Gordon in the morning: Taking nothing, and making nothing out of it

Here's a photo of Victoria Beckham wearing a brick-covered dress. It's not news.

And yet Gordon has to say something about it, as without a reason for the picture to be there, it'd be pointless.

What can Gordon come up with?

LIFE in orange-rich California is clearly rubbing off on VICTORIA BECKHAM.

The Spice Girl arrived at the airport in Los Angeles yesterday looking cracking in this bright dress covered with strawberry hearts.

Yes. She lives in a State where they grow oranges in some place, so that's why she's wearing an ugly dress.

The prospect of ongoing fawning over Oasis until the tour is filling me full of delight, as I'm sure you can imagine. Today: Noel Gallagher has some chips:

[S]eeing OASIS star NOEL GALLAGHER picking up fish and chips to take back to his London home for dinner on Saturday night is so refreshing.

I reckon old enemy ROBBIE WILLIAMS could learn a lot from Noel about how to handle fame.

Because No-el is so love-ly... To be fair to Robbie Williams, though, if he had been photographed carrying two portions of fried food through the streets, the headline wouldn't have been "isn't it refreshing how normal he is", it would have been "Porky Robbie Scoffs Double Chips."

Smart seems to be on a mission to churn through every possible weak Lily Allen pun. Today it's:

Thrilly Allen

... which is, at least, a step forward from Yawny Allen.

Allen has been photographed in the street again with her nipples on view - not, of course, that she's doing it deliberately to get into the papers.