Gordon in the morning: Liam's trousers drop

Mr Smart goes to the Pretty Green launch, and who is the last man standing punting his overpriced clothes to?

I was shocked to see This Morning's seemingly-sweet host HOLLY WILLOUGHBY chatting to Liam's missus NICOLE APPLETON and on a tear-up with KASABIAN and RICHARD ASHCROFT.

Another surprise guest was Sugababe HEIDI RANGE, there with her bloke DAVE BERRY.

It's probably slightly more surprising that Ashcroft was there than Range, isn't it? This is a man flogging trousers off the back of his name - that's much more This Morning than XFM.

Liam spent most of the night chatting to MILES KANE from THE LAST SHADOW PUPPETS. There's talk he's trying to persuade Miles to form a band with him.

Let's hope that's just the fevered imagination of Gordon running hot, and not based in any trufax. The last thing we need is people starting to form semisupergroups from other band's less-interesting members.

And, remember, this is a tribute, not a ghoulish cash-in:

BOYZONE will release a tribute single to STEPHEN GATELY next year featuring him singing lead vocals.

Bandmate RONAN KEATING revealed plans to cleverly remix the song - which the lads wrote with MIKA - so it showcases Stephen's voice.

It just sounds rather like a cash-in when Keating starts saying things like this:

It's going to be the biggest song of next year, I promise.

That's 2010 ruined by the sound of cash registers ringing mawkishly, then.

Gordon in the morning: Deyn works through more indish bands

It's worth noting this morning that they've left the Bruno's Bizarre masthead on the front page of the Bizarre website this morning, leaving poor Gordon as little more than a walk-on in his own page.

The main story this morning is about Agyness Deyn and her habit of dating minor members of sort of indie bands, doing nothing to dispel the feeling that she's some of Kate Moss Historic Re-enactment Society.

Currently, it's Miles Kane from The Rascals, but Gordon has a list:

It’s like a Who’s Who of top bands including THE STROKES guitarist ALBERT HAMMOND JR, THE PADDINGTONS’ JOSH HUBBARD and PHANTOM PLANET’s ALEX GREENWALD.

Well, it's like a who's who of top bands in the sense that one of those would be a list of names of people who play instruments, too.

Smart has also got some special insight into this latest 'relationship':

A pal of the couple told me: “Miles and Agy get on like a house on fire and have a proper laugh. Miles bowled her off her feet. His pals ask about her but all he says is things are ‘boss’.

"They have passed the three-week mark now. He lives in Liverpool but has been in the Big Smoke charming the pants off her. She’s very down to earth. That’s her appeal.”

The last person to use the phrase "the Big Smoke" seriously was probably Mike Baldwin back when he was dating Bet Lynch. And even he was just saying words that someone else had put in his mouth.

Elsewhere, Sarah Harding is confidently predicting her acting won't be all Mariah Carey:

She said: "I don't want to try too much, too soon. I'm taking baby steps.

"I'm working my way into acting gradually - I don't want people to think that I'm just swanning in there.

"There is a stigma attached to people who go from singing to acting."

Presumably, then, that KitKat advert was the first baby step on a route to being Dandini at the Scarborough Empire in a couple of Christmases' time.