The Osmonds: A house divided

It's not just the increasingly brittle Tory party who are split in two over the idea of gay people having basic civil rights. That other battered, storied institution, The Osmonds, are also having a tough time of it.

Over in Utah, many of The Osmonds are actively campaigning against gay marriage, holding an event:

You'll note it starts with a "gather and mingle", although I'm assuming the mingling was tightly controlled to go girl, boy, girl, boy.

But you know who doesn't have time to listen to a teenager playing the piano in a bid to try and stop people they'll never meet getting married?

Marie Osmond, that's who. Marie's got something to say:

"The God that I believe in is a god of love, not fear. I don't tell my children if you're not good you're going to Hell. I tell my children that God will be there for them when they struggle. That's the God I believe in...I believe in [my daughter's] civil rights, as a mother. I think my daughter deserves everything that she desires in life. She's a good girl. She's a wonderful child. I don't think God made one color flower. I think he made many..."

You know, it might be churlish to point out here that there's not really any doubt that there are many flowers. Although the God making them bit isn't exactly factual.

So let's just applaud Marie Osmond's warmth, and remember that Not All Osmonds Think The Same.

Michelle Shocked tapes mouth, stages protest

Can't help feeling that Michelle Shocked might have done a better job salvaging her image if she'd stuck a bit of duct tape over her mouth before she embarked on the anti-gay rant, rather than outside one of the venues which subsequently canned her.

Shocked is trying to claim that the withdrawal of a platform is akin to being silenced. That would be muddle-headed enough from someone who hadn't lived the life of an activist, but from Shocked is just heartbreakingly crass.

Nobody is silencing you, Michelle. But that doesn't mean that anyone wants to listen to you.

Bookmarks: Amazon

[via The Daily WTF

Gordon in the morning: Robbie Williams so desperate to be in Oasis he's trying to start a war with Blur

Does anyone really care what Robbie Williams thinks about Blur? Really? Tell us then, Gordon:

he singled out Alex for criticism after accusing The Sun columnist of “not being very nice to him”.

Robbie said: “Alex is the bassist in Blur — my nan could do that. All she needs is a new haircut.”

Let's not pause to reflect that being in Take That is a job so simple, Howard Donald is able to hold the role down, and just probe this further.

It turns out that Williams is carrying a grudge:

He explained he first met the band during a TV show appearance in Manchester with TAKE THAT when he was just 16. Robbie said: “From what I now know, looking back, they were suffering from a little bit of middle-class angst.

“I did feel like I was part of the s*** beneath their shoes for being in a boyband.”

There's a bit of confusion between class angst and artistic angst there, and there's the other possibility that maybe Take That, and Robbie in particular, were annoying back then. ("Back then".)

It all ends up with Robbie wailing that he's the victim here:

He said: “There is a lot of snobbery towards pop music, to me and pop in general — it’s kind of a despised art form.

“There’s a lot of ‘Check out that fat ****, he’d be nothing without GUY CHAMBERS.’

“I’m coming from a place of, ‘Hang on, I’m being picked on here, I don’t like it.’”

Actually, Robbie, pop doesn't need you to defend it; it's like KFC defending Fast Food: might be from the field, but not the best placed to argue the value of what they do.

And put your mind at rest, Robbie. Nobody says you'd be nothing without Guy Chambers. They also acknowledge that you'd be lost without Gary Barlow, too.

Guitarobit: Jay Smith

Jay Smith, guitarist for Matt Mays, has died. Mays published an announcement on Facebook:

Folks,

Our guitar player and dear friend Jay Smith passed away this morning in Edmonton. As you can all imagine, we are completely devastated. However, in our heart of hearts we know that we need to Play on. Jay's family as well as the band know he would have wanted it that way. All the proceeds from the remaining shows will be put into a trust for his two beautiful children. Jay's wit, charm, and unparalleled love of music will never be forgotten.

He was our brother and he will live in our hearts and song forever.

Matt, Serge, Damien, Adam and Matt

Smith won the 2009 East Coast Music Award for Songwriter of the year; he led his own band, Rock Ranger, for most of the first decade of this century, joining up with Mays' backing group El Torpedo from 2007. He also released a free solo collection through Bandcamp.

No details about the cause of death have been made public.

Glastonbury 2013: Gimme shelter, perhaps in Joe Banana's tent while it rains

The Rolling Stones are taking a hell of a risk agreeing to headline Glastonbury, surely? It can take so long to get out the car park there they might end up burning through the whole of the time they're allowed to be on UK soil before they become eligible for paying tax here.

Gordon in the morning: Blown off by Blue

Over in the TV part of Gordon's empire this morning, news that Blue are overestimating their own importance:

REUNITED boy band Blue have infuriated ITV bosses after agreeing to perform at only FOUR of The Big Reunion’s 12 tour dates this summer.

Lee Ryan, Duncan James, Simon Webbe and Antony Costa will be seen performing live in the final episode of the ITV2 show, airing at 9pm tonight.

But they opted out of the full Live Nation UK tour, which stars Atomic Kitten, B*Witched, 911, 5ive, Liberty X and Honeyz.

Ah, it's like the heady days back at the start of the century, when Blue would often pop up overestimating their significance in the grand scheme of things. Although now they're overestimating their significance in a not-so-grand scheme of things.

Borrell pauses unloved band for unlovely solo career

Did you know that Razorlight are still going? Or, at least, they were, only Johnny Borrell has put them on hold. Why, Johnny?

He told French radio station Oui FM: "Razorlight are going to play The Olympia in Paris on April 3rd and after that it's Johnny Borrell, for the moment, and that's Freddy who plays in Razorlight, and Joao who comes from Brazil, who we met playing his saxophone in the street, and it's Darren who plays keyboards."

He's talking about himself both in the third person, and as if he was another three people.

Johnny Borrell stopping Razorlight to concentrate on a band who exist solely to aggrandise Johnny Borrell. It's not much of a difference, is it?

Thank you, ITV2. Thank you very much.

Fun quiz! Here's an extract from The Book Of Revelations. But, hidden inside, there's a Tweet from Natasha Hamilton announcing a new single from Atomic Kitten. Can you spot which bit is that most terrible thing?

To the Church in Pergamum

12 “To the angel of the church in Pergamum write:

These are the words of him who has the sharp, double-edged sword. 13 I know where you live—where Satan has his throne. Yet you remain true to my name. You did not renounce your faith in me, not even in the days of Antipas, my faithful witness, who was put to death in your city—where Satan lives.

14 Nevertheless, I have a few things against you: There are some among you who hold to the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to entice the Israelites to sin so that they ate food sacrificed to idols and committed sexual immorality. 15 Likewise, you also have those who hold to the teaching of the Nicolaitans. 16 I'm off the studio to vocal @AtomicKOfficial potential come-back single!! Could today get anymore freakin' exciting! 17 Repent therefore! Otherwise, I will soon come to you and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth.

18 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it.

Sandie Shaw appears before parliament

Yesterday the Culture, Media & Sport select committee was doing some thinking about the creative industries, which included an appearance by Sandie Shaw.

It's been written up in some places as an attack on Mumford And Sons, but... well, not really:

Finance is the biggest barrier for emerging artists.

At the moment, unless you’re Mumford & Sons and come from a public school and have a rich family that can support you, you’re on the dole and you’re trying to work and by the time you get a sniff of a record contract you just grab anything that they might offer you.”

That's not so much an attack on Mumfords as the lack of support for people who don't have their private means of support, surely? (And the gap is going to get worse, again, as Duncan Smith's punish-the-poor measures kick in in a few days.)

Shaw's not impressed by the alternative, Cowell-driven model, either:

“So many artists are disadvantaged,” she said. “They cannot start because of their background and the best music comes from those in challenging backgrounds, it comes from Glasgow, Manchester, Essex, it comes from places and people that are really struggling to make some meaning out of their existence.

“So all we’re getting is a load of Simon Cowell-type stuff that is being paid for and owned by people and the artists are just mere puppets.”

Yes. What chance do artists who take their first steps through a mere talent show have of creating great art like Sandie Shaw? Remind me, Daily Telegraph, how did Sandie Shaw's early struggle shape itself?

Shaw, whose real name is Sandra Goodrich, was working at the Ford car plant in Dagenham and as a part time model when she took part in a talent contest at the age of 17. Coming second, she got to take part in a charity concert and was seen by Adam Faith, the singer, whose manager won her a contract and gave her the stage name and topped the charts that year – 1964 – with (There’s) Always Something There To Remind Me.

But that was a totally different type of impressario sweeping up a talent show winner and giving them a recording contract.

Still, it's not like Faith was a Cowell-esque figure forcing Shaw to do work she didn't much care for, is it? Is it, Wikipedia?

Shaw had originally performed the song as one of five prospective numbers to represent the United Kingdom in the 1967 Eurovision Song Contest on The Rolf Harris Show. She had never been taken with the idea of taking part in the contest but her discoverer, Adam Faith, had talked her into it, saying it would keep her manager Eve Taylor happy. Taylor wanted to give Shaw a more cabaret appeal and felt that this was the right move - and also felt that it would get Shaw back in the public's good books as she had recently been involved in a divorce scandal.

Of the five songs performed, "Puppet on a String" was Shaw's least favourite. In her own words "I hated it from the very first oompah to the final bang on the big bass drum. I was instinctively repelled by its sexist drivel and cuckoo-clock tune." She was disappointed when it was selected as the song she would use to represent the country, but it won the contest hands down, though it has always been felt that this was partly due to her existing popularity on the continent (she had recorded most of her hit singles in French, Italian, German and Spanish).

Oh.

Still, none of that should distract us from her main, valid point: a lot of British creativity has been nurtured by young people using time on the dole to develop a voice. You could argue that a guitarist writing songs while out of work is doing something to help with his "job search" - but the system has no way of recognising that.

It's true that if you force a young Jarvis Cocker to work stacking shelves for nothing in Poundland, he'll get a lot of ideas for songs. But you'd need to give him some space to write the things down.

Jodeci: You never get a third chance to make a second impression

Late last week, there was a 90s nostalgia night (and, readers who are my age, don't think too deeply about that phrase, lest you start to install a stairlift) at Wembley Arena. It was an R&B night, with bands like Blackstreet, SWV, Dru Hill. Oh, and Jodeci.

Jodeci were so bad, that even at a gig watched by people happy to pay cash to see faded R&B stars, they managed to piss the audience off.

Soulculture details the nightmare in glorious detail:

The moment Jodeci appeared on stage professionalism didn’t appear to be at the top of their agenda. Just 30 seconds in and Mr. Dalvin decided to jump off stage like a long jumper to then find he couldn’t get back on it. After being told to get back on the stage by his group, a swift leg up from a steward put the singer back in the spotlight.

Things then went from bad to worse swiftly. Just one song in and the entire sold out audience started booing the once iconic group. Not looking like they knew what they were doing at all, there were points throughout that they were singing out of sync to the point no one actually knew what it was they were singing.

Surely anyone looking at that line-up would have thought "let's leave after SWV" anyway?

Spotify to try TV advertising

In a bid to become the Kings And Queens of music streaming, Spotify are taking to the TV to advertise their wares.

Oddly, it seems Spotify have chosen an expensive, lush, produced advert, which compares strangely with the bursty, shouty adverts they host on their own service. Almost like they don't really think that approach would be very effective.

The advert is going to be flung onto The Voice, prime-time on NBC. So not really being targeted at anyone who cares about music.

Motownobit: Deke Richards

Deke Richards, Motown songwriter, has died.

Richards was one of the four members of The Clan, and - after the Clan disbanded - was one of the four members of The Corporation - alongside Berry Gordy, Alphonzo Mizell and Freddie Perren. Both groups of songwriters were created by Berry Gordy, desperate to avoid the creation of more "back room superstars" after Holland-Dozier-Holland grew too large for the label.

Although only partially successful at burying the characters of the team, both groups did well as creative forces. The Clan was short-lived, but produced a couple of outstanding tracks for Diana Ross & The Supremes:

The Corporation were even more powerful creatively:

The team was disbanded in 1972 - their main focus had been writing for the Jackson 5, a role that was being taken on by Hal David. Subsequently, Motown relented and allowed their group credit to be replaced by the names of the individuals involved.

Last year, Richards was involved in selecting and polishing a collection of Jackson 5 rarities, Come And Get It.

Deke Richards had been suffering from oesophageal cancer. He died March 24th, at the age of 68.

Blur/Oasis: If they bury that hatchet any deeper, even Tony Robinson won't be able to reach it

Well, it's a happy ending of sorts: A Blur/Oasis crossover edition marking the end of the Britpop wars:

Former Britpop rivals Noel Gallagher and Damon Albarn have buried the hatchet and performed together at a charity concert.

Oasis guitarist Gallagher joined Blur singer Albarn and his bandmate Graham Coxon at a Teenage Cancer Trust gig at the Royal Albert Hall in London.

At long last, they've buried the hatchet.

Except... hadn't they already done that?

According to The Onion's AV Club, the pair buried the hatchet last May, when Albarn offered Noel the chance to sing along with soem Burundian drummers:

Blur's Damon Albarn, Oasis' Noel Gallagher bury the Britpop hatchet, finally

Albarn says he'd be happy to collaborate with the onetime brains behind Oasis who's since gone solo. "Well, why not?" Albarn says. "He should come on the Africa Express train [an Albarn-formed music collective] in September." Self-serving, sure, but a nice sentiment all the same.

Bit harsh to call Noel Gallagher "onetime brains". I'm sure he's used them on at least three occasions.

But hang on, surely the hatchet was buried before that? In February of 2012, when Albarn announced the cessation of hostilities at a post-Brits party:

Gallagher, 44, kissed both hands of Albarn, 43, before planting a smacker on his lips in front of shocked guests including Professor Green, Cesc Fabregas, Adam Deacon and Coldplay's Chris Martin.

Albarn, who had earlier collected the lifetime achievement award with his Blur bandmates, said: "It's funny to think Blur were last here 17 years ago when we were big rivals. Isn't it funny how we've both mellowed after all these years? We've buried the hatchet."

No, hold on. It was back in October 2011, wasn't it? The hatchet was buried back then, when Noel was generous in a Shortlist interview:

"Funnily enough, when I was out last night, I bumped into him," Gallagher told ShortList of Albarn. "I literally haven't seen the guy for 15 f**king years and I bump into him in some club.

"We both went, 'Hey! F**king hell!' and then he said, 'Come on, let's go for a beer'. So, we're sitting there, having a beer, just going, 'What the f**k was all that about 15 years ago? That was mental'.

"Then he said, 'It was a great time, though', and I was like, 'Yeah, it was a f**king good laugh'. It was cool, man."

In fact, Blur and Oasis have been burying the hatchet now for the best part of a decade. Here's The Guardian in 2004:

Just over nine years later, it looks as though Blur frontman Damon Albarn and Oasis songwriter Noel Gallagher will finally bury the hatchet - both have signed up to perform on the new Band Aid charity record, due to be released in time for Christmas.

The Britpop feud might have been a great marketing scam. But, boy, the hatchet-burying is proving to be something of a strong pension scheme.

You know what the immigration debate really needs? Minor celebrities

As if the world wasn't already knee-deep in people who don't know what they're talking about, talking about immigration, we're now being blessed with The Cheeky Girls sharing their insight.

Shall we see what they have to say?

“It’s too easy to claim child benefit and send the money to children back in Romania,” says Monica. “That’s wrong.”

No, Monica. You're wrong.

At the moment, if your child lives in Romania then the most you could claim for would be eight weeks of child benefit, assuming they'd just returned to Romania, although there are some ways to claim a portion beyond eight weeks. But not what I'd describe as being "easy" ways to make a claim beyond that time.

Gabriela adds: “No one should be allowed to claim benefits unless they have worked here for a year.”

It's an interesting idea. And one of those things that doesn't sound unreasonable, until you ask how Gabriela ended up at this 'one year' cut off point. Is that a meaningful, reasoned point she's come up with, or has she just plucked a period of time out of the air?

Monica chips in: “And then they should only be allowed to claim benefits for a year before being asked to go home."

Hang about... someone has worked for a year in the UK, and then - I'd say 'struggled', I suspect the Cheeky Girls would say 'lived large' - been on benefits for a year. That's two years. How do you then decide that 'home' is somewhere else? If you're twenty, and spent ten percent of your life - all your adult life - in one country, how can a Cheeky Girl decide where that person should believe their home is.

Unless what Monica means is that people should go back where they came from. Now, where have I heard sentiments like that before?

Monica then undercuts her own outrage:

“Even during the bad times when our record label went bust we never considered claiming benefits."

Yes. And you know what, Girls, most people are like that. Most people are like you. They're not rushing about to cadge a few quid for doing nothing here and there. They might want to come to and work here; they might want to come to Britain to go on one of our talent shows and build some sort of career popping up on chat shows and the crueller panel games. Why do you think anyone else from Romania would be any different to you?

(Is it wrong to suggest that applying for benefits might be a more honest way to feed yourself than, say, just helping yourself from Sainsburys, by the way?)

But you know what? If you needed help from the state - from the rest of us - you should have asked. Because we're happy to help out. Because we're clever enough to understand that while today you might need a bit of assistance with paying the bills or covering the rent, yesterday you were sharing some of your earnings from The Big Fat Quiz Of The Year through the tax system, and tomorrow, when you find some more work, you'll become a contributor again.

Because it's called sharing. And because even if you didn't claim benefits directly, you benefitted from the way we work together in this country - to provide broadcasting infrastructure and make Never Mind The Buzzcocks; to keep trains running to take fans to signings; to build hospitals and a legal system where someone can make a mistake stealing groceries from a shop but still get treated with even-handed fairness. It's all part of the same thing.

And for two people who have done really rather well out of the State we've all created in the UK to suddenly suggest we change the way behave to anyone who might come later really reeks of hypocrisy.

This week just gone

The most-shared things on Twitter, ever, ever, ever:

1. Noel Gallagher thinks things were better when Thatcher was around
2. U2's manager wants to save the music industry
3. The Olympics closing ceremony
4. A pigeon poops in the very mouths of the Kings Of Leon
5. RIP: John Barry
6. Kerrang Awards shortlist 2012
7. RIP: Nic Potter
8. Cher offers to follow you for money
9. Gennaro Castaldo on treating file sharing like drink driving
10. Gary Barlow worried about canibalism

These were this week's interesting releases:


Marnie Stern - The Chronicles Of Marnia

Download The Chronicles Of Marnia



Low - The Invisible Way

Download The Invisible Way



Suede - Bloodsports

Download Bloodsports



Billy Bragg - Tooth And Nail

Download Tooth And Nail



Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Specter At The Feast

Download Specter At The Feast - WARNING: MP3 VERSION INCLUDES IDENTIFYING CRUD

Lennon musical plans coagulate together

Could there be any idea worse than a musical based on multimillionaire ascetic John Lennon's life?

Apparently, yes:

Cast frontman John Power is to portray John Lennon in a new musical

Contactmusic looks on the bright side:

Power is a great choice to play the rock legend - he went to the same Liverpool schools as Lennon.

David Cameron went to the same school as George Orwell. Not entirely sure this means Cameron would be the obvious person to play Orwell in a dramatisation of Down And Out In Paris And London.

My Chemical Romance: Going the Gerard Way of all flesh

My Chemical Romance have split up, as part of an austerity drive. The music business decided it no longer needed to keep an emergency Green Day on hand.

Here's their official statement:

"Being in this band for the past 12 years has been a true blessing. We've gotten to go places we never knew we would. We've been able to see and experience things we never imagined possible. We've shared the stage with people we admire, people we look up to, and best of all, our friends. And now, like all great things, it has come time for it to end. Thanks for all of your support, and for being part of the adventure."

It's not clear what they have experienced that they couldn't have imagined. Maybe they've had their insides replaced by space squid.

The main difference in the post My Chemical Romance world is that a large number of early middle-aged men have just called their mother's homes to say alright, they can take down the poster now. "But leave the Korn one up, ma. Leave the Korn one up."

Twittergem: James Blunt

To be fair to James Blunt, this is a pretty deft and measured response:

[Thanks to Michael M]

Bookmarks: Madonna

Oh, here's some sweet joy: Malcriada has uncovered Madonna's first clothing line:

What's really interesting here is how, back in the 80s, there was no pretence that the star name attached to the line was actually doing the designing. Wouldn't get that now, would you?

There's the whole of the spread at Malcriada's Tumblr.

Robbie Williams: Now Menswear wade in

After Robbie Williams' attack on second-string indie bands has lead to a major skirmish.

Contactmusic is reporting from the frontline:

Menswear? Star? That's a bit of a stretch, surely?

It's the drummer, Matt Everitt, who has at least had a post-Menswe@r career in radio - he's the only one of the band who has his own Wikipedia page. On this basis, the Times have handed him an op-ed slot to start the fightback:

"I find it amusing that Robbie Williams... can let one comment from Brett Anderson... get his back up... It's quite endearing, but also slightly worrying...

"Menswear weren't manufactured, but I can see why people went on about the whole style over substance thing with us... We actually used to go on stage to Back For Good by Take That, a staggeringly great pop single. In the mid-nineties there wasn't really any rivalry between pop groups and the guitar bands...

"Traditionally your big pop acts allow record labels to invest in guitar bands, because they take longer to develop. Some rock bands take a few albums before they start making money and those tend to be the bands, like U2 and Radiohead, that in the longterm become important and fund everything. It's always been like that."

And that's an important point. It's worth remembering that even when Take That came off the production line, it took them four goes before they managed a hit; some of the bands slated by Williams didn't get given the same space to develop a following before the label pulled the plug.

Also apologising: Robbie Williams

Brett Anderson said something relatively uncontroversial about how in the 1990s, record labels were churning out boybands:

"There has always been cr*p pop music.

I remember when we had all the crap boybands in the 90s — stuff like that has always been around.

The lack of money in the music industry created a crisis.

Record companies don't have the resources to take a gamble, so these pop stars are created by committee."

I think you'd see the point - A1, Blue, 5ive. You could do a list.

Obviously, not everything that came from the conveyor belt was bad - in the same way that some things on sale in Tesco are actually quite toothsome. And it was twenty years ago, so who could possibly get upset?

Step forward the biggest battery hen of them all, Robbie Williams to speak up for the factory farming:

NOW THIS WAS AT THE HEIGHT OF WHAT WAS BRITPOP AND MAINSTREAM INDIE.

RECORD COMPANIES DON'T/DIDN'T HAVE THE RESOURCES TO GAMBLE?

I THINK NOT …

ANY QUARTER-DECENT 3 CHORD KNOBHEADS COULD AND DID GET A DEAL IN THE 90'S ….

I WON'T NAME NAMES COS IT WOULD BE UNFAIR ON

ECHOBELLY, SHED 7, SYMPOSIUM, MENSWEAR, SLEEPER,
HURRICANE NUMBER 1, RIDE, THE BLUETONES (APART FROM THAT ONE SONG),
OCEAN COLOUR SCENE (APART FROM THAT ONE SONG...HANG ON NAH NOT EVEN THAT SONG)
NORTHERN UPROAR, CHAPTERHOUSE, CURVE, SALAD, ADORABLE, CUD, SPACEHOG,
KULA SHAKER, THE AUDIENCE, POWDER, KING MAKER, GENEVA (SUB-SUEDE - CAN YOU IMAGINE?)

-

SHOULD I GO ON? COS I CAN AND THEY SURE FUCKING DID

THERE WERE A FEW SPECIAL INDIE BANDS THEN JUST AS THERE ARE IN EVERY GENERATION ….
AND JUST AS SOME POP BANDS ARE USELESS, SOME ARE MAGNIFICENT IN EVERY GENERATION
I FEEL SORRY FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE TOO BIGOTED TO APPRECIATE THE LATTER

THE WORLD'S A LOT MORE EXCITING WITH A ONE DIRECTION IN IT

AND MORE HEARTS WILL GENUINELY RACE AT A NEW 1D ALBUM
THAN THEY EVER HAVE OR WILL AT ANY SUEDE ALBUM IN ANY TIME PERIOD

SORRY ABOUT THE TRUTH

There's something of a major leap from Brett saying "some boybands were crap" to Williams glossing this as Brett dismissing pop in its entirety.

And I'm not even going to start pointing out that a man who cannot see the difference between, say, Kula Shaker and Adorable probably shouldn't be commenting about music at all.

Or that Williams makes a schoolboy error of actually proving Anderson's wider point - yes, more people will be excited by One Direction than by Suede, precisely because that's where the music industry shoves its investment.

Or that Williams' defeated shuffle back to Take That, tail between legs, is an example of Music Industry Attitude in sixty-foot high letters: 'why do something interesting and new when you can shake cash out of the same-old, same-old'?

Let's just skip to the damage limitation post from a short while later:

ON CLOSER INSPECTION RE MY LAST BLOG
IT WOULD APPEAR THAT I'VE GONE OFF ON TANGENT NOT ENTIRELY
CREATED BY MR BRETT ANDERSON OF POP COMBO SUEDE

IT WON'T BE THE LAST TIME THAT THIS HAPPENS
AND IT FELT GOOD TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST

THANK YOU BRETT… SUEDE'S NEW ALBUM BLOODSPORTS OUT NOW ….
IT'S GOOD TOO…

Yes, a multimillionaire really, really needed to spurt a little bile into the faces of the members of Symposium. I can see how their low-twenties chart career must have been eating away at you for the last two decades.

Mich-understood? Shocked claims hate was example

Last Sunday, Michelle Shocked managed to trash her reputation by standing on stage in San Francisco and announcing that gay marriage would bring about Armageddon (the Jesus not Willis version).

After three days of being called out, gigs being pulled and former fans back-masking The Texas Campfire Tapes to see if she'd hidden 'Jesus is Lord' messages in the songs, Shocked has finally responded with a statement.

Why, yes, of course there's a reasonable explanation - she wasn't talking about what she believes, it was just what "some folks" believe:

I do not, nor have I ever, said or believed that God hates homosexuals (or anyone else). I said that some of His followers believe that. I believe intolerance comes from fear, and these folks are genuinely scared. When I said "Twitter that Michelle Shocked says "God hates faggots," I was predicting the absurd way my description of, my apology for, the intolerant would no doubt be misinterpreted. The show was all music, and the audience tweets said they enjoyed it. The commentary came about ten minutes later, in the encore.

And to those fans who are disappointed by what they've heard or think I said, I'm very sorry: I don't always express myself as clearly as I should. But don't believe everything you read on facebook or twitter. My view of homosexualty has changed not one iota. I judge not. And my statement equating repeal of Prop 8 with the coming of the End Times was neither literal nor ironic: it was a description of how some folks - not me - feel about gay marriage.

Here's the thing, though. You know that the couple of paragraphs wasn't my words, but somebody else's, because I introduced it as such (and formatted it differently).

Shocked doesn't appear to have used a framing device.

Likewise, if I decided I wanted to draw attention to people who want to punch kittens, I'd not do a post which simply said "Let's punch kittens" as I think I'd be unwise to expect readers to somehow grasp that I'd lurched unannounced into the character of a kitten-puncher.

And even if I did do that, I think I'd not need three days of 'Music blogger calls for kitten pain' response before realising that people had thought I wanted cats attacked and grudgingly released an explanation that, no, I was just pretending to be a feline fighter. For some reason.

The bigger problem with Shocked's explanation is that people were taping the gig and a transcript destroys this idea that there was some sort of third party defence:

"From their vantage point – and I really shouldn't say 'their', because it's mine too – we are nearly at the end of time," she is heard to say, "and from our vantage point, we're gonna be – I think maybe Chinese water torture is going to be the method. Once Prop 8 gets [repealed] and once preachers are held at gunpoint and forced to marry the homosexuals, I'm pretty sure that that will be the signal for Jesus to come on back."

But, hey, maybe it she wasn't simply doing it in the character of a person who believed this shit, but doing it in a metacharacter of someone who believed it, but wanted to distance themselves from it slightly.

Back to the statement, then. Having opened the sluice gates of asshattery, Shocked then calls for people to forgive the asshats:

The show, and the rant, was spontaneous. As for those applauding my so-called stance that "God Hates Faggots," I say they should be met with mercy, not hate. And I hope that what remains of my audience will meet that intolerance with understanding, even of those who might hate them.

Yes, that's right. If someone hates you because of who you love, it's up to you to make the adjustments to tolerate their hatred.

On she ploughs:

Folks wonder about my sexuality, but denying being gay is like saying I never beat my husband.

I think this is meant to be a reference to the loaded 'when did you stop hitting your wife' question, but... this is meaningless, right? The model would only work if she said 'being asked if I'm still gay is like being asked if I'm still beating my husband'.

My sexuality is not at issue.

That's the first sensible thing she's said so far. This isn't about her sexuality at all. Other things it's not about are cheese, horticulture and water towers.

What is being questioned is my support for the LGBT community, and that has never wavered.

Except for a few moments ago when you suggested that it's incumbent on the LGBT community to understand and tolerate people who would see them dead, or degayed-through-prayer, or whatever.

Music and activism have always been part of my work and my journey, which I hope and intend to continue. I'd like to say this was a publicity stunt, but I'm really not that clever, and I'm definitely not that cynical.

Also, Michelle, if it had been a publicity stunt, 'reminding people I exist and then making them wish I had never made a record' would have been a pretty dreadful stunt.

But I am damn sorry. If I could repeat the evening, I would make a clearer distinction between a set of beliefs I abhor, and my human sympathy for the folks who hold them. I say this not because I want to look better. I have no wish to hide my faults, and - clearly - I couldn't if I tried.

With love,

Michelle

How would you go about making the distinction clearer, Michelle? Perhaps by not saying "it's my vantage point too".

Or maybe the only distinction between you and a standard class asshole is the other assholes haven't just had an entire US tour axed.

There was a second statement which followed, which somehow tries to suggest that there's something "punk" about putting the doctrine of evangelical fundamentalists ahead of just letting people who love each other say so in a public forum:

I believe in a God who loves everyone, and my faith tells me to do my best to also love everyone. Everyone: gay or straight, stridently gay, self-righteously faithful; left or right, far left, far right; good, bad, or indifferent. That's the law: everyone.

I may disagree with someone's most fervently held belief, but I will not hate them. And in this controversy, that means speaking for Christians with opinions I in no way share about homosexuality. Will I endorse them? Never. Will I disavow them? Never.

I stand accused of forsaking the LGBT community for a Christianity which is – hear me now - anathema to my understanding of faith. I will no doubt take future flack for saying so. I'm accused of believing that "God hates fags" and that the repeal of Prop 8 will usher in the End Times. Well, if I caused such an absurdity, I am damn sorry. To be clear: I am not now, nor have I ever been, a member of any so-called faith preaching intolerance of anyone. Again, anyone: straight or gay, believers or not: that's the law.

That means upholding my punk rock values in the most evangelical enclaves and, in this case, speaking up for the most fearful of fundamentalists in, well, a San Francisco music hall full of Michelle Shocked fans.

As an artist in this time of unbearable culture wars, I understand: this means trouble, and this is neither the first nor last time trouble has come my way. And that's fine by me.

I know the fear many in the evangelical community feel about homosexual marriage, as I understand the fear many in the gay community feel toward the self-appointed faithful. I have and will continue speaking to both. Everything else – facebook, twitter, whatever – is commentary.

Let's not see this as a shabby attempt to try and salvage a career, and take it at at least one of its faces' value and ask: if Shocked really was trying to 'speak up for evangelicals', why did she feel the need?

Does she really think that people in San Francisco haven't heard the bullshit over and over again? That with Fox News, and Westboro Baptist Church, and Utah-based attempts to rig the Prop 8 vote through endless TV commercials, that people in the city might not have heard what fundamentalists think, again and again and again and a-fucking-gain.

There are many, many platforms where these groups express their views, where they wave the Holy Books they don't quite understand, and declaim.

What gap in the discourse did Shocked think she was plugging?

But even if you do buy this line - then how was merely parroting their words supposed to be of value?

You could imagine Shocked doing the ranty bit, with quote marks around it, and then - like a Culture Wars Yarwood - segueing into a 'and this is me' bit, perhaps trying to find some common ground, or saying 'look, here's the reason why these people think this...' But there was none of that.

Standing in a room and saying 'let's punch kittens' isn't moving on a debate about punching kittens.

Michelle Shocked isn't so stupid as to not understand that.

The apology?

And it's every month I tear it up and mail the damn thing back/
Did you think that would make it alright, did you think I would fall for that?

File sharing not killing music after all, it turns out

It's not Girls Aloud coming to a graceful end; that other music industry trouper, the claim that file sharing hurts music sales, has pretty much been laid to rest as well: Extensive research from the European Union confirms what a lot of us have thought all along: unlicensed listening doesn't really take money from anywhere else:

The goal of this paper is to analyze the behavior of digital music consumers on the Internet.Using clickstream data on a panel of more than 16,000 European consumers, we estimate theeffects of illegal downloading and legal streaming on the legal purchases of digital music. Ourresults suggest that Internet users do not view illegal downloading as a substitute to legal dig-ital music. Although positive and significant, our estimated elasticities are essentially zero: a10% increase in clicks on illegal downloading websites leads to a 0.2% increase in clicks on legalpurchases websites. Online music streaming services are found to have a somewhat larger (butstill small) effect on the purchases of digital sound recordings, suggesting complementaritiesbetween these two modes of music consumption. According to our results, a 10% increase in clicks on legal streaming websites lead to up to a 0.7% increase in clicks on legal digital purchases websites. We find important cross country difference in these effects.

So - it differs a bit from country to country, but broadly speaking, there's a tiny positive effect, and - oh joy - even legal streaming leads to a small rise in actual sales.

Even if you accept that the upswings are as small as to be zero, that's still no negative effect.

You don't, of course, take down one of the RIAA-IFPI shibboleths with data and expect the music industry to admit they've been wrong. So they try a response to tear the research to shreds. It doesn't quite work:

IFPI believes the JRC study is flawed and misleading. The findings seem disconnected from commercial reality, are based on a limited view of the market and are contradicted by a large
volume of alternative third party research that confirms the negative impact of piracy on the
legitimate music business

Let's just look at that a little closer, shall we?

"Flawed and misleading" is quite a big claim - one suggesting incompetence and one duplicity. You better have something strong and convincing to follow that up.

"The findings seem disconnected from commercial reality". And, really, they don't. "This survey doesn't confirm what I believe, so it must be wrong" is just piffle.

"are based on a limited view of the market" - this seems to be the objection that the survey takes no account of legal streaming. Except it does. Look, that bit we quoted up there makes it clear that the impact of legal streaming on the download market is part of the thing they were investigating. Bit misleading to complain that research hasn't investigated the effect of legal streaming on legal streaming, isn't it?

"and are contradicted by a large volume of alternative third party research that confirms the negative impact of piracy on the legitimate music business" - nice to see the music industry calling itself a legitimate business. There's a pleasing Corleone ring to that.

I think this existence of contradictory data is upon which the IFPI are building the claim of the survey being misleading.

Trouble is, two of the three surveys are referenced by the EU survey - their findings detailed, and proper references given; the intention being that people read them alongside the EU findings.

To not have included the research which contradicts their findings would have been misleading. You know, like if the music industry issued a press release which only cherry picked research which agreed with them and ignored the research which took an opposing position. Like this one.

So what of the flaws? The IFPI details a "key example" - which apparently is so key they need no further examples:

A key example of this problem is the treatment of iTunes ‘clicks’ by Nielsen. iTunes is a major legal music service and an essential data point in establishing legal music consumption. Nielsen measures use of the iTunes application, which involves any activity around iTunes - such as a user simply plugging their iPhone into the PC (which launches the iTunes application), a user listening to music via iTunes, a user synchronising their Apple device with their PC, a user renting a film on iTunes, or downloading a game app. Each one of these instances are counted as an iTunes ‘click’ and considered as legal music behaviour by the JRC. This severely impacts the results and is not a good proxy for legitimate music consumption

Does Nielsen really count someone launching a desktop application as a click on a website? If that's true, then the methodology flaw is Nielsen's. (I've dropped an email to the IFPI to check where they're getting this definition of a click from.)

Even if we take this at its word - although people who still sync iPhones with PCs are hardly going to have much of a grasp on modern technology - there's no indication of how "severely" the impact of this is. (Really? Every time someone starts and stops a song and starts another one of their desktop iTunes player Nielsen adds a click on iTunes? That's extraordinary if true. Is it?) The IFPI might be right, this could undermine the findings. But rather than give us any data which could be set against the research, the IFPI just shrug and say they reckon it's just enough to know it could be flawed.

If they were interested in the truth, the IFPI would be pointing to a better source of the music interaction data. That they don't suggests their takedown is a panicky attempt to get everyone to look the other way.

[UPDATE: Took a while, but finally got a confirmation from Nielsen that their methodology can, indeed, include people recharging their iPhones as a visit to iTunes. I don't think that fatally undermines the EU report, but it does weaken it to the point where it's worth approaching the findings with a bit more caution. I've written more about this here.]

Girls Aloud switch off

I don't think there's much surprise here - it couldn't have been more obvious this was a farewell tour had it been called "The Farewell Tour" - but it's been confirmed Girls Aloud are no more. They announced the end through a series of tweets:

"Dear Alouders, we just want to say from the bottom of our hearts Thank you!!

"This tour has been an amazing experience and the perfect chance to say thank you for being on this journey with us through a decade.

"It has far exceeded any of our dreams and we hope we are forever your inspiration and reminder that dreams really do glitter!!

"Your love and support will stay with us forever but we have now come to the end of our incredible time together. Love you lots."

It's not a bad outcome for winning a gameshow.

Oh, go on, then:

Done Waiting abandons screen for paper

The decade-old music blog Done Waiting has closed down, or rather leaped media. It's going to be reopening soon as an annual print title.

Ha! A print title? How will they be able to keep up-to-the-second as a print magazine?

Reader's voice: Hang on a second, Done Waiting announced it was closing online at the end of February. It's taken you nearly a month to mention it here. Doesn't that rather spit in the eye of your claim that you get much more timely content online?

Shh... be quiet, now. Shhh.

Songwriterobit: Jason Molina

Jason Molina, who recorded under the name Songs:Ohia and later toured as the Magnolia Electric Co, has died.

AmericanSongwriter shared Secretly Canadian's tribute to their artist:

Jason was a world class musician, songwriter & recording artist. He was also a beloved friend,” said his first record label, Secretly Canadian, in a statement.

“This is especially hard for us to share. Jason is the cornerstone of Secretly Canadian. Without him there would be no us — plain and simple . . . We’re going to miss Jason. He was generous. He was a one of a kind. And he had a voice unlike any other.”

The Guardian carried a tribute from Steve Albini:

"I loved hearing Jason Molina sing. He was a genius at turning a phrase and making it into something more than the words in it. Jason was almost supernaturally prolific, and several times I watched him write an album's worth of songs in a weekend, recording them on the spot.
Much of his recorded output with Magnolia Electric Co is the evidence of him and the band playing his songs for the very first time.

It's amazing, really, that it was any good at all, much less so touching and fully realised. Jason was a unique talent and I will miss him. My heart goes out to all his friends and family, all of you I've met have been good people who did well by Jason."

Fans are being invited to help pay Molina's outstanding medical bills as tribute.

Molina had been struggling with illness for some time; he was 39.

Napalm Death: Collapsing old buildings

Napalm Death were going to play the Victoria & Albert Museum, through a ceramic soundsystem which was designed to decay as the set progressed. They've had to pull it, though, as the museum was afraid it could destroy the building as well:

A spokesperson for the museum told Sky News: "This was due to take place in the Europe Galleries, which are currently being refurbished, and a further safety inspection has revealed concerns that the high level of decibels generated by the concert would damage the historic fabric of the building...The V&A is committed to an exciting programme of exhibitions and events but the safety of our visitors and building remains our priority at all times."

It's believed that Extreme Noise Terror at the Cumberland Pencil Museum is in doubt for the same reasons.

Bruno Mars: singing vagina

As if Bruno Mars singing about vaginas wasn't awkward enough, he's now talking about singing about vaginas. Readers with toes which can curl are advised to look away now:

''It feels good to sing about. It feels...sexy. It puts you in a sexy frame of mind. It feels good to project. Sex is a great party starter.

''The verses to me are what really makes that song: 'Swimming in your water is something spiritual'.

''If you think it's blasphemous, then obviously you don't know that it's poetry.''

I don't think anyone thinks of it as being a blasphemous line, Bruno. Unless there's a religion which has a Thou Shalt Not Cringe commandment.

"Swimming in your waters". Bruno talks like a man who's never got beyond splashing about in the shallow end.

Michelle Shocked: If love were a train, it'd be derailed

Disappointing to see that Michelle Shocked has gone from the ugly dismissal of her own sexuality to a blanket attack on all gay people, live from the stage at Yoshi's, San Francisco. Matt Penfield was there, and told Yahoo Music:

"She started reading some tweets from the stream and having a dialogue about people's impressions, talking about how she was feeling brave at this point and that she was doing the right thing. Then the tone of the conversation became extremely religious and she began talking about the two things most important to her being Jesus Christ and freedom. Then she talked about how she had just come from a prayer meeting the night before, and the people in her prayer meeting were really worried because these are the end times, and they’re the end times because Prop. 8 is going to lead to ministers marrying gay people with a rifle to the head. At which people got a little riled up; then there started to be some call and response from the crowd about what she meant. She started exhorting the crowd very specifically to go ahead and tweet or write and say that Michelle Shocked says God hates f--s, and some other references to the Bible denouncing homosexuality as sinful and abhorrent.

"At that point a lot of people started getting up and walking out. We didn’t understand if this was for the sake of art or an actual rant. Then she delivered the same Bible verses in Spanish. At that point personally I felt like I was an emotional hostage, and the night of entertainment had become a night for her to deliver this intense personal polemic that, in hindsight, it felt like she had been carrying around since she got on stage, while we were strapped in waiting for her to deliver it."

There's been a few vain attempts to suggest that maybe this was some sort of biting satire, but taken alongside her past description of homosexuality as being "no more of a sin than fornication" (gee, thanks) and her same-sex past either as a lie or an "inconvenient truth" it seems unlikely.

Last night Shocked was retweeting a mix of positive and negative @ messages, prompting one exasperated follower to sigh "the cryptic retweets aren't helping".

What's certain, though, is that the world is treating a former radical standing on stage shouting "god hates fags" - however ironically - like box office poison, with shows being axed all over America.

Michelle Shocked. Come a long fucking way indeed.