Gordon in the morning: George Sampson shows his working

It's not the first time that George Sampson has complained about his manager in the press, but today's story in Bizarre is a little more interesting, as Sampson shows his working:

The wee fella admitted: "Things aren't going so well with me and Simon. I suppose he's realised he can make more money out of other people. But I thought we were tight. I had one of the best-selling DVDs at the start of the year. We sold loads of copies.

"But I've just found out that Simon's company takes ninety per cent of the revenue. I get ten per cent. But I have to pay the production costs out of that. So I ended up owing them money.

"I'm not quite sure how it all works but that can't be fair, can it?"

Quite brave of Gordon to run a story suggesting that Cowell is ripping off the "lucky" winners of his freaktalent shows with unfair contracts while The X Factor is on. After all, Gordon, you need to stay on Syco's good side as much as Sampson does - clearly you do, otherwise you wouldn't be running those gnatweak JLS stories all the time.

Perhaps that's why, rather than doing what a journalist might do, and asking Syco for their response to Sampson's claims, Gordon starts to suggest that, you know, maybe it's all George's fault:

It sounds like a harsh lesson in showbiz economics to me. I wonder if George read the small print on the contract.

"... and, hey, a lesson like that? Cowell should actually charge him fifteen grand extra for the business studies tuition."

Then, Gordon starts to sound a little like a hired goon:

But one word of advice pal - don't make an enemy of Simon.

You need him more than he needs you.

The subs removed the line "Be a pity if you couldn't dance because of broken legs, nowharrimean, son?"

Still, it's not all looking black for Sampson:

Hopefully George can turn it around with his new movie about his life.

Yes. I'm sure they'll be queuing around the block for that one.

And, I know you'll have been unable to sleep waiting for the result of Gordon's some sort of poll about Oasis. He's counted the results:

An incredible 88 per cent of you voted in favour of NOEL, which bodes well for his future solo career.

Well, let's face it, the sales of Tailgunner had already told us that, hadn't it?

Gordon's right, though, the figures are incredible. Incredible that anyone voted at all.

Gordon in the morning: Not a Lott to add

How are the attempts to get people to head off to the newsagent to buy a proper, paper product going over at Bizarre? Today they make a good effort, only it's FHM they're promoting.

Or rather not promoting, as they run a couple of shots from the hugely uncomfortable Pixie Lott photoshoot from this month's magazine, which couldn't look any more awkward and intrusive if the pictures had got into the paper after someone stole her boyfriend's cameraphone.

Marcus Barnes takes responsibility for turning "here are some pictures that are in a different company's magazine" into the sort of showbiz coverage that the Murdochs think they can charge for:

The chart-topping blonde, 18, shows off her perfect pins while posing in tiny shorts and a skimpy top in a long-awaited spread for lads' mag FHM.

Ah, yes. There's the value added - they've not just printed FHM's pictures, Marcus has described them as well. They have colleges which teach this sort of thing.

There's also one of the most horrible usability fudges I've seen on a professional website for a while:

For a chance to win an exclusive chance to accompany the sexy Mama Do singer all the way to Germany for her European album launch party - click on the top Related Story to the right of this article.

... and then say "Pixielott" three times, backwards. Perhaps the idea is that finding the link is the competition, like a clunky HTML version of Masquerade. Or maybe nobody left at The Sun knows how to make a link without their CMS doing it for them.

Gordon, meanwhile, is left to concentrate on the big story: George Sampson being evicted after playing show tunes too loud, too often.
Still, it shouldn't worry a high-roller like George, right? He's got options.

While his mum Lesley searches for a house for them, she and George are holed up in an Ibis hotel in town.

Oh. Oh, dear.

Gordon in the morning: George Sampson can never go home

Having slagged off Simon Cowell in the press, George Sampson has now turned his attention to his hometown, as Gordon reports this morning:

He told me: "I'm getting complaints at the moment about not getting back to my roots. I've not been back to Warrington in months.

"Why would I want to go there? It's boring, there's nothing to do. It's like a ghost town.

"All people do there is hang around outside shops."

Unlike elsewhere, where teenagers fly about on spacescooters having special-touching parties.

I guess that, compared with Skins, Warrington might look a little pedestrian. But Imperial Phase Rome looks a little pedestrian compared with Warrington.

But if Sampson thinks it's dull right now, he should have seen it before Eileen Bilton worked her magic.

So, how is George's ahem career coming on? Apparently, he's tiring of life on the stage:

George - in London to launch new toy Battle Strikers this week - has signed up for his first major role in 3D film Street Dance, due out in 2010.

Yes, yes, he was launching a toy. You can see why after attending the launch of some plastic kids toys, Warrington must seem so quiet.

Anyway, George, tell us about this film. Street Dance, eh? What's that about, then?

He said: "It's all about street dancers. I play a character called Eddie.

"I like acting. It's a real challenge. I'd like to do it full-time. I like film and TV more than stage."

Ah yes. Playing a dancing bloke. That must be a real stretch for your acting talents.

There doesn't seem to be any reason at all for the Michael Jackson and "his" children at home video. Surely, Gordon, there must be some reason for this invasion into the privacy of children at such a raw time in their lives - especially one which appears under your byline?

The intimate home video gives a moving insight into the King of Pop as a parent to son Prince Michael, 12, and daughter Paris, 11, at his Neverland Ranch in California.

Um... no, don't think that quite justifies the invasion of privacy. Do you want to try again?

The video, available exclusively here on The Sun website, is a reminder of how close the star was to his young family.

Again, Gordon, that doesn't seem to be a reason for publishing a private video of the kids. Perhaps the explanation of why it was okay to ignore the Press Complaints Commission rules on children fell off the article?

George Sampson's mum "tidies up"

Lesley Sampson - mother of George Sampson, of course - has been charged with flytipping after, it is alleged, she dumped sixteen bags of his fanmail outside his house.

Lesley has denied the charge; the case has been adjourned.

George Sampson torpedoes what's left of his career

It's probably not fair to be too hard on a fifteen year-old, but you might think that George Sampson might have counted to ten before moaning about Simon Cowell's "management" of his "career" to the Sunday People:

The cheeky teenager told me he has no contact with the showbiz mogul, 49, adding: "I don't know how Simon is because I never see him or hear from him.

"He is supposed to be my manager but he is never around.

"If he's not in America doing American Idol, he is doing The X Factor and if he's not doing that then he is in bl***y Barbados."

Wise to censor the word "bloody", lest it offends any under-sixteen year-olds. Apart from the under-sixteen year-old who said it.

George seems not to have concluded that, just perhaps, Cowell might have concluded that 'bloke who does some dancing whose cute-value is being eroded by the onward march of puberty' is a proposition whose time has passed and bitching in the Sunday prints might not be the best way to reopen negotiations about securing future work.

Gordon in the morning: The return of Victoria Newton

Bizarre has a big, exclusive interview this morning - a proper one, not just something that Gordon has found in his subscription to Total Guitar magazine. Lily Allen's come in to have a chat. It must be pretty exciting for Gordon.

Hang on a moment, though: What's this half-forgotten byline from the past?

Guys are really nice when we split up now so they don't end up in a song...

By VICTORIA NEWTON

Yes, Victoria's back on the Bizarre beat. It's unclear if this clattering down to the shopfloor was inspired by Rebekah Wade's wistful comments about Tesco executives working the checkouts, or if Lily's team would only speak to the Sun if they got Newton's special treatment. Perhaps Gordon was elsewhere, presenting Kasabian with an award so they can run the pictures next Christmas.

Still, it's been so long since Victoria was doing front-line reporting - would she still have the skill?

Oh, yes. All the Victoria trademarks are there.

Filling up space by quoting massive chunks of supposedly appropriate lyrics?

Her new album features a track called Not Fair, in which she refers to an ex being rubbish between the sheets.

She sings: “There’s just one thing that’s getting in the way/When we go up to bed you’re just no good/It’s such a shame/I look into your eyes, I want to get to know you/And then you make this noise and it’s apparent it’s all over.”

So it comes as no surprise that these days Lily’s boyfriends are careful how they treat her.

Check.

Filling more space by having the "boffins" rustle up a meaningless chart or graphic?

LILI ... the Lily In Love Index

Check.

Some searing political debate?

And she admits that if she were stuck on a desert island and had to choose between the only two men on there — PM GORDON BROWN or Tory leader DAVID CAMERON — it would have to be the Prime Minister.

She says: “I like Gordon Brown actually. Gordon or Cameron? I’d say Gordon.”

Check.

A confusion of being stick-thin with being healthy?

I caught up with Lily backstage at a warm-up gig to promote it and she was chirpier, brighter and certainly much thinner than I’ve seen her for a while.

Ah, Victoria, how we've missed you.

But, hey, don't think that Gordon was sat in the office while Newton swans in and takes the big interview for herself. Oh, no. Gordon was rubbing shoulders with the stars, too:

GEORGE SAMPSON has had the kind of night I expect of a Britain’s Got Talent Winner.

My pal spent Tuesday charming lovely LADY GAGA and PARIS HILTON.

Wouldn't you really expect the winner of New New Faces to be spending the evening waiting for the Red Coat to introduce him in the Miami Lounge while wondering if he'd not have been better off keeping the paper round?

Gordon writes a "hilarious" open letter for Sampson's teachers "explaining" what George's behaviour during the evening at some sort of mobile phone launch:

I’ve slapped his wrists and warned him that if it happens again I will confiscate his favourite cap.

It's probably best if you don't think about this too much.

Gordon in the morning: Dancing days

The front of Bizarre has a link to a story about George Sampson with the somewhat alarming headline:

Uncle Sampson woos George

It turns out that this isn't anything to do with ill-advised interfamily relations, but the news that there's a vague possibility that the musical Sampson is in might transfer to America. Hence Uncle Sam-pson.

Although there's nothing more than a vague possibility and an off-the-record claim that there are talks about transferring, Gordon has somehow crunched the numbers already:

It could earn the fleet-footed fella £250,000.

It could also earn him £7.50, or three squibillion pounds, or a six year spell in a Soviet-era gulag.

Gordon likes George, though. We think:

But George is a great lad who deserves his success. It’s nice to see all the fame and female fans going to a lad who is shy, humble and ego-free. For now.

The surprising emphasis was Smart's. Perhaps he just can't imaging that when Sampson is picking up a made-up half a million quid he'll be able to keep his feet on the ground.

Whatever did happen to Paul Potts?

Elsewhere, the story about David Walliams doesn't really need any commentary:

THIS picture will send Bizarre’s DAVID WALLIAMS gay-o-meter pinker than JORDAN’s wedding.

The Little Britain comic managed to wear men’s clothes for dinner with TV presenter DALE WINTON and actress BARBARA WINDSOR.

But he couldn’t have looked much more feminine as he planted a tender kiss on camp Dale’s cheek.

I hear David enjoyed his meal at London’s posh Scott’s restaurant – candy floss and a pink salmon salad.