Martin, Paltrow go their separate ways

I'm guessing, like me, you didn't sleep well last night, as the words "Coldplay break-up album" kept churning through your mind like a horrified heartbeat every time you closed your eyes.

Obviously, the news of a couple separating, especially when they have a young family is always a sad thing, but...

Conscious Uncoupling

It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.

Love,
Gwyneth & Chris

How can they manage to make even their divorce into a vomit-inducing festival of tweeness?