Apparently Israeli police have time to spend on Madonna leaks

Great to hear that things are so quiet in the Middle East these days that the Israeli police force have so little to do they're taking part in raids against someone accused of leaking Madonna songs:

The person allegedly responsible for that hack and leak was arrested in Israel on Wednesday after a joint operation by Israeli police and the FBI. Adi Lederman, 38, was charged with hacking into Madonna's computer and stealing files including the unreleased music.

Apparently Lederman had taken part in a TV singing competition along the lines of The X Factor, although there doesn't appear to be any connection between the two crimes.

Madonna has issued a statement, which appears to confuse 'being charged' with 'being convicted':

"I am profoundly grateful to the FBI, the Israeli Police investigators and anyone else who helped lead to the arrest of this hacker. I deeply appreciate my fans who have provided us with pertinent information and continue to do so regarding leaks of my music. Like any citizen, I have the right to privacy. This invasion into my life - creatively, professionally, and personally remains a deeply devastating and hurtful experience, as it must be for all artists who are victims of this type of crime."

Psst, Madonna - didn't you describe the massive sales of the rush-released music as a "miracle"? Didn't that offset the deep devastation even a little?

Insane Clown Posse launch legal fight for right to terrible, terrible taste

You might recall that a while back, the FBI looked at the Juggaloos, and decided that something was up. Rather than just being a bunch of dudes with questionable music taste and a surprising amount of time on their hands, the Feds saw a "loosely organized hybrid gang".

I know, viewed from almost anywhere this sounds a bit like the plot of a terrible movie. But in a terrible movie, the Juggaloos would bind together to fight off an alien invasion of the planet - having first tied up a balding, sneering FBI official and stolen his trousers - with the President declaring "we are all Jugaloos now" over the final reel. (You know what sucks? When this film gets made, it'll have to go for best adapated screenplay in The Oscars.)

However, life isn't a terrible movie. Life is much, much worse than that and so the Insane Clown Posse is instead going to sue the FBI.

They held a seminar to announce their plans.

I know, you're going 'am I reading that right? It sounded like the Insane Clown Posse held a seminar to announce an intention to sue a US Department of Justice agency'. That's actually it:

During the seminar, ICP's Violent J discussed how, at first, he didn't know how to respond to the FBI's accusations. But now, they've decided to pursue suing the FBI, "no matter what it costs or what it takes… The main fact is, we're not just layin' down and taking it up the ass." The tent erupted in cheers and chants of "Family," and many Juggalos started crying. As ICP's lawyer, friend, and longtime Juggalo, Ryan Farris said, "This is a family of love, this ain't no organized crime family."

To be fair to the FBI, Ryan, they did only call you loosely organised.

I'm not sure about Mr J's passive anal sex metaphor, to be honest - I can see what he was trying for, but I'm a bit lost as to how that metaphor carries forward; it could just imply that they're going to be a bit more of an active receiver. At this stage we just don't know. Perhaps it will all end in hugging.

While it's all a bit silly in abstract, there are claims that Insane Clown Posse fans are being unfairly treated simply because of their deep, deep love for terrible, terrible music:

One Juggalo, Shawn Wolf of Cottonwood, Arizona, burst into tears when ICP announced that they'd be helping out fans who have been profiled by police for their taste in music. Hugging a friend and saying, "You don't know how much this means to me." He explained that he'd lost custody of his young son solely because of his ICP fandom. "I've been a Juggalo since I was 16. The state of California flew to my house [to see if I was fit], and it's all ICP-decked out," he said. "Just because of that, I was kinda screwed."

Now, there's obviously no way of knowing if it's true that Wolf lost his son "solely" because of his posters and whatnot; it's impossible to say if it was even a factor. But if it was, that's clearly unacceptable; and it's to the Insane Clown Posse's credit that they're sticking up for their fans by supporting people who might have been singled out.

But is suing the FBI really the best solution here? That looks a little like belligerent grandstanding rather than trying to find a solution.

Supporting your fans who have been targeted is a good thing to do; exploiting them to build a myth and, thereby, sell more records, might be a bit of a misjudgement.

Juggalos a bug-a-boo for FBI

Tiresome fanbase of tiresome act, the Juggalos, have won official status as a gang. The FBI has upgraded the status of Insane Clown Posse fans from 'think of the children' to 'I think they're up to something':

Unfortunately for harmless fans of horrorcore rap, Juggalos are now officially "of concern to law enforcement," according to the FBI's 2011 National Gang Threat Assessment report. Juggalos have been tied to a string of recent crimes, including a shooting in January and the assault of a homeless man last year. "Open source reporting suggests that a small number of Juggalos are forming more organised subsets and engaging in more gang-like criminal activity," the report alleges. "Transient, criminal Juggalo groups pose a threat to communities due to the potential for violence, drug use/sales, and their general destructive and violent nature."

The Insane Clown Posse themselves have tried to distance themselves from people doing crimes under a Juggalo banner, and some Juggalos are even organising a petition to try and get the FBI to change their minds.

Although judging by how the state is reacting to Occupy Wall Street, organising yourself into a protest group to stand up to government isn't exactly going to win you many friends, either.

FBI protects 'Chinese Democracy' the way the Chinese government protects itself from democracy

The guy who posted up nine songs he claimed were from Chinese Democracy back in June has been arrested by the FBI:

A man [Kevin Gogill] accused of posting nine previously unreleased songs by the rock band Guns N' Roses on a website where they could be accessed by the public was arrested at his home early today on suspicion of violating federal copyright laws, authorities said.

Thank god there's so little crime in America the FBI have got nothing better to do with American's tax dollars.

Tupac bodyguard: I was a Fed

Somehow having forgotten to mention it until now, Kevin Hackie has announced that he wasn't just Tupac's bodyguard. Oh, no, he was also undercover FBI.

And possibly being controlled by shape-shifting aliens too, although he'll be saving that for a later book tour.

Hackie seems happy to reveal this, despite now adding "rubbish at being an undercover secret agent" to the earlier charge of being "total disaster at guarding Tupac's body".

Did Clay run to the FBI because he got shoved?

Somehow, the FBI got themselves involved in a spat between Clay Aiken - that's American for "Gareth Gates" - and a woman during a flight to Oklahoma. It seems Aiken had shoved his feet on a woman's armrest; when she pointed out how boorish that was, a dispute occurred which ended up with Clay getting gently shoved and the FBI called to meet the plane.

It's good to know that the worst security threat you face in American airspace is gameshow losers behaving like they own the joint. This all sounds rather economy class, doesn't it?