Gordon in the morning: Living the values

Come, let us measure today's work by Gordon Smart against the inspiring calls from his editor Rebekah Wade in her Hugh Cudlipp lecture.

Rebekah:

With these market forces, it's even more important to remember why we exist: Journalism.

Gordon:

KYLIE MINOGUE has recorded a song with Aussie kids’ music group THE WIGGLES — after I revealed last year she was desperate to team up with the four cheesy lads in coloured tops.

Rebekah:

Great press campaigns can change history and shape new laws. They can build a bridge between public opinion and public policy.

Gordon:

Stevie-Louise, wearing blue, said: “Russell [Brand] took his clothes off as soon as we got through his front door. He was definitely wanting a threesome — and he thought he was going to get one.”

Rebekah:

Campaigns provide a unique connection to the public especially when the subject matter is of a serious nature.

Gordon:

“I like going to sleep with nice thoughts in my head. I’ll always pick When Harry Met Sally over Saw V.”

James [Corden] reveals the shocking truth in the March issue of movie mag Empire.

Rebekah:

The newsroom needs journalists who have great contacts, the reporters who can break the news not just report it, the photographers that can bring in the exclusives.

Gordon:

NOEL GALLAGHER reckons playing guitar steered him away from a life of crime.

The OASIS axeman, who lived in the Manchester suburb of Burnage as a child, tells Total Guitar magazine...

Rebekah:

The quality of our journalism will make or break our industry, not the recession.

Gordon:

Failed Yorkshire businessman KEITH LEMON has gone one better by enticing Page 3 beauties BECKY and CHELSEA to dance with him.

Rebekah:

Our ancient craft is to tell many people what few people know.

Gordon:

I reckon COLEEN ROONEY must have spent at least a grand on bikinis for her hols.

WAYNE'S curvy missus displayed YET ANOTHER snazzy design as she relaxed on the beach in the Caribbean with her parents COLETTE and TONY, as well as brother JOE.

Doherty causes upset at The Sun

MeidaGuardian's monkey diary suggests that The Sun's jabbing at Pete Doherty following the Mirror's exclusive interview was nothing compared to the drubbing the paper's own staff were given:

Sun editor Rebekah Wade is understood to have sent a furious email to staff after the Daily Mirror's Pete Doherty interview scoop yesterday, when the singer begged supermodel Kate Moss to return to him. A fuming Wade sent the blistering missive asking which staff felt like resigning after picking up the Mirror and realising that they had been scooped. "You have all let me down" the email said, adding "you are a disgrace". Monkey wonders what such a dispatch has done for newsroom morale and is reminded of the old adage, never press the send button in anger.

What would Bizarre do in these circumstances? They'd probably get their "computer boffins" to mock up some sort of image suggesting what the future might be like for the staff who should have been securing the deal.

[Thanks to James Page]

The era of Brave Kylie is now officially over

The period when any mention of Kylie in the red tops had to be accompanied by a reminder of how brave she is has now come to an end, as Victoria Newton turns her split with Olivier Martinez into a circus, (re)launching The Royal Society For The Prevention Of Cruelty to Kylie.

Yes, it's an old joke that Newton has warmed over, roping David Walliams in, although we suspect he didn't realise that Minogue's very real and painful split from her partner was about to be turned into a huge romp:

“She’s gorgeous and I hope she’s doing OK. I don’t know what went wrong with Olivier but I do know she deserves happiness and loyalty. She’s got my number if she wants to get together for a laugh.”

We wonder if Victoria Newton is going to do this for every couple who splits up. Will there, for example, be a Royal Society For The Prevention of Cruelty to Rebekah, what with The Sun's editor having recently uncoupled from Ross Kemp? Perhaps with a logo with Wade's face on?

Meanwhile, Walliam's throwaway line of an offer of a bottle of wine and a curry is being treated by Newton as if it was the first step in an attempt to woo:

Swordsman Walliams has even thrown his hat in the ring. He would certainly be a popular choice with her gay following. And he would definitely bring a smile to her face.

We love the idea that Kylie will have to run her choice of partner past her gay fans - and that Newton thinks that Walliams has some sort of megastar status amongst the gay community.

Quick question

Knowing there's nothing the British tabloids love so much as an unrepentant paedophile to hold up to chill their reader's blood, isn't it curious there's not been a peep in the redtops about Jonathan King's self-serving posts from prison? How come, for example, Rebekah Wade - who as editor of the News of the World encouraged her 'readers' to form vigilante mobs - seems to think there's nothing of interest in King continuing to promote his worldview from a cell?

For what its worth, No Rock has no problem with him banging on all he likes. But we think its odd that the Mail, Sun et al don't want to run a story that would seem to be tailor made for its "all prisons are like Butlins/Kiddie fiddlers on the prowl/they're all at it" take on British Society? You can't help wondering if there's some sort of reason they don't want to get on the wrong side of the man who recorded Una Paloma Blanca.