Gordon in the morning: What a charmer

Gordon handles the big story on Bizarre this morning himself. Indeed, to make it clear who's in charge, the byline is:

By GORDON SMART
Bizarre Editor

Just in case you forget who's nominally in charge.

He's leading with the news that Eddie Murphy's not bothering to sort out the legal problems in his new marriage; a story covered in slightly more depth on E! Online who have all the details Gordon has, but also run the official statement:

“After much consideration and discussion, we have jointly decided that we will forego having a legal ceremony as it is not necessary to define our relationship further.

"While the recent symbolic union in Bora Bora was representative of our deep love, friendship and respect that we have for one another on a spiritual level, we have decided to remain friends.”

Still, it's not like that's all Gordon has this morning. He's been given a photo of Nicola Roberts accepting a delivery "first thing in the morning" as he acknowledges.

What do people look like first thing in the morning? Generally, if you tumble out of bed, not your best. Gordon, though, seems outraged that anyone dare open their door without being glammed up first:

Tried the hair of the dog, Nic?

Yes, a journalist on a major newspaper is calling a woman who fails to please him "a dog". Let's hope his bosses Rebekah and Victoria never dare to show up at the office without a brush through her hair.