Following on from Defenestration last week, this week The Archers have been paying homage to Cerys, although whether Hayley - in real-life Jasper Carrott's daughter - could really be mistaken for her is a moot point...

IT GETS WORSE: As if attempting to keep a quarter of a million people away from Newcastle, pretending that it was going to be The Love Weekend all along, and trying to stop the message boards from filling over with angry messages, for Radio One things go from bad to worse, as the network got knocked off the air this afternoon. Maye Andy Parfitt was attempting to keep it at home.

YOU CAN JUDGE A CD BY THE COMPANY IT KEEPS: A brief survey of things that Amazon purchasers of albums also buy.

Coldplay - Parachutes purchasers also bought:

* The Invisible Band: Audio CD ~ Travis
* All That You Can't Leave Behind: Audio CD ~ U2
* Just Enough Education to Perform: Audio CD ~ Stereophonics

* Captain Corelli's Mandolin: Paperback ~ Louis de Bernieres
* McCarthy's Bar: Paperback ~ Pete McCarthy
* Comic Relief: Quidditch Through the Ages: Paperback ~ J.K. Rowling, Kennilworthy Whisp

Well, not many surprises there, really - Coldplay fans also like Travis, Stereophonics and U2. No Oasis, though? Maybe an oversight. The books perhaps less obvious, although "obvious" in the broader sense. Except for Pete McCarthy's book. Thats gotta be rogue result, hasn't it?

Kellis - Kaleidescope


* Your Woman: Audio CD ~ Sunshine Anderson
* Can't Take Me Home: Audio CD ~ Pink
* Who is Jill Scott?: Audio CD ~ Jill Scott

* McCarthy's Bar: Paperback ~ Pete McCarthy
* White Teeth: Paperback ~ Zadie Smith
* Turning Thirty: Paperback ~ Mike Gayle

McCARTHY'S Bar again? Either there's one person doing all their shopping on Amazon, or else Pete is going to be sitting prettier than at any time since the axing of As It Happens. The CDs? Perhaps less easy to guess in advance, but no more surprising for that.

The Best of Max Bygraves

* The Best of Jimmy Young: Audio CD ~ Jimmy Young
* The Best of Anne Shelton: Audio CD ~ Anne Shelton
* The Essential Frank Ifield Collection: Audio CD ~ Frank Ifield

IS IT because their eyes are giving out, or they've seen it all before? For whatever reason, Max Bygraves fans appear to not bother themselves with that reading business. Who knew that Jimmy Young records were still selling?

MORE LOVE LOST:This from the Radio 1 website, a statement from Mr. P:
"Statement from Andy Parfitt, Controller Radio 1, Mon 16 July, noon: Suggestions of an alternative "unofficial" Love Parade would not be a good idea at all. It could prejudice the future of Love Parade in the UK forever. I understand how disappointed people are but to clog up the centre of Newcastle next weekend would be counter productive, if anything went wrong clubbers would be blamed, and the reputation of Dance and Dance fans, who made last year's event such a success, would be damaged. In those circumstances it would be hard for any local authority to look favourably on Love Parade in years to come. Radio 1's advice is, if you don't have a ticket for an indoor event, to stay at home and listen. I've asked moderators at our website not to put up messages that are just encouraging people to travel to Newcastle. "
So, pick the bones out of that one. Firstly, its okay to clog up the centre of Newcastle, providing its for Radio One's benefit, but not if its just people having fun? And remember, kids, its simply the image of dance fans he's worried about, not that if (and, as it looks increasingly likely, when) something nasty kicks off, that it'll look godawful for his station.
More disturbingly, of course, there's the whole "Stay in your homes" tone of his message - look, pal, you're the one who made the bad judgement call of trying to push this whole thing through - its been clear for months that the council were cool, at best, on the whole idea; and with the recent riots in the north it was obvious they'd be less keen than ever. Nevertheless, Radio One has been banging on about "come to Newcastle, it'll be great" for the past month, without any certainty there'd be anything for people to come to. Its a bit late to now start to supress people's "lets go anyway" messages, don't you think?

LOVE PARADE DE-RAILED: Hopefully the cancellation of the Love Parade may make Radio One think twice before cooking up any more of these half-baked mega events. The one saving grace of Newcastle pulling the glorified fete-with-disco would have been that the station would have stopped banging on about the event every three or four minutes (the final straw was the way they'd play the jingle over any dance track towards the end of last week), except, of course, now the "new arrangements" are being trumpted every opportunity - or rather, the desperate attempts to scrape egg from face. Interesting to hear Andy Parfitt on Today this morning, trying to spin the event inro a PR success, while simultaneously not pissing off the city council. The official Radio One controller's line came out, then as "There's still going to be lots happening, there's plenty of tickets still available, only don't come."
Of course, the days of the Roadshow are over, but maybe the expensive and embarrassing collapse of the Love Parade may refocus the station's efforts on providing entertainment for smaller crowds at places that tend to get missed off by the commercial events. The Roadshow at Eastbourne was the only thing that happened for non-pensionners in Eastbourne, ever, and as such the gift of Steve Wright to 80s teenagers was special. Love Parade smacks of an attempt to take on Creamfields and Homelands, and as such tastes bitter. Why not do a season of Saturday night specials in smaller towns throughout the summer? Probably spend the same budget, and wouldn't Fatboy Slim in Carlisle and Jon Carter in Worthing mean more to the audience, and be better payback for those towns' licence fee payers than a big, showy event in one location for one night?

NOW WE'RE SQUEAKY CLEAN... ISH: NeedToKnow has helpfully transcribed the two versions of D12's purple hills/pills, showing that apparently the broadcasters are being left to pick ther "fucks" out for themselves. Full version here