Labour: I pity the Foos

The Labour Party - increasingly the Freddie And The Dreamers of British politics - is having a torrid time of it at the moment, as it struggles to try and find a leader who can get through the day without making Theresa May giggle with joy.

In the midst of the current leadership election, the party is beset by the political version of Do You Remember Bagpuss - purges, entryism, jokes about Derek Hatton's suits. I'm half expecting to switch on the Ten O'Clock News to catch a package where Jamie Theakston, Kate Thornton and Stuart Maconie try to remember the lyrics to The Red Flag.

Ah, but purges are awkward things, and apparently a Labour Party member has been suspended for the oddest of reasons. At least according to the Daily Mail:

Labour has suspended a new member from the party and denied a vote in the leadership election after she posted about her love of rock band Foo Fighters on Facebook.

Catherine Starr, a supporter of Jeremy Corbyn, was shocked to receive a letter from the party's General Secretary Iain McNicol telling her that following a vetting procedure she was being refused full membership as she had 'shared inappropriate content on Facebook'.

It said this related to a post on March 5 when she had shared a clip of Dave Grohl's band and wrote 'I f****** love the Foo Fighters'.

We should approach this all with a level of caution - we're living in a weird period of politics where you can't even trust an old man sitting in a vestibule, and this is the Daily Mail whose last honest piece of reporting on the Labour Party was "Kinnock resigns".

To be honest, it's not clear that Starr was suspended over a Foo Fighters post - the Mail does concede she'd been sharing other prime content that day:

That day Mrs Starr, 33, had also shared a friend's inoffensive poster about animal free cosmetics and a cartoon about veganism.

You know how much the Mail loves animal rights, right?

It is possible that the NEC has some ongoing beef with the Foo Fighters. Or maybe they see "Foo Fighters" as some sort of code for those who have recently joined the Labour Party for nefarious purposes.

It's much more likely that a party which has raised the bar on disarray to a level which would be offputting to Ekateríni Stefanídi have made an honest mis... okay, a dishonest mistake. They probably got the day of the offending post wrong, or the name of the offending poster wrong, or maybe confused the Foo Fighters and Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds.

The party hasn't responded to the story yet, but almost certainly will deny it, admit it but say the details are wrong, look crossly over its spectacles at us, and pretend to never have heard of the Foo Fighters. All at the same time.

Glastonbury 2015: When legs snap

The line-up for Glastonbury now has a scary TBA in the Friday night headline slot, with the Foo Fighters pulling out as Dave Grohl's leg is so badly broken.

If it was me, I'd shift Mark Ronson across to the main stage undercard and let Florence headline. In fact, I'd probably have let Florence headline even if Grohl hadn't snapped his leg.

Dave Grohl is a trouper

First song. Falls off stage. Breaks leg. In a cast. PLAYS ON.

Dave fell off the stage during the very first song and broke his leg. He's performing right now anyways. Legend. pic.twitter.com/CsIqnePHxM

— The Metal Core (@TheMetalCore) June 12, 2015

Dave Grohl broke his leg 20 minutes ago during a gig in Sweden and came back on in a cast! LEG END! #guitarhero pic.twitter.com/OVpqJ11XpC

— Today FM (@todayfmofficial) June 12, 2015

Dave Grohl grabs at Britney Spears' breasts

Dave Grohl is currently filling in as a chat-show host, covering Chelsea Handler's Chelsea Lately. On one show, his thoughts turned to Britney Spears:

She just kinda seems dead inside, like there's nothing behind her eyes…

Well, a lot of people have worried about Britney for a long time, Dave, particularly the concern that she's going through the motions on behalf of those who have a financi... oh, you hadn't finished?

Like there's nothing in her boobs anymore!

Hold on, what?

I suppose we should be thankful to Grohl - while scientists struggle for years to discover new particles, Grohl has managed to isolate what appears to be a subatomic form of sexism.

Oh, sure, there's the usual sexism - reducing Britney Spears to her tits.

But then there's a much, much deeper sexism there, reducing her to as just some sort of milch-cow, while simultaneously declaring her to have been milked dry, and thus without value at all.

Here's a thought, Dave: perhaps she's dead inside because of people looking at her and going "it's not even like her tits are that pert these days."

Doubtless Foo Fighters fans are already preparing defences of Grohl. By tea time, I imagine they'll be able to explain how he's actually being progressive.

What the pop papers say: The real Ramones

I'm wondering if NME ought to try taking a leaf out of Whizzer And Chips, and turning itself into two magazines in one. That way, you could have one bit with the stuff that it churns out which we could generously call 'rock heritage' (or 'shouldn't this be in Uncut?' bits), and another which has the generous coverage of artists from whom we haven't yet heard enough.

This week's cover goes to the Arctic Monkeys, and probably should. It's just in the middle of a run which goes Beady Eye - Arctic Monkeys - Foo Fighters; so an editorial decision which makes sense based on the article being promoted ends up looking like just another churn-through of the same old faces.

The interview is billed as "the exclusive album interview", but at the end there's a trail for another interview in two weeks where Alex Turner will talk about the songs on the album. So, erm, presumably that's the other exclusive album interview, then.

What we seem to have is a band who have reached something of the bottom of the ideas bucket. Krissi Murison - yes, the editor's out getting her fingers inky - observes that some of the songs on the new album are a bit opaque. Alex nods:
"Something I've discovered as I've gone on is that it's cool to let the words sometimes take more of a back seat. I think there's two types of songs, where some of the I want people to, like, understand where it is ... Then there's other things ... where it's much more vague, and I kind of want to keep it that way. I always think of some Bowie tunes that do that, things like Five Years, you're right there with him, and other things like that tune Lady Grinning Soul, it's sort of describing this woman, obviously, but you don't know where you are with it."

I know, I know. You're thinking that that is quite a statement - the claim that Lady Grinning Soul is somehow 'vague' is fascinating and so obviously wrong that it calls out for further exploration. But there's also the comparison of what seems like some 'will-this-do' half-formed lyrics to Bowie's use of sideways language to conjure an image - there's a burning 'really, Alex? You think that's the same thing?' hanging there. Or maybe we just want to hear Turner being pushed a little further, to try and explore how the lyrics on the new album live up to his claims, to see if he's not just trying to reverse-out an excuse for not really having had much to say this time round. Earlier in the interview, the band were discussing how they've grown and changed their sound, so perhaps there's a question about if Turner is really able to write words that fit with a band heading in a different musical direction.

Which of these follow-ups does Krissi go with?

None. She just moves on to the next question.

Oh.

Also in the Uncut part of the magazine this week, there's a big splash on The Ramones. But - good news - the NME have got interview time with Debbie Harry. Excellent, a chance for someone with intimate knowledge of the Ramones to share her insights, right?

Uh... no. Harry is crammed away on the back pages (being charming and funny, admittedly) and so the Ramones are strained through the opinions of The Strokes. Because if you don't have a band from a decade ago acting as sponsors, why else would you write about a band from four decades back, eh?

In the Chips style 'good bits' pull out, there's Anna Calvi, where she's actually able to talk about her lyrics (and, funnily enough, about David Bowie) in a way that doesn't sound stilted and a nice bit with Katy B, who still likes travelling on night buses.

Over in the reviews section, there's signs of worrying grade inflation. Nearly everything gets seven or higher; only the Pigeon Detectives pick up six and just one album, out of all this week's releases, gets less than five. That's Beardyman, and even though the review screams "two at best", there's still a large four at the foot of the piece.

Next week, it's the Foo Fighters. It could be any next week from the last hundred years, couldn't it?

If you've taped the Glee v Kings Of Leon match, look away now

It's hard to work up too much energy over the Kings Of Leon v Glee feud; it's a bit like Kasabian going to war with Tickle On The Tum, only with a bigger budget and Perez Hilton replacing Bill Oddie.

But apparently the great war - when Kings Of Leon refused Glee the permission to sell their songs to a large, seemingly endlessly gullible audience, and Ryan Murphy had a little stampy-foot hissy about it.

But it's all over now, as Ryan Murphy has been to NASA and discovered the world doesn't rotate round his late-period Dawson's Creek with singing show:

"I didn't speak with as much clarity as I would have liked," he said on the set of Glee Friday afternoon. "Who am I to say 'F--k you?' That's not what I meant. I completely understand when artists don't want a show or another artist to interpret their songs. In fact, I respect it. It's their personal work and I'd feel the same way. We get turned down all the time and I've don't fight it or even go back after a rejection."

So, much as the Tories tend to not quite apologise for getting things wrong, but blame us for a lack of comprehension, Murphy explains that when he said "fuck you", he wasn't being entirely clear.

That makes sense - a long, rambling statement like "fuck you" is difficult to grasp - even now, I'm not sure exactly what he could possibly have meant by it. If only he could have been a little clearer, perhaps by dropping one of the words in the phrase.

Still, it's peace of a sort - and who is the United Nations in this rapprochement?

Dave Grohl, apparently. He'd sided with the Kings Of Leon, and that seems to have been good enough for Murphy:

. "I've never felt that if you don't give Glee your music, there's something diabolical about you," says Murphy. "To the contrary: I support artists and what they choose to do... I think Kings of Leon are cool as shit. The Foo Fighters are brilliant. We'd love to do one if their songs, if they were ever interested. But if it's not their thing, then OK. I personally wish them luck will still listen to their music."

How big of him to promise to still listen to the Foos, even if they don't want their songs lip-synced.

Truly, the world has achieved a new level of reasonableness.

Dave Grohl is a bit like God

This year's Shockwaves NME Shockwaves Awards are going to give their Shockwaves Shockwaves Godlike Genius Award to Dave Grohl, it was announced about an hour ago.

Dave is pleased:

Dave Grohl says: “It's really flattering and really good company to be in. It's a nice thing to be acknowledge for doing something that you love to do, but in truth I don't consider it a body of work because I don't consider it work, I just consider it this incredible luxury that I get to play music and travel the world and feed my kids. It's pretty great. Awards and lists can get silly sometimes but I'm very appreciative of this. It's really cool to be called a godlike genius!”

Yes, nothing silly about an award sponsored by hairgrease.

Grohl always seems like a thoroughly nice bloke, and giving him a prize seems fair enough.

Not sure that 'genius' sits particularly comfortably, though. Given how he denied the link between HIV and AIDS, raising money for a group that pushed that line, muddled-headed at best might be a more apt title.

NME editor Krissi Murison says: “An NME Godlike Genius is a very rare thing. To qualify, an artist must not only be a musical visionary, have an unparalleled legacy and a decade-spanning career, but also still be meaningful to young bands and music fans today. Whether it’s headlining the world's greatest festivals, staging his own mega-gigs, releasing a series of hugely successful albums, collaborating with everyone from The Prodigy to Paul McCartney or still surprising fans with projects like Them Crooked Vultures, Dave Grohl is at the centre of everything interesting that is happening in music.

To be honest, Them Crooked Vultures, and working with Macca and Prodigy smacks of a career which has run aground - much as how the Oscars and BAFTAs will give a lifetime award to a director or actor who looks like they might not be around for the next prize night, it makes sense for the NME to try and get a prize into hands that are just starting to pull on string driving gloves for a life of trundling in the middle lane.

Also: at the centre of everything interesting happening in music? Really? Are you sure?

McCain annoys another band

We know the McCain-McCheese ticket is struggling to connect with anyone much beyond the hardcore Republican vote, but surely even they must have some sort of musician amongst them? Only time after time, McCain's people are getting annoyed letters from acts whose music they've used.

Latest to object to being linked to the downward spiral are the Foo Fighters:

“It’s frustrating and infuriating that someone who claims to speak for the American people would repeatedly show such little respect for creativity and intellectual property. The saddest thing about this is that ‘My Hero’ was written as a celebration of the common man and his extraordinary potential,” the Foo Fighters said in a statement. “To have it appropriated without our knowledge and used in a manner that perverts the original sentiment of the lyric just tarnishes the song. We hope that the McCain campaign will do the right thing and stop using our song — and start asking artists’ permission in general!

Butgoshdarnsucks, Foo Fighters, dontcha think that Sarah Palin and her snowboard hobby writing-off family are just like that common man, huh? Winkity-wink-wink?

Foos: On a break

Dave Grohl appeared on the Chris Moyles show this morning and announced that the Foo Fighters were going to be taking a long, long break.

What prompted the decision to pull back from having to make and promote albums?

The clue could be in that Dave Grohl was having to talk to Chris Moyles early in the morning.

No Red Rocks & Grohl fun

The Foo Fighters have postponed their Red Rocks gigs due for this week - Dave Grohl isn't well:

"As much as it kills us to postpone shows, I'm in no shape to deliver the kind of balls-out performances that you guys deserve. We're already looking forward to September when we can make it up to everyone ten times over. It's gonna be great."

Let's hope it's not getting cold in the mountains come September, mind.

This sort of joke always goes wrong

Every year, it seems, some radio station will announce a secret surprise show by a cool band as their April Fool's gag.

Every year, it goes terribly wrong as too many people turn up and it all gets a bit ugly.

This year, learning the lesson of forgotten recent history: Rock FM in Auckland, who were surprised when people started canceling work and booking flights for a 'surprise acoustic Foo Fighters gig'.

Grohl takes on Wolverine

The Foo Fighters are launching a legal attack on Marvel: apparently Dave and the boys are unhappy that Marvel slapped some Foos music on the trail for the Wolverine and The X-Men cartoon series. It's not clear what recompense the band are seeking, but our legal expert suggests that Dave could force Wolverine to hand over some haircare tips as compensation.

Beyonce and Grohl to break writer's strike

Although the striking Hollywood writers have appealed to everyone to stay away from the Grammys, the Recording Academy have gleefully issued "statements of support". First up, comes Matthews Knowles:

"The work of The Recording Academy is vital to the music industry, and we have every intention of being with the entire music community to celebrate the GRAMMYs' 50th birthday in February. Beyoncé, as well as my other artists Solange and Trinitee 5:7, have been asked to participate and will do so. We have an incredible Beyoncé performance that will be announced soon. We wish the GRAMMYs the best."

Actually, it's the 50th Grammys, which if our calculations are correct, would make it the 49th Birthday. Unless Beyonce is putting off appearing until next year.

Meanwhile, Dave Grohl is happy to put his 'good bloke' status in the balance by turning up:

"We're participating in 'My GRAMMY Moment' because it creates opportunities. Opportunities to write, compose, play and study music — skills that absolutely need to be passed on to generations to come. And thanks to 'My GRAMMY Moment,' a musician from that next generation is going to get the chance to audition on YouTube to play with us at the GRAMMYs as part of our orchestra."

... and the message that it's okay to cross picket lines will be spread as wide as possible.

Dave Grohl loses some perspective

The attack on Courtney Love is understandable, but Dave Grohl's atack on Paris Hilton is something else. Now, we think Hilton is an over-funded waste of space as much as anyone, but:

“Paris is fucking lame.”

“She’s more offensive to me than anything.

“She’s a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her.”

More offensive than anything? Than poverty, or inequality, or racism? And "slut"? A little overstated, surely, Mr Grohl?

Grohl makes enigmatic Courtney-centred remarks

Oh, good lord, Dave Grohl, if you want to have a public go at Courtney, have a go at her, don't be wrapping it up in coy subjunctive hints and winks:

"I've seen people lose it all to drugs and heartbreak and death. It's happened more than once in my life, but the one that's most noted is Kurt."

"There are a lot of people that I've been angry with in my life, but the one that's most noted is Courtney. So it's pretty obvious to me that those correlations are gonna pop up every now and again."

Do you think Courtney would mimsy around like that? No, she'd come right out with it and start to rip you to shreds, albeit poorly typed and on MySpace, but she'd do it directly nevertheless.

Dave Grohl doesn't want your love

Dave Grohl is keen to stop rock stars being held in high esteem:

"We played a show recently for a bio-engineering company. We met the man who invented synthetic insulin. He basically saved millions of people's lives by reinventing that drug. He is the kind of dude who deserves a medal - not some drunk onstage wearing eyeliner and selling 10 million records.

"What we do isn't changing the world."

Hang about - weren't you on the Live Earth bill on the understanding that what you do can change the world?

Madonna does a cover of the Holby City song

So, yes, Hey You did turn out to be as bad as we feared it would be - not helped by having the lyrics flashed up behind Madge's head as she sang them. With the "S" replaced by dollar signs - do you see?.

And it did turn out that Gogol Bordello's role was to, somehow, represent the rest of the world - presumably, had the logistics team been able to work out a way to get two polar bears on the stage, the Gogols could have happily stayed at T in the Park for the evening. La Isla Bonita? It's not the worst part of the Madonna songbook, obviously, but good lord, surely this would have been the time and place for This Used To Be My Playground?

Ray of Light - which most climate scientists are agreed is almost certain to be the last great Madonna single - was slaughtered by Madonna sounding really, really ropey. It wasn't helped by her decision to play (sort of) the guitar which meant the one thing you really expect from Madonna - a bit of movement - was left to the backing dancers.

It turns out it was surprisingly apt when the cast of Holby City chose to do Hung Up for their Children In Need slot last year - listening to Madonna doing her song tonight, it really did sound like the sort of song a junior doctor who played in a covers band for fun might put together for a medical revue. Something that people would hear and say "that's good... for a junior doctor."

It wasn't just the end of the event, it was also the nadir - because, yes, Madonna did tell the audience to show they were worried about climate by... singing the refrain of Hung Up back to her. It had seemed a bit hopeful that this day would persuade anyone to cut their airtravel; by teatime there was still some hope we could get people to show their commitment by at least avoiding leaving their tellies on standby. By closedown, our hopes had been so reduced the best we were going to get was someone trilling along with Madonna as if that would do.

Earlier, Dave Grohl and the Foo Fighters did a smashing set (again, another band who seem to thrive best, and only exist for, this sort of thing), although Grohl seemed to have won the lead in a revival of Jesus Christ Superstar.

Now, Kate Silverton - surprisingly - is in charge of the through-the-night coverage, apparently trying to avoid fighting over the remaining natural resources of the planet by having bought them up and made into one single, enormous necklace.

Drummers? You're kidding?

We're not quite sure why the person given the job of making the opening announcement was talking in a cartoon character voice - like the dog in the Davey and Goliath christian animation, to be precise - not who thought "the drummers from Queen, Foo Fighters and the Red Hot Chili Peppers" accompanied by what almost certainly appears on the running order as "photogenic ethnic drummers" would be the best way to start the event - it's not only given the impression that this is going to be all hand-made sandals and hand-knitted shawls - but, having got the crowd to a pitch of warmth, if not exactly fever, they're now taking an age to get them off stage creating a longeur between the grand opening and the first act. Could they not at least have arranged it so that Genesis could have been getting ready while they were drumming out We Will Rock You?

Still, there's no doubt that everyone knows what this event is, and what it's about, and what it's called.

Except, erm, the Daily Mail, who seem to think it's Live Aid.

Chris Moyles is trying to sound exciting about the prospect of Duran Duran.

New Foo

Dave Grohl and the Foo Fighters are just putting the finishing touches to album number six: RCA are shipping Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace on the 25th September in the US.

Grohl suggests that there's lots going on in the record:

"There's four-piece rock band shit, but then there are songs where the middle sections turn into this mass orchestrated swarm and ridiculous time signatures."

So, a large budget was available and put to work, then.

Grohl reluctant to mix with Blunt

The Foo Fighters are worrying who they might end up having to get undressed in front of when they play Live Earth this summer:

Grohl thinks he's "too cool" to share a room with some of the "different" acts like James Blunt and John Legend

Well, that's an understandable attitude for an event which is supposed to make us put aside petty differences and all work together.

But who, then, does Grohl feel comfortable to hang about with:

"There's some people on the bill that probably wouldn't be seen in the same room as us. But hey man, I'll party with anybody. You know me. "It could be Madonna, if she wants to come do a couple of shots of Jagermeister with her friend Dave she's more than welcome to come into the room and I'll pour her some chilli shots of whisky, it'll be great!"

It's only when you're at the elevated level of the Foo Fighters that Madonna seems 'cool' rather than the Madonna who stands before us.