Ja Rule looks for whipping boys

Another email from James P, demonstrating that "Ja Rule is American for Jim Davidson".

We'll let him tell you why:

Responding to the forthcoming Congressional hearing which will look into whether the media stereotypes and degrades black women, Ja Rule isn't happy. His reckoning? If they're going to look into whether rap lyrics are corrupting the nation's youth, they should also look at what teh gheys are doing. Apparently it's just as bad...

"If (lyrics are responsible), then we need to go step to Paramount, and fucking MGM, and all of these other motherfuckers that's making all of these movies and we need to go step to MTV and Viacom, and lets talk about all these fucking shows that they have on MTV that is promoting homosexuality, that my kids can't watch this shit. Dating shows that's showing two guys or two girls in mid-afternoon. Let's talk about shit like that! If that's not fucking up America, I don't know what is."

Whilst I agree with him in principle - MTV should not be screening dating shows mid-afternoon (because they're a MUSIC CHANNEL and the last time I saw any music on MTV was in 1998) - I must admit he loses me a bit with his reasoning. If I'm reading it correctly, he's saying we shouldn't be investigating one possible source of minor-corruption because, erm, he can think of another one.

Another thing; I always thought that the whole appeal of popstars was that they provided an alternative to our stuffy parents, giving us spokespeople who were kicking out against the mainstream, shaking up the system. Ja Rule, on the other hand, seems to be spouting the exact same homophobic piffle that ver kids could read if they picked up their Dad's Daily Mail. (I've never understood this 'promoting homosexuality' thing; Are our children at risk of suddenly turning gay if they meet a convincing-enough salesman? Could the staunchest heterosexual be turned if Barry Scott demonstrated the benefits of homosexuality, possibly with some sort of Penny Test?)

Now, Rule might think he's demonstrated that rap isn't that bad - but, boy, he's so angry, and hate-filled, and full of paranoid fear... it's hardly a good advert, is it?

Rap sheet: two arrests in New York

Police-related problems for Lil Wayne and Ja Rule, both of whom were stopped by police while allegedly carrying guns at the weekend.

Wayne managed to draw attention to himself by smoking a joint in the street; Mr. Rule's car was pulled over for speeding. Both men were carrying handguns, according to the crimesheets.

LAWYERS. THEY'LL TAKE ON ANYTHING: We don't quite understand the lawsuit filed against Ja Rule by Tony Veanie. His beef seems to be that Mr. Rule filmed a video about a murder for the I Cry single near his house, and, somehow, as a result, Veanie has been threatened, shot at and stabbed. The connection between the two isn't clear, unless Veanie is suggesting that criminals view the video as a kind of 'Wish you were here' for street crime - "let's go and do some stabbing on that street, Elmer" - but he reckons that it's USD25,000 in trouble. Ja Rules The Inc. (nee Murder Inc) have dismissed the claim as coming from a man who is "sick in the head."

The word that you heard

As if the fear of a modern day Grease 3 isn't enough to scare you, Ja Rule and Ashanti are plotting a remake of the original, in a truncated music video form. Ja's got it all worked out in his head:

"We'll start out the video with the whole transition thing — where she got on her slut outfit, she's smoking a cigarette and coughing and her girls are there. She's like, 'Well, if he wants me to be more street, that's what I gotta do.' And they cut to me and I'm in my sweater and my niggas are there, rolling the dice or whatever and they're looking at me like, 'Yo, what the fuck?' "I'm like 'I love her. If she wants me to be a little more [preppy], this is what I gotta do.' I see her in the slut outfit and I rip off my joint then I'm in all black and it's on and popping. It's gonna be hot"

Somehow, we can't believe it's going to outclass Hilda Baker and Arthur Mullard's classic remake of the You're The One That I Want video, but it's probably going to come close.