Pop stars in reduced circumstances: Gareth Gates

Gareth Gates, once the original Pop Idol. Wonder what he's up to these days?

Playing to standing-room only crowds, that's what. Even if it's not actually the Albert Hall:

TV pop star Gareth Gates headlined a concert for holidaymakers in Burnham-On-Sea on Saturday night (May 16th). The singer, who shot to fame during ITV's Pop Idol, performed at Burnham Holiday Village during a concert as part of a nationwide Haven Holidays tour.

There was standing room only as over 500 spectators filled the park's performance area to see him sing a line-up of hit songs from the past 20 years.

For people struggling to place Gareth, the Burnham On Sea website helpfully points out that "more recently" he was on Dancing On Ice. Which is true. If you don't recall him winning Pop Idol in 2002, you might just recall him coming fourth in Dancing On Ice seven years ago. There's every chance.

The power of having Simon Cowell shape your career.

Gordon in the morning: Emma Bunton's cousin

Another day when the story cupboard is empty for Gordon then, as he splashes with Dancing On Ice star and Emma Bunton's cousin. It's going to be quite crushing for Gareth Gates that he's now been reduced to "Dancing On Ice star" - even Pop Idol doesn't get a mention till the bottom of the story, never mind his singing.

Apparently, he might have kissed Hayley Louise Hughes, who - you'll be ahead of us here - is vaguely related to a Spice Girl; she then posted photos on Facebook (or, inevitably, "t'internet") which Gordon thinks is going to make things difficult for Gareth and his fiancee Suzanne Mole. Although, erm, as Smart himself admits, this all happened before they were engaged. (Which, in itself, means this all happened before Christmas. Three month old stories, Gordon - is this Time Team?

Gordon seems to have something else he wants to say:

Now the pop-flop Dancing On Ice star may find himself lost for words for a change.
[...]
When Suzanne sees the pictures, Gareth will have to do some fast talking...

Not, of course, that Gordon would be making nudge-nudge gags about a man with a stutter.

But if Gordon is running with a distant relative of Emma Bunton hugging someone months ago as his big story, what does that mean for the down-page stories? Surely they're not going to be quite so thin, are they?

How about Billy Zane wears some pink trousers?

Adele beat up Gareth Gates fans

We're usually pretty dismissive of the Sunday Mirror's Showbiz with Zoe column, but we have to applaud her this week for the glimpse into life at the Brits school.

She does describe it as "the trendy Brits school", which is both a really archaic word (why not go the whole hog and call it 'groovy'?) and wrong, anyway, as it's a kind of vacuum-packed stage school nightmare, which has never been the in thing. Unless you have fantasies which revolve around The Swish Of The Curtain. And if you do, that's wrong.

Still, Adele - a recent graduate, of course - reveals that this supposed cauldron of talent, the place where the next generation of British music drones are trained up, were so in thrall to Simon Cowell, the playground fights were over Will Young:

"Will Young was my first proper love. I was obsessed.

"The Gareth Gates fans were horrible to me and I wasn't having any of it.

"We had a fight and I was called into the head teacher's office and sent home. It was serious.

"It was so embarrassing when I met Will. I've loved him since I was 14, and the first thing that came out my mouth was, 'I voted for you 5,000 times!"

Zoe is proud to be talking to Adele:

I had the first interview with the rising star, who is being given the Critics' Choice statue at the Brit Awards next month.

First interview. Quite a scoop - although you have to ignore the Channel 4. And the one with Orange Music. Oh, and Time Out and Simon Mayo. And This Is Fake DIY, The Observer, Virgin Radio and BBC News Online. But if you ignore all of those, it's a hell of a scoop.

Gareth gets engaged

Given that his last attempt to muster a comeback relied on desperately trying to spin out the "I've had sex with Jordan" anecdote, the news that Gareth Gates is getting engaged probably signals the last scrape of bottom of the musical career jar.

The Bradford-born singer is rumoured to be among the contestants on the next series of ITV1's Dancing On Ice.

Oh, yes.

Even the BBC News report on his engagement mentions the Jordan connection, which probably means the best man will feel obliged to try and work it into the speeches.

Good news for Gareth Gates and HMV

After some tough times for them both, Gareth Gates and HMV will be delighted to hear that someone was seen in HMV buying a copy of Gareth's single.

That it was Gareth Gates might take the shine off it a little; it's unknown if Gennaro Castaldo was behind him in the queue with a basket.

Gareth Gates claims his dues

At first, you think that Gareth Gates is having a little joke...

"Paul owes me. It's not just Unchained Melody that made him money. Will [Young] and I recorded the Beatles' The Long And Winding Road, so I think I deserve my after-show party ticket"

... but the mention of the second song really does suggest that Gareth was actually being straight faced.

He presumably realises that, set against McCartney's annual earnings, the royalties from a Gareth Gates song would probably barely make a tinkle in a pewter mug, doesn't he? And, also, since he was paying McCartney for the rights to a song that McCartney owned, in what way would that put McCartney into Gates' debt? Does Gates think that when he buys a pasty from Greggs, somehow this means he has a moral right to go to the bakers' Christmas staff do?

"It was an amazing gig. Seeing the crowd respond to Hey Jude really made me want to cover it. All those voices singing along is something I'd love to experience."

Gareth, Gareth... it might take a little more than merely copying someone else's song for that to happen, you understand.

Gates pulls GAY shower off

We don't know what makes us bury our heads deeper in our hands - that Gareth Gates is so eager to please he'd planned to do a nude shower dance onstage at GAY, or that he was stopped doing so not by common sense or worries that the stench of desperation is hard to lose, but because it was a "health and safety" danger.

Presumably we're talking about electrocution, although there's every chance the scramble of self-respecting gay men trying to flee the scene as quickly as possible could have been a danger.

Gates opens again

Here's a chill wind blowing through the house: what can it be?

The return of Gareth Gates, that's what.

He's overcome his stammer altogether, which has excited Victoria Newton no end:

He now gets to show off his personality — we had no idea what he was like before because he couldn’t express himself.

While it's great that Gates no longer stammers, I think we all managed to get a pretty good idea what he was like last time round, didn't we?

Apparently, though, he hated the music he was doing:

What happened with my first two albums is that I arrived at the studio, walked into the booth, was told what to sing and left an hour later.

“That was my only input on the records I made. But with this one I’ve had the freedom to be able to play guitar and piano on it. It’s much more about me.”

You say that, Gareth, like it's a good thing.

The real indication that this is a threadbare comeback, though, is that Gates is forced to fall back on the only vaguely interesting thing about himself: "Did you know I had sex with Jordan?":

“I’m aware that the story became bigger because I denied anything had gone on, when in fact it had.

“I’m a bit older and more mature about it now. I look back and wish I’d been honest about it.

“The truth is we did have a relationship. She was made to look foolish because I denied it all, and I regret that.

“I don’t blame her for slagging me off over it. I don’t regret my relationship with Jordan.

“I’ve never bumped into her anywhere but I do hope I will so I can have a chat with her and apologise. She’s a nice girl. It’s very easy for people to slag her off but when you get to know her she is great.

“I’m glad that she’s found someone to make her happy and I do hope I can see her face to face soon and put things to rest.”

"Making Jordan look foolish" is quite a difficult thing to do, or more foolish, anyway. But it's curious Gates thinks that what makes her look idiotic was that he refused to confirm their "relationship" (although that's quite a grand description of a random knee-trembler) rather than the pair of them copping off together in the first place.

Gates' single isn't even out until the start of April. Let's hope he's not splashed his Jordan story.

"I'm hoping for a six pack. Or at least a double pack"

Gareth Gates has made a resolution to 'get big' to attract more gay fans in a desperate bid to shore up his falling audience ("attract more older fans", although the bit about shoring up the audience stands).

Look! We've read an email!

Again, lots of good stuff in the remember the 80's mailout, which are always one part joy to six parts warning. Billy Currie of Ultravox and Jay Aston from Buck's Fizz are preparing to launch their solo careers; Nik Kerhsaw wrote a Christmas song for Gareth Gates but Gates didn't use it so he's going to record it himself; and, winningly, Katrina out of Katrina and the Waves is singing on Holly Vallance's album.

We always had a soft spot for Jay Aston - you could see in her eyes that she really wished Bucks Fizz were living some sort of rockslut dream, but she could never take them along. We were always mildly surprised that she never turned out for David Van Day's Buck Fizz, but then since David's idea of sexy was cheap ass placcy trews, maybe we're not. She should consider Rockbitch.

I think I missed that march

Apparently, Robbie's Christmas single is now coming out a week early "to satisfy public demand." Oh, yeah? Nothing to do with trying to avoid an embarrassing drubbing for the Man Who Holds The Hopes of EMI at the hands of Gareth Gates and Blue, whose singles shared the original date of release, then.

If public demand for Robbie singles is really insisting they come out earlier, why not today?