Gordon in the morning: Better homes and pardon?

Supposedly, Robbie Williams is thinking of buying a large house in Kent. It's the talk of a village near Tunbridge Wells, apparently. The story has been whacked under this headline:

Robbie's a manor of Kent

After a few minutes, you can just discern an attempt at a pun on 'men of Kent', which is perhaps a bit esoteric for The Sun. And wrong, because Tunbridge Wells is in West Kent so it should, properly, be 'Robbie's a Kentish Manor' if anything. But since Williams wasn't born in Kent, he's not actually either a Man Of Kent or a Kentish Man. Certainly not on the strength of two house viewings.

Meanwhile, over at the GQ awards...

THE JLS boys started the night with a bit of a shocker - mistaking ALICE COOPER for an old woman.

But it seems Alice took it well and posed for a photo with JB, MARVIN, ORITSE and ASTON.

Much as I would love to believe this story, it doesn't really make any sense - how are they supposed to have "mistaken" Cooper? Did someone say 'have your photo taken with Alice' and they say 'I don't see an old woman?'

That seems a little unlikely - and why would they assume Alice to be old, even if the female name could be confusing?

Or did they meet Alice Cooper, and think he was a woman? That doesn't seem likely, either.

The "story" under the standfirst doesn't actually have any further explanation. It all has the air of something made-up to sit under an otherwise pointless photo.

God, I'm defending JLS. I feel dirty.