Aretha Franklin: Burger queen

Aretha Franklin ordered takeout from a Johnny Rockets. She then sat down to eat it inside the restaurant, whereupon a staff member tried to explain the concept of takeaway.

Now, obviously, it's Aretha Franklin, but that didn't buy her any favours:

The spokesman says Franklin ordered a hamburger after performing a sold-out show. But he says the server screamed at Franklin, saying she couldn't sit down to eat because she ordered takeout.

Franklin says in a statement that the worker was "very rude, unprofessional and nasty."

Of course, releasing a statement about getting some subpar service in a minimum-wage establishment is in no way rude, unprofessional or nasty.

But Rockets, naturally, has caved and has kicked its own staff:

A Johnny Rockets spokeswoman says the franchise owner is sorry for the actions of "a new and very young employee."

She says the owner has spoken with the employee and has clarified his takeout policies.

The clarification is "don't pick a fight with someone who looks like they might have their own PR team and nothing much to promote right now."

Aretha Franklin unravels her illness

Maybe it's just me, but I'm finding something a bit unsettling about Aretha Franklin's slow reveal of the details of her medical condition:

Music legend Aretha Franklin tells a national publication that she soon will reveal what prompted her recent surgery at a Detroit hospital.

Aretha, you don't have to tell us. If you want to tell us, fine. Just don't turn it into a freaking striptease.

What do we get in eight weeks? "My first is in throat, but not in groat..."?

Mind you, she does seem to be on strong painkillers:

Franklin told Jet magazine that friends know she is "a lot more than the girl in the pink Cadillac on the Freeway of Love who also sings about Respect" and that they have prayed for her "without ceasing."

She does seem to have abandoned talking for just stringing together songtitles, although the crowbaring in of one of the better songs at the end suggests she isn't entirely adept at it yet.

Aretha: Titfer ye lots

I'm not entirely sure this isn't a story that has been doing the rounds for a while, but Aretha Franklin's inauguration hat is selling by the bucketload. Which is appropriate, since it looked it a little like a bucket, only with a big bow on.

The hat that is being sold isn't actually the same hat, because like the Mastermind chair they didn't want to turn it into a commercial item. But the designer Luke Song has made a hat quite a lot like Aretha's, which seems to be a questionable workaround - "it would be tacky to sell hats that were like Aretha's, so we'll only sells hates that are a bit like Aretha's instead." It neither preserves the uniqueness of the actual hat, nor satisfies the desires of those who wish to own one.

All she's asking for is a little respect

Aretha Franklin is reportedly unhappy with Beyonce. Beyo introduced Tina Turner at The Grammys as "the Queen of Soul". Reet was not happy:

"I am not sure of whose toes I may have stepped on or whose ego I may have bruised between the Grammy writers and Beyonce."

Aretha, don't confuse ignorance and a lack of history with a deliberate snub.

Raw material lined up for next 'bad duet' poll

No sooner does Bono have his man issue a denial of the 'working with the Spice Girls' rumour, does the prospect of Christina Aguilera working with Aretha Franklin rear its not-entirely-attractive head.

Aretha can't stand heat; gets out of the, erm, Ampitheatre

Aretha Franklin's hometown gig in Detroit is the latest victim of global warming, as she pulls the daye on Weather Channel advice:

"Following the Weather Channel and the daily reports in the news via television and newspaper publications, I see that the temperatures in Detroit have been very similar," she said in the statement. "I am exhausted from the heat and cannot tolerate heat in these extremely high numbers and being in concert simultaneously."

Ironic footnote: The venue she was due to play is sponsored by DTE Energy, currently being accused of being a major polluter in Canada and was involved in lobbying to reduce the effectiveness of clean air legislation. Maybe if Aretha wants to have a cooler time onstage, she should choose venues which don't encourage the sort of environmental damage which is making it so damn hot.

Come and get some in Aretha's kitchen

Aretha Franklin is planning to do her bit for deprived kids by launching, erm, a summer camp:

"What I wanna do is have something called Camp Aretha or Camp Ree-Ree for inner-city children of a certain grade point average to come out and take classes in different things.

"Classes in cooking, classes in engineering, classes in how to do a lot of things."

Why do we get the impression this idea might not be totally thought through?

Rae no Reet

Corinne Bailey Rae was being lined up to play Aretha Franklin in a biopic. That was until, erm, Franklin saw her perform:

Yeah, I just saw Corinne. I thought she was very nice - she's a very nice singer.

"I almost cast her as one of the characters in my play and in the movie, but when I saw her on TV... well, her pictures look one way and when I saw her on TV she looked a little different so I don't think so."

We could have saved you the time, you know, Aretha. We think the word you're looking for is "wan". Or maybe the phrase "nice to the point of inoffensive non-existence."

Franklin less than frank

They're having trouble getting Aretha Franklin to talk about the fire in her house - even though she's not suspected of doing anything wrong. An investigation into the razing of her USD1.6m home found that accelerant had been used in three places in the building. They're now having to subpoeana reet to get her to talk.