Absolute Radio a little less absolute

Absolute Radio - the one which used to be Virgin back when it started - is starting to see its UK AM network crumble.

Listeners in Berkshire (and bits of the country that touch the county) are being advised to swap to digital after - effectively - the station was told to get orf a farmer's land:

The AM transmitters at the privately owned Manor Farm site were switched off on Friday, as the lease on the site is not being renewed.

Absolute Radio's transmissions on 1233kHz, which served Berkshire, southeastern Oxfordshire and south west Buckinghamshire were terminated on Friday morning.

Smooth Radio, which inherited the former frequencies of Gold last year has also been affected. Its service on 1421kHz from the site was switched off alongside its service on 1485kHz, which although broadcast from a different site operated under the same commercial AM radio licence serving the Thames Valley area.

Listeners to both stations are being advised to continue listening via digital radio, either via DAB digital radio, online, via mobile apps or through digital TV services.

Yes, that's right. Because someone who's listening to a music service on AM in 2015 is doing so because they have the ability to listen digitally, but are choosing not to.

Times Of India exits UK radio market

Somewhat inevitably, the Absolute family of radio stations have been swallowed up by Bauer, ending an exciting period when The Times Of India owned a national UK radio station.

It looks, roughly speaking, that the value of the portfolio - which also includes a bunch of decade-themed digital channels - has dropped about thirty million quid in the six or so years since the paper bought what was then called Virgin Radio.

This means that alongside Kerrang and Planet Rock, Bauer now adds Absolute Classic Rock to its stable of superserving the heavy metal fan. An exciting era of further consolidation beckons.

Gordon in the morning: Simon Cowell goes to the movies

The story Simon Cowell tells about why he doesn't go to the pictures tells us a lot about Cowell's self-image:

The last straw came while watching Hugh play a washed-up Eighties singer in the 2007 romantic comedy Music And Lyrics.

He said: "The last time I went to the cinema publicly was for a movie where Hugh Grant was a failing singer songwriter."

To be fair, I think a lot of people saw Music And Lyrics and emerged grimly pledging that they would never, ever go to a cinema again. I think a few people in County Durham even put their own eyes out to make sure they never saw another film, even by accident.

But Cowell has different reasons for not going:

"Some people recognised me and every time his character sang a song in the movie, everyone turned around to look at me.

"I've never been so embarrassed in all my life.

"It was terrible, they looked at me as if I was going to say 'That was crap.' I was so embarrassed I had to get out of there."

Maybe this really did happen, but I can't help noticing it sounds more like a paranoiac talking - "I just felt everyone was turning at me."

Maybe Cowell was muttering "oh, no, another song! I really hope people don't expect me to give an OPINION! Like I do on television" loudly through the film, which would explain why people kept turning to stare at him and certainly fit with someone telling this story four years later.

But even if it is true, why would that stop you from going to the cinema? Couldn't you just choose movies that don't feature crappy songwriting? Is he afraid that the crowd at Dolphin Tale would be constantly nudging him and asking for an opinion on the feasibility of a prosthetic tail.

More from the X Factor-Movies axis as Gordon types up the minutes from Noel Gallagher's appearance on Christian O'Connell's Absolute breakfast show:

Noel Gallagher has spotted some similarities between Gary Barlow's judging style and Ernst Stavro Blofeld — one of 007's most famous adversaries.

He said: "Gary's sitting sideways a lot. Just like some James Bond baddie, isn't he? Where he kind of swivels round, 'Ah, yes, you're just not good enough'.

"Gary's all right, I've met him a few times, he's a good lad."

Yes, Noel Gallagher now has so little to say he's reduced to chatting about the X Factor. It's lucky for Christian; if he'd booked Noel a couple of weeks ago he'd have had three hours about how it unseasonably warm it is and what Noel's gardener had reported about effects on the fruit bushes.

Absolute clones Frank Skinner show

This sounds like a really, really terrible idea: Absolute is going to take the Frank Skinner show and run it on all its themed radio stations, just with different music. MediaGuardian explains:

Skinner's Saturday morning show between 8am and 10am will be broadcast an hour later on Absolute 80s, Absolute Radio 90s, Absolute Radio 00s and Absolute Classic Rock.

The programme will be re-edited so that most of the words remain the same but the tunes will change depending on which station you listen to. So saying "I really like Frank Skinner but I just don't like the music" will no longer be an excuse for not tuning in. At least, that's what Absolute Radio bosses hope.

Isn't the main point of listening to a radio show the interplay between the presenter and the music they're playing - that's what makes a show work, isn't it? Doesn't this simply turn Skinner into a one-man Adrian Juste*, lobbing out-of-context jokes between songs he's not even listening to?

* - technically, Adrian Juste was one man.

Absolute on the market?

Not very much backing up its claims, but Radio Today is pretty certain the current owners of Absolute Radio are looking for a buyer.

Absolute response

I think this it's probably only fair to pick up Absolute's response to what I wrote about their latest accounts at the weekend. Clive Dickens said this:

Hi Simon, The accounts you refer too were the period ending December 2009.

Q3 Rajar will be published in a few weeks time covering the first 9 months 2010 which will show that The Absolute Radio Network now has MORE audience than The Virgin Radio Network at the time of the new brand launch in OCT 2008.

We look forward to the next set of Rajars with interest.

Absolute hole

Earlier this week, Absolute Radio - which used to be called Virgin Radio and used to have listeners - announced its latest performance.

£4.3 million in losses for 2009. Oh, and nearly a third of the company's turnover vanished into the year.

But they can explain:

The national radio broadcaster blamed the combined effect of the recession and...

Well, yes: recession, that's fair enough. It's hit everyone. You can't be blamed for the recession.

But there was an "and"?

...and a big decline in its audience

Um... isn't a radio station blaming a big decline in its audience for not doing well a bit redundant? Delivering audiences is your business, Absolute; it's not like people not tuning in is a factor beyond your control.

Gordon in the morning: Becks defender

Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross are getting back together to generate some cheap publicity for Absolute Radio:

RUSSELL BRAND and JONATHAN ROSS will be together on the radio next month for the first time since Sachsgate.

Except, it turns out, they won't be on radio at all:

The pair will record a podcast live from Hackney, east London, for Absolute Radio.

What's the "live" doing there? Is it recorded, or is it live?

Elsewhere, Gordon's former number two and a journalist come together to rubbish the claims of the Beckham 'hooker':

Tosh N Becks By RICHARD WHITE and PETE SAMSON, US Editor

There is an obvious weakness in the InTouch story: if the woman who claims to have had an on-the-meter threesome with Beckham really is a high-earning sex worker with royalty, celebrities and sportspeople amongst her regulars, why would she ruin her business for a single cheque from a US magazine?

But News International isn't going to point out that the sort of top-level prostitute who often appears in their stories is the least likely person to be spilling beans. Indeed, it suggests that maybe this is a cash cow for her:

Last night Irma was trying to cash in on her allegations. She hired an agent and set up the website irmanici.com to charge 60p for each picture downloaded by users.

There's nothing more shabby than salacious content behind a paywall, eh, Mr Murdoch?

Of course, what's really here is a chance to throw rocks at another publisher:

Irma's story was splashed across America's In Touch Weekly lifestyle magazine, published by German media group Bauer, which operates in 15 countries including Britain.

Two journalists and - presumably - a sub looked at that sentence and decided it needed no further work.

To a casual observer, there might be a question 'if the story is so horrific and wrong, why bother repeating it?' But, hey, there's a news angle as... erm... it might all be some sort of conspiracy:

One theory about the allegations is that they may be an attempt to undermine England's bid to stage the 2018 World Cup. Becks is one of our leading ambassadors.

Even if that was likely - and, frankly, is isn't - given that the World Cup is one of the biggest drivers of new business to prostitutes, that shouldn't be a problem, should it?

Absolut, Absolute settle

Presumably as the vodka company have realised nobody has even heard of the radio, Absolut and Absolute have settled their trademark spat:

"Absolute Radio is pleased with this settlement which will see us continue to build our music radio brand and advance our position as one of the leading commercial radio networks in a digital age," said Absolute Radio chief operating officer Clive Dickens.

It really is one of the leading commercial radio networks, alongside the other three.

Sony Awards honour 6Music, shames self with nominations

First, the encouraging news: 6Music has received seven nominations in this year's Sony Radio Awards. Amongst the shortlisted names are Jarvis Cocker, Lauren Laverne, Adam & Joe, Huey Morgan and Steve Lamacq.

It's a nice acknowledgment of the high regard in which the station is held. And only slightly undermined by Nick Ferrari getting five nominations for his rotten show. And - oh, sweet jesus - even nominated that toe-curling Bono poem about Elvis for something.

The recently downsized Radcliffe and Maconie show has been nominated for best music programme.

Here are the nominations in full - deep breath:

Breakfast Show of the Year (10 million plus)

5live Breakfast
BBC Radio 5live News for BBC Radio 5live

Kiss Breakfast with Rickie, Melvin & Charlie
Kiss 100

Nick Ferrari at Breakfast
LBC 97.3

The 1Xtra Breakfast Show with Trevor Nelson & Gemma
BBC Radio 1Xtra

Today
BBC Radio News for BBC Radio 4

========


Breakfast Show of the Year (under 10 million)

Breakfast with John & Jules
BBC Radio Kent

Dixie & Gayle, The Real Breakfast Show
Real Radio Yorkshire

Heart Breakfast With Tom, Lynsey & Jack
Heart Sussex

Steve & Karen at Breakfast
Galaxy Network Imaging for Galaxy North East

The Andrew Peach Show
BBC Radio Berkshire

========

Best Music Programme

Dermot O'Leary Show
Ora Et Labora for BBC Radio 2

In Tune
BBC Radio 3

Lauren Laverne
BBC 6 Music/BBC Audio & Music for BBC 6 Music

The A-Z of Classic FM Music
Classic FM

The Radcliffe and Maconie Show
Smooth Operations (Productions) for BBC Radio 2

=========

Best Specialist Music Programme

Huw Stephens
BBC Radio 1

Jools Holland
BBC Radio 2 Live Music for BBC Radio 2

Sounds Of The Sixties
BBC Radio 2

World Routes
BBC Radio 3

Zane Lowe
BBC Radio 1

=======

Best Entertainment Programme

Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio
Absolute Radio

Heart Breakfast with Jamie & Harriet
Heart 106.2

Steve & Karen at Breakfast
Galaxy Network Imaging for Galaxy North East

The Capital Breakfast Show
95.8 Capital FM

The Christian O'Connell Breakfast Show
Absolute Radio

=======

Best Speech Programme

Behind Bars
Prison Radio Association for Electric Radio Brixton

Nick Ferrari at Breakfast
LBC 97.3

Nihal on BBC Asian Network
BBC News for BBC Asian Network

Witness
BBC News & Current Affairs for BBC World Service

Woman's Hour
BBC General Factual for BBC Radio 4

=======

Best Sports Programme

Blue Remembered Thrills - Everton at Wembley
BBC Radio Merseyside

Sportsound
BBC Radio Scotland Sports for BBC Radio Scotland

Sportsweek
Front Page Media for BBC Radio 5live

The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
talkSPORT

World Football
BBC World Service Sport for BBC World Service

========

Best News & Current Affairs Programme

Newshour
BBC World Service News & Current Affairs for BBC World Service

PM
BBC Radio 4

The Andrew Peach Show
BBC Radio Berkshire

Today
BBC Radio News for BBC Radio 4

Victoria Derbyshire
BBC Radio 5live News for BBC Radio 5live


===========

Best Breaking News Coverage

Alzheimers' Tragedy
BBC Radio Current Affairs for BBC Radio Ulster

Corus Teesside Mothballing
BBC Tees

Cumbria Floods
BBC Radio Cumbria

The Peckham Fire
BBC London 94.9

The Release of the Lockerbie Bomber
BBC Radio Scotland News & Current Affairs for BBC Radio Scotland

=========

Best Live Event Coverage

Absolute Blur
TBI Media with Absolute Radio for Absolute Radio

Comic Relief: The Kilimanjaro Climb
BBC Radio 1

London Jazz Festival
BBC Radio 3, BBC Scotland, BBC Wales, Unique Production Co & Somethin' Else for BBC Radio 3

Test Match Special: The Ashes
BBC Radio Sport for BBC Radio 5live Sports Extra, BBC Radio 5live & BBC Radio 4

The Funeral of Harry Patch
BBC Somerset & BBC Radio Bristol

======

Best Community Programming

Ali Booker's Cancer Diaries
Oxfordshire's 106 JACK fm

BBC Academy Great Ormond Street Hospital Audio Podcasts
BBC Connect & Create for Children First for Health

Behind Bars
Prison Radio Association for Electric Radio Brixton

The New Ballads of Reading Gaol
BBC Radio Berkshire

Yvette's Early Christmas
Beacon Radio for Beacon Radio (Black Country)

=========

Best Internet Programme

Answer Me This!
answermethispodcast.com

Hackney Podcast: Water
Hackney Podcast.co.uk

Media Talk
Guardian News & Media for guardian.co.uk

Remembering Hillsborough
Real Radio North West for Real Radio.co.uk

Richard Herring: As It Occurs To Me
Sky Potato, Avalon & Ben Walker for The British Comedy Guide Podcast

=======

Music Radio Personality of the Year

Chris Moyles
BBC Radio 1

Christian O'Connell
Absolute Radio for Absolute Radio & Absolute Classic Rock

Lauren Laverne
BBC 6 Music/BBC Audio & Music for BBC 6 Music

Mike Toolan & Chelsea Norris (Mike & Chelsea in the Morning)
Key 103 Manchester for Key 103

Scott Mills
BBC Radio 1


=======

Music Broadcaster of the Year

Huey Morgan
Wise Buddah Creative for BBC 6 Music & BBC Radio 2

Loz Guest
Kerrang! Radio

Mark Lamarr
BBC Radio 2

Steve Lamacq
BBC 6 Music/BBC Audio & Music for BBC 6 Music

Zane Lowe
BBC Radio 1

========

Speech Radio Personality of the Year

Adrian Durham
talkSPORT

Eddie Mair
BBC Radio 4

Frances Finn
BBC Radio Nottingham

Jon Gaunt
SunTalk

Nick Ferrari
LBC 97.3

=========

Speech Broadcaster of the Year

Andrew Peach
BBC Radio Berkshire

Melvyn Bragg
BBC General Factual for BBC Radio 4

Nick Ferrari
LBC 97.3

Sir David Attenborough
BBC Natural History Unit Radio for BBC Radio 4

Victoria Derbyshire
BBC Radio 5live

========

News Journalist of the Year

Andover Sound News Team
Andover Sound

Ian Pannell
BBC Newsgathering for BBC Radio 4

Lyse Doucet
BBC World Service News & Current Affairs for BBC World Service

Nick Ferrari
LBC 97.3

Real Radio North West News Team
Real Radio North West for Real Radio

========

Best Specialist Contributor

Alan Dedicoat
BBC Radio 2

Chris Skinner
BBC Radio Norfolk

Mark Kermode
BBC Radio 5live

Maxwell Hutchinson
BBC London 94.9

Steve Levine
Magnum Opus Broadcasting Ltd for BBC Radio 2 & BBC 6 Music

=======

Best Interview

Eddie Mair interviews John Hutton
PM Programme for BBC Radio 4

James O'Brien speaks to Frank Lampard
LBC 97.3

Jenni Murray interviews Sharon Shoesmith
Woman's Hour, BBC General Factual for BBC Radio 4

Toby Foster interviews the Mayor of Doncaster
BBC Radio Sheffield

Victoria Derbyshire interviews Peter Bacon
BBC Radio 5live News for BBC Radio 5live

======

Station Programmer of the Year

Ed Baxter
Resonance FM

Euan McMorrow
Radio City 96.7

Paul Jackson
95.8 Capital FM

========

Best Use of Branded Content

Coca Cola - The Gift of Giving
95.8 Capital FM

NME Radio for Skins Radio
NME Radio

NME Radio Topman Takeover Show
Carat Sponsorship for NME Radio

One Last Dream with Guitar Hero
Absolute Radio for Absolute Radio & Absolute Classic Rock

The Southern Comfort 'Big Easy'
Jazz FM Productions for Jazz FM

=========

Best Single Promo/Commercial

Bristol's Big Give
Heart Bristol

Capital's Summer Time Ball - Boris Johnson
95.8 Capital FM

Dear Stan
talkSPORT Creative for talkSPORT

James Neale (for The Stop Smoking Service)
Maximum Productions for Pirate FM

Tourism Ireland: Apology for Apology for Jedward
750mph for Heart 106.2 fm, Magic 105.4 fm and Capital 95.8 fm

=========

Best Promotional/Advertising Campaign

BBC Radio 3: Composers of the Year
BBC Radio Cross Trails and Pure Tonic Media for BBC Radio 2 & BBC Radio 4

Capital's Jingle Bell Ball - I can't get tickets
95.8 Capital FM

MI6: A Century in the Shadows
BBC World Service Promotions for BBC World Service

Save JACK
Oxfordshire's 106 JACK fm

Vote Joe
Real Radio Programmes for Real Radio North East

=========

Best Competition

Battle Of The Boroughs
Heart 106.2

Beacon Radio's Midnight Drop
Beacon Radio for Beacon Radio (Black Country)

Chain Gang: Paper, Scissors, Stone.
BBC Radio 7

Sunday Sinners on Absolute Radio
Absolute Radio

Who's Calling Christian?
Absolute Radio

==========

Best Station Imaging

Absolute Radio
Absolute Radio

BBC 6 Music
BBC 6 Music

Gold Network
Gold Network

Kiss 100
Kiss 100

Oxfordshire's 106 JACK fm
Oxfordshire's 106 JACK fm

=======

Best Music Special

Angel of Harlem: The Billie Holiday Story
Document Productions for BBC Radio 2

Elvis By Bono
White Pebble Media / Ten Alps for BBC Radio 4

Liquid Assets: Tracing Handel's Thousands
BBC Radio 3

The Elbow Story
TBI Media with Absolute Radio for Absolute Radio

The Woodstock 40th Anniversary
Ten Alps Radio for BBC Radio 2

=========

Best News Special

Crossing Continents: Chechnya
BBC Radio Current Affairs for BBC Radio 4

Hacked To Pieces
BBC Bristol for BBC Radio 4

Passport To Murder
BBC Birmingham for BBC Asian Network

The Afghan Diaries - On The Front Line
Radio City 96.7

The Return to Hillsborough
Real Radio North West News Team for Real Radio North West

==========

Best Feature

Archive on 4: Working for Margaret
Brook Lapping Productions for BBC Radio 4

Child of the State
Above the Title Productions for BBC Radio 4

Kegworth 20 Years on
Trent FM Programming for Trent FM

Now Wash Your Hands
Loftus Audio for BBC Radio 4

Six Minutes Past Three: Hillsborough Remembered
BBC Radio Merseyside

=========

Best Comedy

Adam and Joe
BBC 6 Music/BBC Audio & Music for BBC 6 Music

Bleak Expectations
BBC Radio Comedy for BBC Radio 4

Down The Line - Credit Crunch Special
Down The Line Productions for BBC Radio 4

Mark Steel's In Town
BBC Radio Comedy for BBC Radio 4

News Quiz
BBC Radio Comedy for BBC Radio 4

========

Best Drama

Daniel and Mary
BBC Radio Scotland Drama for BBC Radio Scotland

People Snogging in Public Places
BBC Radio Drama for BBC Radio 3

Restless
BBC Radio Drama for BBC Radio 4

The Day that Lehman Died
BBC World Service Drama & Goldhawk Essential Production for BBC World Service

The Loop
BBC Radio Drama for BBC Radio 4

===========

Station of the Year (up to 300,000)

Andover Sound
Andover Sound

BBC Guernsey
BBC Guernsey

Moray Firth Radio
Moray Firth Radio


=========

Station of the Year (300,000 - 1 million)

BBC Hereford & Worcester
BBC Hereford & Worcester

BBC Radio Derby
BBC Radio Derby

Oxfordshire's 106 JACKfm
Oxfordshire's 106 JACKfm

=========

Station of the Year (1 Million plus)

BBC Radio Wales
BBC Radio Wales

Kiss 100
Kiss 100

Real Radio Scotland
Real Radio Scotland

========

Digital Station of the Year

Absolute Classic Rock
Absolute Classic Rock

BBC Radio 5live Sports Extra
BBC Radio 5live Sports Extra

Planet Rock
Planet Rock

========

UK Station of the Year

Absolute Radio
Absolute Radio

BBC Radio 5live
BBC Radio 5live

talkSPORT
talkSPORT

RAJARS: 6Music finds listeners

It's feeling a bit grim for 6Music at the moment, a station which sits in the BBC Radio family knowing that if the going gets hard in the next couple of years (and by that, we mean "if Cameron gets in"), it's going to be very hard to survive. The sounds of idiots shouting "why not sell of Radio One and Two, because they're probably no different to Heart, I should imagine, if I'd ever listened to them" will be hard enough to cope with; you fear that a network which can only claim to be distinctive and interesting will struggle in such an environment.

So, let's just cheer ourselves up with listening figures for 6Music up 12.3% year-on-year.

Things are a bit more mixed over at NME:

Indie music magazine spin-off NME Radio was down 18.8% on the previous quarter but up 16.4% year on year to 177,000.

You suspect that this might be down less to any great fluctuation in listeners, more to the difficulty in tracking a national station with such a small audience to begin with.

Along the dial, the Asian Network, which is already on death watch has lost another 5% of its audience.

Back on the old radio, Absolute resumed the quarter-on-quarter declines which have greeted its change of name. And Wogan went out on a high, meaning that Chris Evans is going to have to prepare for headlines accusing him of 'losing' listeners in three months' time.

House Of Commons hired out to promote commercial radio

While you can understand Absolute Radio celebrating its first year after throwing off the Virgin brand and a large portion of its listeners - "we're still here" - I'm a bit surprised they got to promote themselves in Parliament. With a gig by Biffy Clyro.

This, it seems, is a way of politicians "reaching out" to the public:

John Bercow, Speaker of the House of Commons, said it could be the first of many similar concerts, as part of his efforts to help Parliament ''reconnect'' with modern Britain.

Oh, yes. After a couple of years in which MPs have been castigated for lining their own pockets and doing very nicely for themselves, how better to reconnect with the people than by turning the building over to host corporate jollies. Perhaps they should ask RBS if they want to do a management paintball team building event in the Committee Rooms?

The Telegraph describes this as "the first gig in parliament", before then clarifying the claim:

Parliament has witnessed a few musical performances before, including appearances by Alicia Keys, the R&B star, Ralph McTell, the folk musician, and Commons rock band MP4 – made up of four MPs – has played in the terrace pavilion.

But Thursday night's Biffy Clyro show is believed to be the first full-scale gig by a mainstream rock act.

Except, as the Telegrpah's own report says, the band played a half-hour acoustic set, so it wasn't actually a full-scale gig at all. But 'band play latest in series of gigs at Commons' isn't quite as eye-catching.

Absolute invites you to dance the Prince Charming

Absolute have announced plans to launch an 80s station on the internet and DAB in London.

Absolute 80s aims to be a "nostalgia trip" for 30- to 54-year-olds, playing 80s pop from the likes of the Human League, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Duran Duran, Prince, ABC, Depeche Mode, Blondie and Bon Jovi.

The new station will operate as a jukebox format, without DJs, while the evening playlist will have a party feel.

This is going to take the place of Absolute Xtreme, which - as we were saying last week - is barely distinguishable from the main station. Something had to be done, and this is clearly something.

The worry for Absolute must be, though, that while people like to have 80s themed parties, and some people still dress up as Boy George and Marilyn to have sex from time to time, is it something that people want round the clock?

Yes, Duran Duran albums still sell tolerably well. And Spandau Ballet can sell tickets to a comeback. But there's a market for Clangers DVDs and Bagpuss backpacks; it would be a foolish move to launch a TV channel off the back of that, though.

I'm not clear that there's any demand for a sustained network playing (a very, very small segment of) 80s music without a presenter or context. And if there is, wouldn't sticking 'Wham" into LastFM do the job?

Radio sniffing

Meet Compare My Radio, a handy new service which tracks the music played by a selection of British radio stations and gives you the chance to compare them.

For example, have you ever wondered what's "Xtreme" about Absolute Xtreme?

Well, this is what the non-extreme, ordinary flavour of Absolute plays most:

1 Snow Patrol 169 plays
2 Kings of Leon 165 plays
3 Muse 165 plays
4 Kasabian 151 plays
5 Florence + The Machine 149 plays

And this is the most-played bands on Xtreme:

1 Kasabian 265 plays
2 Muse 262 plays
3 Foo Fighters 254 plays
4 The Temper Trap 253 plays
5 Kings of Leon 242 plays

See? Totally different stations. Xtreme doesn't play Snow Patrol anything like as much. Xtreme or what?

Rajars: Moyles swells his audience

In the nip-and-tuck of breakfast shows, Chris Moyles has closed the gap on Terry Wogan again; meanwhile, Absolute Radio seems to have stopped freefalling, adding 200,0000 listeners in the last three months. Still some way to go to replace the 31% of the audience who've disappeared over the last twelve months, though.

Commercial radio: it's not going to live forever

The Guardian's Changing Media summit today had a poke at the state of the UK's commercial radio sector and made a sucking noise:

UK commercial radio 'dying out'

That was the gloomy headline, although it's not quite as bad as it sounds:

Commercial radio could die out within 15 to 20 years as advertising revenues dwindle, the MediaGuardian Changing Media Summit heard today.

Claire Enders, the founder of Enders Analysis, made the prediction, pointing to the large number of radio stations in the UK that are currently unprofitable.

In twenty years? Seriously? In twenty years we're all going to have music and news weeped straight into our faces by highly trained, internet-connected fact bats, so predicting there might not be a space for thirty thousand variants of Heart FM isn't quite so daring.

She said revenues from classified, online and search advertising all outstripped those from radio, and that advertising agencies were tuning out of the medium.

"There is a next generation of people in agencies who are not that keen on radio," she said."

Which is unfortunate, as - listening to commercial radio - there also appears to be a generation of people in radio who are not that keen on radio.

Clive Dickens, out of that station that used to be Virgin, reckons he knows what the problem is:

"As an operator who has been in the sector with this brand for five months, [I would say] a whole range of failed models – plc models – have failed to grasp what consumers wanted: extended choice not upgraded sets," he said.

"Greater choice in the first seven years [of digital radio] came from the BBC. As someone operating for five months, I say watch this space."

Dickens is keen to stress that he's only been doing it for five months, but he's being modest: in that time, he's managed to chase away audience in numbers that some more seasoned heads would take years to lose.

Is it true that audiences want more choice, though? Isn't it that they want to feel a connection with the station they listen to, and most of the UK's commercial sector has been busily losing the valuable sense of connection by turning well-loved local brands into centralised, one-size-fits-all megabrands?

Absolute: Somehow, it's not payola

Absolute radio has been following up its playing of the new U2 single with ten second "blipvert" suggesting you buy the track from iTunes.

So. That's a piece of editorial - playing the U2 single. And a piece of advertising - "buy the U2 single".

Isn't that, at best, a little grubby?

“We had to get approval from Ofcom because we are in uncharted territory,” says Absolute Radio chief operating officer, Clive Dickens. “The song was already in the highest rotation it could have on Absolute Radio - 27 to 30 times a week - so they were confident any commercial relationship between us and [U2’s record label] Universal was not influencing the number of times we play it.

“And they wanted to be confident that the consumer would know when they were being advertised to. We felt we came up with a creative that made it clear this was an advert. U2 typically don’t market their stuff on the radio, and we sold it at a significant premium over normal spot advertising.”

Obviously, with Absolute having so few listeners, it's hard to see imagine that too much undue influence is being thrown about, but it's still the principle, isn't it?

Yes, Absolute is the sort of the station which would unthinkingly wedge its schedule with squillions of plays of the U2 song. But does that really suddenly mean that slapping an advert on each time isn't chasing a bit of money? And while U2 might always be on Absolute anyway, what if another band came along who might not normally get those thirty plays a week, but whose label might be interested in investing? With this precedent, would there not be a temptation to, for example, ramp up the plays for tracks from the new Genesis Snog Exodus album a couple of weeks prior to release? So that when the record hits the charts, data can be presented to Ofcom showing how the station has been playing Genesis Snog Exodus loads anyway, so why not not take a few quid for every play?

Absolute might be confident that listeners know what they're hearing is an ad, and not editorial. But it all reminds me of those Laser 558 "spins" which the station would admit afterwards were "pay-ed ad-vert-ise-ments".

Absolute accuracy

If yesterday's pre-Rajar announcement that Absolute was expecting a ten-to-fifteen per cent drop in audience was supposed to manage expectations down, they perhaps didn't go far enough. Audiences are twenty per cent down on what they were before.

Brave faces all round, people:

The Absolute chief operating officer Clive Dickens, who blamed the drop on listener confusion over the station's new name, said: "Absolute Radio has had just 15 weeks to sink into the nation's ears.

"When Oasis were 15 weeks old they told everyone they were going to be one of the biggest bands in the world. Fifteen years on, now look at them. We have the same aspirations."

Hmm. When Bagsy The Magic Spanner were 15 weeks old, they told everyone they were going to be one of the biggest bands in the world. So did Combine Thresher. And Explore The Big Teapot. And the thing is, Absolute isn't fifteen weeks old. It's an old, old radio station that just happens to have a different name. And if the rebrand has cost you one out of five of your audience, then it's a rebrand you've failed to carry off successfully. Making empty Gallagher-like noises about how you're going to be the Oasis of the Radio Industry can't really disguise the terrible sink the network is in.

Also interesting from the latest batch of audience numbers: Chris Moyles audience is more-or-less the same as it was this time last year, raising the intriguing possibility that he's at the natural limits of his attraction.

Absolute decline: Former Virgin nervously awaits results

Tomorrow, the audience figures for UK radio are released, and amongst those expecting an awkward time of it are the team at Absolute Radio, or Virgin as what it was called. They're expecting a large drop in audience:

Tomorrow's figures are expected to show a drop of about 10% to 15%. Absolute Radio would not comment on the size of the drop until the Rajar figures are officially published tomorrow at 7am.

However, management at Absolute Radio, who met advertising agencies today, said the station remained on course to hit its two-year audience target of 3.5 million listeners.

It's not entirely clear how the collapse of an already-declining audience is "on course" for a massive increase, unless the idea is to cull most of the old audience to make room for new ones. Like when you knock down twenty Victorian terrace houses and cram in thirty modern semis in place.

Apparently, the drop is because of the rebrand:

"We know from our internal research that a significant proportion of our audience still believe they are listening to a radio station branded Virgin," said the Absolute Radio programme and operations director, Clive Dickens.

"We are 15 weeks into our new brand as opposed to 15 years of Virgin Radio and 40 years of the Virgin brand. There has never been a rebrand of this scale in commercial radio before."

This is a bit confusing, though: if the people who are still listening think they're still listening to Virgin, does that mean the ones who have deserted are the ones who did realise the station was now something else entirely? It doesn't entirely give you confidence for the future if the people listening haven't noticed that it's changed.

It's also going to be a bit of an uphill sell to advertisers, isn't it? "Our audience apparently haven't noticed that for the last fifteen weeks we've been using a different name every ten minutes. Would you like to give us some money so that we can tell them about your product?"

It's all down to the RAJAR diary system:

Dickens said: "We strongly support the Rajar diary system, but knowing the name of the station you are listening to instinctively off the top of your head is one of the most important barometers for completing that diary.

"We feel there is a really strong set of explanations as to why we expect to receive a number that has gone backwards rather than forwards in the first 15 weeks. We know it is underreporting. The important thing for a media company like us is to stay focused on the end goal."

Perhaps. But if a listener goes to tick 'Virgin' in his diary, and it isn't there, shouldn't they then go "that's odd... oh, they're called Absolute now, aren't they?" After fifteen weeks, surely they should?

Seed's appeal falls on stony ground

Kev Seed won't be returning to Radio City; the company has rejected his appeal against his suspension.

In other atonement for sins at Bauer, Tim Shaw no longer works at Kerrang after fixing it for a mate to win a pre-recorded competition:

Shaw, who has since moved to Absolute Radio, admitted that he had fixed the competition but told the station's owners, Bauer, that he believed he was "doing the right thing by rewarding a loyal and deserving listener", who he knew suffered from a chronic and debilitating illness and was a fan of the Rolling Stones.

Wow. While it's nice to help someone with a nasty illness, if that was what Shaw wanted to do, wouldn't it have made more sense to just give him the prize rather than invent a fixed competition? What if other loyal and deserving listeners who loved the Stones and had chronic illnesses had tried to enter?

Tim Shaw is now working for Absolute Radio - what used to be Virgin - so at least he's somewhere where there are no listeners to harm.