After nearly 50 years, Cliff finishes his review of The Beatles

Cliff Richard - and we can only assume this has been eating away at him since the middle of the last century - isn't impressed by The Beatles Please Please Me:

"Some of the guitar is so out of tune it's unbelievable. I couldn't believe that here they were in this hi-tech age and they couldn't go back and do it with a tuned guitar."

Since Cliff made his observations, the public have realised they've had it wrong all these years and are demanding refunds. Branches of Rumblelows are to reopen specially to provide people with refunds.

Robbie Williams is not done paying yet

The libelous Rudebox track continues to fill Nigel Martin-Smith's pockets, as he accepts payments from Chrysalis after they distributed Williams' work. Although the High Court had stepped in before the album was made available to the public, the original version had been distributed to journalists; although the label tried to recall them, they didn't do so quickly enough:

Matthew Nicklin, for Chrysalis, said that it "wishes to make it clear that it did not intend the lyrics of The 90s to be taken at face value or as a serious statement of the views that Chrysalis holds of Mr Martin Smith."

"Chrysalis did not intend to allege that Mr Martin Smith has ever stolen funds from Take That, or from anyone," he said.

You do wonder if EMI had anyone from their legal department listen to the track before pressing up the records. Or even if EMI has a legal department these days.

Filling iPods for scientitific purposes

A well-meaning and welcome move by the Italian parliament to non-commerical sharing of 'degraded' music files has effectively created a massive loophole in Italian law - because all mp3 files are 'degraded' in a legal sense.

Of course, having had their error pointed out to them, Italy's lawmakers could simply pass a new law to tighten up the wording of the old - but they might be too busy right now.

Sadi Thom takes it on board

Apparently, the criticism of her last album has shaped Sandi Thom's new one:

"I've learned to take criticism better and grown a thicker skin," Thom told the Daily Record. "Some of the songs were inspired by criticism from the media."

She can't have taken too much on board, though, otherwise she wouldn't have made a second album, would she?

Thom suggests the whole stunt which launched her was a bit of a mistake:

"The webcasts were a great thing to happen but they overshadowed the music. It was unfortunate. I want this album to wipe the slate clean. Just listen to the songs. There's nothing contrived, it's just about the music."

So, that would seem to admit the whole of the first album - from the 'unsigned basement sessions' onwards - was contrived.

The kids are alright, and fairly legal

So, the music industry claims it needs more and more powers to slap down illegal filesharing, citing large numbers of illegal files sweeping off servers round the clock.

We've always raised a curious eyebrow at the extent of illegal activity the RIAA claims; our eyebrows are now rising so high that we're going to have to get a mirror on a stick to pluck them in future with the release of a survey which reveals that 70% of Americans aged between nine and 14 download, and the most common source of music for that sector is iTunes. 49% of them turn to Apple - despite not having credit cards, which makes it difficult for them; despite having grown up with illegal free music on offer, a circumstance which the RIAA insisted would make their generation never value music and not expect to pay for it.

A quarter, admittedly, did say they used peer-to-peer, but that's a suprisingly small figure - and much, much below the picture painted by the RIAA. Encouraging news, you would have thought.

Hannah Montana: Our line of defence against Bono

In what was possibly conceived as a gesture towards the one he loves most, Bono had been hoping to dominate 3D cinemas on Valentine's Day. Plans had been laid to push the 3D U2 movie into as many theatres as possible for February 14th.

Trouble is, it's been scuppered: Hannah Montana needs the screens and, in what might prove something of a blow to Mr Vox's ego, he might be able to demand an audience with Henry Kissinger, but when it comes to the multiplexes, it's Miley Cyrus who has the weight.

Rhapsody fades

One of the many touted iTunes killers, RealNetwork's Rhapsody service has been finding the battle against Apple something of a struggle; it's merging with MTV's Urge and, as a result, is laying off staff. Rhapsody America, the service which will emerge from the merger, doesn't look likely to have any more impact than the two from which it is hewn.

Jay-Z for the Pyramid stage

Now, we're all for the idea of Jay-Z turning up at the Glastonbury Festival - it's all confirmed now; BBC Radio Somerset got the scoop. But we're not sure that Michael Eavis has really thought this through:

"He will appeal to the young people and under-25s for sure, so that's a big pull for them.

"It's not like the traditional one we do, like Radiohead, Coldplay and Muse and Oasis."

Is Jay-Z really more attractive to the teenage market than Radiohead are? Especially amongst the sort of people who'd go to Glastonbury? Isn't this an older, middle-class, white bloke's idea of 'the sort of thing the kids like'?

And, with tickets costing more than ever, requiring a credit card and ID checks, is having a rapping singer on the bill really going to do that much to bring younger people back to the festival?

Sony: Keep the music you've paid for. For a bit.

The imminent closure of the Sony Connect Music store might be causing some worry to the people who'd thrown their hard-earned cash at the DRMed product. But not worry - Sony has put together an FAQ to help their loyal customers adjust to the new world.

For example, you might be wondering:

What will happen to my library (content I own)?

'Own' as in 'have paid for', of course.

Sony is generous - why, just because they're going out of business, you won't lose the music you've bought...

You will continue to be able to play, manage, and transfer the music in your SonicStage® library and on your ATRAC player. For music purchased via CONNECT, this means you may continue to enjoy it as usual...

Splendid!

...in your current PC configuration in accordance with our terms of use.

Aha! So, having been honest, and paid out for the tracks in accordance with the wishes of the music industry, you get to keep your songs for as long as you can hold off upgrading your computer.

The suspicion is that you might have been better off keeping your money in your pocket, and having access to the tracks forever. Why would you buy a DRMed track in future, if even a bloody record label can't guarantee you'll be able to play them in the future?

[Thanks to Karl T for the link]

Darkness at 3AM: What have they got against Bedingfield?

Have the new 3AM Girls got some sort of score to settle with Natasha Bedingfield? Yesterday they ran a piece snorting at her "ten fans" and then suggesting that she'd let down a UK fanbase that they claimed didn't exist. Today, Bedingfield's people have tried to make ammends:

The singer's people have been on to us saying she's as "disappointed as her fans" and that she "really wants to come home ASAP and make it up to them".

Mmmmm...

We're told: " She'll release a single with Sean Kingston this spring and do some free gigs in the UK before the end of summer to try and give something back to the fans."

And the 3AMies response?

Try harder.

What? Free gigs, a tour as soon as possible, a new single? What do the 3AMies want, exactly? Some sort of ritual act of contrition? Self-evisceration on national television, perhaps?