Helping out Daddy Chester

Back in the 80s, Daddy Chester was doing alright - working with Adamski, building a DJ career. But things don't always run smoothly, and he's now struggling a bit. He's caught in that place where in order to access the services that can help you get back on track, you need an address; but you don't have an address because you need to get back on track to get one.

Some of his friends are trying to help out with a GoFundMe campaign.

Pop stars in not exactly reduced circumstances

There's an odd little piece in the spitewrapper that is the Mail On Sunday this morning - it's a glorified puff piece for some sort of timesharey/homeswapping deal. But what's fascinating is that the frontman for the operation is Marcus Vere.

Marcus Vere.

"Eighties pop star Marcus Vere".

We'll save you the Googling - he was in Living In A Box. Which does at least allow the Mail a sort-of joke:

He found fame with a song about ‘living in a cardboard box’, but musician Marcus Vere can now live in a variety of what he describes as ‘grandiose and luxuriant boxes’ all around the world.

Oddly, this isn't the first time Vere has popped up to enthuse over the project. Last year he was trilling about it in the Telegraph:

One member is music producer Marcus Vere, a former member of the 1980s band Living in a Box, whose 17th century thatched cottage in the Cotswolds is almost entirely booked up this summer. In return, he and his family have enjoyed free accommodation all over the world.

“We save thousands this way. As a family of five, you’re looking at nearly £5,000 even for economy tickets to fly to the US these days, so we’re happy to take any benefits we can from having a house in the Cotswolds to subside our holiday accommodation costs. This summer, we’re staying at the Trump Hotel & Tower on Central Park.”

He also popped up in the London Evening Standard enthusing over the service:

London musician and X Factor songwriter Marcus Vere, the keyboard player in Eighties band Living in a Box, owns a striking five-bedroom holiday home in the Cotswolds with his wife Laetitia, where they enjoy time with their children JJ, Giselle and Nina, aged 13, 11 and nine.

Now, it's possible that Vere just loves the service so much he can't stop talking about it. Because if he was promoting the service in return for some sort of consideration, they'd mention that in the articles, right?

David Cassidy sells up

David Cassidy is bankrupt, and selling his house. He's even reduced to showing people round the home in a bid to sell it:

At least he hasn't yet had to endure Amanda Lamb turning up to cast judgement on how he lives ("offer ways to help with the clutter"), I guess.

And Cassidy won't be down for long. Apparently he's got a Christmas album coming out, so if you do happen to be in a car park at the same time as he is, do pick up a copy.

Pop stars in reduced circumstances: Gareth Gates

Gareth Gates, once the original Pop Idol. Wonder what he's up to these days?

Playing to standing-room only crowds, that's what. Even if it's not actually the Albert Hall:

TV pop star Gareth Gates headlined a concert for holidaymakers in Burnham-On-Sea on Saturday night (May 16th). The singer, who shot to fame during ITV's Pop Idol, performed at Burnham Holiday Village during a concert as part of a nationwide Haven Holidays tour.

There was standing room only as over 500 spectators filled the park's performance area to see him sing a line-up of hit songs from the past 20 years.

For people struggling to place Gareth, the Burnham On Sea website helpfully points out that "more recently" he was on Dancing On Ice. Which is true. If you don't recall him winning Pop Idol in 2002, you might just recall him coming fourth in Dancing On Ice seven years ago. There's every chance.

The power of having Simon Cowell shape your career.

Bookmarks: Rosie Gaines

Rosie Gaines, who collaborated with Prince on Diamonds And Pearls, has fallen on hard times - and, although she's not an easy person to help, other musicians are doing their best to give her a hand. The San Fran Chronicle's Lee Hildebrand tells the story:

Friends offered Rosie housing, but she refused every time. Curtis Ohlson, her former husband and bandleader, says that a prominent musician found her a house in Hayward with a piano and a swimming pool.

“I don’t like Hayward. Hayward is evil,” he says she responded.

Mark Feehily now sells coffee from a van

It's only a "side project", says Mark Feehily, as he flogs coffees:

The former boyband member – who raked in a string of hits before the band split up in 2012 – revealed he is now running a catering van, selling crepes and coffees.
The 34-year-old insisted the career move was a “side project”

I'm not sure 'being in a top-selling pop act' and then 'selling coffee at the side of the road' quite counts as a "career move".

...adding: “People were flabbergasted that I was in the van making crepes."

God, yes. Who the hell buys crepes from a van these days?

Joey Fatone is keeping himself busy

Hey, don't think because N'Sync stopped being a going concern over a decade ago that time weighs heavily on Joey Fatone's hands.

Joey's got stuff to do:

Joey Fatone Visits Brookings For Worlds Largest Pillow Fight

What this story really says is not 'Joey Fatone went to a pillow fight' but 'America desperately lacks a pantomime tradition which would mop up the formerly famous and give them something to do every few months'.

Tina Barrett: Oh no, she isn't

Are Easter pantomimes even a thing? Apparently in Blackpool, where former S Club 7er Tina is about to play the Wicked Witch in the Wizard Of Oz.

Is The Wizard Of Oz a pantomime, come to that?

Anyway, the Blackpool Gazette sees this as quite a coup:

Barrett is a well known figure to millions, after becoming one of the biggest names in pop music during the late 90s.

A well known figure to millions, and yet...

Pop star prepares to turn all wicked

... not so well known that the Gazette is going to take the risk of using her name in the headline.

The Offspring don't know what to do with their new music

The Offspring aren't entirely sure what to do with the GREAT NEW MUSIC they're about to make:

In the true spirit of punk rock, Noodles seems unconcerned about what’s going to happen next.

“At this point, all options are open. Either we go back and try and renegotiate a deal with Columbia or work with someone else or maybe even make our music free on the internet.

"In a way it’s very liberating, as well as being scary, not knowing what to do and having to figure it out for ourselves, but you know, we’ve been doing this for quite a while and I’m sure we’ll land on our feet.”

I've had uncles who talked like this - 'yeah, it's actually really liberating to be sleeping in a car, because you can just park up where you like, right? The whole world is my hotel. I could sleep by Loch Lomond, or outside Windsor Castle, or on the top of Snowdon. Although mostly I spend my nights in the hedge outside your aunt's house crying."

I can't help wondering if Columbia were keen on renegotiating the deal, that they might have started doing that before the old one expired.

Johnny Borrell: When life gives you a very small lemon, you make a tiny glass of lemonade

Is Johnny Borrell upset by the pissweak sales of his solo album, Borrell1?

Of course he is.

But is he going to admit that?

No way. Take off your shirt and put on your brave face, baby:

''It is being heard and appreciated by as many people as possible! It is!

''If that's 500 people, that's 500 people. If those are the 500 people that are open enough at this point in time to heard this record, f***ing fantastic man.''

After all, if anyone enjoys it, that's a bonus, right?

''I would rather play to 80 people who are switched on enough, and unprejudiced enough, to get what's going on with this band right now, than to play to 80,000 people who are there because that's the CD that's out this year or whatever.''

Yeah, because why would you want to cram your pockets with a payday when you could, instead, be playing the backroom of a pub somewhere for peanuts and the odd lager top?

Because those 80 people (yes, Johnny is assuming about a sixth of everyone who bought the album will turn up) are there just to hear him. Or at least will listen patiently while they're waiting for the meat raffle to be drawn.

Five Star garden party

You know that episode of Modern Family where one of Spandau Ballet turns up to do a solo gig at one of the houses?

Nothing like that would happen in real life, right?

What's that, Melton Times?

A STAR-STRUCK fan had a birthday bash he’ll never forget when one of the biggest British pop stars of the eighties turned up to sing in his back garden.

Martin Taylor, of Asfordby, was overjoyed when Denise Pearson, lead singer with Five Star and now a solo artist, sang at his 42nd birthday party on Saturday.

Actually it's quite a sweet story - Taylor's a big fan and knows Pearson, so it was a favour for a friend rather than reduced circumstances. But the Melton Times does slightly overboil it:

Renowned as Britain’s answer to the Jackson Five...

Let me just stop you there. "Renowned" is not a synonym for "Desperately marketed as".

Gordon in the morning: Liam's humiliation

It's obviously humiliating for Liam Gallagher that in Manchester - Manchester - Beaky Eye are only able to book gigs in the size of room you'd hire for the funeral tea for an unpopular Uncle.

You know what you might want to not do in those circumstances? Come across like a whiny boo-hoo, complaining and drawing attention to your reduced circumstances by pointing at another act who is doing so much better than you.

When did Liam ever get it right, though?

Gordon Smart bottles the bitterness:

Liam lost his rag as his band BEADY EYE played Manchester’s 1,500-capacity Ritz while Robbie chalked off another sold-out show in front of 60,000 at Manchester City’s home ground.

Williams is playing three nights there. Given that Gallagher has drawn attention to the difference, remember that he'd have to play a solid four months of gigs at the Ritz to reach the same number of fans Williams is playing to in Manchester.

Speaking on 5 Live, [Gallagher] ranted: “We should be playing the Etihad three nights (sic), not some f***ing fat f***ing idiot.

Quite why Gallagher believes he has a right to play in the Man City ground isn't clear, but given the size of his audience, he certainly could. He could even do it the same night as Williams plays - Robbie in the main part of the stadium; Captain Beaky could take on the kit room.

But as his consciousness streams, Gallagher realises who the real villans are. People. People who steadfastly refuse to give a flying fuck about his twilight band:

“Poor, mate. It’s not about him, it’s people in general. But it is about f***ing him, just in case you think I’m scared or something.

“It’s a small gig. Beady Eye ain’t a big band.

“Everyone thinks we’re going to announce big f***ing stadiums. That (The Ritz) is the level we’re at and we’ll stay at that until you pull your f***ing finger out and buy the f***ing records.”

You know what, Liam? If you want people to buy your records, you might want to try making them... well, let's start with 'not lazy shit', shall we?

Peter Andre: The downward spiral

Excitement from Thorpe Park in an announcement less than a month ago:

Thorpe Park have announced that Peter Andre will be performing LIVE at Thorpe Park on 23rd May 2010, he will be joined by 'X Factor sensation Lucie Jones' and Flawless will be heading back to the park to show off more of their legendary dance moves!

Tickets are available from £28 on the Thorpe Park Website by Clicking Here, along with seeing your favourite stars perform, ticket holders will get 1 hour ERT (Extended Ride Time) on the parks most thrilling attractions, Saw - The Ride, Stealth, Colossus and Nemesis Inferno!

Even more excitement this morning:

Peter Andre tickets now just £12

That's some quite serious deep discounting. Peter Andre seems to be caught in his own personal nemesis inferno.

INXS: Reversal of fortune

Winning a reality TV show - that's the route to fame and fortune and, at the very least, not living like a tramp in a lay-by, right?

Of course not.

JD Fortune, who won the chance to replace Michael Hutchence in INXS, is now living in a car in Canada. He says the band kicked him out with no warning, dumping him at Hong Kong Airport and he's had a bit of trouble since then.

The band, of course, deny it.

Actually, they don't:

A spokeswoman for the group said she could not comment on Fortune's sacking, as did band member Kirk Pengilly's fiancee Layne Beachley when contacted by Confidential.

You've got to love the surprised tone that "the fiance of someone in the band didn't have a comment to make". Presumably, there wasn't enough time to seek a response from the cousin of the guy who does the printing for the band's accountants, either?

Andy Bell's slipping a crusty cobbler to the Cheeky Girls

Andy Bell isn't just a pretty face. When he's not gyrating in a rubber-tight tshirt, he's flogging bread in Rye:

I help out at this market stall in Rye and we get the Cheeky Girls coming to buy bread. They haven't got a clue who I am, I was thinking that hopefully the penny might drop because they've seen me on TV or something. How sad I am - I thought maybe I should make them a CD of suggestions of songs that would be good for their voice. Some people do recognise me when I'm working on the stall, and they think that I'm not making music anymore and that's my new thing.

Given that David Van Day was flogging hotdogs along the coast in Brighton a couple of years back, you could start to put together a good meal from 80s pop stars if you live in Sussex. Perhaps Marilyn is offering his clotted cream up in Ditchling.

New Kids On The Dock

James P emails to alert me to the forthcoming New Kids On The Block cruise liner gig:

The band seem quite defensive, saying "this is not a step back" and that a cruise ship concert is "not a cheesy thing". The cruise leaves Florida for the Bahamas in mid-May, and is open to all fans of songs heavily reliant on the word 'Oh'.

James somewhat cruelly suggests this is the band following the Jane McDonald career path. That's well unfair, seeing as Jane started on the ships and then came ashore, while the New Kids used to be quite famous and are now cast adrift.

S Club 7 comeback starts, ends in disaster

Did you know S Club 7 are back? Well, not quite back: it's only three of them and they're just hobbling round doing "a medley of their hits" for drunken students.

Amongst the line-up is Jo O'Meara who either came across as a bully during her spell on Celebrity Big Brother, or else was the victim of cruel editing, depending on if you have a sense of judgement or not.

Drunken students. Faded stars desperately dancing for coins. A person who somehow thought she was the victim when she was outed as being happy to sit around yukking while a person got battered by racist bullying. It's a set-up for disaster, isn't it?

Yes, so it turns out: Jo got hit by a bottle and wound up with a two-inch gash in her head, the set at Tokyo in Bradford was cut short. Even shorter, actually:

Bradley, 27, yelled at the 900-strong crowd: “It takes just one idiot to ruin everybody’s night.

“If you are going to throw a glass, throw it at me...you had to spoil it.”

Police are, according to The Sun, "investigating" to see if the attack was connected to O'Meara's Celebrity Big Brother appearance, although it's not clear why: after all, it's as unacceptable to throw stuff at people as Jo's behaviour on the TV show was. Even if the person who lobbed the bottle did it because they were angry about her part in the goading of Shilpa Shetty it doesn't excuse it, does it?

It's far more likely that the problem is down to a disjunction between what the band think they were doing - playing old hits to fans - and what they actually were doing, which was playing a set at a boozy student night with free entry. It's hard to understand why the club would have booked a turn who have been hovering between target and joke-butt for years, let all-comers in, and then give them drinks in glass containers.