Remember the heady days in the past when we could barely get through a week without Akon dry-humping children on stage, or throwing children off stage, or upsetting Sri Lanka.
He's been quiet for a while, though.
Okay, we've been ignoring him for a while.
In fact - along with most of the world - we'd missed him attempting to launch a social networking site. It was going to be called Fantrace, and it was going to allow "fans" to interact with "celebrities".
Oddly, perhaps because that's what all social networks (apart from BliberdergFacebook) already do, it never took off.
I'm not sure how much credence I'm giving the story that Brits organisers have been rejigging rehearsal schedules to prevent a backstage meeting of Harry Styles and Taylor Swift, who are both performing at next week's awards.
I can't quite believe that Styles and Swift are both performing there, come to that, but let's let that one pass.
Gordon has a "source":
A source said: “It was a bit of an oversight to say the least. The original plans were drawn up a while back when Harry and Taylor bumping into each other wouldn’t have been an issue.
“But they’ve had to have a bit of a rethink now. Mumford & Sons were meant to be rehearsing on the Monday with ROBBIE WILLIAMS, EMELI SANDE and BEN HOWARD — but they were happy to switch.
“It could have caused a bit of a headache if the Mumfords kicked off — but fortunately they played ball.”
Thank god that Marcus Mumford split with Swift on good terms, eh?
The problem with this story is that, if we're too believe that Styles and Swift rubbing against each other could set off a disaster which Tom Cruise himself would struggle to survive, then wouldn't it be better for that to happen during rehearsals rather than, you know, the night itself? That night they're both going to have to be there anyway, right?
Unless this is all a barked-up story to try and raise interest in one of the least enticing Brit awards show in years. But... that would never, ever happen, right?
There are still 23,049 copies distributed (Second half of 2012). So that's good.
It's down, but only 3.66% on the sales in the first half of 2012. Which isn't a disaster.
The bad news, though, is compared with the second half of 2011, sales are down a further 16.64%.
So you could see, looking at the last six months, a title whose precipitous drop has eased. Or, across the year as a whole, a magazine whose audience is still vanishing in large numbers.
The next set of figures, in the summer, will be fascinating.
It's got Killers bassist Mark Stoermer, Muse drummer Dominic Howard, ex-Jamiroquai bassist Nick Fyffe and ex-Mars Volta drummer Dave Elitch and New York Dolls singer David Johanssen involved, which makes it supergroupy.
But it's mostly about Louis XIV's Jason Hill, which makes it feel more like a side-project where the session guys are more storied than the heart.
Apparently there's a record due out in a matter of days. In the meantime... there's this:
Rick Huxley, bassist with the Dave Clark Five, has died.
After the band had split in 1970, Huxley took a job with the Vox amplifier business, before moving into more general retailing. He still played, even having a spell helping out the Barron Knights, and with the bands Cascade and Ridge.
Rick Huxley had emphysema; he died February 11th at the age of 72.
It's discovering they've been reunited for seven years already. That's over three times the length of their original lifespan.
So, album number four is about to head our way. Leon & Chris tell Louder Than War what it's like:
Leon: it sounds, yeah, ‘heavy feel ‘ that would describe two thirds of it, pretty raw, all of us playing in a room, then there’s a few that we got the acoustics out on for a bit of light and shade
Chris: It feels like a a strong album to us, all killer, no filler, we had 40 songs to go at. So plenty of choice, our producer Chris Hamilton has brought a really fresh sound to it all
I know, for a fact, Lennon and McCartney described the White Album in almost exactly the same terms.
"There is a sea of music, an ocean of music and absolutely no curation for it. You friends can't curate for you. No one knows what song comes next," Iovine said. "Apple knows a lot about your music taste. Google knows a lot, and Facebook. But no one is using it to curate."
Actually, don't playlists on Spotify do nothing but have your friends curate music for you - if we're going to use that slightly clunky phrase?
And if you really need some songs, chosen from an endless repository, placed in an order that has been chosen by a music expert... isn't that what, say, Gideon Coe or Rob Da Bank does pretty well already?
If Iovine's idea seems to be defining a problem that doesn't actually exist, then his solution appears to be a plan that hasn't quite been thought out:
"Most tech companies never get curation right. It's not in their culture. We will be miles ahead of them," he said. "If you are going to the gym five days a week, we know that, and when you wake up we will have a list for you." The curation won't be math-free, Iovine said, but it will rely more on the human touch, marrying math and emotion. Beats users will be able to contribute to the music curation, but it wasn't clear as to how it will work with the trusted expert playlists.
So if I'm understanding this correctly, "your friends" are shit at curating music, but "Beats users" are somehow magically great at doing it. Instead of paying Iovine $10 a month, you could just find someone already doing that, and befriend them.
Still, targeting the product at gym users makes sense. People who will pay for a machine which lets them run on the spot will shovel cash over for anything.
When [Frank] Ocean pipped him to the Best Urban Contempary Album award, the whole audience rose to their feet to applaud him - except bad loser Brown, who stayed planted to his seat in a sulk.
As TV cameras focused in on his protest, Adele could be seen across the aisle, glaring in his direction.
And when the applause died down, the 24-year-old cornered him for a tense one-on-one.
Cameras didn't pick up Adele's choice of words - but judging by Brown's body language, it wasn't pretty.
Interesting that Gordon thinks Ocean "pipped" Brown to the award - obviously nobody knows what the judges came up with, but on every other measure, Ocean surely trounced Brown by a country mile.
Still: Go Adele. I think we should find the money to send Adele following Brown everywhere for a year, letting him know what we think.
Sidenote:
She might have been suggesting he keep a lower-profile at the event - which marks the fourth anniversary of his arrest for assaulting Rihanna after a pre-Grammys party in 2009.
It's a small thing, but the anniversary of Brown being charged was Friday. The Grammys don't take place on the same date every year.
Prince has tried some odd approaches to the music business over the years - giving an album away for free to Mail On Sunday readers being one of the oddest (most readers used the disc to throw at foxes.)
In order to let you have a bargain, for just fifteen pence I'm prepared to tell you that the song is as meandering, noodly and disappointingly self-indulgent as nearly everything else he's done in the last twenty years. Paypal me 15p, and I'll email you back that sentence.
So, the defining battle of our time has been fought, and won, and now it's official:
is better than
Or, at least, Somebody That I Used To Know has bested We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together for Record Of The Year at the Grammys.
For reasons that have never been convincingly explained, of course, the 'record of the year' isn't the same thing as 'song of the year' - and here, We Are Young (or 'We Are Writing The Song So We Can Live Off The Royalties For The Next Ten Years Whenever A Lazy Montage Sequence On The TV Features People Who Are Young', to give it its full name) bested Call Me Maybe.
Yes, you read that right. The Grammys jury went with the wispy beard over the obviously great song.
The best album went to Mumford And Sons for Babel. With every high-profile award, the whole point of the band seems harder and harder to discern. They're a bit like Ben And Jerrys now - you might like to read the homespun, earth-friendly packaging, but you can't ignore that it's being dumped into cartons by Unilever.
Adele managed to get an award in a quiet year - not for Skyfall, even the Grammys wouldn't push it that far - but for a live track from Live At The Albert Hall. That sounds a bit like chearing.
In 2013, Dan Auerbach and the Black Keys were the biggest winners, taking home four trophies. Skrillex claimed three, as did Gotye, Jay-Z and Kayne West.
Black Keys did at least bring Dr John on for their 'surprise! we're doing a collaboration' bit, which was a way of sneaking a true legend onto prime time CBS.
At the more hackneyed end of s!wdac was Ed Sheeran coming on with Elton John, which I think makes Sheeran the new Pete Doherty.
The Wall Street Journal's description of the closing number sounds like the sort of thing that would have been tolerable if you were a bit drunk:
The show closed with another performance that brought together unlikely, if aging, pioneers of different genres. A pair of rap icons who rose to prominence in the 1980s—Chuck D, of the group Public Enemy, and LL Cool J, also the show's host—was backed by a band that included hard rock musicians from the 1990s: Guitarist Tom Morello, of Rage Against the Machine, and drummer Travis Barker of Blink-182.
As is now traditional, Chris Brown marked the event by being an enormous asshole. Dawn reports:
R&B singer Chris Brown showed up smiling at the Grammy Awards show on Sunday, saying he was just a little banged up after crashing his car into a wall on the eve of the annual music industry awards.
“Little bit of bumps, I’m good though,” Brown, 23, dressed in a white Lanvin suit, told E! News on the red carpet.
Brown crashed his Porsche into a wall in Beverly Hills on Saturday and told police he was trying to elude aggressive paparazzi.
“I’ll get another one,” Brown, laughing, told E! News on Sunday. “Insurance is good.”
Of course he's not worried about smashing his car to pieces on the way to the awards. He did the same thing to Rihanna en route a couple of years back, and that didn't cause him any problems.
Best line in all the coverage goes to the New York Times, and Ben Ratliff:
Taylor Swift opened the CBS telecast performing “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” — with freaky clowns, stilt-walking experts, parasols, a large white rabbit, like a well-coordinated Burning Man happening or a late-period White Stripes photo shoot.
Without any further ado, here's the names and details of the winners:
1. RECORD OF THE YEAR
Somebody That I Used To Know
Gotye Featuring Kimbra
Wally De Backer, producer; Wally De Backer & Francois Tetaz, engineers/mixers; William Bowden, mastering engineer
Track from: Making Mirrors
Label: Universal Republic
2. ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Babel
Mumford & Sons
Markus Dravs, producer; Robin Baynton & Ruadhri Cushnan, engineers/mixers; Bob Ludwig, mastering engineer
Label: Glassnote
3. SONG OF THE YEAR
We Are Young
Jack Antonoff, Jeff Bhasker, Andrew Dost & Nate Ruess, songwriters (Fun.Featuring Janelle Monáe)
Track from: Some Nights
Label: Fueled By Ramen; Publishers: WB Music, FBR Music, Bearvon Music/Rough Art/Shira Lee Lawrence Rick Music/Way Above Music/Sony ATV Songs
4. BEST NEW ARTIST
Fun.
5. BEST POP SOLO PERFORMANCE
Set Fire To The Rain [Live]
Adele
Track from: Live At The Royal Albert Hall
Label: XL/Columbia
6. BEST POP DUO/GROUP PERFORMANCE
Somebody That I Used To Know
Gotye Featuring Kimbra
Track from: Making Mirrors
Label: Universal Republic
7. BEST POP INSTRUMENTAL ALBUM
Impressions
Chris Botti
Label: Columbia
8. BEST POP VOCAL ALBUM
Stronger
Kelly Clarkson
Label: RCA Records/19 Recordings LLC
10. BEST DANCE/ELECTRONICA ALBUM
Bangarang
Skrillex
Label: OWSLA/Big Beat/Atlantic
11. BEST TRADITIONAL POP VOCAL ALBUM
Kisses On The Bottom
Paul McCartney
Label: Hear Music
12. BEST ROCK PERFORMANCE
Lonely Boy
The Black Keys
Track from: El Camino
Label: Nonesuch
13. BEST HARD ROCK/METAL PERFORMANCE
Love Bites (So Do I)
Halestorm
Track from: The Strange Case Of…
Label: Atlantic
14. BEST ROCK SONG
Lonely Boy
Dan Auerbach, Brian Burton & Patrick Carney, songwriters (The Black Keys)
Track from: El Camino
Label: Nonesuch; Publisher: McMoore McLesst Publishing
15. BEST ROCK ALBUM
El Camino
The Black Keys
Label: Nonesuch
16. BEST ALTERNATIVE MUSIC ALBUM
Making Mirrors
Gotye
Label: Universal Republic
17. BEST R&B PERFORMANCE
Climax
Usher
Track from: Looking 4 Myself
Label: RCA Records
18. BEST TRADITIONAL R&B PERFORMANCE
Love On Top
Beyoncé
Track from: 4
Label: Columbia Records
19. BEST R&B SONG
Adorn
Miguel Pimentel, songwriter (Miguel)
Label: RCA/Bystorm Entertainment; Publisher: Art Dealer Chic
20. BEST URBAN CONTEMPORARY ALBUM
Channel Orange
Frank Ocean
Label: Def Jam
21. BEST R&B ALBUM
Black Radio
Robert Glasper Experiment
Label: Blue Note
22. BEST RAP PERFORMANCE
N****s In Paris
Jay-Z & Kanye West
Track from: Watch The Throne
Label: Roc-A-Fella Records, LLC
23. BEST RAP/SUNG COLLABORATION
No Church In The Wild
Jay-Z & Kanye West Featuring Frank Ocean & The-Dream
Track from: Watch The Throne
Label: Roc-A-Fella Records, LLC
24. BEST RAP SONG
N****s In Paris
Shawn Carter, Mike Dean, Chauncey Hollis & Kanye West, songwriters (W.A. Donaldson, songwriter) (Jay-Z & Kanye West)
Track from: Watch The Throne
Label: Roc-A-Fella Records; Publishers: Hit-Boy Music/Very Good Beats, Hip Hop Since 1978, Dean’s List Productions, Unichappell Music
25. BEST RAP ALBUM
Take Care
Drake
Label: Cash Money Records
26. BEST COUNTRY SOLO PERFORMANCE
Blown Away
Carrie Underwood
Track from: Blown Away
Label: 19 Recordings Limited/Arista Nashville
27. BEST COUNTRY DUO/GROUP PERFORMANCE
Pontoon
Little Big Town
Label: Capitol Records Nashville
28. BEST COUNTRY SONG
Blown Away
Josh Kear & Chris Tompkins, songwriters (Carrie Underwood)
Track from: Blown Away
Label: 19 Recordings Limited/Arista Nashville; Publishers: Global Dog Music/Lunalight Music, Big Loud Songs/Angel River Songs
29. BEST COUNTRY ALBUM
Uncaged
Zac Brown Band
Label: Southern Ground/Atlantic
30. BEST NEW AGE ALBUM
Echoes Of Love
Omar Akram
Label: Real Music
31. BEST IMPROVISED JAZZ SOLO
Hot House
Gary Burton & Chick Corea, soloists
Track from: Hot House
Label: Concord Jazz
32. BEST JAZZ VOCAL ALBUM
Radio Music Society
Esperanza Spalding
Label: Heads Up International
33. BEST JAZZ INSTRUMENTAL ALBUM
Unity Band
Pat Metheny Unity Band
Label: Nonesuch
34. BEST LARGE JAZZ ENSEMBLE ALBUM
Dear Diz (Every Day I Think Of You)
Arturo Sandoval
Label: Concord Jazz
35. BEST LATIN JAZZ ALBUM
¡Ritmo!
The Clare Fischer Latin Jazz Big Band
Label: Clare Fischer Productions/Clavo Records
36. BEST GOSPEL/CONTEMPORARY CHRISTIAN MUSIC PERFORMANCE
10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)
Matt Redman
Track from: 10,000 Reasons
Label: sixstepsrecords/Sparrow Records
37. BEST GOSPEL SONG
Go Get It
Erica Campbell, Tina Campbell & Warryn Campbell, songwriters (Mary Mary)
Label: Columbia; Publishers: EMI April Music, It’s Tea Tyme, That’s Plum Song, Wet Ink Red Music
38. BEST CONTEMPORARY CHRISTIAN MUSIC SONG (TIE)
10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)
Jonas Myrin & Matt Redman, songwriters (Matt Redman)
Track from: 10,000 Reasons
Label: sixstepsrecords/Sparrow Records; Publishers: Thankyou Music/sixsteps Music/worshiptogether.com Songs/Said And Done Music/Shout! Publishing
Your Presence Is Heaven
Israel Houghton & Micah Massey, songwriters (Israel & New Breed)
Track from: Jesus At The Center Live
Label: Integrity Music; Publishers: Integrity’s Praise! Music/Sound of the New Breed, Regenerate Music
39. BEST GOSPEL ALBUM
Gravity
Lecrae
Label: Reach Records
40. BEST CONTEMPORARY CHRISTIAN MUSIC ALBUM
Eye On It
TobyMac
Label: ForeFront Records
Come To The Well
Casting Crowns
Label: Beach Street/Reunion Records
41. BEST LATIN POP ALBUM
MTV Unplugged Deluxe Edition
Juanes
Label: Universal Music Latino
42. BEST LATIN ROCK, URBAN OR ALTERNATIVE ALBUM
Imaginaries
Quetzal
Label: Smithsonian Folkways Recordings
43. BEST REGIONAL MEXICAN MUSIC ALBUM (INCLUDING TEJANO)
Pecados Y Milagros
Lila Downs
Label: Sony Music
44. BEST TROPICAL LATIN ALBUM
Retro
Marlow Rosado Y La Riqueña
Label: Pink Chaos Productions
45. BEST AMERICANA ALBUM
Slipstream
Bonnie Raitt
Label: Redwing Records
46. BEST BLUEGRASS ALBUM
Nobody Knows You
Steep Canyon Rangers
47. BEST BLUES ALBUM
Locked Down
Dr. John
Label: Nonesuch
48. BEST FOLK ALBUM
The Goat Rodeo Sessions
Yo-Yo Ma, Stuart Duncan, Edgar Meyer & Chris Thile
Label: Sony Classical
49. BEST REGIONAL ROOTS MUSIC ALBUM
The Band Courtbouillon
Wayne Toups, Steve Riley & Wilson Savoy
Label: Valcour Records
50. BEST REGGAE ALBUM
Rebirth
Jimmy Cliff
Label: UMe/Sunpower
51. BEST WORLD MUSIC ALBUM
The Living Room Sessions Part 1
Ravi Shankar
Label: East Meets West Music
52. BEST CHILDREN’S ALBUM
Can You Canoe?
The Okee Dokee Brothers
Label: Okee Dokee Music LLC
53. BEST SPOKEN WORD ALBUM
Society’s Child: My Autobiography
Janis Ian
Label: Audible, Inc.
54. BEST COMEDY ALBUM
Blow Your Pants Off
Jimmy Fallon
Label: Warner Bros. Records/LoudMouth Entertainment
55. BEST MUSICAL THEATER ALBUM
Once: A New Musical
Steve Kazee & Cristin Milioti, principal soloists; Steven Epstein & Martin Lowe, producers (Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova, composers/lyricists) (Original Broadway Cast With Steve Kazee, Cristin Milioti & Others)
Label: Masterworks
56. BEST COMPILATION SOUNDTRACK FOR VISUAL MEDIA
Midnight In Paris
(Various Artists)
Label: Madison Gate Records, Inc.
57. BEST SCORE SOUNDTRACK FOR VISUAL MEDIA
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross, composers
Label: Null/Madison Gate
58. BEST SONG WRITTEN FOR VISUAL MEDIA
Safe & Sound (From The Hunger Games)
T Bone Burnett, Taylor Swift, John Paul White & Joy Williams, songwriters
(Taylor Swift Featuring The Civil Wars)
Label: Big Machine Records/Universal Republic; Publishers: Sony ATV Tree Publishing, Taylor Swift Music, Sensibility Songs, Absurd Music, Shiny Happy Music, Baffle Music, Henry Burnett Music
59. BEST INSTRUMENTAL COMPOSITION
Mozart Goes Dancing
Chick Corea, composer (Chick Corea & Gary Burton)
Track from: Hot House
Label: Concord Jazz
60. BEST INSTRUMENTAL ARRANGEMENT
How About You
Gil Evans, arranger (Gil Evans Project)
Track from: Centennial – Newly Discovered Works Of Gil Evans
Label: ArtistShare
61. BEST INSTRUMENTAL ARRANGEMENT ACCOMPANYING VOCALIST(S)
City Of Roses
Thara Memory & Esperanza Spalding, arrangers (Esperanza Spalding)
Track from: Radio Music Society
Label: Heads Up International
62. BEST RECORDING PACKAGE
Biophilia
Michael Amzalag & Mathias Augustyniak, art directors (Björk)
Label: One Little Indian / Nonesuch
63. BEST BOXED OR SPECIAL LIMITED EDITION PACKAGE
Woody At 100: The Woody Guthrie Centennial Collection
Fritz Klaetke, art director (Woody Guthrie)
Label: Smithsonian Folkways Recordings
64. BEST ALBUM NOTES
Singular Genius: The Complete ABC Singles
Billy Vera, album notes writer (Ray Charles)
Label: Concord
65. BEST HISTORICAL ALBUM
The Smile Sessions (Deluxe Box Set)
Alan Boyd, Mark Linett, Brian Wilson & Dennis Wolfe, compilation producers; Mark Linett, mastering engineer (The Beach Boys)
Label: Capitol Records
66. BEST ENGINEERED ALBUM, NON-CLASSICAL
The Goat Rodeo Sessions
Richard King, engineer; Richard King, mastering engineer (Yo-Yo Ma, Stuart Duncan, Edgar Meyer & Chris Thile)
Label: Sony Classical
67. PRODUCER OF THE YEAR, NON-CLASSICAL
Dan Auerbach
68. BEST REMIXED RECORDING, NON-CLASSICAL
Promises (Skrillex & Nero Remix)
Skrillex, remixer (Nero)
Joseph Ray, Skrillex & Daniel Stephens, remixers
Label: Cherry Tree/Interscope
69. BEST SURROUND SOUND ALBUM
Modern Cool
Jim Anderson, surround mix engineer; Darcy Proper, surround mastering engineer; Michael Friedman, surround producer (Patricia Barber)
Label: Premonition Records
70. BEST ENGINEERED ALBUM, CLASSICAL
Life & Breath – Choral Works By René Clausen
Tom Caulfield & John Newton, engineers; Mark Donahue, mastering engineer (Charles Bruffy & Kansas City Chorale)
Label: Chandos
71. PRODUCER OF THE YEAR, CLASSICAL
Blanton Alspaugh
72. BEST ORCHESTRAL PERFORMANCE
Adams: Harmonielehre & Short Ride In A Fast Machine
Michael Tilson Thomas, conductor (San Francisco Symphony)
Label: SFS Media
73. BEST OPERA RECORDING
Wagner: Der Ring Des Nibelungen
James Levine & Fabio Luisi, conductors; Hans-Peter König, Jay Hunter Morris, Bryn Terfel & Deborah Voigt; Jay David Saks, producer (The Metropolitan Opera Orchestra; The Metropolitan Opera Chorus)
Label: Deutsche Grammophon
74. BEST CHORAL PERFORMANCE
Life & Breath – Choral Works By René Clausen
Charles Bruffy, conductor (Matthew Gladden, Lindsey Lang, Rebecca Lloyd, Sarah Tannehill & Pamela Williamson; Kansas City Chorale)
Label: Chandos
75. BEST CHAMBER MUSIC/SMALL ENSEMBLE PERFORMANCE
Meanwhile
Eighth Blackbird
Label: Cedille Records
76. BEST CLASSICAL INSTRUMENTAL SOLO
Kurtág & Ligeti: Music For Viola
Kim Kashkashian
Label: ECM New Series
77. BEST CLASSICAL VOCAL SOLO
Poèmes
Renée Fleming (Alan Gilbert & Seiji Ozawa; Orchestre National De France & Orchestre Philharmonique De Radio France)
Label: Decca Records
78. BEST CLASSICAL COMPENDIUM
Penderecki: Fonogrammi; Horn Concerto; Partita; The Awakening Of Jacob; Anaklasis
Antoni Wit, conductor; Aleksandra Nagórko & Andrzej Sasin, producers
Label: Naxos
79. BEST CONTEMPORARY CLASSICAL COMPOSITION
Hartke, Stephen: Meanwhile – Incidental Music To Imaginary Puppet Plays
Stephen Hartke, composer (Eighth Blackbird)
Track from: Meanwhile
Label: Cedille Records
80. BEST SHORT FORM MUSIC VIDEO
We Found Love
Rihanna Featuring Calvin Harris
Melina Matsoukas, video director; Juliette Larthe, Ben Sullivan, Candice Ouaknine & Inga Veronique video producers
Label: Def Jam
81. BEST LONG FORM MUSIC VIDEO
Big Easy Express
Mumford & Sons, Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros & Old Crow Medicine Show
Emmett Malloy, video director; Bryan Ling, Mike Luba & Tim Lynch, video producers
Label: S2BN Films
Lisa Wade over at Sociological Images reports on work by Kevin Steinmetz and Howard Henderson. They've tabulated hip-hop lyrics to explore the claims that rap is violently anti-cop. The results? Not so much:
Steinmetz and Henderson conclude:
We actually found that the overwhelming message in hip-hop wasn’t that the rappers disliked the idea of justice, but they disliked the way it was being implemented.
These communities, then, have a strong sense of justice… rooted in the sense that they’re not getting any.