Saturday, December 27, 2008

Venuewatch: Astoria to be born again

Melvin Benn is insisting that, after it's been knocked down and Crossrail completed, a new Astoria will arise in place of the old Astoria:

"It is a sad day for music fans who are losing out to long planned and long awaited progress of London's transport system," he explained.

However he added it was not the last of the Astoria: "We can do no more than celebrate how good it was and look forward to its replacement being born when construction begins."

It's possible that the current downturn might help the Astoria's chances of being rebuilt - after all, if nobody is going to want to pay top dollar for land for chi-chi flatlets or high-end retail, you might as well reconstruct the steady-earner of the Astoria on the site.

Still, it's nice to hear good news from Benn for a change.

Bookmarks: Some stuff to read on the internet: Last FM

Richard Jones of the recently downsized Last FM talks to Daily Tech about its assets and its future:

“It is a huge challenge; the common numbers are something like 300 million different tracks that we’ve recorded (that’s in tons of different spellings), and about 20 million different artists – but obviously not all of those are valid,” says Jones. “That’s the challenge: we still haven’t quite answered the question of how many unique artists there really are – there’s obviously much less than what we actually have because of all the misspellings. It’s an ongoing problem and it will never be solved, because there’s always new music being released as well and so you have to constantly keep updating the system.”

Peaches Geldof is tired of something

Peaches Geldof's marriage really is the gift that keeps on giving - since nobody is very interested in her pet magazine ("I Am Peaches Geldof, Hear Me Churn" - available wherever magazine retailers enjoy filling out return forms), at least she can constantly complain about reports on the state of her marriage to that bloke from that band:

She says, "It was a complete lie (that we are getting divorced). But a lot of newspaper stories are lies. They (rumours) just came out of the blue like a lot of tabloid stories. Just because I got married, they wrote that I was getting divorced. It didn't really (affect me), because I knew it wasn't true, so did my husband and my friends. So who else matters?"

A very good point, Peaches. So... erm, why are you issuing statements about it?

U2: Dissent in the ranks

Hey, it turns out it's not just us who worries about the people Bono rubs shoulders with. Larry Mullen isn't that comfortable, either:

Although he says he admires his bandmate for his achievements on the world stage – which he says will be “his legacy”, as well as his his voice and lyrics he adds: “My biggest problem really is sometimes the company that he keeps. And I struggle with that. Particularly the political people, less the financial people. Particularly Tony Blair – I mean, I think Tony Blair’s a war criminal. And I think he should be tried as a war criminal. And then I see Bono and him as pals, and I’m going: 'I don’t like that'.

He said Bono "would know how I feel about Tony Blair". Mullen said he understood why the singer had cosied up to President Bush. "George Bush has been very generous to his cause … the difference between him and Tony Blair is that Blair is intelligent. So he has no excuse for what he did. Whereas I think George Bush could find a few excuses for his behaviour.

It's admirably outspoken and honest of Mullen to say that in public - although it's hard to see why he's any more relaxed about the financial chums of Bono.

Bono, of course, has an explanation for why he rubs shoulders with Bush:
“It was embarrassing for the band. Edge always tells me, 'You’re an artist, remember that. You’re not a politician'. But if you’ve looked into the face of a mother whose daughter or son has died in their arms for no good reason, they don’t know or care who’s President of America. It’s something that once you’re a witness to, you can’t get it out of your head and so you don’t take shit on their behalf."

And that's a fair point - if you have the access, you should use it to push for good. Trouble is, Bono seemed to always be popping up to help Bush - photo-ops, stressing what a good job he was doing. And, indeed, the only time Bono seems to criticise his famous chums is when their period of power is coming to an end. It might be easier to believe that Bono is using his unique position to forward the needs of the many if the people with whom he met seemed more like they found the meetings awkward, rather than so much great fun.

Rate 08: This year just gone: August 2008

In one of the most poorly-thought-out screeds against downloading, Womble don Mike Batt used a bread metaphor that rapidly got stale. The LA Police suggested that Lindsay Lohan's sexuality had somehow calmed down the paparazzi. Dave Pearce left Radio One after someone spotted he was still in the schedules some ten years past his sell-by date.

Be Your Own Pet couldn't see a future with them in it but Magazine announced a reunion and Placebo swapped their Steves and the Dead Kennedys dropped another singer. Iron Maiden threw a little tantrum when they were nominated for a comeback award. Forward Russia spoiled the year by saying they were quitting; Bailterspace reactived and The Black Kids warned they might not be arsed to do a second record.

As Roger Daltrey railed against compulsary retirement, Cliff faltered trying to reach number one. Duffy seemed to think comparing her to Dusty Springfield was an insult, and not to Dusty. James Blunt wailed that he wanted to be left alone by the press during an interview with the press while Alice Cooper admitted he owed it all to Mary Whitehouse. Not all outrage is good, though: paying cash to Holy Fuck threw some Canadian arts funding into doubt.

Some punks came out for McCain, Jackson Browne told McCain to stop while Gordon Smart alone laughed as Rod Stewart drew penises on McFly. Gordon also excelled himself by exclusively revealing that Joss Stone was going to record Obama's theme song, a story only weakened by its lack of being in any way true. The Telegraph wasn't too worried about the truth of Britney to play lesbian stories, it just counted the clicks.

30 Seconds To Mars owed Virgin big time, at least according to Virgin; Chrsyallis blamed its rubbish performance on having rubbish bands, Sony became sole owner of Sony BMG while Google got into legal, paid-for downloads, at least in China. Buckcherry kicked up a fuss about their music being leaked online but when strangely quiet when the Wall Street Journal revealed it was their manager wot dun it. Could Kid Rock's success be because he wasn't on iTunes? No, just despite not being so - as Estelle's people discovered when they tried the same trick.

Madonna had a charity football event kicked out of the Millennium Stadium, not far from where REM were struggling to fill venues. Mel C's positive pronouncements about how great the Spice reunion was makes strange reading in light of what she said on Buzzcocks a couple of months later.

If Miley Cyrus had hoped for a night off for her birthday, she was disappointed: Disney turned her Sweet Sixteen into a public event with a price tag. Australians put a price of Everett True's head as he managed to upset an entire nation - and even the prospect of a Chris DeBurgh date had Iran raging.

In a world torn between laughing and crying over Peaches Geldof's hackneyed Las Vegas marriage, only Hello magazine alone tried to look on the bright side.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Legendobit: Eartha Kitt

The not-quite-irony of a woman who recorded Santa Baby dying on Christmas Day was, sadly, not lost on any news network, all of whom used it as a hook for their obituaries of Eartha Kitt. Kitt lost her fight against cancer yesterday.

Born out of wedlock in 1927 - when such things mattered - into a poor family, Kitt turned an inauspicious start into a sixty year career, setting a template of singing and acting that would eventually invent Streisand, Turner and Middler, amongst others.

Although she was already established as a singer by the end of the Second World War, and with a debut album released in 1953, it was during the 1960s that she really cemented her position. Playing Catwoman in the TV Batman, and earning herself a blacklisting for condemning the Vietnam War. If she upset the right during the 60s, it was the left who would scold her in 1974, when she toured apartheid South Africa. Kitt's argument was that she was raising awareness, which at least sounded more plausible than when Queen, say, tried to justify their bumper pay days in the same manner.

It would be dance music - and the passage of time - which would eventually reclaim Kitt from the mire of political boycottage and start to buff her yup into something approaching national treasure. The combination of faux animal skin and kittenesque purr gave her a trademark identity, and a willingness to work hard past the point where many might have plumped for retirement ensured she sealed her position as a solid-gold legend.

Rate 08: This year just gone: July 2008

Having run out of enemies, Amy Winehouse started to slap members of her own organisation while James Blunt took on all of Athens. Having been invited to play Quebec, Macca managed to insult the city. On its birthday. Dublin, meanwhile, decided to upset Dubliners just to keep Dutch singer Bono happy and approved plans to let his property company screw with The Clarence on the river.

A nurse claimed that hosting a festival trebled the pregnancy rate in her town, but that was nothing compared to the mess Zoo8 left in its wake. Even worse was the Moscow rave where the lasers somehow ended up being shone into people's eyes. Coldplay ticket holders were asked to return their tickets to get different ones for no apparent reason.

Long-promoted 'three strikes and you're out' plans to disconnect people the BPI don't like resulted in a pointless compromise. The EU decided to extend mechincal copyrights to 85 years - hoping that was long enough that Cliff would be dead by the time his expired so he might stop visiting them - but also called for royalty organisations to be more competitive. Yahoo tried to pull the your DRM servers are being switched off trick. Surprisingly, McFly and the Mail On Sunday hooked up.

As the TV coverage focused on Nelson Mandela and not Queen, Brian May felt ITV had missed the point of Mandela's 90th birthday show; Dave Lee Roth had a fake, nut-allergic Dave Lee Roth to contend with and Lemmy sort-of broke German law (and all laws of good taste) by dressing as a Nazi. Billy Joel at least had the grace to admit he had never been in a concentration camp before comparing a rehab resort to one.

Having been at the middle of a really nasty incident with Kele from Bloc Party, John Lydon found a corner of the world where he was still treated with respect, as the Daily Star's gossip column was handed over to him for a day; Calvin Harris tried for a reviewer's job at NME - hopefully not simply to upset Mark Ronson - and Kanye cranked up his own platform to bypass the lying media. Hey, it's worked for Courtney Love - where else would she have got the chance to issue a claim that Ryan Adams robbed her blind without a bunch of lawyers insisting on proof and such like?

Hints of a Madonna affair suddenly made people in the UK have to pretend they knew what an A-Rod was and we discovered that Morrissey will never, ever share a toilet and 50 Cent will not tolerate jokes at his expense.

Alan McGee told new bands not to bother with record companies; and it turned out EMI's Guy Hands had invested in the movie Nine Dead Guys while Poison started fighting over their booking to play a rodeo. Amongst themselves. Noel Gallagher wouldn't approve - he wanted an end to violence - perhaps by banning computer games? Boris Johnson thought that Lily Allen might have the answer to knife crime. Ringo Starr asked for world peace as a birthday present, but the world had already bought him some crayons and a sweater.

David Davis resigned from parliament in order to make some sort of point that he'd not quite thought about. Who would fall for such showboating? Bob Geldof was the first to endorse him. At least he didn't accidently endorse a mayoral candidate on air, like Jason Donovan did on 37 networked GCap stations. Jason went with Boris, but don't worry, Gordon: Robin Gibb still loves you - unfortunately, it was Tony James who ended up on Today.

Irony hit: Tim from the Cardiacs had cardiac problems.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Rate 08: Christmas selection box: MGMT

Everything must run its course - and, indeed, our plough through just a few of the better tracks of the year has reached its end:

MGMT - Time To Pretend

Rate 08: Christmas selection box: Florence & The Machine

Florence & The Machine - Kiss With A Fist

Rate 08: Christmas selection box: The Research

The Research - I Think She's The One I Love

Rate 08: Christmas selection box: Polly Scattergood

Polly Scattergood - Machines That Bleed

Rate 08: Christmas selection box: Neon Neon featuring Cate Le Bon

Neon Neon featuring Cate LeBon - I Lust U

Rate 08: Christmas selection box: The Hold Steady

Continuing our trawl thorugh some of the tracks of the year:

The Hold Steady - Sequestered In Memphis

Rate 08: Christmas selection box: Ipso Facto

Ipso Facto - Six And Three Quarters

Rate 08: Christmas selection box: Whispertown 2000

Whispertown2000 - Old Times

Rate 08: Christmas selection box: Esser

Esser - Headlock

Rate 08: Christmas selection box: Metronomy

Metronomy - On The Motorway

Rate 08: Christmas selection box: Pink

Pink - So What

After the nasty Try This, its good to see Pink re-embracing the idea of a decent single:

Rate 08: Christmas selection box: The Week That Was

The Week That Was - Learn To Learn

Rate 08: Christmas selection box: XX Teens

XX Teens - How To Reduce Your Chances Of Being A Terror Victim

The greatest record ever to be inspired by a Fox News feature

Rate 08: Christmas selection box: Ting Tings

Ting Tings - That's Not My Name

Yes, yes, of course they're more faux than Bet Lynch's leopardskin and, really, the song doesn't even quite count as a 2008 release. It's pop music.

Rate 08: Christmas selection box: Emmy The Great

Emmy The Great - We Almost Had A Baby

The best video of the year, obviously, as it features a toy lemur:

Rate 08: Christmas selection box: Stickboy

Stickboy - Pirouette

Rate 08: Christmas selection box: The Kabeedies

You could see it as an off-road version of Christmas Top Of The Pops. You could see it as a giant stocking filled with the cream of 2008's music. Or you could say it's just a bunch of YouTube videos strewn across the day. Whatever, sit back and enjoy. First up:

Kabeedies - Lovers Ought To

Rate 08: This year just gone: June 2008

The rising cost of gas was perusading bands to stay at home - not always a good thing. Michael Eavis was travelling by train, which gave him the chance to talk to black people about Jay-Z. With quite a few unsold tickets for Glasto, he could do with the support. Still, they all sold in the end and at least Glasto didn't suffer the fate of Go Wild In The Country, cancelled after Bjork quit.

Sensing the way the wind was blowing, George W Bush supporter Ricky Martin switched to the Democrats. He wouldn't be saddled on the losing side, he decided, endorsing Hillary Clinton. Craig David wasn't about to change sides, though: still banging on about Bo Selecta after all these years; equally unhappy were Devo, ripped off by McDonalds, they said. GCap Radio revealed they'd been running dodgy competitions on-air.

Blake Fielder-Civil pleaded guilty, R Kelly was acquitted but even appearing in court was nothing compared to what Chris Martin had to face - a Radio 4 arts programme interview.

WalMart suppliers Handleman announced they would handle CDs no longer as there wasn't any money to be made; after all this time, Paul McGuinness was still using the simplistic file sharing equals shoplifting metaphor. Legal download business SpiralFrog signed up EMI for its service, which now boasted more suppliers than customers and QTrax tried to launch again with limited success. Limited to "no" success. To capitalise on the failure of DVD-Audio, someone launched BluRay Audio into an overcrowded format market. Microsoft tried to quietly switch off its Plays For Sure DRM servers.

Usher offered to cure lesbians, Josh Homme fell back onto rubbish homophobia onstage, MTV France got fined for somehow managing to broadcast calls for gay people to be killed. The Daily Mail attempted to convince emokids that it was the paper, not the black clad youths, who were the victims of misunderstanding. In return for organising an anti-racism festival, Jon McClure got a smattering of threats as Boris Johnson axed the long-running Rise anti-racism event - which at least went down well with the BNP.

There wouldn't be a Jam reunion, as Weller damned the idea of reuniting as cabaret - which was enough to get Blue talking about dates.

I Was A Cub Scout were a band no longer while Mike Skinner announced the end of The Streets was in sight. Noel Gallagher realised that Oasis might not be as good as The Beatles.

Madonna announced she was now a director. Goodness, won't that make Guy surplus to requirements?

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Punk professor punched

Nasty end to a nostalgic night-out for a man who went to see The Damned's Komedia gig in Brighton. He'd been thrown out by bouncers who thought that he had attacked a woman - mistaken identity, he insists - and then noticed a group of men gathering in a threatening fashion. The Komedia staff weren't, he claims, entirely helpful:

He said: “A lot of guys just jumped on top of me. They were punching and kicking me as I was flat on my back on the floor.”
[...]
The 44-year-old said that as he lay battered and bruised on the ground, he was told by door staff: “What do you expect? It’s Brighton.”

The victim of the attack is apparently too scared of reprisals to speak to The Argus without a guarantee of anonymity.
A Komedia spokeswoman said she could not comment on the case because it was in the hands of the police but said violence was not a part of nightlife at the venue.

Really? The Komedia won't comment because the police are investigating? Or is that just a convenient excuse for not wanting to address the alleged behaviour of the door staff at the venue?

Zavvi endings?

Obviously, the timing of the collapse of Zavvi has been sped up by the failure of Woolworths' distribution, but it seems that all that has done is sped the inevitable, rather than brought destruction where there was only light. Even Zavvi's management team seem to tacitly accept that:

The group's founding partners Simon Douglas and Steve Peckham said: "We have done all that is possible to keep the business trading, but the problems encountered with EUK, and particularly its recent failure, have been too much for the business to cope with."

- that there was much else to cope with besides is certainly implied.

It's sad - who wouldn't rather buy music in a shop that at least once used to understand it rather than at Tesco? - and, for the staff, you'd have to hope they can salvage something in the New Year. But nobody who's shopped in a Zavvi since the ugly frontage first appeared on the High Street is going to be that surprised by this one.

Rate 08: Albums of the year

Not comprehensive - but possibly too large - guide to the albums of the year; tomorrow, celebrate Christmas with a musical selection box of tunes.


Black Mountain - In The Future



Adorable - Footnotes



Cat Power - Jukebox



Aidan John Moffat - I Can Hear Your Heart



Lightspeed Champion - Falling Off The Lavender Bridge



Tying Tiffany - Brain For Breakfast



Xiu Xiu - Women As Lovers



Sons And Daughters - This Gift



Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend



Helen Love - It's My Club & I'll Play What I Want To



The Duke Spirit - Neptune



Robots In Disguise - We're In The Music Biz



School Of Language - Sea From The Shore



Simon Breed - The Smitten King Laments



Tegan And Sara - The Con



Pete & The Pirates - Little Death



Los Campesinos - Hold On Now, Youngster



Die So Fluid - Not Everyone Gets A Happy Ending



Hawksley Workman - Between The Beautifuls



The Orb - The Dream



Malcolm Middleton - Sleight Of Hand



Kathryn Williams & Neil MacColl - Two



The Kills - Midnight Boom



MGMT - Oracular Spectacular



Neon Neon - Stainless Style



Operator Please - Yes Yes Vindictive



Ivor Cutler - A Flat Man



Be Your Own Pet - Get Awkward



Kimya Dawson - Remember That I Love You



Okkervil River - Black Sheep Boy



Diamanda Galas - Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Brand-new album from DG - her 17th



The Black Keys - Attack And Release



Boy Kill Boy - Stars And The Sea



Brian Jonestown Massacre - My Bloody Underground



Dawn Kinnard - The Courtesy Fall



Capercaillie - Roses And Tears



Forward, Russia - Life Processes



Blood Red Shoes - Box Of Secrets



Tift Merritt - Another Country



Tindersticks - The Hungry Saw



Long Blondes - Couples



Fosca - The Painted Side Of The Rocket



Half Man Half Biscuit - CSI Ambleside



The Fall - Imperial Wax Solvent



Portishead - Third



Robert Forster - The Evangelist



Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles



The Wave Pictures - Instant Coffee Baby



Tokyo Police Club - Elephant Shell



Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes



The Shortwave Set - Replica Sun Machine



Delays - Everything's The Rush



Isobel Campbell & Mark Lanegan - Sunday At Devil Dirt



Cut Copy - In Ghost Colours



They Came From The Stars, I Saw Them - We Are All In The Gutter, But...



El Perro Del Mar - From The Valley To The Stars



Spiritualized - Songs In A&E



Johnny Foreigner - Waited Up 'Til It Was Light



Ladytron - Velocifero



The Silver Jews - Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea



Shearwater - Rook



The Notwist - The Devil, You And Me



Johnny Truant - No Tears For The Creatures



Rudimentary Peni - No More Pain



Sarandon - Kill Twee Pop!



Gemma Ray - The Leader



Joan As Policewoman - To Survive



Errors - It's Not Something...



Lykke Li - Youth Novels



Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes



Emmylou Harris - All I Intended To Be



Tilly And The Wall - O



Wild Beasts - Limbo Panto



The Beep Seals - Things That Roar



Black Kids - Partie Traumatic



Patti Smith & Kevin Shields - The Coral Sea



Cute Is What We Aim For - Rotation



The Hold Steady - Stay Positive



Wire - Object 47



The Charlatans - Best of the BBC Sessions 1999 - 2006



Various - Life Beyond Mars



She & Him - Volume One



Heloise & The Saviour Faire - Trash Rats And Microphones



Marianne Faithfull - Live At The BBC



CSS - Donkey



Noah And The Whale - Peaceful The World Lays Me Down



Late Of The Pier - Fantasy Black Channel



Thom Yorke - Eraser: The Remixes



The Week That Was - The Week That Was



Pivot - O Soundtrack My Heart



Stereolab - Chemical Chords



Juliana Hatfield - How To Walk Away



Fujiya & Miyagi - Transparent Things



Squeeze - Complete BBC Sessions



Giant Sand - Provisions



Loudon Wainwright III - Recovery



Thomas Tantrum - Thomas Tantrum



James Yorkston - When The Haar Rolls In



Friendly Fires - Friendly Fires



Little Jackie - The Stoop



Manda Rin - My DNA



Emiliana Torrini - Me And Armini



Calexico - Carried To Dust



David Holmes - The Holy Pictures



Fiery Furnaces - Remember [Live]



Neil Halstead - Oh, Mighty Engine



Glasvegas - Glasvegas



Polysics - We Ate The Machine



Drever, McCusker & Woomble - Before The Ruin



Amanda Palmer - Who Killed Amanda Palmer?



Michael Franti & Spearhead - All Rebel Rockers



Wreckless Eric and Amy Rigby - Wreckless Eric and Amy Rigby



The Streets - Everything Is Borrowed



Christophe Beck - Buffy The Vampire Slayer: The Score



Jenny Lewis - Acid Tongue



O'Death - Broken Hymns Limbs and Skins



Roses Kings Castles - Roses Kings Castles



Euros Childs - Cheer Gone



Mogwai - The Hawk Is Howling



Cold War Kids - Loyalty To Loyalty



TV On The Radio - Dear Science



Thievery Corporation - Radio Retaliation



Ladyhawke - Ladyhawke



Mercury Rev - Snowflake Midnight



Ani Di Franco - Red Letter Year



Hot Puppies - Blue Hands



Euros Childs - Cheer Gone


Leonard Bernstein - 90 Years Of... box set



Of Montreal - Skeletal Lamping



Mr Scruff - Ninja Tune



Asian Dub Foundation - Punkara



Lambchop - Oh Ohio



Department Of Eagles - In Ear Park



Lucinda Williams - Little Honey



Tilly And The Wall - O



Those Dancing Days - In Our Space Hero Suits



Eugene McGuinness - Eugene McGuinness



Shelleyan Orphan - We Have Everything We Need



The Long Blondes - Singles



Okkervil River - The Stand Ins



Will Oldham & Bonnie "Prince" Billy - Is It The Sea?



Various - Jon Savage Presents....



Danielle Dax - Dark Adapted Eye



Lotus Eaters - Silentspace



Pink - Funhouse



Bloc Party - Intimacy



Los Campesinos - We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed



Chairlift - Does You Inspire You?



Steinski - What Does It All Mean?



Various - BBC Radiophonic Workshop: A Retrospective



School Of Seven Bells - Alpinism



Robin Guthrie - 3.19



Tony Christie - Made In Sheffield



Belle & Sebastian - BBC Sessions



Sigur Ros - Med Sud I Eyrum Vid Spilum Endalaust



David Byrne & Brian Eno - Everything That Happens Will Happen Today



Headless Heroes - The Silence Of Love



Aimee Mann - One More Drifter In The Snow



Beyonce - I Am Sasha Fierce

Rate 08: This year just gone: May 2008

A nation braced itself as The Sugababes warned there might not be a new album from them this year, Elton said he wouldn't make one for ages, while Whitesnake seemed convinced they'd been booked to support Led Zep.

Early signs of the financial crisis: Deutsche Bank cancelled a staff jolly with Duran Duran. And Gordon Brown was listening to The Bee Gees every day. Everclear went off cheerfully to play a gig for US troops in Guantanamo, giving them ideas about what music to torture prisoners with next.

For the second time, DMX had his name linked with a pile of dead dogs and was looking at legal grief, while R Kelly was finally getting his sex video day in court.

Rather than ignoring him, people tried to treat Noel Gallagher's complaints about Jay-Z at Glasto as if he had a point to make. Likewise, the Daily Mail's pitiful attempt to 'explain' emo resulted in a 'you don't understand us, it's so unfair' where a polite eye-rolling was all that was required.

It turned out that no matter how much money was spent by ITV viewers, Robbie Williams held a golden vote in the British Comedy Awards - and some fans were just as upset by the Radiohead remix contest.

Virgin Radio was picked up by the Times Of India - presumably far enough away to never have heard what they were buying. The world welcomed NME Radio - at last, Clare Sturgess at breakfast. At least it made more sense than the NME greetings cards range. In yet-another-attempt to find some customers, Napster decided to try selling mp3s.

The Vaselines reformed as the Gang Of Four slimmed down and Mumm Ra called it a day.

Let's be generous; let's assume that Tommy Steele was getting Elvis and Cliff muddled up when he claimed that he'd shown Presley round London. Cliff himself was taking on the late General Franco, who he believes stopped him winning Eurovision. In 1968.

Woolworths announced it would no longer sell singles, presumably because it was too busy not selling anything else to anybody.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Etheridge: He can't be anti-gay, he has my records

Fresh from Rufus Wainwright's clumsy attempt to campaign against Proposition 8 by suggesting he didn't really support gay marriage at all comes another example of pop stars who should know better not quite thinking through their stances, as Melissa Etheridge writes to the Huffington Post to try and calm everyone down about Rick Warren taking time off from hating gays to appear at Barack Obama's inauguration:

I told my manager to reach out to Pastor Warren and say "In the spirit of unity I would like to talk to him." They gave him my phone number. On the day of the conference I received a call from Pastor Rick, and before I could say anything, he told me what a fan he was. He had most of my albums from the very first one. What? This didn't sound like a gay hater, much less a preacher.

So, on the one hand we have a bloke making videos comparing gays to paedophiles, on the other, the same bloke tells Melissa Etheridge that he has some of her records. Well, that would seem to cancel each other out, right? After all, if a man tells you he owns a record by a lesbian, he can't possibly be all bad, right?
He explained in very thoughtful words that as a Christian he believed in equal rights for everyone. He believed every loving relationship should have equal protection. He struggled with proposition 8 because he didn't want to see marriage redefined as anything other than between a man and a woman. He said he regretted his choice of words in his video message to his congregation about proposition 8 when he mentioned pedophiles and those who commit incest. He said that in no way, is that how he thought about gays.

Aha - so, somehow, he accidentally managed to bracket people who love those of the same sex with people who take sexual advantage of children. Just blurted it out, accidentally, and probably really, really meant to edit it out of the video before distributing it.

Etheridge doesn't mention if the "open hearted" man she went to meet also suggested that he "regretted" calling the Church Of England's position on gay bishops "wrong" when he supported the Church Of Uganda boycott of the Lambeth Conference this year:
Dr Warren said that homosexuality is not a natural way of life and thus not a human right. "We shall not tolerate this aspect at all," Dr Warren said.

Etheridge suggests that gays and lesbians should engage with Warren, and rather than march on his church, should help out with his church's work against HIV and AIDS. Really, Mel? Because what he campaigns for is "saving sex for marriage" and "one partner for life". True love waits.

Oh, and he doesn't think condoms will help:
Supply condoms and eventually microbicides for everyone. The correct and consistent use of condoms may prevent HIV infection. But condoms will never stop the pandemic. In many places, getting condoms is nearly impossible. And even when a person has a condom and uses it properly, there still is a chance the condom will fail. Likewise, microbicides – which researchers hope will enable women to protect themselves – will only reduce risk, not eliminate it; the development of effective microbicides is still years away.


His desperation to stamp AIDS is so serious, he's invented a little acrostic - which he has copyrighted and insists can only be used with permission.
Yes, everyone should really get behind his campaign.

Etheridge is not an idiot. And she's probably capable of Googling Rick Warren's name. But, hey, he can't be all bad: he says he's bought her records.

Labels did rather nicely out of YouTube

Om Malik offers a juicy little dollop of information in his thoughts on Warner being kicked off (rather than walking) from YouTube:

All record labels got a piece of YouTube right before the company was sold to Google in October 2006 — a stake that translated into about $50 million each. That’s $25 million a year for 2-year contracts.

If Malik's figures are right, you might want to ponder how much of those millions found their way into artist's pockets; and if it is less than none, does that mean that the labels were making money from online video at the expense of the artists who created the music? And if that's the case... doesn't that make them a little what's the word? hypocritical?

Eric Clapton's got a shooter

Well, yes, Eric Clapton does love his guns, but you've got to understand: he only loves them because they're talking points:

"I'm not really that gregarious," the 63-year-old musician told the Art Newspaper. "And shooting with groups of people up and down the country has taught me a lot about how to get on with my fellow human beings."

I think he means that he enjoys other shooters' company and bonding over a shared love of using deadly weapons as playthings, and not that he can now force people to have a lovely conversation with him by ramming a sawn-off into their faces and insisting they "chat, NOW, and CHAT NICELY if you value your face."
Regarding his recent fixation with guns and game, Clapton explained, "It is following the same pattern as when I collected guitars -- I get obsessed, then engulfed and finally narrow the collection down."

It's not clear from the interview if he takes the same approach with the "fellow human beings".

Police are said to be considering reopening an investigation into claims Clapton was associated with a 1974 gun-homicide of a sheriff.

Madonna has Jesus at Christmas, claims Telegraph

Despite the quality-honour snapshot with a circle round his head, I'm not entirely sure that the Daily Telegraph believes the Madonna-dating-Jesus Luz story at all, but just can't resist the idea of Madonna and Jesus hanging out together:

Madonna's spokeswoman, Liz Rosenberg, did not deny reports that Madonna has been dating the model. She said: "I'm still waiting to hear about Jesus."

Since talking to the press, Rosenberg has been besieged by three dozen different churches offering to fill her in.

ISP tells RIAA: happy to help, where do we send the bill?

Given that the brilliant new idea from the RIAA is instead of wasting millions suing people, getting the ISPs to police copyrights, it's perhaps unsurprising that ISPs are asking exactly how the RIAA intends to pay for this service:

Jerry Scroggin is the owner of Bayou Internet and Communications(BIC), a small ISP based in Monroe, Louisiana with around 11,000 small business, residential, and municipal customers. BIC already receives notifications from the RIAA each month, and each time"I ask for their billing address," Scroggin told CNET. "Usually, I never hear back."

Scroggin understands the labels' need to protect their content and says he has a history of cooperating with law enforcement. In the case of RIAA notices, however, there is a lack of information to work from, but significant expense is involved when trying to track down a user who may not be doing anything wrong.

Interesting that the RIAA seem unwilling to pay for ISPs to do their work for them - it's almost as if the major labels have a team of ironists creating policy: "we'll make a lot of fuss about how bad it is for our business if people come to expect something for nothing, and then we'll tell another business we expect something for nothing..."

Michael Jackson is healthy

Despite what the Sunday Express might have told you, Michael Jackson isn't looking to have his lungs replaced:

Dr Tohme Tohme said in a statement issued to Reuters that stories claiming the singer was unwell were not true.

He added that author Ian Halperin made the claims to promote his unauthorised biography of the 50-year-old singer.

"The writer's wild allegations concerning Mr Jackson's health are a total fabrication," he said.

Although, of course, last month when Jackson's people told the High Court that he was too unwell to travel to give evidence, back then he was seriously unwell. Since then he's got so much better, though. Fighting fit.

Rate 08: This year just gone: April 2008

Keith Richards had trouble making an autobiography from the few scraps of his life he could remember. As if drugs aren't bad enough, the Daily Mail found rap songs mentioned them. Everyone else got upset by Mark E Smith claiming to kill red squirrels, but not so upset as they were by naked pictures of Miley Cyrus. So upset the papers had to keep running them, again and again.

Heathrow's Terminal Five opened and celebrated by losing everyone's bags and Calvin Harris' new album, supposedly. Lily Allen left the Orange Book Prize judging panel while H From Steps tried to get a judge thrown off the circuit, although not quickly enough to save Pete Doherty from going back inside. Where - if you believe Gordon Smart - Doherty 'turned to Islam'. Mitch Winehouse wanted Amy sectioned.

Although they weren't blaming Jay-Z, Glastonbury had so many tickets unsold it had to reopen ticket registration. Also in difficulties was Bez, bankrupt again. Who was to blame for the fuss over Bryan Ferry and his admiration for aspects of Nazi aesthetics? Why, political correctness, of course. As angry as Ferry was Pete Wentz - why, he thundered does everyone start thinking Ashlee Simpson is pregnant just because they got married? It's a witchunt. (Ashlee gave birth in the middle of November.)

A new direction for the NME started with, erm, a Coldplay giveaway. And a tussle with Morrissey, who seemed to imply that the paper had yanked sponsorship from an anti-racism gig.

Carphone Warehouse told the BPI it wouldn't be the music industry's policeman so the music industry tried to ban second hand dealers selling promos instead. Oh, and to stop Shirley Manson from releasing her solo debut.

As Subpop turned 20, Captains Of Industry stopped putting out records, perhaps in response to the release of Chanelle off Big Brother's debut single.

New Kids On The Block declared their reunion 'better than Christmas'. Boyzone came back, only this time they were going to be sexier, they threatened. Lloyd Grossman had no need to sex up Jet Brox's return. The Specials decided to see if they could still play before committing to a reunion. Phil Collins retired, or so he promised.

Madonna and Guy Ritchie apparently took their Blackberries to bed, thereby turning a communications device into a communications breakdown. Heather Mills paid the price for taking on Paul McCartney - Yoko Ono wanted to be her friend. Liverpool discovered the fear of Yoko's embrace, too. At least that didn't cost them as much as the tax payer's cash poured into propping up Macca At Anfield.

Ofcom scolded the BBC for letting Snoop Dogg swear during Live Earth, despite Jonathan Ross' attempts to apologise. If Jonathan Ross can't keep a broadcast on the straight and narrow, what hope is there for anyone?

Monday, December 22, 2008

Punk'd: MTV slices workforce

MTV is axing 10% of its UK workforce under orders from Viacom.

That's going to be tricky for the company at a time when it believes its future is in 'made' programmes rather than showing videos, output which requires rather more staff members than fewer. Unless, of course, they just lob on lots more of the dismal American programming.

Long tail wagging a dog?

The popular belief in the the long tail might be a bit of a myth, reckons a couple of new surveys.

The idea, of course, is that the value of digital sales lays in everything selling a little, rather than a few big hits. But is that what's happening?

UK music royalty collector MCPS-PRS says only 173,000 albums were bought through 2007 from a total of 1.23 million available; that means only 14 percent ever got a sale.

This, though, misses the obvious: one of the great joys of digital sales is that you don't have to buy entire albums, as you're free to abandon the concept of bundles of tracks and just buy the songs you want. Offering the lack of old albums as proof that the long tail doesn't work is like suggesting failure to sell cans of baked beans shows that restaurants don't have success at selling food.
This is a small update (via Times Online) to a study the organisation’s economist Will Page presented in November, which found, in the singles market, only about three million of 13 million available were bought, and 80 percent of sales came from 52,000 tracks.

That presentation and subsequent interviews is worth a close look. Page claims he was inspired by Chris Anderson's original theory, but with a but:
Given the clear relevance of collecting societies to the ‘long tail’ debate, I was surprised to see so little mention of them in Chris’s book - or the blogs that followed. For example, our US equivalents’ ASCAP and BMI don’t appear once in the book’s index.

Can you hear the wounded pride there? Even although there's no earthly reason why the collection societies should have appeared in the book - it's like the manager of Watford Gap services moaning that they didn't get a look-in in a Department Of Transport green paper.

Indeed, it's arguable that it was better for the collection agencies to be left out of the book - as a world in which the shape of music sales is very different probably requires a very different sort of royalty collection system than one designed to cope with a few radio stations and physical records being sold clustered around Top 40 releases. In fact, it would be perfect for those old-world collection agencies if they could pour cold water on the very idea of a long tail...
I was pleased to see The Register picked up on the role of a collecting society, an institution that receives surprisingly little coverage in Long Tail debate, yet has pioneered the creation of long tail markets for musical copyright through patent pooling and blanket licensing for almost a century.

... or at least try and pretend that it's always been doing the long tail thing.

Will Page offers some statistical 'evidence':
For example, we found that only 20% of tracks in our sample were ‘active’, that is to say they sold at least one copy, and hence, 80% of the tracks sold nothing at all. Moreover, approximately 80% of sales revenue came from around 3% of the active tracks. Factor in the dormant tail and you’re looking at a 80/0.38% rule for all the inventory on the digital shelf.

That would seem to remove the long tail as surely as Owl removed Eeyore's. Having said that, though, there's a question of methodology, and expectation? What period was Page looking at? What market? No proponent of the long tail would suggest that everything would be purchased by someone in the UK in any given period, and it would be pretty easy to disprove (or prove) the existence of the long tail by setting the parameters carefully.

That's not to say Page is wrong. Indeed, on his own terms, he's right. He just might be looking at the wrong things, or the right things the wrong way. First rule of any numbers dragged from the internet is that they almost certainly won't be counting the things that anyone you share them with will assume they're counting.

One thing that does make me nervous about Page's figures is that he also claims that peer to peer filesharing is equally built on hits rather than long tail - using the large number of 'illegal' downloads of In Rainbows as evidence:
My hunch, based on the evidence we presented in that paper (pointing out the 2.3 million illegal downloads of Raidohead’s new album when it was also available ‘for free’ on their own website), is that the black market is even more hit-centric.

Actually, that proves nothing more than (as I've argued before) 'if you tell people they can get an album for free, people who might not normally use an "illegal" route to obtain music will feel comfortable hitting the torrents. Building a theory about online activity on the basis of the performance of an anomalous release is a curious route.

So: is there a long tail? The clue is in the name - we won't know until we've had the experience of a long run.

Downloadable: The Hours & Calvin Harris

RCRD LBL sharing more of the festive love: grab a free copy of The Hours' See The Light with a spot of Calvin Harris remixage.

Will Young offers to bring his experience of, erm, stuff to Question Time

I can just about understand the tendency by Question Time to bring hip young things who appeal to younger audiences onto the panel. I can get why someone might be invited on because they have a unique and expert perspective on subjects of popular debate.

I can't, for the life of me, work out which of these criteria would qualify Will Young for a seat, though.

Rate 08: This year just gone: March 2008

With a massive overdraft to support, "our headliners aren't that big" explained Michael Eavis, in the face of low Glastonbury registrations. Ticketmaster disappointed dozens by screwing up tickets for Westlife's Liverpool gig and Ashlee Simpson didn't turn up drunk for a morning radio show.

Andy Abraham had the UK's Eurovision hopes pinned on his shoulders, what with Morrissey and Radiohead having let us down again. Holy Fuck managed to catch the eye of Rachel Ray. Simon Cowell was punting a movie about Paul Potts that, to date, remains unmade. Perhaps he could do one about Shayne Ward instead; he's apparently huge overseas.

The Evening Standard was angry about Norman Baker MP slipping Shed Seven song references into parliamentary speeches; The Daily Mail confidently predicted Paul McCartney was funding the divorce of Heather Mills by putting The Beatles on iTunes. Let's hope Heather's not waiting on that cash. Madonna, it turned out, wasn't buying a pub and certainly wasn't endorsing Ken Linvingstone.

There were rumours that Channel 4 was cooling on the idea of launching radio stations. As GCap and Global merged, XFM dumped its disastrous no DJ daytime policy while Cadbury decided Joss Stone was the perfect person to push Flakes. Gordon Smart worried that Robbie Williams was wasting his life looking for aliens - more fulfillingly, Keith Richards had turned to The Bible

Mike Read really had taken to making models of Brighton out of sweeties. An attempted stunt to launch a web company, claiming to swap festival tickets for sperm, was too transparent to succeed - although it could have made a good subplot for How I Met Your Mother, which invited Britney for a guest appearance.

The Daed 60s got round to confirming their split and the Dead Kennedys lost their latest singer. Queen haven't had their singer around for years, but decided to make a new record anyway. 50 Cent desperately tried to come up with a reason for why his record did so badly.

Gary Numan wasn't about to resurrect his old stuff, he insisted in the week Tubeway Army records got a re-release, although with Free Kitten making a new album and Toni Halliday back, who cared?

"Actually, I never really liked John Kerry" revealed Dave Grohl, while Suzanne Shaw was asked if she was backing Obama or Clinton: she came on like Sarah Palin. Courtney Love gave her blessing to a pair of pumps in tribute to Kurt while Puma made do with Paolo Nutini.

Mother Jones created an Imeem playlist featuring the tracks US troops used to torture their prisoners. Not, of course, that the risks of casual acceptance of torture could ever be as bad for a society as some rude words on Never Mind The Buzzcocks.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Hush now, plagiarist claimers

In more YouTube take-down madness, EMI has been flexing its muscles forcing the site to remove videos comparing Joe Satriani's If I Could Fly with Coldplay's Viva La Vida. Because, you know, the person who put the Coldplay music online hadn't asked, and that makes it stealing - and it's really, really bad to steal intellectual property.

Unless, of course, you haven't really stolen it and it's just a coincidence. Perhaps the people who made the video could try and claim a coincidence defence. It's no more unlikely than Chris Martin using it to explain why his song sounds so much like Satriani's.

Let's just stress, though, that EMI are only worried about the copyright and not at all panicky at the financial implications if Satriani wins his plagiarism case.

That's all folks: Warners yanks stuff from YouTube

Warner Music have whacked all their videos off YouTube, over that most Warneresque of obessions, a belief that they're not getting the amount of money they should be. They've released a statement:

“We are working actively to find a resolution with YouTube that would enable the return of our artists’ content to the site,” Warner said in a statement. “Until then, we simply cannot accept terms that fail to appropriately and fairly compensate recording artists, songwriters, labels and publishers for the value they provide."

Given that nobody is making much money off web video, it's not immediately apparent why Warners think they're being sold short (and, interestingly, I can't seem to find anything which shows Warners sharing any of the money they've got from the Google video site with their artists); presumably they know that all they're doing is guaranteeing that their artists will miss out on the exposure to the YouTube audience while their videos will appear on other, less engaged sites with no money at all flowing back to them.

Rate 08: This year just gone: February 2008

Pete Townshend's daughter, Emma worried there might be too little pop memorabilia for the next generation to collect. Indeed, with Sony switching off the DRM for Connect customers, it was looking possible there might not be any tunes for the next generation to collect, either. The Liverpool Echo attempted to have a moment, launching an Atomic Kitten cover of a Cilla Black song to start Capital of Culture year with a new Liverpool number one. They settled for a number 77. BBC Three tried to blend the internet and pop stars and came up with Lily Allen and Friends and The Guardian took on Beth Ditto as an agony aunt.

The Kaiser Chiefs attempted to fight Heathrow's third runway while helping promote SilverJet's services, which seemed as confused as Gordon Smart's pledge to leave Amy Winehouse alone while holding her life up to critical daylight. At least Britney Spears could count on the support of Brian May.

Shifting schedules: R Kelly was so busy with one court case he missed another, generating a third; The Spice Girls dropped a bunch of tour dates from the reunion in order to allow the tour to finish before they killed each other. The Police also decided that their reunion had run its course.

Undettered by Cliff Richard's dismissal of the Mop Tops, NASA started to play Beatles songs into outer space, which is no less likely than plans for Jay-Z on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury. Or, indeed, Ireland entering a turkey puppet into Eurovision - which, unfortunately, Dana failed to see any funny side to.

Boston told Huckabee to stop playing their tunes but, perhaps inspired by Neil Young deciding that music can change the world after all, Obama accepted some help from Mark Ronson while the RIAA showed its concern for artists by suggesting songwriters get paid less but at least Avril Lavigne was forced to u-turn on plans to get dancers for free. The UN threw a little party to promote Madonna's Kabbalah friends and Gucci and somehow help poor children. Camden Market caught fire and No Depression closed down.

From The Jam - the non-Weller bits of The Jam - decided to record some new stuff, still without Weller, while Freakpower reunited without Norman Cook. And Led Zeppelin had their reunion announced by journalists who misread another band's name. It was going to take a court to decide if the new Gene Loves Jezebel was the real thing. Art Brut released a single which turned out to be bogus. The Was (Not Was) who got together were (not weren't) genuine, though.

The curious tale of how it was that an artist called Lennon came to be so convinced that Yoko was trying to stop her using her own name that Julian Lennon took up her cause was never quite fully explained. It was quite clear, though, that Will Smith wasn't a big fan of Hitler. Not a fan at all. David Cameron likes Thom Yorke so much he somehow tried to replicate In Rainbows as a Tory marketing stunt. George Martin figured the time was right to apologise to Pete Best for helping get the heave-ho from the Beatles.

NME announced yet another revamp as the pop press readership vanished. On radio, GCap dropped its DAB adventures and stuck much of XFM up for sale while Lesley Douglas fought popular opinion to insist that actually people were loving George Lamb's programme on 6Music - and nobody could ever fault Douglas' judgement. Microsoft's romantic Valentine's Day Zune was only slightly ruined by turning up late while MySpace announced new plans to take control of music online.

David Walliams and Russell Brand made themselves look a bit stupid during a Morrissey gig. A clear message that Brand needs a careful eye if you want to keep him out of trouble.