Bret Michaels: Ooh, spoilers

After all this time, we've finally found that Bret Michaels has won The Celebrity Apprentice, following in the footsteps of Piers Morgan.

It's now, then, been officially confirmed that having something seriously wrong with your brain will make you fit in better with Donald Trump's business style.

That's what I'm talking about

Clearly, HMV have money to burn, as they're investing in those weird advertising screens that Alan Sugar is making his "lucky" Apprentices work on.

Indeed, it was Lee McQueen who "brokered" the deal between HMV and Amscreen. Rumours that the screens will be used to flash up the thoughts of Gennaro Castaldo as soon as they occur could not be confirmed at this time.

Microsoft: Ah, you've got to love them for trying, haven't you

Microsoft haven't quite given up on the Zune yet. Not quite. Look, they've made an advert with someone who got fired on the US Apprentice:



Ah yes. Rather than pay an entirely notional $30,000 to fill up an iPod, instead, make an open-ended commitment to pay Redmond fifteen real bucks a month until they finally get bored pouring millions away each year on the Zune and axe the product. Deal!

[via Engadget]

Gordon in the morning: Heather Mills not Trumped

The story may or may not be true - Heather Mills dumped from the 'celebrity' Apprentice after demanding she be allowed to get to the final - but it does mean that Gordon is able to revist some of Victoria Newton's best work:

Mucca appeared on the US equivalent of Strictly Come Dancing, Dancing With the Stars. But she was booted out after six weeks.

Now, if I remember correctly, Gordon's boss actually insisted that Mills would be "booted out" right at the start, what with how everyone was supposed to hate her. Indeed, staying in for six weeks is pretty good going.

More unlikely tales: Russell Brand to do MTV Awards again next year?. Gordon says yes:

RUSSELL BRAND has been asked to present the MTV Video Music Awards again next year after sending ratings through the roof on Sunday night.

His near-the-knuckle gags were such a success, bosses have been falling over themselves to get him signed up for a second year.

Since it's clear from reading blog reactions that nobody had much of a clue who Brand was before switching on, how exactly would MTV be putting that down the pull of Brand, exactly? (The show did do well in the ratings - 15% up on last year - but you'd have to put that down to the Jonas Brothers and Britney rather than Brand, wouldn't you?)

And even more unlikely tales: Robbie Williams can apparently charm extra-terrestrial creatures:

“I had just finished writing a song called Arizona, which is about alien abduction, when there was this glow. It was magic.”

Was it a UFO, or was it magic? Or does Williams claim that aliens can do magic ("take me to your leader so they can pick a card, any card...")?

Christian charity

MediaGuardian has audio from this morning's Christian O'Connell show where Virgin's breakfast show attempted to punch above its weight when last night's Apprentice firee Simon was late for the interview slot.

We imagine that O'Connell imagined that getting his producer to tell Simon on air he was too late before talking to the show's PR - also on the Mic - was meant to be in some way amusing; trouble is, it backfired terribly.

Had it been one of the more smug Apprentice contestants, closing down the interview might have been funny. But as Simon is incredibly popular, and his reaction to being told he wouldn't be was a good-natured "fair enough, thank you anyway", it just made O'Connell and his team seem incredibly mean spirited.

The berating of press woman Emma, though, was even worse: petulant, self-important bullying:

"We haven't got time now Emma, you've missed your slot. This is Christian live on air. We arranged to do it at five past eight. I've been plugging this show for years. It's late, it's shabby, and Heart are getting it before me. No way. It's over."

If you're going to try and throw your weight about, Christian, you might want to check the your own heft first - the weasly "I've been plugging this show for years" is the sort of line deserving of a boardroom put-down. Where do you really think The Apprentice would be without the endorsement of Virgin's breakfast show? Probably still in the place it's in now, don't you think?

Still, we're sure Heart will be delighted to know they can have a couple of extra minutes with next week's firee.