Friday, March 28, 2008

Gordon in the morning: The late Amy Winehouse

There's nothing much in the speculation-stuffed tale of Amy Winehouse turning up late at the prison where Blake is currently languishing Gordon brings us this morning. He notices - although, to be fair a man on the moon with a naked eye would notice - Amy wearing a giant badge with Blake's name on it. Or possibly the other Blake's name on it. Being late, she couldn't go in to see him.

In the paper and on the front of the Bizarre site, the headline is

Heart Blake Hotel

Which makes sense, apart from the hotel bit - which isn't really needed anyway, is it? But if you wanted to use Elvis headlines, given that Amy was refused entry, wouldn't Jailhouse Block have been better?

Lynsey Haywood contributes the surprising news that Pete Doherty has turned to Scientology. Well, not quite, she admits deeper into the story - he's hanging around with a scientologist, Nadine Ruddy and:
has bought a pile of books on the subject since meeting Scientologist DJ NADINE RUDDY.

And he has been leaving his Wiltshire mansion to stay at her home in Reading, Berks, at least once a week.

Which isn't quite the same thing as starting to work your way towards becoming a level three thetan or whatever it is. Still, let's keep a close eye to see if the next album is called Down In Xenu or something.

Eleswhere in The Sun, the paper calls for something to be done about heavy drinking:
Home Secretary Jacqui Smith promised last month to punish the parents of kids caught boozing.

Excellent. Let’s see a flood of prosecutions without delay. You could haul culprits from their beds every night in every town in Britain.

Or, like the heralded binge-drinking crackdown mysteriously overlooked in the Budget, is it all just talk?

Youngsters getting drunk, it turns out, is the fault of "liberal attitudes". And not, say, the attitude fostered by articles in a certain newspaper column we could mention which glorifies the idea of getting incapable and treats drunkeness as a big giggle, like, for example:
Pop babes are the No1 caners

last Friday, or when Gordon gives an award to the most-frequently drunk:
KATE MOSS and KELLY OSBOURNE have launched a commendable double-pronged attack to land my Caner Of The Year award.

Or when Gordon praises Adele for necking as much free booze as she can:
I think Adele is a cracker. And she’s bound to be up for a right tear-up at the UK’s biggest music awards.

At the bash on Tuesday loads of perfectly groomed fashion people strutted their funky stuff around the chocolate treat-laden table.

But Adele was more interested in finding somewhere to line up her free beverages. Good girl.

With a bit of chocolate stuck to her forehead, she cheerily added: “I’ve been loving all of the parties recently – so much free booze.”

Forget Chasing Pavements Adele, you could start chasing after my Caner Of The Year gong at this rate.

It's fine for the Sun to call for young people to be set a good example. They might want to start by putting their own house in order first.