Simon LeBon has sympathy for One Direction

Simon LeBon looks at One Direction. He know what they're going through. That was him, once. (Except Duran had to come up with ideas and make records and play instruments, but... you know what I mean).

Simon feels for them:

"They are a cash cow for so many people," he said. "There's a huge pressure to never take a break."

I'm not sure they're cash cows, are they? They're more golden-egg laying geese, which will be worked to death. And not slowly. Maybe battery hens.

Bookmarks: Duran Duran

Superb work from the Newcastle Chronicle website, which has dug into its archives for the story of the time Andy Taylor opened a wine bar called Rio in Whitley Bay:

And the following year we reported on an even more bizarre problem.

“Panic broke out at the Tyneside wine bar owned by Duran Duran’s Andy Taylor when someone freed man-eating piranha fish from their tank,” we said.

“Bar staff at Rio rushed to rescue the fearsome fish, which eat human flesh, by scooping them into pint pots from between the feet of horrified customers.

“No one was bitten, but a few customers received an unwelcome soaking when 200 gallons of water in the tank gushed out.”

Duran Duran sue themselves, officially, sort-of

If you're of a certain age, you will have had disappointing experiences with fanclubs. (Younger readers - fan clubs were what you used to do before they had street teams, when you were marketed at, and not pressganged into being part of the marketing effort.)

Certainly, I'm starting to think that glossy A-Ha poster magazine might now never, ever turn up. It's not the three pounds that stings, it's the amount of time I spent making sure the self-addressed envelope was beautifully presented.

Duran Duran, it turns out, are experiencing a similar disappointing experience from the other side - and they're suing their own fan club:

The lawsuit, filed Monday in Cook County Circuit Court, alleges that Worldwide Fan Clubs, Inc. entered into a contract with Duran Duran in 2010 that stipulated the company would create and manage a fan club for the band.

The fan club was also to warehouse and sell band merchandise, maintain accurate fan club records, collect membership fees, keep accurate accounting and give Duran Duran 75 percent of all profits, the suit said. Worldwide Fan Clubs would keep the other 25 percent.

The band is now claiming Worldwide Fan Clubs failed to keep accurate accounting records and make revenue payments to the band, according to the suit.

The problem seems to be, then, that there wasn't as much money as Duran were expecting. Now, that could be because the money wasn't being split properly, or it could simply be because there weren't as many fans as the band expected.

In effect, Duran could be using this lawsuit to try and tell if they're actually still popular.

Yoghurt advert pulled after, but not because, Duran complained

So Yoplait were running an advert (presumably only in the US) which put Hungry Like The Wolf on the soundtrack.

Because, you see, if you were hungry like a wolf, a tiny little pot of fermented milk would fill you right up. Apparently.

Duran Duran were unhappy:

Many of you have written to us, voicing your dismay about the recent license of our song Hungry Like the Wolf, to a yoghurt commercial. Please know, Duran Duran do not support this usage of their music and unfortunately, this particular license was granted without any prior notification to any of us. Had we known, under no circumstances would we have backed it.

Thankfully, the ad has now been taken off the air and moving forward we hope to avoid any further situations like this.

Well, yes. The advert has been taken off the air, but not because of LeBon et al's objections. Slicing Up Eyeballs explains:

On the yogurt maker’s Facebook page, a number of people posted complaints in recent days about the use of “Hungry Like the Wolf” because of its connection to the Diane Downs murder case 30 years ago. In May 1983, Downs shot her three children in the back of her car in Springfield, Ore., killing one of them. “Hungry Like the Wolf” was playing on the car’s radio at the time.

Initially, Yoplait reps responded by defending the song’s use, writing:

“We chose the music because it’s a popular song that felt right for this ad. The Yoplait team has discussed this quite a bit and found that the large majority of people have only positive connections to this song, given that the Diane Downs incident was more than 30 years ago.”

By late this past week, though, Yoplait had changed its tune, saying the ad was being removed from the air:

“When we chose the song, we had no idea of its connection to this terrible event. We take your feedback seriously, and yes, we have decided to remove this ad from the air while we consider other versions. Please know that it may take a couple of days until the ad is fully removed. We’re again sorry that it’s upset you and promise there was no intention to cause such disappointment.”

Given the ad was pulled because someone killed their family while listening to the song, I'm not sure I'd have gone with the word "thankfully" if I'd been in Duran Duran. Mind you, if I'd worked for Yoplait I'm not entirely sure I'd have described the shooting of three children by their mother as an "incident", like it was the theft of a traffic cone.

Twittergem: Gary Kemp

In its eulogy for Tie Rack, BBC News compared the chain and rival Sock Shop with some New Romantic heavyweights.

This sort of thing doesn't go unnoticed:

So Spandau are Sock Shop and Duran Tie Rack. White towelling, in that case. http://t.co/1RmegHahiv

— Gary Kemp (@garyjkemp) November 21, 2013

Simon LeBon is a super puffer

Simon LeBon's calling out of Robin Thicke for misogynystic bullshit is welcome:

“The problem with Robin Thicke’s video is it disempowered all the women in it,”[...]
“I think Robin made a bit of a mistake, because he’s not a bad guy, he’s not a misogynist, but he’s getting off on the chicks in the video and all that stuff. The theme of the song is, 'You say you don’t want it, but you do’, and that’s, actually, quite scary if you carry it through, so I felt that that was a mistake.”

Because, of course, Duran Duran would never have used naked women to pep up a pop video, would they? Why, LeBon might demand to know if we should be flinging this filth at our pop kids.

What's also notable is where The Daily Telegraph caught up with him:

Le Bon [spoke with] Mandrake at Boisdale Canary Wharf, where he was crowned The Spectator Cigar Smoker of the Year.

Simon LeBon is the what now? There are many things I think of when I think of Simon LeBon, but 'there's not just a cigar smoker, but probably the Wayne Rooney of cigar smokers' isn't one of them.

Bookmarks: John Taylor

Splendid work by BBC News, which invites John Taylor to re-answer questions he first took from Number One and Smash Hits back when he was the most famous cheekbones on the planet:

Q: Why are you a tax exile? (Smash Hits Book of Personal Files, November 1986)

JT: "I didn't know I was. The only time we took a year out was '83 and I don't remember planning it in advance. It was just served up for us - this is what we're going to do. We were recording the difficult third album. We did it in the south of France, the Caribbean and finished it off in Sydney. These days I go backwards and forwards between the States and here and it's all the same tax wise."

In the Smash Hits grilling, he was quoted as saying he did not see why, "with a career that may at best last five years", he should give 70% of his earnings to the government. He says now: "I don't have a problem with tax."

Gordon in the morning: You are old

Tony Hadley, out of the past, is convinced that Danny Boyle got the Olympics opening ceremony wrong:

He told Absolute Radio: “If I’m honest I would have liked a really young band to have closed it.

“If you’ve got Sir Steve Redgrave handing over the torch to the youngsters, it would have been nice to have had One Direction. They’re our biggest export at the moment, pure pop.

“One Direction with the Royal Philharmonic, with about 100 singers in a choir, behind them.

“To me that would have been the new generation kind of thing.”

Hadley's acute nose for putting on a great show explains why his former arch-rivals Duran Duran spent the evening of the launch playing a massive date in Hyde Park as part of the Cultural events surrounding the games, and Hadley was sitting at home tutting.

It sounds like Hadley was desperately hoping for a rerun of that awful moment when Leona Lewis popped up out of a double decker bus at the Beijing closing ceremony. Has he heard One Direction? Seriously?

The Four Nations

The grim attempts to force us to have fun connected to the Olympics grind on. (I've checked, by the way, it really is the Olympics we're hosting and, sadly, not the Laffalympics - the hope that we might get to see Yogi Bear and Muttley racing each other to climb to the top of Big Ben was the one piece of hope to which I was clinging.)

So, as part of the kick-off, there's going to be big concert with a band representing each of the home nations. The line-up has just been announced:

The gig will feature acts from all four nations of the UK, with Duran Duran representing England and Snow Patrol appearing for Northern Ireland.

Stereophonics will represent Wales and Paolo Nutini will play for Scotland.

Holy plodding ponies; if Damian Green's two-hour waits at Heathrow don't put people off coming to the UK, this is going to.

Three of the grimmest acts ever to find their way into the back of a Transit Van and Duran, who are great but hardly a shining example of 21st Century English music.

Let's hope the sportspeople aren't being picked on the same basis, otherwise Team GB is going to consistent solely of badminton players and Daley Thompson.

Georgie Davis is coming out

1970s armed robber George Davis - who has always protested his innocence - is taking his appeal to the High Court.

And what, you may ask, does this have to do with a music website?



That's why. Spandau weren't the only New Romantics who had a soft spot for the old armed blaggers, although Duran chose better than developing a Krays fetish.

The video for Friends Of Mine looks to me like a Swap Shop appearance. But surely that's an odd place to sing about armed criminals?

This feels the wrong way round

Duran Duran remixing Depeche Mode? Wouldn't Depeche Mode remixing Duran be a bit more interesting?

Bono's friends: Tony vouches for him

In Tony Blair's new book, The Journey Which Apparently Ends With Me Turning Into Ted Heath, there's this:

A passage on page 555 of 'A Journey', Blair writes that Bono "could have been a president or prime minister standing on his head. He had an absolutely natural gift for politicking, was great with people, very smart and an inspirational speaker ... motivated by an abundant desire to keep on improving, never really content or relaxed. I knew he would work with George [W. Bush] well, and with none of the prissy disdain of most of his ilk".

In other words, Bono was one of them. I don't think this counts as a revelation - nobody has really ever thought that Bono was one of us for years, right?

A gift for politicking. That would be on the money.

Blair also touches on Red Wedge, Spinner points out:

"Back in the late 1980s there was a group of musicians called Red Wedge, fronted by people like Paul Weller and Billy Bragg, who came out and campaigned for us. It was great. But I remember saying after one of their gigs ... 'We need to reach the people listening to Duran Duran and Madonna.'"

Really? When Red Wedge were active, Duran were in their Warren Cuccurullo wilderness. Surely the sort of people clinging doggedly to a cause that had long since lost its relevance was what Blair was against, not for?

Glastonbury: Weekend without Weekend Without Make-Up

Who won't be going to Glastonbury, then? (Besides 'as many people as Michael Eavis had hoped for'?)

Not The Long Blondes: Dorian Cox has fallen seriously ill and they've cancelled their festival dates - including Glastonbury - and Duran Duran support slots.

Credit crunch claims new victims

Hah- you think you've had it hard, what with your house being repossessed, your job vanishing and your children being handed to the Inland Revenue in something to do with the 10p tax rate that you didn't quite catch.

Think again.

Duran Duran are really suffering. They'd lined up a job playing to senior executives from Deutsche Bank for an easy half-a-million pounds, only now that someone's found out the entire world banking system was based on a mortgage on a single trailer-park home in the middle of Texas and that's only worth half what it should be because it's going an unshakeable smell of wet dog in the bedroom, the bank have decided not to go ahead.

Duran have got the hump. Apparently. They're supposed to have re-routed their entire world tour in order to play the gig and everything. We've been trying to work up some sort of sympathy for the thought of people who were so willing to effectively dance as rich men threw coins, but we're finding it difficult.

Instead, here's Cate LeBon, doing Shoeing The Bones, on the grounds that she's got the same surname as Simon LeBon, but is more fun to listen to.

Looking into the eyes of the Big D

Adding his voice to those worried about the future of Amy Winehouse - Simon LeBon. Did she not listen to his warning when Duran covered White Lines? How could she ignore such a message?

"Any kind of drug conviction can get you banned from America and Amy has the potential to be massive over there.

"This is her time, her moment, and I'd hate to see her waste it."

Yes. It'd ruin her chances of winning a Grammy, if she died from a crack-smack-overdone-overdose, wouldn't it?

Duran drop Iraq track

Duran Duran have left off the Iraq song from their new album because they hoped to sell some copies in the US. Sorry, because it was too angry, apparently:

Nick Rhodes says, "We've always reflected what's around us but we always tried to pick the more uplifting subjects. There was so much doom and gloom around that this record was becoming angry and political."

Good heavens, not connecting with the real world, you mean? Thank god you put a stop to that, otherwise you might have ceased to be a bunch of fading popstars burning through goodwill to your youngerselves in lieu of offering any relevance to the modern world.

After all, why just bum people out by focusing on a war that so far has wiped something in the order of 75,000 civilians? Why not focus on the positive things instead? We look forward to your album, 'Arbys Introduce Subs', with its lead-off single 'Watching kittens in boxes on YouTube', Mr. Rhodes.

Must we fling this filth at our pop kids? Again?

This, in pop video terms, must be the equivalent of covering one of your earlier hits: Duran Duran are making an x-rated video (well, 15, anyway) with naked breasts and probably some mild S&M.

The theme is inspired by ("ripped off from") Steven Meisel's models in rehab photoshoot; presumably this means we're only a handful of months away from Duran doing a rape as weapon themed-video, too.

Groovy, man: 3AM save the world

Today's 3AM Girls column bizarrely is subtitled "VIP backstage at Live Earth", as if they've got themselves confused with the Sunday People's column. But even more puzzlingly, they've started writing like they're Ed Sullivan:

JOHNNY Borrell looked less than pleased when Razorlight's stage monitors failed in the middle of their set. He told the crowd: "Sorry, you can hear us but we can't hear ourselves."

Well we can assure you, Johnny, you were simply fab.

Fab? Fab?

There's also a bizarre piece about Justin Timberlake:

OH Lordy! Whatever happened to Justin Timberlake's appearance on stage?

Our ill-informed rivals claimed that JT was going to appear on stage with Duran Duran. Sorry, but it was never going to happen.

Well done, 3Amies, for, erm, reporting that something didn't happen in front of hundreds of millions people and trying to spin that as somehow proving that they're in the know.

We can all do that: I can exclusively reveal there was never any chance that Phil Collins would bring Sonia on stage to do Somewhere Over The Rainbow. The possibility that a naked Anna Friel would dance to the sound of panpipes on the Wembley stage? That was never, ever going to happen.

Still, the 3AMies did do some useful poking about backstage:

PRIZE for the most exotic dressing room goes to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. It was like a boudoir with incense, drapes and Afghan rugs.

All, we're certain, carbon-offset. We bet.

Because, like, fame is crazy, yeah?

Duran Duran have come up with a name for their new album, with its hint-of-desperation collaborations with Justin Timberlake and Timbaland. (They should have gone for Tim Burgess, too. We'd forgive them for a Timberlake-Timbaland-Timburgess trio.)

It's called Red Carpet Massacre, which they probably think is clever but really just underlines how limited their world is.

Timbaland has had enough

This could be bad news for any halfway-dumpered act looking for a spot of pricey "street" credibility: Timbaland is stepping down:

"Music is boring right now. I'm too innovative for the world."

Yes, nobody could accuse you of producing record after record, all of which sound interchangeable. We do agree that music would be a lot less boring if you went off to try your hand at something else.

"I've been doing it so long, I'm about to throw in the towel. I'm about to de-crown myself and pass it over to one of the up-and-coming producers under me. They won't be able to be me - there's only one Timbaland - but there's a certain sound that I try to teach."

Timbaland, you're a brand-name but so-so producer; you don't have to anoint a chosen one like you're the Dali lama.

Timbaland is currently working with Duran Duran. What a loss to the bleeding edge of new music his retirement will prove.