MediaBistro has trouble adding up

American democracy has more than enough problems without people joining in to suggest the P Diddy is more interesting than politics by massaging the figures:

Diddy Got More Responses For Personal Assistant On YouTube Than CNN Debate Questions

But let's put the numbers in perspective (i.e. help CNN safely come down from its post-debate high) with a fun, if tangentially relevant, YouTube fact:

# No. of questions submitted for CNN's YouTube Debate: 2,989
# No. of responses to Diddy's YouTube call for an assistant: 10,000

Despressing stuff. Although, not strictly true stuff. There were, indeed, 2,989 questions posted for the CNN Democrat debate, but the vague "10,000 responses" seems to be an estimate of the total number of videos posted in response to the Diddy competition - and something of an overestimate. Since Mediabistro haven't mbothered to count the numerous additional videos that responded to the CNN debates which weren't direct questions, it seems only fair to exclude responses to Diddy that weren't actual entries. The outcome, then, is slightly different:

Number of questions submitted for CNN's YouTube debate: 2,989
Number of entries for Diddy's YouTube call for an assistant: 627, many of which were multiple posts by the same entrants.

Not, of course, that this means anything anyway - it's like those articles which count up the relative number of words in Wikipedia articles on, say, Star Wars action figures and Abraham Lincoln and conclude that Wikipedia users are stunted thought-wasters rather than that there are many, many thousands of more authoritative articles on mainstream subjects already published online and all those topics really need is a few links.

But let's not feed Diddy's myth that he's bigger than democracy, eh?

Natasha nixes 'no knickers' nonsense

Natashas Bedingfield has denied the story about her going on stage knickerless for the Diana concert without underwear. Not even practical, she claims:

"Anyone who believed that rumour needs to look up the meaning of the word gullible and apply it to themselves. Think about it, I wore a mini dress, the cameras and audience were directly below and it was windy... I'm not about to expose myself to millions of viewers and Princes."

Millions of Princes, of course, would be very disappointed. This, of course, is not simply an attempt to try and keep the story alive by referring to it again to keep it stoked up, of course.

We also love the slightly outraged tone of her post. "It was windy and I was wearing a short skirt and above everybody...." - which seems to suggest she was happy enough to flash her knickers in front of the millions of Princes, allowing us to carefully calibrate that she's not that sort of girl, but she is the other sort of girl.

This, presumably, will eat into the profit margin somewhat

Blackpool Pier has got a little bit over-excited at the prospect of a visit from Elton John. He's going to see Richard Shelton doing something on the end of it, and the Pier have got giddy and spent thousands on red carpets and champagne.

Pier spokeswoman Pearl Mina said: “We’re pulling out all the stops. It will be the most flamboyant night Blackpool has seen for years.”

Certainly the most flamboyant night since the 2004 finals of the Best British Donkey contest.

If we could be serious for a moment

It's now a month since the Keystone Terrorists attempted an attack on Glasgow Airport. And in that month: not a word from Omarion about how he is.

Omarion, are you alright, son?

Akon: sorry not the hardest word, just confusing

Akon, the man who dry humps underage girls, has got a bit of a problem understanding the concept of "I'm sorry." He's written a song to "apologise to Gwen Stefani" for costing her thousands of dollars in tour sponsorship. He's called it 'Sorry, Blame It One Me'.

Only, in the lyrics, rather than accepting the blame, Akon doesn't:

"I'm sorry for the hand that she was dealt
And for the embarrassment that she felt
She's just a little young girl trying to have fun
But daddy should of never let her out that young"

So, in the song "blame it on me" he blames fate and her dad. Rather than himself. And seems to think the problem is that the underage girl he simulated sex with was "embarrassed" rather than the whole him looking a little bit Gary Glitter.

The worst aspect of this affair is that by turning it into a song, we're all now going to have to suffer. And Akon is no Union Gap.

Kelly Clarkson abandons 'artistic integrity' for 'cosy life'

After having a taste of the life beyond the confines of top 40 pop, Kelly Clarkson has followed up her grovelling retraction of anything bad she might have said about Clive Davis with a promise to record whatever he sees fit. Which will be formula-fixed, tightly-targeted top 40 pop, of course. It'll be ready next year.

Now that her heart isn't in it, though, you might wonder what the point of it all is.

Apparently, the Police are a "new band"

You might think the Police are currently in the middle of a midlife reunion tour.

Oh no, says Andy Summers:

"It just all sounds non-creative to me," Summers said. "The kind of chemistry in our band, there's no reunion. It's like, 'OK, we're back together, how do we make this work on all levels?'

"In a sense, it feels more like a new band. It doesn't feel like some old band and we're just going to kind of try to remember the way the old songs went and do them just like that. That wasn't the spirit that made The Police what it was."

Ah. Yes, people are forking out for tickets on the basis this is a bunch of middle-aged guys just jamming together, and not because it's a reunion of The Police. Oddly, though, tickets are priced as if it was a reunion of The Police. Funny that.

Murphy goes free

The lovely Roisin Murphy is offering something of a sweet deal: you give her details about your life, contact details and so on, and she'll come round and give you a great big kiss. Or, at the very least, a free mp3.

It's like they're in cahoots

Before lunch, it was Babyshambles' second album appearing in the distance; now, it's the Dirty Pretty Things who are readying their second collection:

Anthony Rossomando told Spinner: "Carl and me, we've been to some cemeteries recently to do some writing. We go in the afternoon and hang out, drink a couple cans and wander around and bump back into each other and go 'What have you got? What have you got?' kind of thing."

We're slightly alarmed at the idea of the album being written while drinking cider in a graveyard, which makes us fear the main focuses of the lyrics are going to be how far you can get with an upper sixth girl and how parents, right, just don't get it, but it's surely got to be better than having the album knocked together during the downtim,e between court appearances and digging escape tunnels out of rehab.

Release is expected during a vague "Spring 2008".

Why the Towers fell

The Rev, who attempted to leave The Towers of London with whatever dignity he could muster, has revealed exclusively to the NME why he had to go:

"I felt the integrity of the band had gone since Donny's appearance on 'Celebrity Big Brother'. Donny and Dirk [Tourette] became all about the partying and the music suffered. It had become the Donny Tourette show. I left the band on my own terms."

The integrity had gone from The Towers of London. It's a bit like suggesting the fun had gone out of the mortuary business. And we love the idea that the music had suffered - to be honest, we'd not realised that they actually made music; we'd thought they just came on stage and stood around doing lines from Bad News as blank verse.

Mel B continues to demonstrate how over Eddie Murphy she is

We're glad that Mel B has managed to put the unpleasantness with Eddie Murphy behind her - why, she barely mentions it these days. The latest barely mentioning it comes in the form of a in-depth interview about her relationship with him. It seems she was somewhat surprised to hear she was no longer his girlfriend, as she believed she was his fiance:

hey were apparently going to buy a house in Malibu together, although they'd disagreed over their differing lifestyles - something the singer had planned to