Not Forgot-Ten: March 2010

After Yoko took a big cheque from Citroen, it fell to Sean Lennon to explain how it was all about legacy and not merely shaking Lennon's corpse until the coins fell out. The PRS splashed away money intended for its members on a pointless survey. Money better spent was that the BPI used to charm Liberal Democrat peer Lord Clement Jones, who inserted the BPI's wording into the Digital Economy Bill. God help us if the Lib Dems ever get in government, eh?

The latest idea to try and fight file sharing? An attempt to create a moral equivalence with drunk driving. Yes, that'd work. Almost as good idea as EMI's bid to flog off the back catalogue to save itself.

It turns out JLS have a five year plan. They'll think again once they start shaving. Clearly, though, the idea of a JLS condom range was never going to happen - they're a preteen's band, right? And for people who have trouble sleeping in a ditch, Amy Winehouse signed up to produce a fashion range to let you get her look.

Public Enemy's attempts to crowdsource album funding fell flat. Pink Floyd sued EMI for allowing people to decide to not spend money on songs they don't want. Money that could be spent, for example, buying Pink's breath in a bottle, which you could keep safe with a Bonnie Prince Billy bottle stopper. Or, if you had a spare half a million, you could have a body like Rihanna. Or piss it away investing with Bono.

In a desperate attempt to remove any interesting music programming at all, MTV closed MTV2.Having spotted that 6Music was popular, Ed Vaizey did a total u-turn and suddenly called for its saving. The Economist proudly announced that iXtra and XFM were "similar", presumably because they both had X in their name. Radcliffe And Maconie were cut by a quarter, not offset by the one night revival of the Evening Session.

NOFX confirmed they didn't really hurl piss at the SXSW audience. Sri Lanka said they didn't want anything Akon might hurl at them. Erykah Badu was definitely not trying to stir up press coverage by rubbing naked bits on the Grassy Knoll. Not at all. No.

Format of the month: The iTunes LP, sinking beneath the waves.

Mark Owen turned out to be human after all. Graham Coxon turned out to be a bit of a bullying git. Florence Welch and Gang Gang Dance came to terms. And Kelly Osbourne tried to stop a dog fight.

Split: Janes Addiction (again). Returning to music: Molly Ringwald (no, really). Quitting after this one: Miley Cyrus. Reuniting: The Libertines.

Barbara Walters worried that she might have put the idea in people's heads that Ricky Martin was gay. That, and not, you know, his being gay. Mike Joyce was busily trying to put the idea in people's heads that there was much more to him than being in The Smiths.

Sony dropped Jedward. It doesn't seem to have sunk in yet.

This month, Lady GaGa was overcharging and being sued.