Morrissey treats the French

Last night, Morrissey went to Strasbourg, and delighted the French with some new songs - one, with the Nick Cave-esque title Mama Lay Softly On The Riverbed, has appeared in a snatch on the YouTube.

Martin, camera have bitchfight

It's only a few days since Gwyneth Paltrow revealed her love of gossip magazines and the gossip they shared. It always seemed like a hostage to fortune, and - having spent some time in hospital - it seems the Martin family's amused tolerance of the lower-shelf producers has run out.

Indeed, Chris has indulged in a spot of decidedly non-pacifist photographer bashing:

The photographer claims that Martin attempted to steal his camera, but was forced to give it back after being wrestled to the ground.

It's a bit rubbish to attack the photographers you court at other times anyway; but if you're going to do it, at least make sure you can beat the sods. There's nothing more humiliating than not only not stealing one person's photos, but then being photographed being beaten up by the paparazzo.

Debbie Gibson leads the new Electric Youth

Emboldened by her position as Cowell-like judge on an online talent show, Debbie - now Deborah, if you please - Gibson has established a camp for young people. The Electric Youth camp, of course.

Gibson believes her career means she's, like, Hannah Montana 1.0:

"I was like the Miley Cyrus of my generation and I have a lot of experience and knowledge to offer today's aspiring performers," says Deborah Gibson. "Working with young talent and helping cultivate their skills is extremely rewarding."

We're not entirely sure we'd choose Debbie - sorry, Deborah - Gibson - to guide our kid's career, as she drove into the ground quite quickly and wound up doing, well, this sort of thing:


Of course, when the Debbie Gibson pictures appeared in Playboy, they weren't quite so coy about her being nude.

Hot Chip: Cheap as chips

In a give-us-your-details-get-an-mp3 trade off, EMI are offering a free Hot Chip track for download.

Onesidezero, Adema, Re:Ignition eurotour pulled

The European tour featuring Onesidezero, Adema, Re:Ignition has been put on hold, according to a Onesidezero statement:

"Things like this happen and it sucks! Of course we're all bummed out, but Tiefdruck Musik, our German label, our manager, and Onesidezero have worked really hard to make this happen," commented drummer Rob Basile. "We're not looking at this as a complete cancellation, but an opportunity for all bands to regroup and reconvene at a later date. We're still hyped to get there!"

"While Adema, Onesidezero, and Re:Ignition will not be fulfilling the February and March '08 dates scheduled in Europe, we have intentions to revisit these tour plans sometime in the near future," added Onesidezero manager Shawna Morey. "Tiefdruck-Musik, Onesidezero's European label, has been very supportive of all artists involved, and we're looking forward to a long lasting relationship and all overseas touring opportunities to come."

'Head out on tour

Portishead have posted a new slew of European tour dates; sales start on Wednesday on the Portishead website before going on general release a couple of days later:

Wednesday 26 March Oporto Coliseum
Thursday 27 Lisbon Coliseum
Sunday 30 Milan Alcatraz
Monday 31 Florence Sashall
Wednesday 9 April Manchester Apollo
Thursday 10 London Hammersmith Apollo
Saturday 11 Edinburgh Corn Exchange
Sunday 13 Wolverhampton Civic
Monday 5 May Paris Zenith

Present, Albini hook up again

Although there was some Albini work on Cinerama record, there's something especially exciting about the news that the next Wedding Present record is going to be produced by Steve Albini.

The last Albini-produced Weddoes album was Seamonsters, back in - no, really, 1991. No word yet on a release date, but we'll squeal like giddy kittens when we find out.

Gordon in the morning: Oh, alright, afternoon, then

Gordon's byline doesn't appear on the coverage of Blake Fielder Civil's day in court yesterday, but he's clearly cast his eyes over the report:

She then flew into full Peggy Mitchell mode and screamed: “I love you handsome, gorgeous one.”

Blake mouthed back: “Alright baby?”

Flaming Nora. This pair make the BBC soap look like bleeding Shakespeare.

Isn't 'flaming Nora' more Corrie than EastEnders? And "bleeding Shakespeare"? Really?

In fact: what does that even mean? That the real-life events in court yesterday were more poorly scripted than a soap opera?

Also today, there's another picture of Nicola Roberts. You'll recall Gordon calling her a dog earlier in the week:

Earlier this week I showed you a shot of Nicola with no make-up on as she took delivery of a wardrobe at her home. But scrubbed up here, she looks a totally different woman.

Goodness. Apparently people look more presentable when turning up at a launch of their make-up range than they do when they get out of bed to answer the front door. Who'd have thought it, eh?

Gordon also offers a picture of Kate Lawler, Michelle Heaton and someone else in their pants. The idea, apparently, is to try and sell pants, but Gordon apparently finds it near-fatal:

They shouldn’t find it hard to get a date on February 14 – as they’re already giving fellas everywhere a heart attack.

Goodness. That's terrible. Heart attacks, you say?

Embed and breakfast man: The Pooh Sticks weekend

Yes, it's a weekend with the Pooh Sticks. First, here's The World Is Turning On:



The rest of the videos will... no, they won't. That's it, unfortunately.

So, how to get to Hue Pooh Stick?

You can still get the records:

Formula One Generation



Million Seller

There's also a fansite, hosted on Tripod (so set your pop-ups to zero).

Johnny Borrell: The Kemp Brothers of our age

How interesting to hear that Johnny Borrell of Not Just Johnny Borrell There's Razorlights As Well is heading off to sequestrate himself writing the new album. Presumably the rest of the equally-important band members will join in by speakerphone, then?

En route, Borrell found the time to turn out for Oban's local football team. It surely can only be a matter of time before Melchester Rovers puts in a call?

Geldof inspects Kent; Kent is found wanting

Seemingly having decided that Africa is a bit big for one man to sort out, Bob Geldof has instead picked Kent to save. He's been writing lett