Gordon in the morning: He reads Facebook so you don't have to

How is Gordon keeping up with the latest developments in Amy Winehouse's confused and sad world?

Erm, by reading Facebook:

AMY WINEHOUSE has lost it with husband BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL after learning he contacted “other woman” SOPHIE SCHANDORFF before getting in touch with her after leaving jail.

As I revealed on Saturday, model Sophie used her Facebook page to say she was “celebrating the return of her sailor”.

Isn't copying something off Facebook rather less than a revelation, what with, by definition, that information having already been published? You know, I can copy the news that Gordon has a puppy called Lord Fletcher ("what a character") off his Bebo page, but that hardly makes me Woodward. Or Bernstein.

Nice to see The Sun running prison shower rape gags, though:

Funny that — his soap-on-a-rope mates in prison are probably missing their little sailor too . . .

Thank god Rupert Murdoch is providing clean, family entertainment, offering an alternative to that sexcually-obsessed muck Brand and Ross churn out on the BBC, right?

More 'exclusive first listens' for Gordon today, as Coldplay give the world's softest critic a chance to lick them clean. They've made a new ep, and - you might not believe this - Gordon believes it's brilliant:

Their new Prospekt’s March EP, which I’m the only journalist on the planet to have heard, is their most wildly eclectic offering to date.

Thumping hip-hop jams, thundering metal workouts, Indian tablas and colliery brass bands all jostle for space on their brilliant, bold and, at times, bonkers eight-tracker.

Oh, Gordon, if only you had more than two thumbs to have permanently up when given these exclusives.