Kasabian: Internets ruined music

Why did rock music stop being sexy and underground and become so humdrum.

Here's a thought: Kasabian.

No, no: not that Kasabian ruined rock; I mean Kasabian have a theory. The NME has the details:

The outspoken frontman claims there are no iconic musicians left because artists reveal too much about themselves on blogging websites such as Twitter.

He said: "It's not like what it used to be like in rock 'n' roll. In the 60s and 70s you had the likes of David Bowie and Marc Bolan, and then in the 80s you even had shit acts that were rock stars. Then in the 90s you had the Britpop revival."

Yes, I think I remember the Britpop revival. That would have been when, erm, everyone harked back to the days of Britpop while they were still having.

You'll note that Meighan's theory manages to find no room for punk or new wave at all, and also seems to be lamenting an era when "shit acts" were treated as rock royalty. It's a bit like someone trying to form a viewpoint about 20th Century history without including the Second World War and trying to treat Vietnam as the sort of thing America really should be doing now.

Anyway, in the past it was all unlocked doors and smiling policemen, and now it's not. What went wrong, Tom?

"I think - especially in the last three or four years - the internet's taken a stranglehold and killed off the myth of the rock star now."

It's the internets! Of course. Only since about 2007, though.

"You know when you used to buy the records and there was the myth behind them?"

Yes, who can forget the complex myth-making of Britpop; the elaborately constructed backstory of Menswe@r, for example? It was like a Norse legend.

"There's too much on blogs now and I think it's killed it off. Nobody's surprised by an interview anymore or anything. It's quite tragic."

Well, nobody's ever surprised by anything in a Kasabian interview. Except if they were ever to say "actually, Hard Fi were miles better than us."

It doesn't seem to have occurred to Tom that the problem is not blogs and the internet, but more that rock has moved so far from the edges to the centre, and bands are pushed by their labels to make themselves so available. The supply is the problem, not so much the distribution.

Nor that, perhaps, the reason we don't have a Bowie now is that we're quite happy to settle for so much less. If we're giving prizes to Kasabian with a straight face, isn't that sign that - as a culture - we're getting the rubbish pop stars we deserve?

He also said blogging has taken away the spirit of rock 'n roll'. He told Bang Showbiz: "There are so many rock stars writing these self pitying blogs and it's not in the spirit of rock 'n' roll, it's like 'Wow, what rubbish'."

There is, naturally, a document which details exactly what behaviour is acceptable from rock and roll stars, and 'writing self-pitying blogs' is banned. Turns out 'sounding like you're seventy years old and waffling on as if you were Michael Parkinson about how rotten popular culture is' is fine, though.

Ross & Brand: Parkinson weighs in

The descent of public debate continues: Now, Michael Parkinson has decided he simply must say something. He must, he must:

Speaking on Radio 5 Live he branded the calls "obscene, tasteless and unfunny".

He added that he had no sympathy for Brand, who resigned last week, but claimed Ross would bounce back.

"He's very good at his job but he's given to fits of madness now and again." Ross has been suspended from the BBC for 12 weeks without pay.

"In the end what Brand did, and what Jonathan did, was indefensible."

"Jonathan should have more oil in his lamp frankly, more sense," Sir Michael told Eammon Holmes.

"I don't have an opinion on the other guy," he continued. "He's generously called a comedian."

You know, a catty 'generously called a comedian' sounds surprisingly like Parkinson having an opinion on him to me. But then the very idea of Michael Parkinson claiming not to have an opinion on something is, in itself, somewhat difficult to believe.

Parky fills the hours

Did you happen to catch Michael Parkinson on Jonathan Ross at the start of the weekend? Somehow claiming that he'd given up his ITV chat show because he was tired of it - despite having been moaning on elsewhere that Michael Grade had canned it because it was too expensive? Still banging on about the BBC shifting him for Match Of The Day? Fawning over Ross and his interviewing technique, hoping nobody would remind him of his constant griping about the current state of the chat show?

If you've still not had enough of Parky shoved down your craw, you'll be delighted to hear that he's sticking out a series of albums. Because he's a proper journalist, you see, and not a celebrity, so he's following in the footsteps of the Charles Wheeler Presents The Hardline series from Def Jam a couple of years back.

There is, of course, a press release written in tones that make the Gospels sound uncommitted:

With a multi-award winning career as a broadcaster, Parkinson is renowned as one of the music industry's most influential figures. His series of album releases commences with the November 3rd release of 'My Life in Music', a compilation of the music that has provided the soundtrack to his life, remembers the extraordinary people he's met and celebrates the styles of music and performers he is most passionate about.

Is he really renowned as "one of the music industry's most influential figures"? Isn't that just a bit of old tosh dreamed up a couple of years back to try and boost the idea that appearing in the middle of the night on an ITV chat show while the world watched the football on the other side was some sort of a way to boost a career other than Parkinson's?

'My Life in Music' will be released on Reprise Records, the label founded by the man Parkinson calls his "greatest entertainer", the legendary Frank Sinatra, as well as home to one of his favourite contemporary artists Michael Bublé. The album's 40 tracks, hand picked by Parkinson, feature the crème de la crème of jazz and classical songs from some of the most respected artists including Bublé, Nat King Cole, Paul Simon, Elton John and of course Frank Sinatra. The Sinatra tracks are a particular coup as they are not usually licensed for compilations.

Interesting that "one of the music industry's most influential figures" has chosen to stick up a load of acts that, erm, got going quite nicely without his help. And, of course, Michael Buble who probably did get a boost from appearing on Parky shortly before disappearing again.

Still, good work on getting Sinatra onboard - after all, they only very occasionally allow his tracks to appear on compilations. They have to be of the quality of Classic Crooners Selection, for example.

And this is the first in a series. Michael, you're spoiling us.

Parkinson: I am the music man

For years, Michael Parkinson has liked to suggest that his TV chatshow - far from being the William Hickey column with moving pictures - is some sort of hotbed of journalism. Now, as he prepares to retire - again - he's also laying claim to being some sort of latterday John Peel, "breaking" risky new acts:

Asked whether he had had to fight to get acts such as Cullum and Krall on his shows, he said: "Oh absolutely. I mean the thought of putting someone unknown now on to television on a show like mine would cause them to have a heart attack and you say to them look what happened to Jamie?

So Michael Parkinson gives new young acts (Razorlight are also mentioned) a break. We love the idea that he had to "fight" to get Razorlight on the show. Really?

Dope is great, says George Michael

George Michaal's seeking out of a remote new home in Scotland could be explained by his new-found enthusiasm as a spokesperson for cannabis. It's great, he tells Michael Parkinson:

Singer George Michael has said the world would be an "easier place to live with" if cannabis was legal.

Speaking to ITV chat show host Michael Parkinson, the star said he was not "advocating" the drug for everyone.

"Nobody ever came home stoned and beat up their wife," the 43-year-old former Wham! singer said.

Well, not quite, but there is a disturbing amount of evidence starting to build up that people do act quite violently after smoking skunk, isn't there?

George also revealed he was addicted to prescription medicines, too - which is like being addicted to ordinary drugs, but your man gets pens and mousemats from his supplier, rather than threats of violence and a semi-regular beating with a baseball bat.

It's all a result of depression following the death of his Mum:

"I know I have a very self-destructive tendency since my mother died, I have got to be honest. That has kind of made itself clear in other ways," he said.

Interestingly, despite having pleaded guilty to driving while unfit, and thus having told the courts he broke the law, he tells Parky he hasn't broken the law at all:

"Ultimately I didn't break the law. I did something stupid, and doing something irresponsible is not a position that I am normally used to defending myself in," he said.

But, George, by saying "guilty" in a court, you are admitting you broke the law. Just because something is also irresponsible and stupid doesn't mean it can't also be illegal. Let's hope that they don't take this sudden public 'not guilty' plea into account when you go back for sentencing - because you know how judges hate scofflaws, George.

Charlotte Church: Michael Parkinson was well out of order

Charlotte Church has tutted that Michael Parkinson asked her about shagging:

"Michael Parkinson asked me, 'How's your sex life?' I said, 'Mr Parkinson, are you serious?' He went, 'Oh, sorry, I shouldn't have asked that'. "Damn right he shouldn't," the Welsh star said, "he's old enough to be my grandad."

We're not quite sure how much younger Parky would have had to be for it to be alright - or, indeed, why the question was so far out of line when she, erm, has been threatening to write a sex guide.

Charlotte, you see, believes that there are lines over which interviewers should not step:

"The producers suggest questions - 'Ask Ashlee Simpson about the plastic surgery rumours' I go, 'No, she's 22.

"If she's had plastic surgery [a rumoured nose job], it would have been because she's so insecure. I'm not going to bring that up.'"

Which might be fair enough, were it not for three things. First, having your nose replaced by a totally different nose isn't exactly a secret, what with it being as plain as the, well, nose on your face. It's not the sort of thing that you do if you don't want people to admire it.

Secondly, Simpson's hypocritical pronouncements in Marie Claire about how you should you shoud love yourself for what you are, made while having the appointment with Doctor Newnose already pencilled in, would more than make it fair game for an interview - after all, since she's been caught out churning out positive-sounding stuff in the media, shouldn't an interviewer ask why anyone should believe a word she says?

Thirdly, and most importantly, Simpson had already been talking about the nosejob elsewhere on her promo tour - something the producers of the programme would have known, even if Church didn't.

Fair enough, The Charlotte Church Show isn't Newsnight, but Church has made it clear that there's no point whatsoever in watching, as guests are going to be treated to the softest ride of their lives. Not Newsnight? It's not even Davina.