Vancouver Sun kills Gordon Lightfoot, kills story

The URL seemed quite certain: http://www.vancouversun.com/entertainment/Singer+songwriter+Gordon+Lightfoot+dead/2582222/story.html.

The page, though, seems less sure:

Sorry, this story is not available.

It seems that the paper might have run the Gordon Lightfoot is dead story a little prematurely.

Britney Spears: Put that light out

Britney Spears suspended on-stage activities for half an hour during her Vancouver gig while the audience was asked to stop smoking.

Her body, after all, is a temple.

The Canadian government has announced plans to add a photo of an empty stage and the words 'Smoking can interrupt your Britney Spears gig' as a health warning on packets of fags, although some have warned that might actually increase the number of people smoking ciggies.

No big names interested in joining a Canadian Virgin

Last year's extension of the V Festival brand to include Vancouver looks like being a one-off: plans for a 2008 event have been dropped because the organisers couldn't find any big names interested in playing. Even Jack Johnson said no, although if he'd said yes, they'd have had to try and sell an event where he was the highlight which would have been a working definition of 'a hiding to nothing'.

The Pumpkins in sorrow

Following the death of a man at the Smashing Pumpkins Vancouver date - reports now suggest that he might have been trying to crowd surf - the band have released a brief statement:

"The SMASHING PUMPKINS were deeply saddened to learn about the passing of a young man who attended their Vancouver show Monday night. As they and everyone else await news from the investigation into the nature of his passing, the band want to express their sincerest condolences to his family and friends."

Death at the Pumpkins

Grim news from the Smashing Pumpkins Vancouver date, where a man who was found unconscious in the auditorium before the Corganites came on stage has died in hospital. There's no word yet on what the cause might have been.

Kroeger's witty comeback

You would have thought by now Chad Kroeger must have come up with a standard response to being told that "Nickelback sucks" - obviously, you wouldn't expect him to be honest and say "yes", but even so, "and yet we keep selling records" would be both factually correct and, depending on the tone of voice, be a statement with which everyone can agree.

Kroeger, though, isn't one of the great minds of our time, so it appears that when he was outside a Vancouver nightclub and someone - apparently - yelled "Nicklelback sucks", he punched them instead. It's part of a golden age for the hairy groaner - last month there were reports of a fight with cops at a strip club, and he's still waiting for his day in court for driving while tight. Perhaps if whoever it is buying his records stopped, and cut off his access to royalties, he'd have to stay in, and we'd all be a little safer.