No Rock And Roll Fun

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The occupied Empire

It's lovely to see Sneaky Sound System's Donnie Sloan get credits on the Empire Of The Sun stuff.

It's just a pity it appears to have taken the threat of lawyers for his involvement to be acknowledged:

Sloan, based in London, used a UK legal team to get writer, performer and producer credits. He says: "It did not quite get to the legal stage.

"But I had to threaten it in order for them to recognise my contribution. It has been a bittersweet experience. But I have worked hard to move on."

It turns out that Sloan hadn't actually been expecting EOTS to be using his music in the first place:

Sloan claims he gave the tracks to Nick Littlemore, of electro-pop duo Pnau, for remix consideration.

"I told Nick I didn't want him to use the tracks. I was hoping to save them for my own project," Sloan says.

Two years later, Littlemore formed EOTS with Luke Steele and Sloan's songs resurfaced.

Sloan said Steele, Littlemore, and his Pnau partner, producer Peter Mayes, planned to use the tracks for EOTS.

It's all a bit disappointing. Even the supposedly happy ending doesn't sound that happy, does it?

Gordon in the morning: George Sampson can never go home

Having slagged off Simon Cowell in the press, George Sampson has now turned his attention to his hometown, as Gordon reports this morning:

He told me: "I'm getting complaints at the moment about not getting back to my roots. I've not been back to Warrington in months.

"Why would I want to go there? It's boring, there's nothing to do. It's like a ghost town.

"All people do there is hang around outside shops."

Unlike elsewhere, where teenagers fly about on spacescooters having special-touching parties.

I guess that, compared with Skins, Warrington might look a little pedestrian. But Imperial Phase Rome looks a little pedestrian compared with Warrington.

But if Sampson thinks it's dull right now, he should have seen it before Eileen Bilton worked her magic.

So, how is George's ahem career coming on? Apparently, he's tiring of life on the stage:

George - in London to launch new toy Battle Strikers this week - has signed up for his first major role in 3D film Street Dance, due out in 2010.

Yes, yes, he was launching a toy. You can see why after attending the launch of some plastic kids toys, Warrington must seem so quiet.

Anyway, George, tell us about this film. Street Dance, eh? What's that about, then?

He said: "It's all about street dancers. I play a character called Eddie.

"I like acting. It's a real challenge. I'd like to do it full-time. I like film and TV more than stage."

Ah yes. Playing a dancing bloke. That must be a real stretch for your acting talents.

There doesn't seem to be any reason at all for the Michael Jackson and "his" children at home video. Surely, Gordon, there must be some reason for this invasion into the privacy of children at such a raw time in their lives - especially one which appears under your byline?

The intimate home video gives a moving insight into the King of Pop as a parent to son Prince Michael, 12, and daughter Paris, 11, at his Neverland Ranch in California.

Um... no, don't think that quite justifies the invasion of privacy. Do you want to try again?

The video, available exclusively here on The Sun website, is a reminder of how close the star was to his young family.

Again, Gordon, that doesn't seem to be a reason for publishing a private video of the kids. Perhaps the explanation of why it was okay to ignore the Press Complaints Commission rules on children fell off the article?

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Maybe they wanted to check Jackson was still dead

Interesting statistic tucked into the LA Times piece about how the coroner's office has been leaking Jacko information like a cryogenics facility in a powercut:

In the days before Michael Jackson’s death certificate was made public, only a few people had legitimate reason to view the file in the state's password-protected database.

Even after the document was released, access was supposed to be limited toauthorized staffers.

But by the first week in July, the pop star's records had been viewed more than 300 times, said Craig Harvey, the chief coroner's investigator.

Which isn't even near as the number of times people have run round the offices with his brain on their head, pretending to be Monty Burns pretending to be Davey Crockett.

[Spokesperson Ken] August said it was too early for him to say how many people inappropriately viewed Jackson's death certificate or where they worked, but said he had no indication of "widespread, inappropriate access."

Sure: in California, everyone's death certificate gets passed around like an especially piquant New Yorker cartoon.

It's what he would have wanted, as well

In a bid to try and make "Michael Jackson fan" look perpetually like a euphemism for needing a bit of extra help to do everyday things, some of them are pushing for Michael Jackson to appear on the shortlist for this year's Nobel prizes.

Now, you could perhaps see a case being essayed for a physics prize - moonwalking defies all the laws of the physical world; or at least sort-of looks like it might until you slow down the video.

Physiology? He certainly broke new ground there.

Even literature would have a slim case - there was an autobiography, wasn't there?

But no: they're going for the peace prize.

The peace prize.

One of the letters, written by Los Angeles student Anneliese Nichole Brown, pleads: "Michael's message for humankind has always been rooted in compassion and kindness.

"He has succeeded in a lifelong dedication to the well-being of humanity. Moving beyond all political, social and economic borders, Michael Jackson consistently spread a positive message of global unity, healing and love."

Well, he was consistent in his message, in a "give me a couple of months and I'll get together some sort of tribute act to help in the face of a natural or man-made disaster. Or a few months. I'll be in touch, honest."

But has his message for humankind really "always" been rooted in compassion?

Billie Jean is not my lover; there are zombies crawling up my leg; here, young man, take this large sum of money and never again mention that I may or may not have touched your winkle; I'm bad, I'm bad, I'm really, really bad; I am going to play your gig; oh, I am not going to play your gig.

It's not a totally convincing cascade of a compassionate message, although he did do the song to the rat which Esther Rantzen used to soundtrack a campaign about a sick kiddie.

But I can't help feeling that the Nobel people might be looking for something a little more solid.

Didn't you use to be Cornershop?

Aidan Smith goes to talk to Tjinder Singh for Scotland On Sunday; doesn't exactly get off to a good start:

I AM STANDING outside the Tube station waiting for one of pop's forgotten men. Embarrassingly, I have already approached two likely suspects and been met with blank looks and, in one case, a flurry of sign langauge. As the appointed hour comes and goes, I lose all confidence in my ability to remember what Tjinder Singh looks like and start collaring white faces. Well, it's been a long time.

If you're just heading up to random Anglo Asians and asking them "are you that bloke out of the Cornershop?", you should, perhaps, expect a flurry of sign language.

The trouble is Smith seems to think of Cornershop as the band that had a number one hit and vanished, whereas, really, Brimful Of Asha was more of an aberration than the subsequent radio silence.

It was way back in 2002 ,that Singh stuck a "Back in 10 mins" sign in the Cornershop window. If his band was a real shop, how could it possibly survive? I am imagining it alongside assorted comedy emporia – the one holding the last remaining copy of JR Hartley's Fly Fishing, the best place to buy fork handles, the Stella Street grocer's with a zonked-out Keef Richards behind the till – when finally he shows.

More to the point, what if the band really was a corner? A corner that went missing for seven years? Where would people turn?

Luckily, Tjinder does turn up and offers some particularly bitter words about their treatment at the hands of Beggars Banquet. And the interview is a great read, once it gets to the interview and past the padding.

And stops going back to it.

But while their film may be a fine thing – similar to another lost project, a reggae album – we should focus on Judy Sucks A Lemon For Breakfast, a conventional release from a defiantly unconventional band. It's fully stocked with familiar Cornershop wares, not least Singh's elusive lyrics.

It's a conventionally unconventional album from them, because they conventionally don't have a sound, but somehow they sound like they always sound: the unconventional convention. If they were a convention, though, I wonder what sort of convention they might be? A convention of corners, or perhaps squares. Maybe, for some reason I can't quite explain, it'd be like that convention addressed by Alan Partridge where he gave everyone a complementary Daily Express.

Although Singh admits there were low points when he thought he was going mad and even his wife stopped listening to Cornershop, he isn't as bitter as a lemon about the band's time in the wilderness.

He's not as bitter as a lemon, but the new record is certainly a tonic. With a twist. A twist of an unbitter lemon... and... can I go home now?

It's what he would have wanted

An ordinary Sunday in Paris? Or a flashmob mourning Michael Jackson in his own style - i.e. by making a holy show of themselves in public as horrified and confused onlookers stare:

If they'd waited a little longer, they could have pretended it was for Merce Cunningham.

Darkness at 3AM: Shiny things

They really did this:

Simon Cowell's clearly a big fan of the Daily Mirror. Why else would he send out invites to his 50th birthday bash in October - in mirrored envelopes? We can't think any of his beautiful guests need to check themselves out ...

Yes. His invites were inspired by the Daily Mirror. Because the outside was as eye-catching as possible, but the contents proved to be nothing more than a disappointing attempt to persuade people to spend some time marking the passing of time in unpleasant company.

Gordon in the morning: Bunch of DiCaprio

Leonardo DiCaprio is apparently still in London. Or, as Gordon would have it:

THE Titanic pulling efforts of LEONARDO DiCAPRIO are giving my Bizarre Shagger Of The Year competition an unexpected Hollywood twist.

Leo The Lady Slayer has been going through a seriously impressive purple patch with the opposite sex during his time in London.

What is Leo The Lady Slayer meant to mean? Is Leo meant to sound like Buffy? Is The Lady Slayer a pun on DiCaprio? What does it mean?

Apparently Leo's purple patch - let's not - is because he went for a drink with Ashley Roberts out of Pussycat Dolls. Or:

Leo has worked his magic with ASHLEY ROBERTS from the naughtiest girl group in pop.
[...]
After a few pleasantries Leo invited her to join him at West End club Whisky Mist - and just hours later he had the Pussycat purring along with his wisecracks.

If you take a few hours before someone will laugh at your jokes, you're having an uphill struggle - and not like that - surely? Come to that, though, how do you "purr along with a wisecrack" in the first place?

Monday, July 27, 2009

Let's not start a fight, Arctic Monkeys

The Arctic Monkeys aren't impressed at The Ting Tings winning an Ivor:

Arctic Monkeys drummer Matt Helders has started a potential war of words with The Ting Tings.

He declared: "The Ivor Novello Awards used to feel like the most meaningful ones but I think they’ve been cheapened.

“I don’t want to be horrible to The Ting Tings but they won it and it’s supposed to be for songwriting. There’s a lot better songwriting ability out there.”

The ability to write a great song isn't always measured in how many puns you can cram in to the tune; being able to lodge in the brain must count for something. Otherwise Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine would have had the Novellos named after them.

And you will know us by the hail on head...

The Jelly NYC Pool Party came to a sudden halt yesterday when heavy storms swept in. Trail Of Dead fled the stage, although given it was a pool party it's hard to see why some more rain would constitute a serious problem.

Oh. The lightning. Yes, that might be risky.

Something to listen to: Wild Beasts

Streaming over on NME.com right now: Two Dancers by Wild Beasts. Highly recommended.

QTrax: another launch to come, then

It's possible to start feeling a little sympathy for QTrax, the perpetually launching-then-delayed online music service. The company's head, Allan Klepfisz, has posted a monster blog entry promising that the sun will come out, tomorrow:

So why is Qtrax unique & uniquely powerful? Because of its licensing contracts, certainly. But also, because of its business model. Refined over the 7 years we spent in the wilderness. Working on the licenses and thinking. And thinking. And thinking some more. Let me make a few reflections in this regard although I must ask you to forgive me if we don’t reveal every aspect of our “secret sauce(s)”.

He just sticks out his chin, and grins...

[Y]ou need to make the site attractive to advertisers. Obvious, you might say. Well, not obvious enough to be a priority to so many sites including most that offer music. They are sinfully unattractive. Especially to advertisers. And user-generated content doesn’t help either. It often makes advertisers nervous. And most of the big sites to date, are based on user generated content. Which gives us a massive opportunity. Because advertisers need to come online to find our demographic. But they want to do it in a predictable environment.

...tomorrow, tomorrow, he loves you, tomorrow...

Fourth, you need to be mindful of your costs. Something that streaming services are discovering. And they account for all of our free music legal competitors. And you need to find a way to make your licensing costs bearable. Something we’ve worked very hard at.

(Not streaming anything would, inarguably, keep your costs well under control)
... tomorrow, tomorrow, you're always...

We are nothing if not dogged. And stubborn. And determined. And God willing, our reward & that of our large number of stakeholders, is that we are very soon going to launch a powerfully attractive music service, with leading internet & media companies as marketing partners. That have existing substantial users. And we’ll progressively roll it out throughout the world.

You're always a day away.

We don't have to pay our loans off

Here's an interesting spin on memorabilia auctions - you buy a framed geegaw, and get a slice of publishing royalties, too:

SongVest, the company that reinvented the music memorabilia business by offering the ultimate fan collectible -- the songs themselves -- has announced their next major online auction will take place August 15-22 at songvest.com and will include Billboard Top 40 hits "We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off" performed by Jermaine Stewart, "Miss You Like Crazy" performed by Natalie Cole, and the international hit "Clothes Off!!" performed by Gym Class Heroes.

You're getting to bid for 25% of writer Preston Glass's royalties on the songs, so it's probably more akin to buying one of those handsome Russian railway share certificates than, say, investing in a company that makes green energy.

It's going to be stuck in your head now anyway, so you might as well:

Coldplay: They'll be all yellow

Given that The Simpsons has already featured cameos from Bono and Tony Blair, the standard for getting onto the series has been clearly shifted towards "being well-known", so it was probably only a matter of time before Coldplay turned up.

Yes, more than ever confirming that "a cameo in The Simpsons" has become so prevalent that it's known as "following in the footsteps of Ed Begley Jr", Chris Martin and... uh, the others - is one of them called Tomsk? - will be drawn with overbites:

Chris Martin will play himself in the episode in which Coldplay perform a private show for Bart and Homer, after Homer wins a million dollars in the lottery.

Long-running sitcom featuring blue collar family winning big on the lottery resulting in a meeting with bizarrely popular English entertainers? What could possibly go wrong, eh?

Bhangraobit: Mani Singh Sangra

Sorry to hear of the death of Mani Singh Sangra of Sangra Vibes.

The Leicester-based production team of brothers Mani and Gopi first broke through with the 2005 album Unleashed, and landed some production work on Manak-E's Paisa album. More recently, they'd teamed up with Manak-E again to help out with Aaja, and were working on a new record at the time of Mani's death.

Gopi has issued a statement:

"My brother sadly passed away on July 25th. He was in the hospital for 3 weeks he was suffering from a disease named Encephalitis which he was being treated for, but sadly yesterday we had the very bad news that he passed away due to very low blood pressure which his heart couldn't cope with it. Thank you to everyone for their kind messages and wishes in this sad time."

Mani Singh Sangra died from encephalitis; he was just 21 years old.

Bookmarks: Some stuff to read on the internet - (brackets)

Does that make sense gives the deepest consideration of the bracket in popular song title since Jimmy Saville hung up his hologram:

Reason 3: It's a new version, honest!
This allows for remixes and second releases and so on to be duly credited as such, either with the basic word - (Remix), (Medley) (Re-Issue) - or something far more pretentious, such as I Believe (A Soulful Re-Recording), which was released with typical pomposity by Tears For Fears, even though the song bore no difference to the unbracketed version on the album.

Spotify opportunity: iTunes app

This, then, might finally drive some business to Spotify's premium sign-up page: The much-rumoured Spotify iPhone app. Premium users only need apply.

Apple: The cocktail nobody wants

The drop off of interest in albums - and in particular, being forced to buy filler tracks because albums used to come in a specific size, and that's the way it should be, dammit - has worried the RIAA labels. And, naturally, rather than try and adapt to the way technology has changed their business, the response is to try and find ways to pretend its still 1972.

Apple, bless them, are helping, conspiring on a project with the supersecret name Cocktail. What's cocktail? The FT explains:

Apple is working with the four largest record labels to stimulate digital sales of albums by bundling a new interactive booklet, sleeve notes and other interactive features with music downloads, in a move it hopes will change buying trends on its online iTunes store.

Ah yes. Sleeve notes. That'll make it worth paying for 12 tracks when you really only want the decent song.

It doesn't seem to have occurred to the labels that if they want to sell songs in batches of a dozen, or a half-dozen, the easiest thing to do would be to make all those songs worth having. No, no: Let's give people a little essay about the songs they don't want. That'll reel 'em in.

Apple, clearly, don't view this as lobbing a bunch of old rubbish into the deal in the hope of flogging a few extra units:

“It’s not just a bunch of PDFs,” said one executive. “There’s real engagement with the ancillary stuff.”

Oh, yes. I can't get enough of that, erm, ancillary stuff.

It doesn't make track seven any better if you're able to listen to it while reading that the middle vocalist thanks God for his help on it.

Apple wants to make bigger purchases more compelling by creating a new type of interactive album material, including photos, lyric sheets and liner notes that allow users to click through to items that they find most interesting. Consumers would be able to play songs directly from the interactive book without clicking back into Apple’s iTunes software, executives said.

So... instead of simply buying the tracks you want, you spend more, get some sort of proprietorial locked-up thing which you can work your way through to find a way to hear the tracks you want. I really hope we can also queue up to buy these at the Apple Store, perhaps in the rain, as it doesn't sound inconvenient enough already.

Maybe this is why the project is called Cocktail, presumably after the Tom Cruise movie which also made anyone near it want to smash things until the pain went away.

She hit me, and it felt like a writ

It wasn't, you'd have to say, the greatest courtroom victory when the judge in the Amy Winehouse assault case said he couldn't be sure if Winehouse had meant to hit the dancer and set her free. It was the first time "aw, bless, she's so far gone she doesn't know what she's doing" has ever been a verdict in a British trial.

Meanwhile, what of the hit-ee? She's worried:

Rex Features

A woman who claims that she was punched by Amy Winehouse has admitted that she fears for her career and reputation after the star was cleared of the charge.

Winehouse was yesterday found not guilty of assaulting burlesque dancer Sherene Flash following a trial at the City Of Westminster Magistrates' Court.

A burlesque dancer called Sherene Flash? Presumably Peekaboo Nopants was already taken.

Flash is worried that she'll now have a reputation as a troublemaker which might stop her being invited to take part in music industry jobs. Although that's never been a problem for Amy Winehouse, has it?

Jackson's finances

As various lawyers and accountants sort through the details, a clearer picture of Michael Jackson's financial hole is starting to emerge:

Michael Jackson provided full financial support to his mother when he was alive and his estate should continue to do so after his death, the temporary administrators of the pop star's affairs plan to argue at a hearing next week.

In court papers filed Thursday, the administrators asked for approval to pay a monthly allowance to Katherine Jackson, 79. The specific amount requested is under seal.

"The special administrators are informed and believe that Mrs. Jackson has no other sources of income currently available other than Social Security income," lawyers for administrators John Branca and John McClain wrote in the filing.

Obviously, you wouldn't expect Tito to have any cash to spare to help out his mum, but you'd think Janet might be able to chip in with a few quid, wouldn't you?

Although Jackson owed creditors at least $400 million at the time of his death, his assets outweighed his debts by more than $200 million and the value of his estate has grown daily with the posthumous popularity of his music.

It does make it easier when you can liquidate the estate, doesn't it? Jackson is turning out be be worth more dead than he was alive, and by quite a distance. Although after the administrators have had their slice of fees, it's not clear by how far that actual positive will stretch.

Here's some extra cash for the pot, though:

Additionally, the estate received $5.5 million last week from Tohme R. Tohme, a businessman who advised Jackson in the final years of his life.

In an interview Saturday, Tohme said he informed Branca shortly after Jackson's June 25 death that he was holding the funds.

He said the money came from record royalties and was going to be used for sprucing up a "dream house" for Jackson in Las Vegas.

There is nothing, in any way, odd about millions and millions of dollars being "looked after" by a vaguely-titled "businessman".

Jackson told him not to tell anyone about the money, he said.

"He said it was something private between him and me, and I honored those wishes," he said.

He honoured the secrecy right up until, ooh, he started to talk about the money. But it was secret, right? That's why it'll look like nobody knew that he had five million of Jackson's money, right? Because it was a secret. That will be why. And it was - can we just stress - resting in his account.

Tohme R Tohme is a great name, though. I bet his parents were Chuckle Brothers fans.

Gordon in the morning: Under the influence

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Leona Lewis is feeling kinda antsy about having to carry a massive global tour on her shoulders. This may or may not have led to Paul McKenna being called in:

The Bleeding Love star has turned to the mind expert to overcome crippling confidence issues.

Leona is undergoing a series of therapy sessions ahead of global gigs to ensure her nerves are kept at bay.

Gordon helpfully illustrates what this might look like with this photo:

Now, this might look to you as if someone has grabbed a photo from her performing some song or other. But, to Gordon:

THIS is the kind of zoned out expression LEONA LEWIS could have once she's told to "sleep" by world famous hypnotist PAUL McKENNA.

Apparently, if McKenna can't help, there are plans to bring in the evil hypnotist from Big Train:

Elsewhere, I've looked at this headline from all angles:

It’s Friel nice out

- and I'm not sure what the pun is meant to be. I know the point is that you can see the right hand side of Anna Friel's left hand breast and they might as well just run with "tits! tits!", but... Friel nice out? Free-all? Real? It can't be real, can it?

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Mariah Care-y

It's hard to tell if this is a joke at her expense, or, just possibly, being done with a straight face:

Mariah Carey’s new single, Obsessed, has just fallen from number 11 to number 20 in only its second week. This looks to be the biggest flop for Mariah since “Loverboy,” which we lambs made a hit by gathering together and buying several copies. We can do the same for “Obsessed.”

I am asking you to make a donation to [address redacted]. I will spend my time buying several copies of the single. I have already collected $80 from one fan. If you don’t feel comfortable with that, we are setting Saturday as “Obsessed” download day. Please download at least five copies! By the remixes! Mariah needs our help!

Fans effectively paying for their hero's marketing campaign? Oh, please don't put ideas in the RIAA's head; NPR funded by telethons is one thing, but Mariah Carey? That might be stretching charity.

Spector gets a letter

If we're to believe any of it, Charles Manson has been sending Phil Spector letters suggesting that - since they're both being held in the same prison, they should make some music together:

Spector's wife Rachelle Spector told a US newspaper: 'A guard brought Philip a note from Manson, who said he wanted him to come over to his [lockup]. He said he considers Philip the greatest producer who ever lived. 'It was creepy. Philip didn't respond.'

Creepy? God, I'll say. 'One of the best producers' maybe, but to claim he's the greatest whoever lived? That's some serious creeping.

I'm tempted to see if we can get Pete Waterman thrown into the same jail on some trumped up charge to test if Manson approaches him, too. For something other than "do you have Mike Stock's phone number?"

Bookmarks: Some stuff to read on the internet: John Foxx & Gary Numan

It's a pity it doesn't end with Gary Numan saying to John Foxx "me, I disconnect from you", but other than there's much glorious about Thatcherite flying ace Numan talking to Foxx from the 'vox John Foxx in a Drowned In Sound brokered Electronic Pioneer meet-up:

GN: Why did you record Systems Of Romance in Germany?

JF: England was all Alf Garnett punk. It had gone from squalling brat to grumpy old man with nothing in between. The scene in Europe was much more rich and interesting. Held far more potential. No one in Britain at that time was making anything resembling the sort of sound I wanted, so Germany was really the only choice.

Twittergem: Camera Obscura

From @camera_obscura_:

Have smuggled a cornetto into the Ben & Jerry's festival. Don't tell anyone. K

News of the World has decided that's enough mourning

The strain of trying to temper Jackson coverage to keep it respectful following his death has taken its toll on the News Of The World over past weeks. It's given up altogether now, splashing Jackson's nose all over today:

THIS shocking picture backs claims that Michael Jackson's nose FELL OFF after being ravaged by plastic surgery.

The picture - taken only weeks before the star died - shows him wearing his trademark shades and mask.

His facial contours are strangely flat and there is only a shadow where the tip of his nose should have been.

It's the News of the World, so it doesn't care that the picture doesn't show any such thing, and that there are plenty of other pictures which show the opposite, and if he had a false nose that worked well for that high-defintion final rehearsal, why would he go out with a mask rather than the nose in the shown photo, and... oh, maybe we should just let them get their stories from stealing people's private data. It might be less embarrassing to watch.