What Mozzer wants: "if a Mercedes S-500 is not available, then a Lexus, BMW or Jaguar will also be accepted"
Morrissey's rider for his date in Israel has appeared on the Ynet website. It's quite an eye-opener:
Didn't you always know it?
For those of us whose Hebrew is, at best, rusty, Morrissey Solo has got a translation. Some of the detail is suprising:
Blimey - Morrissey in a Lexus. A black one, mind. Now, we can understand the desire for a driver, and can even see the wish for a certain level of comfort (although a grudging 'a Jaguar will do' is a bit of a stretch). But insisting on the colour? Isn't that going a little far?
The food requests are fairly reasonable - although providing a photo of the brand of butter is a wee bit anal. Talking of which:
Morrissey: You Are Not Kenneth Williams. Share the bloody toilet.
Of course, rumours about the rules on food have circulated for years. Now, we know they're pretty much all true:
Oh, pity the poor soul who is charged with ensuring that, should the wind change, the artists all be moved to the other side of the building from the smell of cooking hamburgers.
It's not clear if this is because the smell of searing flesh is so offensive to Morrissey, or because the odour of hot dogs present a delicious challenge to his principles. We've been veggie for two decades, but oh, the smell of frying bacon still whispers 'surely one pig... wouldn't be so very bad...'
All that spicy foreign muck, as my great aunt used to say.
Woe betide you if you try to sneak in a Peparami.
Finally, though, it's all about the love:
Not, though, so much respect that you can share his crapper. There are limits.