Nicki Minaj: The age we live in now

Madame Tussauds in Las Vegas has had to issue a statement asking visitors to not take photos of themselves fucking Nicki Minaj's waxwork from behind:

Statement regarding Nicki Minaj’s Madame Tussauds wax figure pic.twitter.com/tnnyZL0BNX

— Madame Tussauds LV (@TussaudsVegas) August 18, 2015

It's an "interactive immersive experience" too far. It's curious that the venue is worried about disrespecting the waxwork, though, rather than disrespecting the person depicted in the waxwork.

Justin Bieber: You'll have been worrying about his hair

Madame Tussauds - the place where tourists go if they've been bad - is about to unveil a waxwork of Justin Bieber.

"It's been difficult" explained a spokesperson, "as we were having trouble with the face - no matter what we did, it looked glassy and unreal. In the end, we just had to go with it. After all, there was a waxwork company on the way to make an effigy of him."

The big question, though, is what sort of hair Tussauds' would give the faux-Bieber. You'll be delighted to hear they're going to use his bowl cut, presumably because it's a hell of a lot easier to make.

Ozzy: Former dark rock lords do the funniest things

If you're wondering what happened to Jeremy Beadle's soul, it appears that it jumped into Ozzy Osbourne:



Well, it's more amusing than those adverts he did with John Culshaw, I suppose.

Having seen the real Ozzy in the wax museum, tourists still complained that he didn't really look that lifelike.

[Thanks to Michael M]

One of these people isn't a people at all

Apparently someone's leaked a photo from the forthcoming The Seven Britneys Christmas Special, where acid reflux in the Tardis navigation system sees the seven regenerations of Britney meet up in a bid to try and stop Paris Hilton.

Oh, no, it turns out that Madame Tussauds has just launched a new Britney Spears waxwork - "to depict the pop star's return to form", and thought the best way to mark a plasticky model that doesn't really look like the star it's meant to represent would be calling in a bunch of people who don't look anything like Britney either.

And, for some reason, a Kelly Osbourne lookalike at the back right.

Naturally, such an event requires an explanation:

"We are delighted to be featuring Britney at Madame Tussauds London for the second time," said the venue's Liz Edwards.

"Her original figure captured a provocative pose from her 2001 Dream Within A Dream Tour and was extremely popular.

"However, she's undergone a huge transformation since then and we wanted to reflect her as she is now."

The cost of emotionally damaging the original waxwork beyond repair was exorbitant, so they made a new one. Boy, who knew that Tussauds would be willing to lose the iconic 2001 Any Dream Will Do tour look, or whatever it was. It's not like the schoolgirl/red pleather catsuit images were more iconic in the first place, is it?

I don't understand what the lemurs are doing there

Random pop star and lemur pictures? Whoever would think that was a good idea?

(Actually, it's lemurs on the loose at Madame Tussuad's to
promote the launch of Madagascar II. It says here.)

Gordon in the morning: Oh, Ricky, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind

It's hard to believe that Gordon Smart has found yet another story for his cutting edge gossipy story page involving Ricky Hatton - and this one involves a photo with Hatton's face covered in cold, dripping gunk and loving every minute of it.

Hatton is apparently being added to Louis Tussauds Hall of Fame in Blackpool, and was having his moulds made. Yes, yes, this is Gordon Smart running a story about a provincial waxworks adding a minor sports star to their uncannily wax-like models in 2008. Could Smart have found a non-story about an any more faded entertainment icon that would be of even less interest to his young audience?

PLAYBOY supremo HUGH HEFNER has lined up 19-year-old twin beauties to replace his “number one girlfriend”.

Oh, yes.

Winehouse a model character at last

Madam Tussauds, which is effectively a place designed to introduce foreign tourists to the very British delights of queueing for an hour in order to pay a small fortune to be slightly disappointed, have added an Amy Winehouse waxwork to their collection.

Amy has taken her place alongside other top attractions including thats-probably-Gordon-Brown, is-he-the-bloke-off-Flog-It and if-I-didn't-know-better-I'd-swear-that-was-the-girl-from-the-chip-shop-you-know-the-one-who-got-knocked-up-by-the-windowcleaner-with-the-wonky-eye-oh-hang-on-it's-Britney-Spears-isn't-it?

Her parents were impressed with the blank, waxen visage of their daughter, saying it was spot on:

As she walked round the model, her mother Janice gasped: "Wow. That's her!

"I was checking to make sure all her tattoos were there and they are!"

Without wanting to be too tactless, is it really appropriate to invite Janice and Mitch Winehouse down to identify a lifeless version of their daughter? A little too close to home, isn't it?

Newton leaves with a five year-old story

Yes, just because she's leaving doesn't mean that Newton hasn't got time to bring forward the big stories today. She's running a piece on Kylie's bum-in-the-air waxwork:

Kylie shamed by saucy waxwork

The admission came as the pop princess was immortalised with the unveiling of a brand new statue in her native Australia.

Actually, Victoria, the "admission" that Kylie didn't like the statue came when she spoke to the Kylie.co.uk website about it back in August 2002.

An open goal

Nsync unveil uncannily lifelike waxworks. The rest writes itself.