Gordon in the morning: An advertising message

Gordon Smart hasn't bothered to do any news today; instead he's just written about an advert for a telephone instead featuring Beckham and that woman out the L'Oreal commercials:

The stylish A-listers appear in the TV promo for [a brand of] phones alongside the slogan "Friends. Fashion. Fabulous."

Journalism will lie in state for two evenings before being buried in a shallow grave round the back of a KFC.

It's a thin morning for Bizarre

The two lead pieces in Victoria Newton's column today are fairly poor photos which Newton has attempted to disguise by suggesting they both look like something else.

So we have Kerry Katona smoking a cigarette:

Ciggie in mouth and dressed like that, the I’m A Celeb winner bore a striking resemblance to another Fag Ash Lil, TV’s Waynetta Slob, wife of Wayne (mum and dad to Spudulika).

Erm... no she didn't. And isn't it more interesting that Iceland are apparently still using her for their adverts?

Then, even more tenuously, there's J-Lo:

J-Lo’s sultry pose is identical to EVA HERZIGOVA’s in the legendary Wonderbra campaign.

Well, if you accept that "identical" means "a bit like", and ignore that Eva was looking at her breasts with her hands up and, erm, Jennifer Lopez was looking at the floor with her arms down. But when you're desperate to fill space, I guess anything will do.