LEEDS IN FROM THE FRONT: A YORKSHIRE ROUND-UP

The NME has sorted out its Leeds blog and, unlike in Reading where they just hover behind the famous getting themselves flustered but with no touching, in Leeds they're getting the celebs to blog.

Well, we say celebs... Maggot from Goldie Lookin' Chain and Pete Wentz.

Maggot revealed he was missing out on the chance of fish and chips to be there:

I’ve decided to shun the offer of a free helicopter ride down to Essex for Preston and Chantelle’s wedding to stick with the rest of the lads to soak up the great atmosphere that is Leeds. I wouldn’t have got back in time if I went to the nuptials anyway, so just as well.

(We guess that odd business is down to him speaking Welsh or something.)

Wentz, meanwhile, was thinking about his trousers:

i think the only bands that get the sea of thousands moving are the likes of maiden and who knows, but i felt like we clocked in and worked today - you know you got time to lean you got time to clean. and that place was shining. pants ripped in half. they were 5,000 dollar samples stolen from diesel. only two exist - one on me and one in italy. now only one in italy. i guess i just raised the value on that last pair. thank god i worn underwear today. wouldnt want some naked pics getting out on the internet.

Nobody, Pete, would have wanted that.

Over on the proper NME.com, a chilling headline:

Karen O loses it at Carling Weekend

Blimey - has she finally flipped and taken people out with a knife, guitar or bottle of sauce? Erm... no, she "collapsed in giggles" taking her hat off.

BBC Three is reporting that Mani from Primal Scream has been misplaced, which is a bit of a problem as they're meant to be headlining and all.

KSera loved Placebo last night, but hated the company:

Saw MCR but it wasnt as good as bein at da apollo when i saw them last year, then got well near the front for Placebo - but it was full of bloody kids who didnt know who the fuck they were, you know the front is supposed to be a moshpit!! Frankly i feel sorry for Placebo because they were tryna get the crowd going but they were just having none of it, it makes me ashamed to be british.

There was a lot of shame in that mosh pit last night - Melinda felt ashamed, too:

omg went to see placebo at leeds n im actually ashamed i was there little chavs or wel ppl who hadnt heard of them were stood in the mosh pit n just made us like we were h8rs aah! brian u rock!!

So ashamed, she's lost the power of speech.

It's not like we're trying to pretend that Pearl Jam aren't there or anything - even though, you know, it's not bloody 1993 and if we've managed to make it into this century we don't see why everyone else can't. But for Boyo, they were the main attraction:

obviously to see Pearl Jam again. another great show by the boys. tried to see the Kooks but there was no chance of getting in the tent. utter mayhem. organisers dropped a bollock not putting them on main stage!!!

It does seem he's right on the Kooks - NME reported their Leeds set was a lock-out, although judging by how uncomfortably overfilled every corner of the two sites looks, that might be logistics rather than any deep longing for stage-school kicks.

After all, watching at home, and able to stretch out as much as he wanted, indie-pirate responded to them coming on by "fiddling with my phone".

Of course, if you can't go to Leeds, and don't watch on TV, you can be there in spirit, or at least in footwear: Smallgirl Towers can't wear her skirt and boots tonight, as her boots have gone (with Tom) to the festival. Doesn't say if Tom took the skirt as well.

Meanwhile, bbc.co.uk/leeds samples the unsigned acts:

Send More Paramedics bringing their unique brand of Zombie rock to a very receptive Lockup Stage audience.

Obviously there's nothing like threatening to eat their brains to get the festival crowd on your side.

Just don't get blood on the boots, you bastards. They're borrowed.

music leeds festival leeds 2006 music

READING THE RUNES: ANOTHER READING ROUND-UP

The Reading Festival always want to be an international event, and nothing goes round the world like an emo kid being slapped in the head with a bottle: Brendan Urie's injury got covered by sources as far-flung as Conneticut-based Starpulse, Austria's Pressemitteilung service.

Totally Loveable was in the crowd when it happened, and she wasn't impressed:

anyways i stood over at the side waiting for them to come on and when they did i was dead excited.. anyways they started off amazin Brendon is just soo fine and he has the most incredible voice... anyways this is the part that has me seriously pissed off.. some fucker decides that it would be a laugh to bottle him and it hit in square in the eye, all i saw was him lying on the stage, i was so worried i started crying.. it's not a fuckin nice thing to do you fuckin asshole whoever you are... it's fuckin ridiculas and i swear if i was in the pit i would have smacked you one... fuckin ass... anyways he got back up and continued the set which i think was incredible.. YOU FUCKIN LEGEND!! i have so much respect for him, he's fuckin incredible...

Tossing bottles is mindless violence, and best answered with, erm, more violence and some swearage.

We hadn't realised - not being at Reading and all - until the wrongly-subtitled NME editor Conor McNicholls appears on BBC Three last night that Urie had been unconscious for several minutes, which makes his decision to plough on with the set even more foolhardy ("impressive"). Urie plays it down, says Gigwise:

“I’m doing I'm doing alright now, I could be way worse, I could be dead.

"What I remember is I got hit, got knocked out, woke up and finished the set! I was out for a couple of seconds, I guess. Then we played some music, it was good. I've got a bruise, but looks good. It makes me look rugged and tough."

It's a bruise, honey, it's not a set of distorting eyes for everyone who looks at you.

Of course, it wasn't just PATD who were getting stuff thrown at them - Fightstar were, too, but Steve Renwick figures that might just have been valid critical analysis:

Apparently getting that much crap thrown at you is not a sign of appreciation.

Steve's blog naviagates through the first day via the medium of the grip quality of shoes, ranging from Ninja plimsoles for The Vines through to CAT boots for Franz Ferdinand.

Testicles Hennesey wasn't inpressed with wait for Franz Ferdinand to set up their fabulous backdrops, although it wasn't all bad:

Waited for Franz. And waited. And waited. They played Tenacious D over the speakers and EVERYBODY sang along, even to the speaking parts. Jarvis Cocker 'Cunts are still running the world' came on next, with sing-a-long words on the big screens. Great fun to see a security guard singing the chorus. You can probably guess how it goes.

Although admitting he enjoyed himself, Jan wasn't satisfied by the overall experience:

To demostrate just how commerical Reading is, and how justified Eugene is in his attack on our music scene, the only beer you can now buy at the festival is Carling. They were even searching bags for booze at the entrance. Given that the point of the festival is in equal parts music and drunkenness, this is a horrible transgression. The only thing worse that the taste of Carling is the chummy, laddish promotion that is fired at you from every direction as you navigate the festival.
[...]
The headline act for Friday night was Franz Ferdinand, who were granted a 1 1/2 hour slot. These guys exemplify everything I didn't like about the festival. Generic, completely unchallenging. The only slightly unusual things about them at all is that they all look quite handsome, and that they are very good at what they do, in so far as it is possible. Just a few youngish white guys and their boring instruments. We have had enough of the standard five-piece band now! That has been the standard for the last forty years!

Hmm. The fact the boys-with-guitars standard has had forty years of history doesn't automatically make it worthless - it's a bit like someone emerging from the Proms going "violins and cellos every bloody year." And to use "good at what they do" as a criticism is equally puzzling - "it's a pity they weren't a bit more inept, that would have been good."

Jan's festival tip was Gogol Bordello - "a ray of hope", apparently.

And while Urie might be getting kudos for having been injured onstage, let's not forget that most people who turn up at festivals expect to return home looking like they've battled through the Somme: Sophi lists the result of her day down the front:

Festival injuries were that much more spectactular this year than previous (past years had mainly boring ones like sprained wrists and bruises but honourable mention to by little bro having his earrings ripped through his ears last year), Rosa got concusion and some great bruises on her head and I got a split eyebrow (butterfly stiches cos I chicken out and wouldn't let them sew it) and a blackeye!

The police are praising the crowds at Reading - with NME.com reporting only - only 205 crimes and 50 arrests:

Thames Valley Police say they have been pleased that "revellers have been well behaved and in good spirits" - in other words, there haven't been any Vietnam-exit type scenes yet. Yet.

The NME blog, meanwhile, has been rubbing shoulders with the famous:

Jack White stood next to me to watch firstly Be your Own Pet and secondly The Fall (Priya may claim he was standing next to him and not me, but this is nonsense). I think The White Stripes/Raconteurs front fella is trying to pluck up the courage to ask me out. I will probably accept, but only if he behaves like a gentleman.

This Is Fake DIY haven't said anything since nine last night - let's hope they're not one of those "only" 205 thefts.

Apparently, everyone's talking about Pigeon Detectives. That may be, but nobody seems to be typing about them.

music reading 2006 franz ferdinand jack white gogol bordello

AN END OF HOPE?

Is it all over for Hope of the States after the festivals? A management statement passed to Colin Murray says that this weekend's shows will be their last. They played Leeds last night; the weekend merry-go-round dumps them in Reading tomorrow evening for what may be their last run out. If the end to live appearances is linked to a dropping of studio work as well, the statement didn't say.

music hope of the states

THE TWO FERGIES

There was something inevitable about two celebrity-hoovers with the same name eventually coming together, so without any surprise Fergie from The Black Eyed Peas and Fergie from the now-defunct British royal family are coming together to do something or other for publicity ("charity").

We're not being comedy-vague about it, either, as Fergie Lady Lumps doesn't seem to know what it's all about, either:

"I think we're going to do charity work together. I know she helps build schools.

"I just had a phone conversation with her. It was fantastic."

The actual details of what they'll be doing will be worked out after the photographers have been booked.

music fergie black eyed peas sarah ferguson

BONO IS POINTLESS SAYS, ERM...

Ronnie Wood isn't impressed with Bono or Bob Geldof, snorting that their political activities don't do any good:

He reckons their efforts make no difference to the status quo.

The 59-year-old also said all he wanted to do was entertain people.

He stormed: "I would never go into politics like Bono. Geldof and him can keep trying until the end of the earth but it won't make a difference."

This, of course, is based on a mistaken belief that property developer and Wall Street financier Bono is interested in upsetting the status quo rather than upholding it.

He added: "I like to make people happy. Politics doesn't do that. Art does."

That's not strictly true, though, is it, Ron? Politics can make people happy - for example, by funding education properly, a nation's politicians can provide young people with the skills and inspiration to go on to create art that will generate happiness. That does require people to pay their taxes rather than pretend to be Dutch to avoid them, though, doesn't it, Mr. Wood?

music bono bob geldof ronnie wood rolling stones

THOSE THAT COD HAVE PUT TOGETHER...

More congratulations are in order, it seems, as Preston from the Ordinary Boys finally marries Nikki Horse-faced Grace Pete Chantelle, serving their guests fish and chips in newspaper.

We imagine the newspapers were there because, really, there wouldn't have been a wedding without them ("to show how down-to-earth the couple are"). The wedding was being underwritten by a magazine contract supposedly worth a third of a million quid, but:

[T]he posh bash was largely free of celebrities after limelight-hating Preston, 25, insisted on the day being low-key.

We've always found that the best way to avoid the limelight is to sign a deal to sell your wedding photos to just the one magazine. A show-off would have wanted to be on the cover of OK!, Heat and Hello.

Tucked away at the end of the Sun's coverage is a rather odd note:

Just one hour before the guests were due to arrive, a huge sewage truck threatened to bar their way.

As two uniformed policemen looked on, council workers siphoned muck out of two drains 20 yards from the hotel.

A plain-clothed forensics expert then sifted through the dregs. A police spokesman said: “Nothing was found.”

Well, perhaps nothing was found. But a journalist might have asked the more pertinent question of what the police were doing poking through drain-sludge in the middle of London.

music chantelle preston ordinary boys