THOSE THAT COD HAVE PUT TOGETHER...

More congratulations are in order, it seems, as Preston from the Ordinary Boys finally marries Nikki Horse-faced Grace Pete Chantelle, serving their guests fish and chips in newspaper.

We imagine the newspapers were there because, really, there wouldn't have been a wedding without them ("to show how down-to-earth the couple are"). The wedding was being underwritten by a magazine contract supposedly worth a third of a million quid, but:

[T]he posh bash was largely free of celebrities after limelight-hating Preston, 25, insisted on the day being low-key.

We've always found that the best way to avoid the limelight is to sign a deal to sell your wedding photos to just the one magazine. A show-off would have wanted to be on the cover of OK!, Heat and Hello.

Tucked away at the end of the Sun's coverage is a rather odd note:

Just one hour before the guests were due to arrive, a huge sewage truck threatened to bar their way.

As two uniformed policemen looked on, council workers siphoned muck out of two drains 20 yards from the hotel.

A plain-clothed forensics expert then sifted through the dregs. A police spokesman said: “Nothing was found.”

Well, perhaps nothing was found. But a journalist might have asked the more pertinent question of what the police were doing poking through drain-sludge in the middle of London.

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