That nice Gary Barlow has all our money

Ah, Gary Barlow. Isn't he lovely? Isn't he a lovely, lovely man? Isn't he just lovely, lovely, willing to help everyone?

Except when he, Howard Donald, Mark Owen and That manager Jonathan Wild are avoiding £20million worth of tax.

But he's lovely, isn't he?

In the past he has been praised for raising millions for charity in the UK.

Barlow’s fundraising efforts for BBC Children in Need included concerts with star names playing for free. In 2013 they raised over £1.7 million and were described by the BBC as “amazing”.

You see? He's lovely. Happy to help society by getting other people to give their money to try and patch up the holes created by people like him failing to fulfil their responsibilities. He's not a monster.

Lovely, lovely, Gary Barlow OBE.

Jason Orange hasn't avoided tax, although HMRC report that Gary Barlow's insistence that Orange is paid solely in mangelwurzels and turnips has always made it difficult to fix a rate at which he should be charged. Tax records show in 2012/13, Orange received a small tax refund in the form of three parsnips.

Gordon in the morning: Mr Roarke! The plane, the plane!

Howard Donald has bought a seaplane, although he can't fly.

Yes, a seaplane. This might show that Donald has more money than sense, although you can't help feeling that might have been the case ever since his parents doubled his pocket money to 80p a week.

The Sun has a photo:

Just so you're clear, though:

Flight of fanciable ... how hunky Howard Donald may look in plane. We've added TT livery

Yes, it's another fabulous Sun mock-up.

Howard's plane story is filed by Colin Robertson, raising the intriguing possibility that Gordon might be down on Worthy Farm. Gordon has a suggestion about Glastonbury, too:

Glastonbury punters, and folk watching on the telly, can find out who's playing on what stage by downloading my Bizarre App, which features a special festival guide. The app is free for 30 days, then just £1.19 a month.

Righto - so, if you're at the festival, you might want to navigate round with an app designed to alert you to when Lindsay Lohan has filmed a commercial or Katy Perry has had a nipslip. If you're at home, you... er, would want to know who is on what stage when to... um, help with watching TV where the coverage is mostly recorded and not reliant on stages to navigate. £1.19 well spent.

Gordon in the morning: Take That at the airport

It happens a lot in airports, and the more you travel, the more likely is that it'll happen to you, sooner or later. An immigration officer thinks there's something odd about your paperwork, and gives you a bit of a closer questioning.

That's all that seems to have happened to Howard Donald and Mark Owen when LA immigration sought confirmation that the pair were there for leisure and not work.

To The Sun, though, this is:

Take That stars in US customs shock

Apart from this not being a shock, how shoddy is reporting that doesn't know the difference between customs and immigration? Clearly, this piece must have been filed by some greenhorn reporters who aren't that worldly.

By PETE SAMSON, US Editor, and GORDON SMART, Showbiz Editor

Yes, it turns out that Pete and Gordon have collaborated on this. There's nothing in the story at all - just an everyday, but irritating, occurrence. It's like running a story about there not being any chocolate powder when someone tries to buy a cappuccino.

I wonder what Gordon actually contributed to this story to get a joint by-line? My guess is this bit:

Bandmates GARY BARLOW and JASON ORANGE, both 40, were not on the trip.

Also not on the plane: Lulu; any of Westlife; ex-King Constantine of Greece. The passenger manifest can confirm this.

Gordon in the morning: Revelations

There were two big revelations yesterday, of course. Gordon has a little opinion box to mark the engagement of The Beatles and iTunes:

Love, Love Me Dough

You think that's bad? The main piece is headlined Lucy In The iTunes Worth Diamonds.

I'VE done a bit of maths today. If you bought every Beatles album, on every format ever released PLUS the latest remastered versions, you would be more broke than Ireland.

Why would you, though? That's like saying if you bought every can of Baked Beans that Heinz ever made, you'd need a big trolley.

I like the idea of Gordon doing maths to work out that it would be expensive to buy the complete run of albums in numerous instances, though. I'm picturing him, tongue stuck out the side of his mouth, carrying a three here, multiplying by inflation there.

Still, nice reference to the grown-up news.

But, yes, Gordon is actually being cynical about the news:

So thank God (who isn't as big as the Fab Four) the back catalogue is now available on iTunes. It means every true Beatles fan will be able to own the same material yet again.

Everyone seems to be getting excited about the news, but it feels at least five years too late to me.

Well done, Gordon. You're right. It's not a major news story, and certainly not one that should be met with over-excited applause. Thank God you're the editor of the Sun's showbiz section - you can treat this story with the down-page cool treatment it actually merits.

Or you could splash it right at the top of the page. Your call.

In other news, Howard Donald's superinjunction has been lifted, which is not interesting because of his affair, but because it's another example of superinjunctions being used for vanity rather than any real purpose. Coming a couple of days after a valid use of the blanket ban on even mentioning the blanket ban - giving the chance of negotiations with Somali pirates in private - it's clear that this sort of tittle-blocking use of injunctions is bringing the measure into total disrepute. Donald should be ashamed for even trying to pull one.

Take That upset the MAD

Howard Donald's fairly balanced suggestion that the legal provision of mild cannabis would be more beneficial than the availability of strong alcohol has created a storm of squawking from anti-drug campaigners.

Donald observed:

"Cannabis should be legalised. I know it's a touchy subject. But if more people went out stoned than drunk - which a lot of people are on the weekend - I think there would be less fighting, less trouble and less violence."

Which, you'd think, would be an interesting viewpoint to engage with.

Not, of course, for Mothers Against Drugs:

Spokeswoman Gail MCCann says, "Anyone who tells you cannabis is perfectly safe is talking rubbish. It can cause psychosis and paranoia.

"I'd like Take That to see the work we do and ask if they'd like to donate some of the millions they earn to drug treatment."

But Donald didn't say that cannabis is perfectly safe - he said that having legally available cannabis might lead to less alcohol-fuelled violence on British streets. Which is, of course, a totally different proposition.

Donald ducks off

Surprisingly, despite the absence of Howard Donald, you could barely spot the difference in Take That's Vienna gig.

Donald has sustained a chest injury onstage - presumably the choreography was designed to show off his heavy lifting skills - and was in hospital while the others went on with the show:

"I've never had to miss a show before, it's unbelievably frustrating being sat in a hospital when I should be on stage with the guys."

... while desperately hoping that they wouldn't fail to notice his absence.

Howard won't stand by himself

We're amused by the idea of Howard Donald ruling out a Robbie Williams style solo career:

“I could never do what Rob has done and get up there on stage by myself.

“I’d be terrified. I’m nervous enough as it is with the other lads around me.

“The idea of going solo fills me with dread — that’s why I never really had a solo career when Take That split up."

Now, we could have sworn the reason Howard never "really" had a solo career after the That went down was more because nobody was interested in the prospect. Or perhaps that's what Howard was frightened by.

Robbie Williams is not without his supporters

After they failed to even mumble a "get well soon, Robbie" at the Brit awards, some people suggested that maybe Take That were some sort of evil, uncaring bastards who spend their evenings laughing at the plight of poor Robbie.

The next day, Jason Orange stepped in to explain why they kept quiet onstage:

"We didn't thank Robbie because it is about his private situation. It's not for us to comment. He's going through a personal problem and we wish him the best - we love him."

It turns out, though, that a private situation means "one which can be freely discussed in the pages of Reveal magazine", as Mark and Howard have given an interview commenting on Robbie's medical treatment:

Mark Owen said: "I'm so worried about him. I'm gutted and devastated things have ended up like this. I think he should come back to the UK."

And fellow pop star Howard Donald said in the interview with Reveal magazine: "I've been calling him loads.

"I'm upset some people think it's our success that's made him depressed."

Mark's depressed; Howard's depressed. It's one long circle of misery, isn't it? Clearly, Take That's bounce into having to talk to the press about how they're, whatever, upset about thingy they used to work with being in some sort of hospital is a postmodern joke based on the film about The Queen, and how she was forced to pretend that she was really sad that her husband had killed her former daughter-in-law, or whatever conspiracy about Diana we're meant to be believing this week.

Owen's also upset at some of the jokes being made at Robbie's expense:

Owen also said comments about Williams at the Brits from host Russell Brand and Oasis star Noel Gallagher were uncalled for.

"I felt bad at the Brits because there were some jokes said about Robbie that made it look like he was being mocked," he told the magazine.

It didn't just look like it, Mark. Pretty much, yeah, he was being mocked.