100 years of paranoia

We'd imagine, having seen the 1909 End-user licence agreement from an RCA Victor 78 that EMI are probably still pursuing people who've violated that contract. Or suing their grandkids, anyway.

Chavtastic

Last night in London, something between a sprawling mess and a glorious coming-together: Carl Barat, Gary Powell, Jamie Reynolds, Steffan Halperin and Tim Burgess in a possible one-off supergroup extravaganza, The Chavs.

It's like a Travelling Wilburys for the living.

Clear Channel upset Britney, people with mental health problems

Lumbering media giant Clear Channel has royally pissed off Britney Spears - and offended anyone whose ever had a mental health problem - with a promotion for its Florida radio station WFLZ-FM. Because nothing is as funny as mental illness:

The WFLZ billboards included the slogans "Total nut jobs", "Shock Therapy" and "Certifiable", which ran across pictures of a bald Spears.

Law firm Lavely and Singer demanded the "immediate removal" of the banners in a letter to the station.

WFLZ's Todd Schnitt said the adverts were down but he was "not happy".

Let's hope that Scnitt's unhappiness doesn't deepen into a depression, otherwise he might find photos of him with the word "nut job" splashed across, up around the town.

Spears is annoyed not just with the implications of the ads, but also the uncleared use of her face.

Gennaro Castaldo watch: Bully

Of all the places you'd expect Gennaro Castaldo to crop up, who would have put money on him tailing a piece in the Swindon Advertiser, reacting to a group of schoolchildren's campaign to have a video game banned?

The kids are unhappy that Canis Canem Edit was available in their local HMV. They all wrote to the manager, and got no response, so instead they hopped on a train to ask their MP about it up in Westminster.

Gennaro, mind you, says we shouldn't be alarmed by the game:

HMV spokesman Gennaro Castaldo said the game was meant to empathise with the victims of bullying in showing them fighting back.

He also said that the company had never banned a game in order to maintain its customers' free choice, but that controversial games such as Canis Canem Edit are not usually promoted in store, meaning customers would have to search for them.

Ah! So it seems to be an official line at HMV then that the correct response to violence is more violence - presumably it's only a matter of time before Nipper is replaced by one of those jaws-on-legs dogs that perform the role of accounts overdue for drug dealers.

We're also entranced by this idea that HMV doesn't ban things because it wishes to maintain the customer's right to choose. Where's the hardcore porn section in our local store, then?

More to the point, isn't the same HMV which banned The Rolling Stones back catalogue from its Canadian branches because it was having a hissy fit at the Stones doing a deal with a rival store?

And how touching is the "well, customers have to look for it, so that's alright, then" defence - perhaps something drug dealers could look into: "Nah, I'm not a pusher, but if the kids find the heroin filed under 'H' in the 'Drugs for sale' cabinet, what can I do?"

Lightening the load

This is an act of genius - the worst thing about the end of each Glastobury festival is the dull taking-down of the tent, and then having to trudge back to the bus carrying it. If only you could leave it behind with a clear conscience.

Now, you can: Indeed, you're being encouraged to go home without your tent. Give Me Shelter is going to collect up donated/abandoned/unwanted tents after the festival is over, and use them to good advantage in the third world.

KT Tunstall is offering her support:

The idea has been endorsed by the singer KT Tunstall, who will be performing at Glastonbury. “Festivals have always epitomised openness, tolerance and community,” she said. “It’s great that Give Me Shelter can channel some of this vibe.”

It's not known if the cabins where people suspected of entering with forged tickets will also be sent overseas afterwards.

Ringoes electronic

When you see Ringo, will you tell him that I don't 'arf love him...

After years of mistrust of the online world, the Beatles are embracing digitisation with the passion of a deathbed convert.

Paul McCartney is currently appearing in adverts for iTunes and iPod; sadly, he's doing Dance Around in the spots, which is a song so awful the Frog Chorus have started to drop having worked with Thumbsaloft from their CV.

Meanwhile, Ringo has signed a deal with EMI which will allow his solo back catalogue to be made available digitally - something which could provide an almost laboratory-conditions test of longtail theories.

No Mo' Mojave

After a long period where it merely looked like they weren't going to do anything again, Mojave 3 have finally confirmed they're taking the Walt Disney option and putting themselves on ice for an indefinite hiatus.

Drummer Ian McCutcheon broke the news to the world:

"There are no plans what-so-ever to record another Mojave3 record."

Of course, since drummers are usually the last to find out what's going on in their bands, we imagine he said this with a note of some surprise.

Embed and breakfast man: The Go! Team

Fresh from theirSpace, an alternative Grip Like A Vice video:

Let him have it

Paul Ryder whatusedtobeintheMondays and his current band Big Arm were in New York filming a video for their new single when, by chance, a swarm of police cars came into view.

Ryder started to yell something he clearly hadn't thought through. Excited by the idea of using New York's finest as unpaid extras in his film, he bellowed:

Shoot the cops! Shoot the cops!

Luckily, the police decided to ask questions rather than responding by shooting back.

Glastonbury weather forecast

The forecast for the festival, according to Weather.com:

Thursday evening - heavy rain, 16 degrees
Thursday night - rain, 14 degrees
Friday daytime - rain/thunder, 17 degrees
Friday night - thunderstorms, 11 degrees
Saturday - showers, 17 degrees
Sunday - partly cloudy, showers in the evening, 16 degrees

So, take your pacamac if you're going, prepare your schadenfreude if you're not. Mind you, the organisers have spent £750,000 on new drainage to pledge a festival without mud this year. The weather seems determined to test that.

Amy Winetent

The leaking of Amy Winehouse's Glasto rider to the 3AM Girls suggests that someone isn't entirely thrilled by her demands:

On arrival Amy will be greeted with two bottles of Spanish red wine, a large bottle of vodka, a bottle of champagne and a bottle of brandy, one case of lager ("NOT Stella or Carling!"), 40 Marlboro Lights, a load of chocolate and three "good quality" HOT pizzas.

Apparently, it's stipulated that the pizzas have got to be hot, or they will be refused.

It's the middle of the countryside, Amy.

Still, Glasto has a way of getting back:

An insider tells us: "This is the most boozy list organisers have received so far... They are talking to Pizza Hut about biking in the pizzas."

Of all the pizza companies they could approach, they've chosen Pizza Hut. Neat.

The value of nothing

It's perhaps unsurprising that the sort of wedding where Lionel Richie is booked as a trophy rather than an entertainment hardly knows how to treat a singer. Richie had the misfortune to be booked for the wedding of John Terry and Toni Poole, and - according to Victoria Newton's column - struggled to make himself heard above the melee of people overpaid for playing football:

When he started singing Hello the boys started chanting back to him as if they were on the football ground terraces.

“They had downed so much champagne at the reception the guests became really lairy and started shouting over his set.

“In the end he asked the crowd to be quiet and said, ‘I’ve only got two more songs, please stick with me.’

“When he came off stage he moaned to one of the organisers, ‘I imagine this is what it’s like at a working men’s club’.”

Which is a little bit unfair to working men's clubs, to be honest.

Too grand for bandstand: The Wurzels walk

The Wurzels have taken the hump and pulled out of Glastonbury. They were unhappy at being shoved on the bandstand stage.

But it's not just they feel their dignity has been impugned; they're more upset they can't use their own sound engineers.

That, and that their dignity has been impugned:

"We would have loved to play but we don't feel it's right," said Tommy Banner from the band.

"Other novelty acts like Rolf Harris have been on better stages and we think we deserve it," added Pete Budd.

Although, to be fair, Rolf Harris is regularly on TV and - when he played - hadn't long since had a big hit with his cover of Stairway to Heaven whereas for all the goodwill towards the Wurzels, it is a while since they were at their peak.

Mind you, they're going to be fuming when they discover the Black Abbots are headlining the Pyramid Stage on the Sunday.

Gate crashes

Sheffield nightclub Gatecrasher has collapsed after a massive fire. A massive, massive one:

One onlooker told BBC Radio Sheffield: "It is a shame - it was one of the best clubs in Sheffield."

Smoke from the blaze could earlier be seen for miles across the city.

Eyewitnesses said plumes of smoke gradually spread across the city centre and turned from a dark grey colour to thick white to yellow cloud.

Sheffield city centre resident Kirsten Law said: "I was on the phone when I first noticed it and thought the whole development was on fire.

"I've had to go around closing all the windows because the smell of the smoke's so strong and have been watching the charred bits fly past the window, and I'm on the other side of town from Gatecrasher."

Mark UK has photos of the club in flames (well, smoke) on Flickr; as does RXSPN and there's also this one, from Alleroo, which captures a spooky juxtaposition.

Greek gigs end in violence

Two Athens concerts came to a nasty end at the weekend. Crowds leaving a gig in the Gaki area attacked a plainclothes policeman outside a tube station, while the Ejekt festival collapsed into riot after a gang gatecrashed the venue. Carrying weapons and teargas, the gatecrashers broke in during the Beastie Boy's set, and in the ensuing violence Rick Smith of Underworld was injured. After hospital treatment, Smith returned to the UK.

What the world needs: Another festival

With the festival diary starting to look as bloated as lower-league late-season fixture lists after a snowy winter, we're not sure where the top flight acts are going to come from for headlining all of them. Now, San Fransisco's Treasure Island (yes, it really is called that) is adding to the crush with a Mid September event. This year, they've got Modest Mouse and MIA signed on; they're also promising support from, erm, "information about environmental initiatives".

Ornette collapses

Slightly alarming news from the Bonnaroo festival at the weekend, with the collapse of Ornette Coleman. Apparently, it was a the combination of the 100 degree heat, Coleman's 77 years and his insistence on wearing a suit onstage.

He passed out, and although he came round quite quickly, he still went off to hospital for a quick once-over. He was released without the need for an overnight stay, which is good news.

Mojo give the gongs

We're a little surprised that in these multimedia end days in which we live that Mojo appear to have not bothered covering their own awards online, allowing the BBC to carry the winners first. Like not eating the cake at your own birthday party, surely?

Or perhaps they're just a little awkward about the winners:

Butter-advertising Ozzy Osbourne has won the Icon Award; Rehab was the song of the year; The Stooges picked up lifetime achievement awards and, while Ike Turner's habit of beating the shit out of Tina might be causing problems for him at the Edinburgh Jazz festival, it hasn't stopped Mojo presenting him with Best Legend.

Actually, can Legends be comparative? "I'm a better legend than you"? Alice Cooper picked up the hero prize, which is different to being a legend, of course.

Best album has gone to The Good, The Bad and the Queen; Arcade Fire are best live act; Surprisingly, Seasick Steve won the breakthrough act, which will probably do him about as much good as it did Colin Barely Rae last year.

Surviving Marleys a-plenty came out to accept the classic award for Exodus on behalf of Bob; Bjork took what the BBC call "the prestigious inspiration award" - we suspect the adjective is the BBC's, but we're not sure; Joy Division outstanding contribution and Suicide the inspiration in sound prize, whatever that means.

Apparently, all the EMAP magazine awards shows are henceforward going to be sponsored by Bitburger beers:

Adnams marketing director Steve Curzon said: "We know that music and movies are two subjects that score highly among the Bitburger target audience.

"Q, Empire, Mojo, Kerrang and Arena are all titles that embody socialising and exclusivity - these are watchwords of the Bitburger positioning within the UK."

We're not entirely sure that if we were trying to position a lager as exclusive we'd throw it at the Kerrang awards, but then we don't work in advertising.

EMI: A company in crisis

Almost five years to the day after revealing Ken Barry's reward for failure was £6million, EMI's annual reports reveals that in the year in which he was forced out, Alan Levy pocketed £4.6 million quid. Oh, and they're still paying him some benefits, despite him having been kicked out in January:

The annual report says: "Mr Levy is entitled to continue to receive for one year from termination the value of retirement benefits and benefits in kind provided to him under his employment agreement."

Part of the Kilimanjaro of cash Levy shovelled into his pockets was a £1.1million bonus. Now, you might wonder how a boss being ousted after issuing a profits warning might come to qualify for such a huge bonus:

Last year's extra £1.1m bonus - when fellow executives missed out on performance-related awards - is explained to shareholders as part of his contract, which states that "in the event of his termination without cause he would be entitled to a bonus in respect of the financial year in which the termination occurred, pro-rated down to the date of his termination, with the bonus being based on the average bonus achieved in the prior three years".

Technically, Levy went "without cause" and somehow got the cash.

Now, I'm not Alan Sugar, but if you have senior executives blessed with contracts where they can screw up, give up and cash up, it doesn't exactly make them as desperate to do well as if their payment required some sort of success, does it?

When you read Paul Birch's moist-eyed picture of record labels being "forced" to lay people off, you might want to ponder how many jobs might have been saved at EMI had Levy been paid according, if not to his needs, then at least to his value.

It's not all Shirley Bassey

There are reports on NME.com suggesting that The Libertines might reunite for Glastonbury, or, at least, Pete and Carl might stumble together onto a stage somewhere to run through It's Thelma I'm Marrying.

Although, admittedly, this is based less on inside knowledge and more on something that they read in the Mirror this morning - which is a little odd under the strapline "First for Music News". The NME does have exclusive photos of the pair working together in a studio last Friday, but, erm, isn't publishing them until they've been in the paper. And that was for Radio 2's Sergeant Pepper thing, so it's a safe bet there might be some BBC shots kicking around, too.

Back to the day job

Having agreed with Al Gore how terrible it is this obsession with Paris Hilton crowds out our awareness of global issues, Victoria Newton returns to her desk and files a story about Britney Spears swapping a dress with a friend on a night out.

Victoria Newton: a staging post on the road to the White House

But for one vote on the Supreme Court, Al Gore would have been President. Instead, he's having to endure being interviewed by Victoria Newton. At great length, it must be said.

Yes, they've sent Victoria Newton to Istanbul to talk to the former Vice President.

On News 24's review of the papers yesterday evening, the guest reviewer suggested that the unlikely appearance of a long, rambling, pointless interview which "would bore the knickers off" the paper's readers was actually a signal of Murdoch accepting that the next resident of the White House might be a Democrat, and the delivery of a large interview with a senior figure is a signal of the business that they could do in the future.

Which is a fascinating idea. We presume sending the bumbling, starstruck Newton - a woman who can barely string together a thirty word nib on Beyonce's hair - was therefore a warning of what will happen if the Democrats don't accept the rapprochment.

Clearly, Newton is unable to believe that she's turned up on the news pages, and has turned in something midway between 'what I did in my holidays' and a hagiography:

Mr Gore hopes the shows will encourage people to change their lifestyles to help reduce carbon emissions and, more importantly, that politicians will listen and take action.

So I was intrigued to meet the man himself and see if he could convince ME to take a look at my carbon footprint.

My first impression as I walked into the room was just how tall and imposing Mr Gore is.

He has a booming, deep belly laugh, yet when he speaks he sounds like a gentle giant with his soft southern lilt. I found him immediately likeable, with a warm and friendly demeanour.

There's a but coming.

The only thing that was slightly off-putting was the orange make-up he had plastered on for the cameras (a look perfected by the ghastly Donatella Versace).

Clunk.

It's certainly the first time that Gore has ever been compared to Donatella Versace, that's for sure.

Still, while Gore might wince at Newton's style, he won't have a problem with the fawning regurgitation of his every utterance. Sometimes, as when Al responds to the criticisms of Live Earth raised by Bob Geldof, you find yourself wading through a transcript:

When I asked Mr Gore about the criticisms, he gave a robust response.

He said: “We will have specific goals that will be very significant and hard-hitting.

“We will announce those before the concert then emphasise them heavily during the concert.

“What Bob Geldof did with Live Aid and Live 8 was fantastic and he has followed up very diligently, as many of the others involved with Live Aid and Live 8 have. I’ve nothing but good things to say about them.

“These concerts would not be possible in any way without the pioneering and creativity of Geldof and those who helped him.

“But he has said in the aftermath of those efforts how important it is to have specific goals and a continuing follow-on effort and we have designed the Live Earth concerts in just that way.

“This one day, 24 hours long, will not only be a wake-up call for the world but the beginning of a multi-year campaign to organise an effective response to the climate crisis.”

The most important question about Live Earth - that it is, itself, going to have a huge environmental footprint and that it might be better for the planet to not fly Linkin Park to Japan and UB40 to South Africa is left unasked, and although Newton does at least think about the 'aren't these stars the sort of people who create more carbon than the rest of us' question, but it gets swamped in a sparkly eyed fawn over how clever Al is to get Madonna on board:

In a bid to recruit top-name stars to sign up for Live Earth, Mr Gore tapped up the Red Hot Chili Peppers when he presented them with a Grammy Award in LA in February. He travelled to London for a one-on-one meeting with Madonna.

He did such a good job convincing the Queen Of Pop she agreed to close the concert at Wembley. Mr Gore said: “My wife and I met her and we had a wonderful conversation and she agreed to help.”

Just one thing though . . . did he manage to also persuade Madge to ditch her private jets in favour of commercial airlines to help reduce her own carbon emissions?

I got an extremely carefully- worded answer in response.

Mr Gore said: “Well, I appreciate and respect her as an artist and as a person and there are many artists who are offsetting their role in contributing to the CO2 build-up and I understand that.

“The essence of this problem is that we live in a civilisation that has developed rather fully according to a pattern that emphasises the burning of carbon-based fuels.

“So making the shift to renewable energy is a challenge for everyone that will be a lot easier when governments around the world adopt the new strategies that will make this shift a lot easier to accomplish.”

I’ll take that as a “No” then!

A journalist, of course, would have asked a follow-up question there to actually get an answer with some content in it.

They give a separate page on the website to American politics, behind a link which promises:

Click here to see if Al Gore is going to run for President

Blimey. Did Victoria manage to get a straight ruling in-or-out from him, something which has proved beyond some of the sharpest minds in American journalism?

Of course not:

Mr Gore, who lost the 2000 election race to George W Bush, has so far refused to admit he has any interest in trying for office again.

But when I asked Mr Gore if he would consider going for the job, he replied: “I have not ruled it out entirely because I’m only 59, and 59 is the new 58, you know. But I don’t expect to be a candidate again.”

Good God, since she seems to think that he's never said before that, at some point in the future, he might just run again (he has, of course), if he ever does find himself on a ticket, can you imagine the "as I reported first" trilling we're going to hear?

But the real weakness in the feature comes at the start:

In an exclusive Sun interview, Mr Gore said: “The G8 have been meeting in Germany and the United States is throwing a monkey wrench in the efforts to get a consensus.

The planet is in distress and all of the attention is on Paris Hilton. We have to ask ourselves what is going on here?”

So, the woman whose day job is, erm, reporting on Lindsay Lohan and her ilk, and the man whose global warming concert is relying entirely on the power of the fascination with the likes of Madonna to spread his message are sitting in a room tutting over how the public are more interested in Pairs Hilton than melting ice caps. Whoever would have thought, eh?

Venice Festival washed out

The Venice Festival clambered into a small dinghy and floated off this weekend when heavy rain forced a cancellation. On the other hand, since the bill was Pearl Jam, Iron Maiden and the Smashing Pumpkins, you could argue that it was for the best, really.

Magnetic Fields repelled to New Year

If you've been hoping to a new Magnetic Fields album this year, bad news: The House of Tomorrow is reporting there now won't be anything until 2008; there's a promise that something slightly less vague in terms of dates will be announced "soon".

Britain's Got Talent, apparently

As if the programme itself didn't disprove the title - why would a country that possessed talent gather round to watch Piers Morgan instead - the depressing news that the Travelling Wilburys have gone into the album chart at number one would be enough to prove that, sorry, we don't.

The Wilburys project was creaking when it was new - like a group of blokes getting drunk at a barbecue and deciding to release their singalong as a record, complete with a faux backstory which might just have been worth doing had the men not been amongst the most famous on earth. But for the grim joshing to have a second run at throttling the life out the charts suggests that, actually, there is a God, and boy, is he pissed at us.

GoSub routine

The Go! Team have a deal which will see them join SubPop in America for their album, which, it transpires, will be known as Proof Of Youth.

Editors silenced by German police

With the end of the G8 conference, where are all those fired-up German police going to work out their frustrations now?

By going tooled up to march Editors off the stage in Cologne, apparently. The band were "too loud":

"The venue was an old church over the road from a load of houses and, during our set, they called the police to complain about the noise," bassist Russell Leetch told NME.COM. "The first we knew about it was when the police turned up just as we were starting our encore and told our tour manager to stop the set."

You wouldn't want to risk a bustling barbecue in the Rhineland, would you?

One confused old man speaks up for another

Ozzy Osbourne has, somewhat surprisingly, decided to stick up for Noel Gallagher and Oasis:

“It's dead easy to start a forest fire in this game. You say, 'Ozzy's got a false nose.' All of a sudden, everyone looks the same. Same thing with Oasis.

"Everybody says they rip them [The Beatles] off, but I don't think so. Everyone just kept saying it and it stuck."

We're a little lost about where the false nose thing came from - that would have to be one hell of a paranoid delusion, wouldn't it? "Sharon, can you see if my false nose is running in the NME, love?" And why would the news that Ozzy has a false nose suddenly make everyone look the same?

That's puzzling, but not as strange as the suggestion that Noel's constant generational cringe at the feet of Lennon and McCartney, the obvious similarity in sound, Liam's habit of trying to pass himself off as a waxwork Lennon and general 'we wish we were the Beatles-ness' of the band might have less to do with the comparisons between Oasis and the Beatles than some sort of group-think.

Maybe Ozzy's right, and it's just coincidence that the band they happen to be hoiked onto is one which they could be so easily confused with a tribute to.

Lily Allen deconstructed

We'd like to heartily recommend CFBGoesPop's track-by-track, in-depth review of Alright, Still. We say 'review', it's more like watching a butcher take a lamb to pieces.

Amy in the air

We wouldn't want to be on a plane with Amy Winehouse:

Amy was groping Blake in business class on flight SK0526. Then she climbed up and straddled him.
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A fellow passenger told me: "They were practically having sex. It was cringeworthy."

Unbelievable. Everyone knows if you want to shag on a plane, you have to go first class.

It gets worse:

During the flight, Amy got up and walked back to economy where her band were sitting.

She's travelling in business while the people she relies on get shoved in coach? Charming.