Thursday, December 31, 2015

Jedward are taking on ISIS

The world is ending the year weary, as a tiny band of tiresome-but-weaponised dullards try to run a ruler of terror across the planet.

Listen up, ISIS: Sure, you're an over-rated prepubescent wet dream that's hung around way too long.

But we've got our own over-rated prepubescent wet dream that's hung around way too long, and they're taking you on.

Jedward are touring airports to somehow counteract terrorism:

The Irish twins will embark on a series of gigs across Europe to reassure their fans that "everything will be okay​".

However, those wanting a performance from the duo will be left disappointed, as the two will just be meeting fans.

"We're not performing but instead we plan on defying the current fears about terrorism by reassuring our fans that everything will be okay​," John told the Irish Sun.
I know what you're thinking - you wouldn't trust Jedward to accurately predict the weather if they were stood outside in a thunderstorm, so to what extent is their reassurance that there's nothing to be worried about actually reassuring?

On the other hand, what a superb riposte to ISIS. "Yeah, guys, look, we're so bothered by you, we've got Jedward on the case."

The Home Office said there are no plans to raise the threat level to Chico in the foreseeable future.

15 Step: Valete

Lynn Anderson, country singer
Yao Beina, singer
Miriam Bienstock, co-founder, Atlantic Records
Cilla Black, singer
Errol Brown, singer, Hot Chocolate
Billy Butler, soul singer
Brandon Carlisle, drummer, Teenager Bottlerocket
Lewis Chin, manager
Jim Diamond, singer, PhD
Alan Diaz, rapper Pumpkinhead
Little Jimmy Dickens, novelty country singer
Val Doonican, singer
Kim Fowley, manager
Andy Fraser, bassist, Free
Edgar Froese, founder, Tangerine Dream
Lesley Gore, teen pop star
William Guest, singer, Gladys Knight And The Pips
Chris Hardman, "Lil Chris"
Josie Jones, Liverpool legend
Johnny Kemp, new jack swinger
Ian Kilmister, Lemmy from Motorhead
B B King, singer
Ben E King, singer
Kelvin Knight, drummer, Delta 5
Andriy "Kuzma" Kuzmenko, leader, Skryabin
Carey Lander, keyboardist, Camera Obscura
Curtis Lee, singer
Jess Marquis, dj
Charmaybe Maxwell, singer, Brownstone
Jim McCann, singer, The Dubliners
Keith Mitchell, head beak, Captain Beaky
Joe Moss, manager, The Smiths
Rico Rodriguez, trombonist
Demis Roussos, singer
Ralph Sharon, keyboardist
Percy Sledge
Chris Squire, bassist, Yes
Steve Strange, singer, Visage
Jazz Summers, manager and label owner
Robbin Thompson, singer, Steel Mill
Jackie Trent, songwriter
Paul Walden, Guru Josh
Trevor ("Dozy") Ward-Davies, bassist, Dave Dee Dozy Beaky Mick & Titch
Scott Weiland, Stone Temple Pilot

15 Step: Releases

Part of 15 Step