Sunday, April 12, 2009

Woot-ton: You leave Matthew alone, you hear?

Dan Wootton talks up the "stalker" who has been, apparently, making Matthew Horne's life a misery"

COMEDY king MATHEW HORNE has been living in fear after being targeted by a crazed STALKER.

Living in fear, eh?
Mat, 30, endured months of misery, but he admitted: "It's kind of dealt with now."

Yes. That sounds like a man coming out of a living nightmare.

Of course, nobody wants to be stalked, but since stalkers like to feel they've made an impact on their victims lives, isn't over-writing the extent of their influence effectively helping them in their aims?
The woman had been stalking him and had even discovered his top-secret home address causing the police to step in.

That is quite scary. She knew where he lived, you say, Dan?
My source added: "Mat often feels very exposed because diehard fans try to follow him when he leaves the theatre.

"But this one took it too far and there was a real concern that she had discovered his home address. That's when he knew he had to call in the big boys to deal with it."

Ah. So they don't actually know that she knew where he lived, then?

Still, as Wootton helpfully points out, having someone know where he lives is the least of his troubles:
Mat has really been feeling the rougher side of fame recently. He's had to put up with some unfair reviews for his film Lesbian Vampire Killers and TV sketch show with pal JAMES CORDEN.

Unfair reviews? A unfair review would be "compared to The World At War, Lesbian Vampire Killers fails to explain the causes and consequences of the Second World War with any degree of insight or clarity." Reviewing Corner And Horde and saying "it's not very funny and the punchline seems to be that the bigger one is fat. Every time." might not be generous, but is hardly unfair.