Like Maximo Park? In Newcastle? Reading this now?

Maximo Park are playing a short-notice gig at the Cluny tonight.

Gordon in the morning: The dream of blue collar workers

Beware, beware: Sting has written a musical, warns Gordon:

The musical is set in the 1980s in the North East's shipbuilding industry.

He said: "It's at the early stages.

"We had a big reading last week with 20 actors. I was very surprised about the emotional response.

"We're thinking about taking it up to Newcastle to workshop it.

"I'm really excited by it."

A musical about working-class men written by a man who uses "workshop" as a verb? Doesn't fill you full of hope, does it?

Beaker half-full: Universal attempt a British Miley Cyrus

Here's one fresh from the flipchart at a company brainstorm: Universal Records have decided that what the UK needs is a British Miley Cyrus, and have set about making it so:

Tracey Beaker star Dani Harmer is set to battle it out in the charts with the likes of Alexandra Burke and Lily Allen by launching a career as a pop star!

The CBBC actress has signed a record deal worth up to £3 million with the Universal/Decca music label.

Burke has had a busy week - she's also taken on the job of playing a grown-up Tracy Beaker in a series which follows the character from Sainsburys' kids stationery range after she leaves care. It's going to be on CBBC, so presumably Beaker won't slide in to the crime-drugs-prison spiral that bedevils a lot of people as they leave the care system and struggle with minimal support.

And expectations for the series are high. How high? Well, the Newcastle Journal seems to be expecting miracles:

How Tracy Beaker will save region

That makes it sound unlikely that Beaker will end up working the streets to support a crack habit, although I'd love to see next year's Sainsburys pencil cases if she did.

Who said "Tucker's Luck"? That kind of unconstructive use of lessons from history isn't helpful, you know. There's every chance that people who are adult will really want to spend time watching a character they liked as a child, and wouldn't view going back to Tracy Beaker like they were being asked to do finger painting at a business meeting; while the kids who identify with the child Tracy Beaker can't wait to watch a programme about trying to make sense of the Job Centre Plus and housing benefit forms.

Somehow, amongst all this, Harmer is going to try and build a pop career that justifies an alleged three million quid investment.

Just one thing, though: isn't she a little old to be the British Miley Cyrus?

[Thanks to @jonnybull for the tip]

We have sympathy for him

We're sat here feeling rotten, so our sympathies for Tom Woodhead are more-than-usually heartfelt: his bad throat led to Forward Russia canceling their Newcastle gig last night. They're hoping to pick up in Liverpool tonight.

Cheryl Cole wants community centres for all

Oddly, none of the national papers picked up Cheryl Cole's remarks about the need for community centres when she helped launch the new KitKat. Luckily, the Newcastle Chronicle was there, too:

The singer said: “Kids have no opportunities in some areas.

“Kids want to be involved in boxing but haven’t got a boxing school nearby, or they’re not privileged and can’t afford £10 a week for boxing or swimming or whatever it is. Every community should have a community centre where kids can do stuff.

“I have actually spoken to people about it, getting somewhere in Newcastle, so instead of hanging around on the streets kids will have somewhere to go.”

Brilliant. So, what are you going to do, Cheryl?

“If and when I do it, I want to be quite hands-on.

“At the moment I’m too busy with the tour.”

Well, never mind. It's the thought that counts.