Christmas lights left to carry season alone after Brian McFadden is a no-show

Heartbreaking times at the Trafford Centre in Trafford, as Brian McFadden gets stuck in traffic on the motorway and fails to turn up to do a couple of songs at the Christmas lights switch-on:

He was due to take the stage at 6:20pm bosses said but didn't arrive at the centre until shortly after 7pm by which time the lights had been switched on and bosses said it was too late for him to perform.

He has now apologised and pledged to return in the near future.

He tweeted: "Sorry to everyone at the trafford lights. Took 6 1/2 hours from london. Arrived 3 minutes late but trafford centre wouldnt wait. Sorry"

It's almost as if the management of the mall didn't really want McFadden to play - presumably if he'd turned up on time, a caretaker would have been sent down to suck teeth and say 'no, sorry, mate, not in those shoes on this surface'.

Still, the evening wasn't a total washout:

The lights were switched on by Coronation Street Natalie Gumede who is currently appearing in the latest series of Strictly Come Dancing.

She was joined at the event by her dance partner in the show Artem Chigvintsev.

Earlier there were performances from bands The Hoosiers and The Overtones as well as Richard and Adam from Britain's Got Talent.

You can imagine once you've sat through The Hoosiers and The Overtones you might start to be cooling on the idea of hearing anyone else sing again, ever.

Darkness at 3AM: Thinking of the children

The Mirror's gossip team stick their fingers into Kerry Katona's misery again:

Brian McFadden is so furious with ex Kerry Katona for yelling at their kids in a C4 show he has demanded they spend the summer holidays in Oz, with him. Molly, eight, and Lilly-Sue, seven, will fly to Sydney today. Brian said: "It really upsets me when she uses the kids in her TV shows. I don't like them being pawns in a story."

Yes. That's the best way to stop the kids being pawns in a story, by telling the press that you want the kids with you, away from being used as a cheap way of generating headlines.

Brian McFadden: Where's the respect?

Poor Brian McFadden is upset that, in Australia, he's known for his girlfriend:

"It can be a little frustrating at times," McFadden revealed. "I did something last night where they introduced me as Delta Goodrem's boyfriend Brian McFadden. It would be nice to have the tag: Brian McFadden, musician and singer. And Delta Goodrem's partner."

Well, yes. But you're probably a little better at being Delta's boyfriend than a musician and singer. Don't discount that as a talent.

So, with his new album out, there's a chance for Brian to show that he isn't just a boyfriend of someone more famous. To strike out. To stop riding on coat tails.

The album sleeve for Set In Stone sees Brian open his heart to Goodrem, who he has been dating since 2004.

He writes: "Delta, my angel. There are no words that could truly describe how much you mean to me or how much I love you. Since you came into my life, the world feels like a better place to be. Thank you for helping me find my vision to be the artist I can be.

"This album would never have happened if there were no you. Every word that leaves my lips is inspired by your greatness. I still can't take my eyes off of you. I love you."

Or perhaps he could just have the album credited to "Delta Goodrem's current boyfriend".

That's why Mum might spend less in Iceland

The continued pressure on Kerry Katona from the News of the World - they're only worried about the kiddies, obviously - has led to the re-entry of Brian McFadden into Cheshire's most horrible soap opera.

The NOTW has got in contact with Leighton Ogden, who claims to be Kerry's dealer:

Ogden told us: "Kerry cares more about drugs than anything in her life — her children included.

"When she's on one of her benders nothing matters except the gear. I've seen it, believe me. She just packs the kids off to bed so she can get wasted. All that family image stuff about her is rubbish."

There then follows a string of accusations similar to last week's. But hang about a minute - this is a drug dealer, a man who sells shit for money, selling a story to a Sunday newspaper. Doesn't that mean that we should at least approach his testimony with a degree of caution? And isn't it unusual that the NOTW, whose simplistic worldview would normally have a drug dealer dangling from its redtop gallows as soon as he set foot through the door, is not only handing him cash, but even portraying him as an extension of social services, suggesting what might be best for the kids:

"After what I've seen I reckon the girls would be better off with Brian. He seems a much more stable person and can give them the love and support they need."

Perhaps this signals a new policy at the NOTW - maybe we can expect a "what would a drug dealer do?" advice column.

Aware that they're on shaky ground, they try to cast Ogden as someone who is taking a brave move, perhaps after some sort of final-reel conversion:

Ogden, 20—who was Kerry's friend as well as one of her dealers — knows the implications of outing himself as a drug peddler.

"I've taken a personal risk talking about this—but Kerry needs a wake-up call to her get herself clean for the sake of the kids and herself," he said.

So, Ogden's prepared to put his head on the block because of the kiddies. But is that his only motivation?

After her birthday in September, Ogden had had enough. "She was nipping in and out of her bathroom, snorting. She kept asking me if I could get her more coke. I told her I couldn't.

"I never heard from Kerry after that. It was clear she had just used me to help her out but once I was no use I was dropped."

It's interesting that, during this long period of giving Katona more and more drugs, Ogden was so worried about the kiddies, but never actually seemed to think of doing anything until he was no longer selling Katona drugs. Strange that, eh?

The NOTW scooped this new evidence up and took it to Brian McFadden, to see what he would do:

After being informed of our latest revelations, the star told us: "Yes, it's true — I am seeking custody. I want my daughters back."

He has requested legal affidavits from a string of witnesses who told us about Kerry's past and current drug addiction. And he wants social services to launch an investigation into Kerry's fitness as a mother.

The most shocking thing about all this, though, is the discovery that Iceland pay Katona £170,000 a year. Surely her endorsement can't be so valuable as to make that back?

Brian McFadden isn't very bright

You have to wonder at Brian McFadden's brain, as he reveals he married Kerry Katona for the cash:

“It wasn’t a real wedding. We were getting married to get loads of money for it.”

Where did he think loads of money for a woman who was in a declining career was going to come from? It's like marrying Wayne Rooney for the conversation.

He also told Reveal mag: “I was too young to understand what having kids meant. Having a child was like getting a dog.”

That's a lovely quote for the kid's scrapbook. Let's just hope the RSPCA doesn't follow up his apparent belief that taking on a pet isn't a serious, long-term commitment.

It's odd, isn't it, that McFadden still gets all bristly when people suggest his relationship with Delta Goodrem might have been a bit of a cynical ploy.

Hope, and the absence of hope

Alone in a universe of people, Brian Harvey still holds out hope for another East 17 reunion:

"I hoped we could put all the old stuff behind us. Me, Terry and John are fine, but I just don't think Tony likes me! I honestly don't know what I've done, whether I've stolen the limelight or something. I'd still be up for doing the reunion, though."

Brian, chickadee, there's precious little limelight to be stolen from East 17 these days - you'd be hard put to read a large print novel in the glow of fame left for you lot.

Meanwhile, Westlife have firmly ruled out any chance of Brian McFadden returning, tail between legs or no:

NICKY BYRNE, 28, adds, "Let's put the record straight - there's no room for Brian in Westlife now. I haven't had this conversation with Brian, but there's no reason for him to want to be in Westlife now anyway."

Good lord, Nicky. There's no reason for anyone to want to be in Westlife - unless, perhaps, they've got explosives strapped under their jackets.

WHERE NOBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME

Sick of being called everywhere they go, Brian McFadden and Delta Goodrem are planning to start over by relocating to New York. Friends explain it all:

Brian felt it was time for a new start where no one knows them - or their past.

It's not clear why they've chosen New York, as virtually everywhere outside of Delta Goodrem's hometown would struggle to put a name to her face, and McFadden is slipping so quickly from people's minds he has to show ID to get into his own living room. Apparently, Delta believes that her career lies ahead of her in the US. Maybe if Jessica Simpson gets her own sitcom, and the standards are low, and there's a part for an aunt that doesn't require too much talking, and every actress in America is too busy with proper work, and the producers decide not to use a glove puppet.

We're sure the Australian Tourist Board will be delighted that Delta's very publicly chosen some place else.

[Updated 23/08/08 to reflect current site style; content unchanged]