The sort of headline that could turn Pangloss into a misanthrope

from NME.com

The Kooks don't feel the love

Luke Pritchard thinks he detected some cooling towards The Kooks:

"We've been working solid, been playing a lot in Europe and in the rest of the world because we've done alright in America and in Europe so we have things over there.

"But I think it's a good thing because for us, although I think our second album, 'Konk', I'm really pleased with it, there was definitely a sort of backlash to it or felt like maybe a good time to go away and also leave a bit of space.

"You need to leave a bit of space between you and people and then when we come back, because we've been working on a third record and when we come back we really want it to be fresh."

I'm not sure it was a backlash, Luke. I think people really did dislike your band. But not as a backlash, as nobody was really that keen on you in the first place.

The WB rocks with laughter

In a bid to combine the skills - let's call them that - of the writers of The OC and Gossip Girl with the sound of hipster-approved bands, TheWB.com is launching a comedy-music series set in Los Angeles nightclub.

The bands booked for Rockville, CA do sound great: the Broken West, Lights, Oppenheimer, the Republic Tigers, the Duke Spirit, Eagles of Death Metal, Earlimart, Frightened Rabbit and Lykke Li. Oh, there is also Travis, Kaiser Chiefs and The Kooks, but at least because it's online and in four minute chunks you can always avoid them fairly easily.

Gordon in the morning: A confused young man

It's a strange device, Gordon Smart's moral compass. Happy to run long-lens shots of women with their breasts on display, and to discuss women's "crackers" and "bangers", all of a sudden Gordon has a fit of the vapours when discussing a ban on the name chosen by British sailors for their Olympic yacht:

Big t**s spark an Olympic row

Poor Gordon seems to be outraged at the ban on naming a boat after a Kooks song, railing at the organisers:

But their latest choice, Jackie Big T**s — a song from Inside In/Inside Out, the first album by The Kooks — has outraged humourless officials at this summer’s Beijing Games.

And yet Gordon is unable to print the name of the boat in his own column - which makes it seem odd that he's having a go at the Olympics people for calling it inappropriate. If a column which is happy to publish real tits balks at the word, why would you expect the most repressive Olympics yet to be alright with it?

Darkness at 3AM: Why, yes, you're close, Luke

Luke Pritchard, head prefect with the Kooks, reckons he could well be dating that Agyness Deyn, oh, yes:

"Agyness is hot. I heard she might be here so that's pretty cool.

But he added: "She used to go out with my mate so I can't really go there."

She's hot and cool simultaneously. Like a baked alaska. What a shame, though, that Luke is unable to consider dating her. Because it would be wrong.

Luke Pritchard: Ladies' man, he bets

Yesterday, we had Michael Eavis sounding like a bad throwback to a 70s sitcom. Today, Luke Pritchard from The Kooks offers what sounds like a tribute to 1970s jazz mags:

"She didn't show up but I heard Carmen Electra was coming to our show," he said. "Can you imagine fucking Carmen Electra? How cool would that be?"

When asked if he would genuinely be interested in having sex with Electra, Pritchard said, "Of course, man! We all would have [hooked up with her on the night of the gig]! Anyone would have!

"When you're in a big band, you can go anywhere and do whatever you want. I'd like to fuck Carmen Electra!"

Doubtless his fans would rush to point out that his tongue was in his cheek as much as his cock was his hand, but we're not so sure. Not to mention that if his band was so big he can behave like he's Vladimir Putin, how come Carmen Electra didn't show up in the first place?

The attitude isn't, sadly, surprising, but the lack of understanding that some things that are greeted with rounds of applause in the van between gigs probably shouldn't be raised in interviews is.

[Thanks to Peter D for the tip]

Alex Turner, we salute you

Can you still nominate people for OBEs and so on? Only, surely, Alex Turner deserves one for his brave attempts to save us all from the Kooks. Luke Pritchard reveals all:

"We've had a weird relationship with the Arctics since we first met. I had to kick Alex in the face because he was trying to pull the leads out of my guitar pedals while we were on stage."

Next time, we're sending Alex Turner out with wirecutters.

Darkness at 3AM: Off to Maidstone

The 3AM Girls seem a little more fond of One Big Weekend, although it seems their access was limited to little bands complaining about the bigger stars, like The Fratellis, who had a point about Madonna's arrival:

Singer Jon Fratelli told us: "Who does Madonna think she is?

"I'm not into all this - we're all here to perform together. What happened to rock 'n' roll? Why is she even here? Everything has been changed around just for her and her ridiculous entourage.

"That's why we brought our own security team of midgets to look after us - and they're doing a great job. If she has an entourage then we're going to have one, too. Those people also ate all the food, so we had to order 18 pizzas from Domino's.

How very Live TV of them.

Meanwhile, The Kooks were wailing that Kylie wouldn't let them go to her party last week:

Luke, 23, (below) told us: "We heard she was having a party so asked if we could come." But Kylie moves in her own way - and said no way!

"We were gutted. I like her and her songs. I won't give up. "We'll try again next time we're in the same city."

We love the way Luke thinks there's something mysterious about Kylie saying no, as if that's just the kind of strange response you'd only expect from her, rather than the default position for anyone offered the chance of spending time with The Kooks.

So, did the 3AM Girls get any big story?

The Hoosiers frontman Irwin Sparkes has hired a bodyguard for his scared girlfriend - after she freaked out about an online fans' forum that went on about cooking and eating her!

No.

The Kooks want to take you camping

As if the thought of a Kooks gig wasn't bad enough, they're now threatening to launch their own festival. Why, besides it being the only way they'd ever manage to find themselves headlining a festival?

"We have been talking about holding our own [festival] down south, somewhere like Stamner Park near Brighton where we live. We will do it in the next couple of years."

"Although Glastonbury is the best in the world, something like that can't really carry on. It's getting too big.

"We love playing Glastonbury, but we couldn't walk anywhere last year as it was so full. And [when] you have so many people there it's hard to get a vibe."

While Glastonbury's having it difficulties, we're not quite sure it's fair to say that "something like that can't really carry on", as if it's the Roman Empire. And if you were in search of a "vibe", a festival organised by the stage school kids (and, presumably, featuring Kooks favourite bands) wouldn't be the first place you'd go and look, would it?

The Kooks: Have they ever heard themselves?

Kierkegaard, it was, who observed that "a man may accomplish many feats and comprehend a vast amount of knowledge and still have no understanding of himself", so perhaps we shouldn't be too hard on Luke Pritchard, a man who clearly has no understanding of himself or his band at all.

The Kooks are playing some gigs in the US, and Luke feels the hand of history on his shoulder:

"I'm a romantic ya know," coos the crooner, "and it's quite a romatic thing to come over from England like the Beatles or Stones and have that relationship with America and bring our music over there."

Obviously, the Kooks have travelled across from England, and, yes, The Beatles and the Stones did do the same, but we'd suggest that - unless we've missed scenes of screaming teenagers greeting them at the airports - there are few parallels beyond that.

But Luke hasn't finished. You might think they're stage school mass-market pop, but - oh, no, no:

"Playing live and playing on the record are two different things," he says. "When we play live we are not trying to re-create the record. We are more like a punk band when we play live, so you can expect absolute anarchy from the stage."

Again, let's be fair - when he says they're more like a punk band live, there's absolutely no way they could be any less like a punk band than their bland, please-like-me, lets-not-rock-the-boat records; but "absolute anarchy"? From The Kooks?

A day for the stores

This Saturday, in the US, is Record Store Day. The remaining-but-essential independent music chains will gather together to celebrate their contribution to the US' culture and, possibly, to ride round abandoned parking lots outside old Tower Record branches giggling.

Ironically, Google have done their bit (having spent a few years being part of the challenge facing the stores) by opening up a special YouTube Channel which includes, for some reason, The Kooks.

Gordon in the morning: No new Amy album

Gordon's readers might have assumed, from all his talk a couple of weeks ago about "listen to Amy's new songs" that there might have been a new album on the horizon. Anyone with half a mind would have realised the chances of a new record this year - with the artist incapacitated and the old one still selling strongly in the US off the back of the Grammys - was unlikely.

But Gordon's still surprised, reporting there's not going to be an album made from scratch this year.

Madonna's purchase of a new flat gets a Bizarre treatment, with Emily Smith trumpeting this as:

New split talk: Madge buys flat

But then, as the piece concedes:

The superstar singer, 49, has won a legal fight to buy a third £3.5million apartment in the Manhattan block where she already has a huge two-storey pad.

So, if she was at breaking point, it's not as if she didn't have anywhere to go before this. And, we suspect, if she needed to book into a Travelodge for a couple of nights, it wouldn't exactly break the bank, would it?

Meanwhile, Gordon has short shrift for the Kooks, as he reads on a website Luke Pritchard's explanation of why Max Rafferty quit:

“Things got a bit much for him, I think. Not to get some fucking violin out . . . but it can be really difficult being in a band, especially when you’re like that.”

I was beginning to enjoy Luke’s honesty until he said that. Don’t give me that “it’s difficult being in a band” crap.

Millions of people would love to swap places with them.

Well... yes, they might, Gordon, but that doesn't make it any easier having an addictive personality being in one.

Woah, Columbus? Kooks cock snooks

There's a chance to look at the inside-head-thoughts of Luke Pritchard and The Kooks in today's Guardian music and film section.

There's his view of America:

Ask if they are prepared to do anything to break America and you are told: "But that makes it sound like a bad thing to drive around playing shows in all these crazy little towns you'd never get to see otherwise - how could that be bad?"

"Crazy little towns", eh, Luke?

Their first tour of the US was in 2006:

Los Angeles Safari Sam's (September 24)
Club NME, Los Angeles Spaceland (25)
San Francisco Pop Scene (26)
Brooklyn North Six (28)

Here's their 2007 American tour itinerary:

Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival (April 29)
San Francisco Slim’s (30)
Portland Doug’s Fir Lounge (May 2)
Seattle Crocodile Café (3)
Chicago Metro (5)
Columbus The Basement (7)
Toronto Government (8)
New York Irving Plaza (10)
New York Irving Plaza (11)
Washington DC 9:30 Club (12)
Boston Paradise Rock Club (13)

And here's where they're playing next month:

5/18 San Diego, CA - House of Blues
5/19 Los Angeles, CA - The Wiltern
5/22 San Francisco, CA - The Fillmore
5/24 Vancouver, BC - Commodore Ballroom
5/26 Portland, OR - Wonder Ballroom
5/28 Salt Lake City, UT - Avalon Theatre
5/29 Denver, CO - Ogden Theatre
5/31 Minneapolis, MN - Fine Line Music Café
6/01 Milwaukee, WI - Turner Hall Ballroom
6/02 Chicago, IL - Vic Theatre
6/04 Toronto, ON - Kool Haus
6/05 Philadelphia, PA - The Fillmore @ TLA
6/06 Boston, MA - Paradise Rock Club
6/07 Washington, DC - 9.30 Club
6/11 New York, NY - Terminal 5

Good lord, you've really gotten off the beaten track there, Luke. With the possible exception of Columbus Ohio, there's nothing that an pensioner's whistle-stop tour of the States wouldn't have visited. And Columbus is hardly "a crazy little town": it's the state capital of Ohio, 15th biggest city in the US, population of three quarters of a million.

Could Luke be trying to romanticise his band's "struggles"?

He bridles when the Sophie Heawood suggests they might be posh:

But suggest they are posh, and there is a murmur of dissent - their frontman may have boarded at Bedales, the liberal school in Hampshire, but, he says, he felt out of place there among the offspring of millionaires. And they didn't all go to private schools, they protest - new bass player Dan Logan was home-schooled - and what does class matter anyway?

You have to be quite desperate to try and live down your well-connected, fluffed-pillowed roots to offer "being home-schooled" as an example of a tough background. It's right up there with "I'm not posh; my chauffeur doesn't wear a cap".

The band try and fight the accusations that their music is a bit limp, but actually wind up demonstrating exactly what the problem is:

"The thing is," says Pritchard, "talking to other friends in bands, whether they're signed to indies or majors, they seem to have a lot more meddling from their label. But because we deliver pop songs - in their terms, songs they can work with - they always leave us to it. Our A&R guy only came to the studio once while we were recording the album."

Now, that could be a sign that the label have such faith in The Kooks that they don't need to worry about what they're up to. On the other hand - actually, the same hand - the label have such confidence that the band are going to deliver something so commercially attuned, they don't need to worry. If a cow learned to cut its own arse up into steaks and to make beefburgers with its own eyelids, you wouldn't need a slaughterman.

The Kooks split. But not enough.

Max Rafferty has left The Kooks, for the second time. The band have got a replacement - because they teach you that 'the show must go on' at stage school - but for now, we're choosing to see it as one down, three to go.

Kooks pleased with themselves

The Kooks are talking up their next record:

"I think we've made a dynamic album. Every song has its own character. It's a good pop album. But talk is cheap - I want everyone to hear it."

Oh, you're alright, Luke. We're quite happy to take your word for it. We really don't need to hear it. Indeed, as it's called Konk and includes a track Do You Wanna (Make Love To Me), we're more than happy not to listen to it. Ever.

GlastOn TV: A glimpse of Pete Doherty

I'm not going to pretend that I'm television production material, but I'm struggling to understand the thought process which led BBC Three to show a sliver of Babyshambles - and I mean a sliver, I don't think Doherty actually sang a coherent word in the slice that made it to screen - before cutting away to The Kooks live.

Okay, it was absolutely live rather than taped, like the Babyshambles performance, but since they could join The Kooks at any point, wouldn't the fascinating experience of watching Doherty in front of a massive crowd, basking in having his words sung back to him, have been worth persevering with for a while longer? It would have been nice to see if he rose to the occasion; as if he really fitted in this sort of environment as much as the glimpse made it seem. This Glastonbury appearance could be the point where Babyshambles, where Doherty, finally loses his claim to be any sort of cultural outlaw and admits he's become a Fast Show character - well-loved, but poorly sketched. It could be a musical turning point. It might not be, too.

But you know that it's at least got to be more interesting than the bloody Kooks, live or not.

The Arctic Monkeys have just got round to doing Diamonds Are Forever on the press red service (a world where time runs differently, and last night is forever now) - it's nice to see what they can manage with a song that calls for a little bit more than their own compositions.

Bjork - besides inspiring someone to shout out "she's got scary lady trumpet players" - was notable for reprising her swan dress by wearing what appeared to be pigeon roadkill wings yesterday evening.

The most perfect experience so far - from a multiscreen point of view - has been CSS, although if we find out who stole Lovefoxx's headband, we'll kick their asses from here to Rio. It looks like security - in something of a first - have learned to not immediately treat a singer touching the audience as a code red this year. Although maybe if they had, she'd not have lost her headband.

Oh dear. Perhaps the Queens of Noize would have been better off if they hadn't scripted their links. The big question, though, from a presentation point of view is why they whipped the big sofa out from under Phil Jupitus and Lauren Laverne on BBC Two during the pre-Doctor Who portion of the evening. They threw to one of Colin Murray's "reports" (he is the one-man skateboarding duck of the festival) sitting on it; upon their return, it was gone. Perhaps it was banished because it gave the air of Jupitus having come up trumps on the mail-order bride deal.

Amy Winehouse hates The Kooks. Really, really hates them.

You'd almost have to feel sorry for Luke Pritchard, singer with The Kooks. No matter what anyone's done, nobody deserves to be given the wrong side of Amy Winehouse's tongue:

"All I said to her was that I enjoyed her latest album. And suddenly, out of the blue, she had a really massive go at me. At one point she told me to fucking pull my head out of my arse. It was really weird. Everyone was just standing around looking at her.

"It's strange because she was really nice to begin with. But when I went up to her at the photoshoot she suddenly turned really cold. She's crackers. I fucking don't give a shit. Some people are just like that - artists like Van Morrison who's really moody."

You know who else suddenly starts shouting at people for no reason? The men who sit by the bus stop at the end of the lane drinking the vinegar from No Frills Beetroot.

But perhaps Amy is just like Van Morrison.

Back to work

Hard at work in the studio right now: Starsailor, who are pledging they're going to bring back the ballads:

"I think we have struck a great balance between our heavier side and our more emotional downbeat side. There are some stompers certainly but also the ballads are back! I can't wait for you to hear some of these songs and we hope to be able to play them live for you in the near future."

They do sound better when they're miserable, so that's good news.

Less encouragingly, The Kooks have returned to Brighton to start pulling together a second album. You can see why, what with the first one having been so popular and everything, but... it's still not a tantalising prospect, is it?