MOBOs decide to fall in line and give prizes to Emeli Sande

Last night's Music Of Black Origin In The Sense That The Organisers Take The Phrase 'Black Origin' To Mean Awards in Liverpool saw one of the hot trends of 2012 being resolutely stuck to.

That's the 'pretending for some reason that Emeli Sande's admittedly alright performances are in someway superhuman' trend, of course. The one that saw her being left to more-or-less carry great swathes of the Olympic ceremonies, of course.

Sande picked up three prizes, in the categories of 'Best R&B/Soul if you don't have much time to think about it', 'Best Album if you carefully exclude the better ones for various reasons' and 'Best female act if we follow through the logic of our other choices'.

Plan B took two, but you don't need to listen to me - here's the full list of winners:

Best Gospel: Rachel Kerr
Best Jazz: Zoe Rahman
Best Reggae: Sean Paul
Best African Act: D’Banj
Best Song: Labrinth
Best R&B/Soul: Emeli Sandé
Best Album: Emeli Sandé
Best Hip Hop/Grime: Plan B
Best Video: JLS
Best Female Act: Emeli Sandé
Best Male Act: Plan B
Best Newcomer: Rita Ora
Best International: Nicki Minaj

The decision to hold the awards on a Saturday night was to give a higher profile to the event, which was successful, clashing only with The X Factor, Strictly Come Dancing and dozens of bonfire night parties.

MOBOs proceed with minimum fuss

Perhaps it was a gesture to the state of the economy that nobody made any real fuss about the Mobos this year. Perhaps it was because it was off in Liverpool, and just as the winter kicked in. The other possibility - that these awards just roll on under their own sweet impetus whether anyone cares or not.

And JLS won best UK act; and Eminem, so many years after his saucepan finally boiled through. But it doesn't really matter, because the awards themselves only exist so that the prize ceremony can happen. The winners in full:

* Best Newcomer: Tinie Tempah
* Best U.K. R&B/Soul Act: Plan B
* Best U.K. Hip-Hop/Grime Act: Professor Green
* Best International Act: Eminem
* Best Reggae Act: Gyptian
* Best Album: "JLS" - JLS
* Best Video: "Frisky" - Tinie Tempah ft. Labrinth
* Best U.K. Act: JLS
* Best Song: "Playing with Fire" - N-Dubz ft. Mr. Hudson
* Best African Act: K'Naan
* Best Jazz Act: Empirical
* Best Gospel Act: Guvna B
* Lifetime Achievement: Billy Ocean
* BeMOBO: Merseyside Dance Initiative

N-Dubz. JLS. Tinie Tempah.

Mobos moaning: Kelly Rowland's not happy

Perhaps the only piece of comfort for Kelly Rowland - livid at the poor sound of the MOBOs stage - is that it was only the MOBOs, and so it's not like anyone would have heard her performance.

What's hilarious is the way the MOBO organisers are trying to deny there was a problem at all:

A Mobo spokesman said: "Kelly Rowland looked at the BBC's iPlayer and thought her performance was better than she initially thought when she came off stage and is completely happy with her performance."

That seems a little unlikely, given that it sounds rotten on iPlayer and - even if you could ignore the muzak-in-a-cow-shed mix, that she is pulling a face of a woman trying to hold a feisty kitten in a room full of birds throughout suggests that she wasn't comfortable while it was happening.

Her Twitter stream recorded her anger...

OK. So, I'm at the MoBo's and getting ready to have a GREAT show with David and the MoBo's F'd my sound up!!!!! PISSED!!!!!

HONESTLY, that just makes me work harder! But, what I will say is the MoBo's owe me an apology!!!! I was LIVID after the show!

I wanted you guys to be the 1st to hear it from me! rehearsals. were fine. soundcheck. was fine. performance, wad a struggle at 1st

But, I got through it!!!!!!!! So-----It happens! The next show will be Better!--------TRUST!!!!!!!!!

Poor woman. Not only was her sound awful, but it looks like her exclamation mark key is sticking too.

There is, it's worth noting, no further tweet going "oh, it looks fine on iPlayer. Chill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Gordon in the morning: He went to Glasgow

First, let's just be fair to Gordon Smart: He did actually bother to head off to Glasgow for the Mobos.

And - given how the winners were drawn heavily from the sort of people that Smart plugs his column with when there's nobody interesting to write about - it's no wonder Gordon was thrilled. Thrilled to the point of awkwardness:


But The Sun has been pretty sniffy about the Mobos in the past - how can Gordon save face?

THE MOBO Awards have been rubbish for years.

Bizarre dubbed them the "no goes" a few years back when half the celebrity nominees failed to show up for the bash.

But this year, on my home soil in Scotland, the McMOBOs were finally something to celebrate.

It's unclear if - when writers from the English Sun travel north, they suddenly cease to believe the Tories are a good thing, in line with their newspaper's somewhat odd double-dealing, and sadly Gordon doesn't let on if he suddenly finds Cameron vapid once he's out of Northumberland.

Nor does Gordon seem to have noticed that, yes, the winners did turn up in Glasgow, but that this might be more because the prizes have gone to bands which issue press releases when one of them buys a drink in a bar or has a bad head cold.

Gordon shares an astonishing statistic with us:

It was a brave shout, considering only five per cent of urban sales come from north of Watford.

What? So - generally - people in Manchester, Liverpool and Bradford don't buy music by black artists? Or is a Scottish journalist making the Southern solecism of assuming that "anything outside London" counts as Scotland?

Mobos proudly celebrate all music of black origin, regardless of how good it is

It's perhaps indicative of how far the Mobos are from being a national staple that BBC News treats the story as one of the "TOP GLASGOW, LANARKSHIRE AND WEST STORIES" rather than an entertainment one.

Mind you, given the results, it's not surprising:

JLS and N-Dubz win two Mobos each

Really? That's the best we can do?

Accepting the award for best song for "Beat again", JLS's Marvin Humes said: "The band's success would have been inconceivable just a year ago."

It's still pretty hard to get your head around right now, Marvin.

Even the winners seem to have noticed that the prize giving seems to have spotted that there was something terribly wrong:

Speaking after the awards, N-Dubz's MC, Dappy, said rapper Tinchy Stryder should not have been overlooked.

"There's no-one like Tinchy, nobody's doing what he's doing, nobody's got his swagger," he said.

"I'm really upset. He should have won something."

Those winners in full:

Best UK: N-Dubz

Best Newcomer: JLS

Best Song: JLS, Beat Again

Best Album: N-Dubz, Uncle B

Best DJ: Trevor Nelson

Best Hip Hop: Chipmunk

Best R&B: Keri Hilson

Best International: Beyonce

Best Video: Beyonce, Single Ladies

Best Reggae: Sean Paul

Best Jazz: Yolanda Brown

Best Gospel: Victizzle

Best African Act: Nneka

JLS winning... well, anything. Whoever would have thought? Hang about... that's going to make someone happy, isn't it?

Gordon in the morning: You don't listen to N-Dubz for the sense of musical history

Sweet joy for Gordon Smart today, as he finds someone with even less of a steady grip on popular culture than he has:

N-DUBZ star TULISA CONTOSTAVLOS proves she's got soul but she's no fan of THE KILLERS.

The singer confessed she had no idea the sample for the brilliant new War Child track which she features on was from All These Things That I've Done by the US outfit.

She confessed that. And asked for three other charges of not being able to tell U2 from Radiohead to be taken into consideration.

Tulisa and the rest of the Young Soul Rebelswill perform the song, I Got Soul, for the first time at Wednesday's MOBOs in Glasgow.

Ah, yes, Music of Black Origin - N-Dubz singing a song based around a Brandon Flowers piece. There's a celebration.

Still, it must be exciting for Glasgow, this week preparing to hold an event that it's pumped cash into to help shift the idea of Glasgow from being a crumbling, old-fashioned, bypassed city into something new and modern and a little multicultural. Isn't that right, Gordon?

I'll be there tapping my foot, drinking Irn-Bru and eating Tunnock's Tea Cakes.

Oh.

I suppose the good people of Glasgow can take comfort that he didn't mention hot battered confectionery. Although there's still time.

Elsewhere, Gordon manages to spin a lead article from the somewhat humdrum news that Kate Moss is now a member of the PRS.

Mobos announce shortlist. Pretend to look interested.

The annual MOBO awards - or the annual procession of self-defeat as it's also known - are just thirty four days away. The website has a countdown clock, which might give the impression of a world waiting, breath held; or put you in mind of the little calendar they print on the side of bicarb of soda boxes for keeping the fridge cool.

You might imagine that the excitement around N-Dubz getting three - or is it four - nominations would be the most useful way of calibrating your response to the shortlists, but there's something even more damning: Mr Hudson, (Hank Kingsley to Kanye West's Larry Sanders in a show without an Artie) is in the running for Best UK Act.

Although it's possible that the Mr Hudson listed in the nominations is actually the butler to the Bellamy family. It would only be slightly less plausible.

That actually not very shortlist in full:

Best UK Act

Alesha Dixon

Bashy

Beverley Knight

Chipmunk

Dizzee Rascal

DJ Ironik

Donae’o

Mr Hudson

N-Dubz

Tinchy Stryder

Best UK Newcomer

Alexandra Burke

Jade Ewen

JLS

Laura Izibor

Master Shortie

Best R&B/Soul Act

Beverley Knight

Ciara

Jeremih

Keri Hilson

Lemar

Best Hip Hop Act

Chipmunk

Dizzee Rascal

Drake

Eminem

Kanye West

Best Video

Bonkers - Dizzee Rascal

Boy Does Nothing - Alesha Dixon

Diamond Rings - Chipmunk ft Emeli Sande

Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) - Beyonce

Supernova - Mr Hudson ft Kanye West

Best International Act

Akon

Beyonce

Ciara

Drake

Eminem

Jay-Z

Kanye West

Keri Hilson

Lady Gaga

Mariah Carey

Best Song

Beat Again - JLS

Diamond Rings - Chipmunk ft Emeli Sande

Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes - K.I.G. Family

Number One - Tinchy Stryder ft N-Dubz

Strong Again - N-Dubz

Best Album

808s and Heartbreaks - Kanye West

Catch 22 - Tinchy Stryder

Catch Me If You Can - Bashy

I Am... Sasha Fierce - Beyonce

Uncle B - N-Dubz

Best Reggae

Movado

Sean Paul

Serani

Tarrus Riley

Vybz Kartel

Best Jazz Act

Diana Krall

Herbie Hancock

Madeleine Peyroux

Melody Gardot

Yolanda Brown

Best African Act

Amadou and Mariam

Baaba Maal

Eidee

Femi Kuti

K’Naan

Lira

Mujava

Nneka

Oumou Sangare

Salif Kelta

Best Gospel Act

Desire to Worship God

Kiki Sheard

Mary Mary

New Direction

Crew

It's unbelievable that Lemar even now is getting a nomination - does he lend them the microphones for the finals or something; it's depressing how much the Mobos newcomers category implies that Black British talent is best defined by Simon Cowell's whims and the ITV1 audience.

Mobos go North

In what I'm going to be generous and put down to a well-conceived plan to raise the profile of the MOBO awards - the annual music event where prizes are given to people whose music is, in some way, black - has decided to hold its prize-giving in Glasgow this year.

Lemar - for some reason - was given the announcement to make:

"Bringing the MOBO awards here to Glasgow, a city with such a strong and vibrant music scene, is the perfect fit," the singer said. "I love touring in the UK and the welcome I receive when I come to Scotland is incredible."

That'll be why it's Glasgow, then. Because Lemar likes playing in Scotland. Similarly, the locations of the Grammy awards were fixed on using 'where would David Crosby most like to have breakfast the next morning'.

It's not because the event's partners this year are Event Scotland and Glasgow. Oh, no, no. This is nothing to do with chasing subsidy.

There's no reason why a major event should automatically be held in London, although in these straightened economic times, the London-centric music business might be a bit reluctant for people to run up expense bills traveling north for a second division event.

Mobos a "triumph" as Brits win UK categories

The Guardian coverage of the Mobos is slightly surprising, hailing a great night for the British:

Rule Britannia: Estelle leads UK stars in Mobo sweep

Breaking the tradition of British R&B stars playing second fiddle to their US counterparts, Estelle and Leona Lewis last night capped a successful year by dominating the Mobo awards.

Well... yes, although since the awards are split into UK and rest of the world categories, it does help a little, don't you think? If the British showing was that strong, why not allow our team to fight against the rest of the world?

Mobos distributed in equitable fashion

In an age when even the US government is nationalising banks, perhaps it's unsurprising that the Mobos have been given out in a fair-shares for all way, with Estelle and Leona Lewis getting two prizes each.

It probably doesn't matter over much who got which, but Estelle got best UK female and best song (American Boy) while Leona took best album and the in-no-way-consolatory best video prize.

Dizzee Rascal took the Best And, Honestly, He Wasn't The Only Bloke We Could Think Of For The Shortlist UK Male Award.

Chris Brown turned up, and thus qualified for Best International Artist.

The Mobos web site hasn't been updated with details of the any of the winners. Can't they find anyone to take a laptop along?

Duffy, Adele celebrates her black roots

Once again, the Mobos have announced their shortlists without bothering to actually publish the list on their own website, which - along with the news that Mel B and the Run from Run DMC will be presenting - suggests that even the MOBOs don't really take themselves seriously anymore.

Amongst this year's nominations for best music of black origin prizes are Adele and Duffy.

Which makes it a little more bemusing that the MOBO chief executive has a pop at Britain for not treating our black artists properly:

: "Hip Hop and R&B have emerged as popular music, not just genres beloved by a minority, and British artists are at the forefront.

"It's fantastic to see artists like Estelle, who Mobo championed early on, get their due.

"I'd like to call on the music industry to keep up the good work and capitalise on this. There are still barriers out there. Estelle had to go to America to really break through and be given her big chance.

"The talent is undoubtedly here, let's get behind them."

How about making a start by not using the awards designed to correct the white-artists-only bias of the Brit Awards to honour exactly the same white artists that the Brits fawn over.

Estelle, the Telegraph reminds us, was complaining about this very thing back in March:

"I'm not mad at them, but I'm wondering - how the hell is there not a single black person in the press singing soul?" she asked in an interview published in March. "Adele ain't soul. She sounds like she heard some Aretha records once, and she's got a deeper voice - that don't mean she's soul. That don't mean nothing to me in the grand scheme of my life as a black person."

That's going to make things a bit frosty at the prize-giving, then.

Drink to the Mobos

Gabrielle's recent criticisms of the Mobos - she complained that they're US-centric and lack any recognition of soul - have been considered by Mutya out of the Sugababes (very out of the Sugababes), and she doesn't agree:

"I don't think any awards should be stopped.

"It's great to get drunk and have fun and not have any hate. We're all in the same industry."

Aha. So, it's not a celebration of the achievements of artists working primarily in genres with a black heritage; it's a piss-up. Although if you really just wanted to have a gathering where people got drunk and have fun, you could just put in a bus shelter and not worry about trying to create a shortlist without Dizzee Rascal's name on it.

Amy Winehouse celebrates being urban

Amy Winehouse has won in the MOBOs, the annual awards ceremony for music, in some way, connected with being black - we think she qualified on account of having the word "Black" in her album title.

Seriously, though, one of the MOBO spokespeople was dfeending the increasingly white shortlist for the prizes by stressing that it's a way of celebrating how far black music influences all our lives. Which is true, but since even Towers of London could claim to be playing music that has a heritage that can be traced back to black ancestry, and since we thought the original aim was to act as a corrective to the usually overwhelmingly white-faced winners of the Brits, that seems a little weak. The suspicion that acts like Winehouse are thrown in to ensure that there's press coverage of an event that would otherwise be mostly overlooked isn't entirely dissolved by all the reports on the awards having 'Winehouse' in the headline this morning.

Depending on if you believe The Sun or the BBC will depend on how you think Amy was last night.

The BBC:

Winehouse, who sang Tears Dry On Their Own plus Me And Mr Jones, looked surprised when her name was announced as winner of top female artist.

Chewing gum, she said "thank you" twice before handing back the microphone and leaving the stage.

The Sun, meanwhile, suggests she was slightly less together:

AMY WINEHOUSE was back to her shambling worst last night as she won Best Female at the MOBOs.

She staggered up the stage steps looking the worse for wear as she went to collect her gong at the O2 arena.

Then she took the microphone and appeared to spit before saying a brief thank-you.

She followed that with a shoddy rendition of Tears Dry On Their Own – forgetting half the words.

During the performance Amy twitched, pulled at her black-and-white dress and gripped the mic stand as she swayed precariously.

Her version of Me And Mr Jones was slightly better – at least she remembered the words.

Those Mobo winners in full, then:

Best UK male
Dizzee Rascal

Best UK female
Amy Winehouse

Best song
Ne-Yo - Because of You

Best video
Kanye West - Stronger

Best international act
Rihanna

Best UK newcomer
N Dubz

Best hip-hop act
Kanye West

Best reggae act
Sean Kingston

Best R&B act
Ne-Yo

Best gospel act
G-Force

Best jazz act
Soweto Kinch

Best DJ
Tim Westwood

Best African act
2face Idibia (Nigeria)

Amy Winehouse is "Britain's best black artist"

The increasingly detached MOBO awards have announced their nominations list, with Amy Winehouse and Dizzee Rascal leading the way - four nominations each.

It would be unfair to suggest that the shortlist has been drawn up by asking, say, Ken Bruce to name all the black artists he can think of, but, then again...

Here's the nominations in full - jump to the bottom if you don't want to scroll through:

BEST UK MALE
Dizzee Rascal
Kano
Lethal Bizzle
Sway
Wiley

BEST UK FEMALE
Amy Winehouse
Beverley Knight
Corinne Bailey Rae
Jamelia
Joss Stone

BEST UK NEWCOMER
Mutya Buena
N Dubz
Sadie Ama
Tinchy Stryder
UnkleJam

BEST DJ
George Kay
Jigs
Rampage
Ras Kwame
Ronnie Herel
Semtex
Shortee Blitz
Steve Sutherland
Tim Westwood
Trevor Nelson

BEST REGGAE
Collie Buddz
Sean Kingston
Shaggy
Stephen Marley
Tony Matterhorn

BEST HIP HOP
50 Cent
Common
Dizzee Rascal
Kano
Kanye West


BEST R&B
Akon
Amy Winehosue
Lemar
Nathan
Ne-Yo

BEST INTERNATIONAL ACT
Akon
Diddy
Kanye West
Rihanna
T.I

BEST SONG
Amerie - 'Take Control'
Amy Winehouse - 'Rehab'
Dizzee Rascal - 'Sirens'
Neyo - 'Because of You'
Robin Thicke - 'Lost Without You'

BEST VIDEO
Amy Winehouse - 'Back to Black'
Dizzee Rascal - 'Sirens'
Kanye West - 'Stronger'
Pussycat Dolls - 'Wait a Minute'
Rihanna - 'Umbrella'

BEST GOSPEL
4 Kornerz
BlushUK
G-Force
Jahaziel
Priscilla Jones

BEST JAZZ
Abram Wilson
Byron Wallen
Dee Dee Bridgewater
Soweto Kinch
Wynton Marsalis

Best African Act
Tu Face Idibia (Nigeria)
DBanj (Nigeria)
Nameless (Kenya)
Wambali Mkandawire (Malawi)
Bebe Cool (Uganda)
Kabelo (SA)

You know you're in trouble when the Pussycat Dolls are being considered for the best anything. This year, you can vote yourself online, if you really feel you must.

Music of totally straight origins

Of course, most of the UK press couldn't find space amongst the 'Danni Behr has to spend a couple of minutes waiting for mob to disperse' stories to cover the nasty scenes outside the Mobo awards themselves (The Guardian being one of the few to note the disturbances.)

Now, we personally think that Tatchell is a pain in the arse - invading a Cathedral Service on that religion's holiest day isn't a political statement, it's senseless bullying - but this time, you can't really argue with his theory that homophobic tunes are making some of the listeners of that music think that it's okay to queer-bash, and we don't really think that the MOBO organisers shrugging and saying "well, we don't pick the records that win" is anything like good enough.

I know moral equivalence is the last refuge of the writer with a deadline, but if Skrewdriver did well at next year's Brit Awards, would we happily sit by and say "well, the industry voted that way, so what could they do?" For Tatchell - a man who's been punched by the best of them - to say it was the most scared he's ever been is quite something; how can the MOBOs want to celebrate and laud queerbashing?

Regardless, Peter, you're probably overstating it a bit to claim on the Outrage site that the awards were marred by anti-gay violence.
Interesting to read the report from the Jamaica Observer, which is headline "Jamaican artistes heckled by gay rights group" - a little bit 'postman wedges arse in dog's mouth', that - but then goes on to examine the reasons for the protests in a bit more depth - which is more than you'd expect The Sun to do.