Von Trapps think NBC have a problem, don't like Maria

The other night, NBC did a three-hour live production of the Sound Of Music. It was something of an oddity for NBC in lots of ways - a three hour programme; a live musical in prime time; a programme that people actually watched.

There's sourness, though, as some of the Von Trapp family are bitching over the casting of Carrie Underwood as Maria. It's fair to say nobody has looked at Maria this angrily since Elsa Schräder saw her come back from the abbey.

“I found the overall production to be completely underwhelming and mediocre at best,” blogged Francois von Trapp. “I kept wondering why NBC would settle for a community theater quality production.”

Francois, a University of New Hampshire grad, is the daughter of Trapp Family Singers’ Rupert von Trapp, who was portrayed as Friedrich in “The Sound of Music.” She took to her blog over the weekend to defend her criticism of Underwood’s performance.

“I have nothing against her personally,” she said. “She’s an extremely tal­ented country singer, but I’m pretty sure my father is repeatedly rolling over in his grave.”

'Yeah, I did that thing where you balance a glass of water on the headstone, and it was definitely wobbling, so he was turning in his grave. Or maybe it was nearby fracking.'

It turns out the Von Trapps had their own proposal for how you might solve a problem like casting Maria:

Francois’ nephew, Myles von Trapp Derbyshire, added that Underwood didn’t have the “acting experience” to pull off the role. “Although her voice is amazing,” he added.

Myles told ABC the von Trapps, who turned their homestead in Stowe, Vt., into a family-run 3A-star resort, got together and decided who they would have cast as the singing ex-nun: “Les Miserables” star Anne Hathaway.

Yeah, we'd all rather have Anne Hathaway as our grandma, Myles.

Spotify to try TV advertising

In a bid to become the Kings And Queens of music streaming, Spotify are taking to the TV to advertise their wares.

Oddly, it seems Spotify have chosen an expensive, lush, produced advert, which compares strangely with the bursty, shouty adverts they host on their own service. Almost like they don't really think that approach would be very effective.

The advert is going to be flung onto The Voice, prime-time on NBC. So not really being targeted at anyone who cares about music.

Hope they save the kittens from dying before I get old

As the Olympic closing ceremony limped on, NBC got bored and shoved on a comedy about sick and injured animals instead:

Now NBC is trying to explain its actions. An NBC spokesperson announced today that “As we previously announced, a special commercial free preview of ‘Animal Practice’ was scheduled towards the end of last night’s broadcast of the Olympics Closing Ceremony. Prior to the break, viewers were informed that the final act and wrap up of the Closing Ceremony would follow later that evening. “

To be fair, I suspect there must have been a few people at the BBC wondering if they should have just lobbed out Live At The Apollo in the slot it had been scheduled for...

MIA will personally pay to keep story alive

Just as the world was starting to go 'actually, it was just a quick flip of the bird', there's been an attempt to try and keep the story going by the revelation that MIA might be personally liable:

According to TMZ however, MIA signed a contract with the NFL pledging to compensate the league for any fine imposed by the Federal Communications Commission (FCC).

It is claimed that in ensuring MIA signed the agreement, the NFL hopes to dissuade future performers from similar acts in the future.

The NFL apparently signed a similar deal with NBC. The idea being that NBC pay the fine, claim it back from NFL, who then try to get the money back from MIA.

This does all rather presuppose that (a) any of these agreements actually took place and can be upheld and (b) there is any fine anyway.

Still, at least one good thing has come out of it all: Madonna apparently has the hump:

"Madonna wasn't impressed. She prides herself on professionalism. MIA did nothing similar in rehearsals," a source told the publication.

"Nobody knew she was going to pull this stunt. Madonna wanted to put on a world-beating performance. But everyone ended up talking about this girl's middle finger."

I think the medical term for this 'upstageditis'.

More on Mills...

Heather is currently on NBC, complaining about the way the media rips into people's reputations while - simultaneously - suggesting that Paul McCartney is a bit mean when it comes to his charitable donations and hasn't done enough to protect her from the beastly press.

Meanwhile, does Mills really think that You Care is the best way to air her grievances against The Sun? It's somewhat histrionic, calling the paper "the so-called Sun", as if - amongst the real problems with some of its content - it's somehow passing itself off as a giant fireball at the heart of a solar system.

It's been put together by Mills' sister, and finds time to buff Heather's halo a little on the way:

It is high time we took a stance and made a decision not to accept modern day stoning of anybody, never mind someone that has only tried to help the lives of animals and men, women and children for the last 17 years.

More to the point, if you're claiming the moral high ground and calling for unbiased reporting, shouldn't you at least mention that The Sun has apologised for its coverage of the Hillsborough deaths? You may wish to add you feel it was an economically-motivated apology, you might also choose to say it was too little, too late. But not even mentioning it might look a little like... oh, could it be misrepresentation?

NBC admits: Hulu is designed to gouge cash from viewers

It's always been hanging in the air, of course, but as NBC/Fox's Hulu service finally dribbles into private beta mode, it's refreshing to see a senior NBC executive admit that the whole point of Hulu is to do little more than to try and extract more money from consumers.

The network's Chief Executive Jeff Zucker told a breakfast meeting:

that it was “a relatively easy decision” for NBC to walk away from the Apple download service because it had only earned about $15 million from the service last year in spite of accounting for about 40 per cent of the videos sold on the store.

He said NBC routinely propositioned Apple to breach its standard pricing model and experiment with higher pricing for one hit show such as “Heroes” by raising the price from the iTunes standard $1.99 to $2.99 on a trial basis.

“We wanted to take one show, it didn’t matter which one it was, and experiment and sell it for $2.99,” he said. “We made that offer for months and they said no.”

In other words: the only reason why Hulu exists is because NBC doesn't like you getting your video for a a price it can't dictate. $2.99 isn't a pricepoint that would be achieved in a free market; NBC is trying to create a monopoly. And for that reason alone, we should all hope Hulu flops.

The Boss versus The President

Bruce Springsteen used an appearance on NBC yesterday morning to throw a little White House baiting onto the networks:

“This is a song called Livin’ In the Future. But it’s really about what’s happening now. Right now. It’s kind of about how the things we love about America, cheeseburgers, French fries, the Yankees battlin’ Boston… the Bill of Rights [holds up microphone, urging crowd to cheer] … v-twin motorcycles… Tim Russert’s haircut, trans-fats and the Jersey Shore… we love those things the way womenfolk love Matt Lauer.

But over the past six years we’ve had to add to the American picture: rendition, illegal wiretapping, voter suppression, no habeus corpus, the neglect of our great city New Orleans and its people, an attack on the Constitution. And the loss of our young best men and women in a tragic war."

When Fox claims that the US media is a liberal playground, you have to think how unusual something like this happening on television is to realise how paranoid they are.

Trouble is, Bush would have been too busy whooping to have heard the second half, but at least it's not Bono.

NBC-Universal walk from iTunes

NBC has decided to withdraw its amusing programmes and movies from the iTunes Music store, following Apple's refusal to allow "bundling" of downloads.

NBC believes that customers want to be "allowed" to buy packages of things they want with stuff they wouldn't bother with in a million years.

Apple believes customers want to just pay for and get what they want.

NBC, it should be noted, also believed that people wanted to watch a programme about Victoria Beckham.

It's possible, of course, that the NBC move is related to its sister record label's continuing sulk about the iTunes Music Store, and this is meant to be some sort of dire warning to Steve Jobs about what the future might hold.

People can't bear to look

Well, we suppose that seeing as nobody liked it much, it's probably a good thing that Victoria Beckham's Coming To America didn't attract many viewers. It hit 4.9 million, trailing a rerun of Wife Swap and - oh, the humanity - CBS sitcoms. And nobody watches CBS sitcoms.

[First night: Beckham Coming To America]

First night: Victoria Beckham in America

It was meant to be a series, launching her 'career' in America. Then it was downgraded to a single special, and given the title Coming To America. Even before she attempted a high-profile feud with Eddie Murphy, the choice of sharing the title of his film about a rich but naive figure bumbling their way through a world in which they can't coast on fame alone was a suggestion that NBC were setting her up for a fall.

And fall she did. Before transmission, the Searttle Post-Intelligencer sounded upbeat:

Tonight, NBC will air Victoria Beckham: Coming to America (8pm ET/PT), a behind-the-scenes look at Posh Spice's move from England to Los Angeles. She'll go house-shopping, hang out with friends, and give interested Americans a sense of who exactly these Beckhams are. Despite their name recognition, the essence of the Beckhams is still a mystery to most of us here. After watching some of the leaked segments from tonight's special, I think viewers are going to be delighted by what Victoria Beckham brings to the table. She has more personality than a thousand Paris Hiltons.

And after the programme, E!Online managed a kind word, but I suspect that Beckham might be less than thrilled at their tone:

Granted, it was a carefully planned and manipulated peek into her life, but I found it hysterical none the less. I mean, who wears heels and makeup to tan by the pool? I had many favorite moments from Posh’s hour-long special. I loved watching her get glam for her driver’s license photo, and proceeding to ask about retouches. It was funny when her new assistant told her that David’s “not ugly.” I love that after she was pulled over, she was more concerned with her footwear than her driving. It was hilarious when she dressed a blow-up doll to fool the paparazzi. It was also fun to watch her confront Perez Hilton, who felt her chest in the middle of a coffee shop.

That's going to be a hard "they're laughing with you" spin for Mr. Fuller.
Rotophonic didn't even enjoy laughing at her, calling the programme a "trainwreck":

Having to restage the show from six half-hours down to one hour must have been challenging for the 20 editors and AE’s assigned to this project, but thank heavens someone at the network caught a look at one of the dailies and sought to minimize the misery for the audience, while still giving the Beckhams their big appearance on American TV. Even the staged vignettes throughout this painful hour were so obvious that I had to force my wife to continue to watch. Reality editing lesson one: if the subject is being shot at dusk, don’t cutaway to a reaction shot in broad daylight. Sorry Tommy Lasorda.

The New York Times is simply puzzled:

There must be a reason NBC chose to lavish an hour of prime time tonight on “Victoria Beckham: Coming to America.”

But conspiracy theorists will be hard put to connect the dots. It’s not clear what links Philip F. Anschutz, the billionaire who agreed to pay David Beckham $27.5 million over five years to play for his soccer team, the Los Angeles Galaxy, to General Electric, the conglomerate that owns NBC. At first Google-glance, there appears to be little overlap between the corporations. If anything, their film divisions are competitors.

It could be a plot by the Trilateral Commission and Opus Dei, though some paranoids may prefer to point a finger at the Church of Scientology because the Beckhams, Victoria and David, are new best friends and neighbors of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. That’s just plain silly. Mr. Cruise has been on chilly terms with NBC ever since he excoriated psychiatry and Brooke Shields’s postpartum depression on that network’s “Today” program.

Unless, of course, the Beckham special is Mr. Cruise’s well-plotted revenge on the network.

The New York Daily News was also puzzled, as to how anyone could be so dull as to not rise to the challenge of US summer television:

The petite Brit known internationally as Posh Spice stars in an hour-long show (tomorrow night at 8 on NBC) that seems squished together from ages of tape. Rumor has it that Posh wasn't interesting enough to warrant a whole reality series.

I'm sorry, have you people seen this summer's crappy filler TV? "So You Think You Can Dance?" "Hey Paula?" "Pirate Master?" And Posh couldn't fill a few hours? If she could frown, she should.

They didn't even buy the Posh and Becks love story:

Her soccer star husband, David Beckham, distractingly hot, opens the show, participating in ordinary spousal tasks with his praying mantis wife: They get their hair done together and pose for a W magazine photo shoot in the desert. He, glistening and shirtless; she, wearing a strapless pouf with a violently pointy bodice. It's love, all right, only set in an alternate, creepy universe

Had we been Mr. Anschutz, investing a small fortune in the hope David could inspire interest in soccer in a market beyond the teenage girls who currently are the US football world, we might be a little worried this morning. Victoria might not have landed a fatal blow on brand Beckham in the US, but she's let daylight in on how very little magic there is.

Gibson says 'vote for climate change'

John Gibson - who plays a newsreader in Fox's long-running drama set in a repressive right-wing future, Fox News Channel - is fuming that NBC is broadcasting Live Earth. Not because he hates Genesis - actually, we rather imagine that Gibson believes in the literal truth of Genesis - but because he believes it's political bias in an election year. Even although it's not an election year, and Al Gore isn't running for office:

In a commentary Gibson asks whether NBC's telecast doesn't "constitute a political contribution of free airtime? Do the people who want the return of the Fairness Doctrine think NBC should be forced to give equal time to me and let me argue against Al Gore? I don't think so."

Well, to be honest, John, if you think you should be given eight hours of airtime to argue that the climate isn't changing and that we need to burn more resources, perhaps you should go ahead and organise a concert.

Still, its good news for Al Gore - most of the criticism of the event so far has been coming from the left; people who know the world is changing but think this isn't the answer. It's nice that at last there's someone who it is easier to argue against.

Victoria's big adventure: Deal or no deal

While we'd love to believe that there's really ten million dollars sitting in an NBC account with Victoria Beckham's name on it, we're a little unsure as to the exact status of the Victoria Beckham NBC reality project.

The Daily Mail reckons it's a done deal; Simon Fuller is enthusing:

"The Americans were falling over themselves to sign Victoria up for a TV show but we had to choose the right deal for her," Fuller was quoted as saying in a British paper. "NBC won out in the end as they have really taken a shine to Vic's hilarious sense of humour and they want to capitalise on this."

Perhaps Fuller is confusing "meeting with Beckham at NBC" with that episode of Seinfeld where they pitch the butler idea.

Notably, NBC seem cool:

An NBC spokesperson declined to comment on any pending deal.

And, when pushed, even Mrs Beckham's people were a little less enthused:

Beckham's spokeswoman said that the precise details of the series were still to be finalised, and gave no timescale for transmission.

A half-idea the network don't even want to admit to and no idea when it'll go out, fronted by someone the Americans barely know. We can see Posh hobbling down to the bank already with all those millions.

Lack of experience

Sure, Andrew Lack may have worked at CBS in the dim distant past, but since he's spent the last few years at NBC - much of it in the News department - is he really the best person to take charge at Sony Music? Can we expect a Tom Brokaw jazz album?