You have to feel sorry for Kerry Katona

She can't even get married without being upstaged by one of the others from Atomic Kitten:

FORMER Atomic Kitten pop star Natasha Hamilton has thanked Bristol’s Southmead Hospital after she went into suspected labour at bandmate Kerry Katona’s wedding.

That's a way to upstage the bride.

Her baby’s dad is Ritchie Neville, 35, from boyband 5ive, so the baby, who they have already decided to call Ella, will be 90s pop royalty.

90s pop royalty being approximately equal to a pre-unification Germanic duchy, really, and even on that scale the baby is one of those royals a long way from the throne. Kind of King Ralph distance.

“It was a late wedding, so the speeches were going on at 9pm when Natasha started feeling a bit sick."

We can only imagine.

Everyone ended up alright, thanks to the NHS. Although Katona might be slightly less than thrilled at the stealing of thunder.

Scott from 5ive does a nice thing

It's easy to snurkle at the activities of pop stars, so for a change here's someone doing something nice.

Scott Robinson out of 5ive went on All Star Mr & Mrs and won some money. They gave it to the hospice which looked after his wife's grandma.

(They're not allowed to say how much money because the programme hasn't gone out yet, and you know how modern people hate spoilers.)

Now, back to the snurkling.

As if the loss of X isn't bad enough...

It's hard to believe, but 5ive's comeback is over, too. It's harder to believe that they bothered to officially announce that they're not bothering any more, though:

"It is with deep regret that FIVE today announce that their comeback is no more. The band have decided to call it a day, seven months after reforming. They would like to apologise to all their fans throughout the world for any disappointment caused. Despite considerable broadcast interest in a reunion television series being secured, an album being half-way completed and a world tour in the final stages of confirmation, Ritchie, J, Abz and Scott feel that they cannot continue together.

A huge amount of hard work and effort went into the band's reformation, but with the state of the music business as it is and with decent record deals being so difficult to procure, the band were really left with no other option than to split."

So... in other words, nobody wanted to release the record, nobody wanted to make a programme about them, nobody wanted them, so even the four who had turned up can't be arsed to do it any more. It's lucky 5ive were already a bit of a laughing stock, otherwise they'd have had a legacy to piss away.

Abs and sulky

More from Zoe. Last week, she broke exclusive news on Lee Ryan's unwanted comeback. This week, as if she's become the go-to-girl for washed up boyband pecs symbols, she brings news of Abs from 5ive. He's making a solo album; apparently Mutya has got involved in, too. Zoe thinks this a marriage made in the very heaven:

ABS Breen was always the edgy one in the boyband 5ive and Mutya Buena tried to liven up the Sugababes when she was in the girlband.

Well, yes, Abs may well have had more edge than the rest of 5ive, but that's like choosing the most menacing out of the cast of Dad's Army. And who knew that Mutya's permanent anti-cyclone crossing the Atlantic wasn't merely a decade-long sulk, but was her way of attempting to pep up the Sugababes. Fancy that, eh?