Allen refuses to be a role model

In the latest slurry of confused thinking from Lily Allen, she's - supposedly - turned down an offer to "design" a range of maternity wear because she's "not the best example":

"I've had a lot of offers from people to do my own maternity range but I don't think it is the right message to send to young Britain. I'm not the best example. I'm pregnant and a bit young, aren't I? My demographic is generally young girls, so I don't think a maternity line is suitable. It isn't the best impression to give them."

This seems to imply that Allen thinks that you're not setting an example until you've been paid to do some work - so, the actual pregnancy is neither here not there, but the kids won't be affected providing you don't pop up doing a photo shoot in Top Shop.

Mozzer helps the lads

As if to demonstrate that, you know, he's not such a grumpy old man, Morrissey has given twenty grand to Salford Lads' Club. Like the secret millionaire did in The Secret Millionaire, but without hanging about the place pretending not to be a millionaire. The club - which featured on a Smiths record sleeve despite not being Pat Phoenix or someone like that - is currently in the midst of a massive fund-raising drive to repair the fabric of the building.

Gordon Brown has time on his hands

It's nice to know that Gordon Brown had the time to send a note to Rhydiann. Downing Street refuse to say what was in the note - a "personal matter:, apparently - but we suspect it might be based on some sort of understanding what it's like to take second place to a bland but more charming man.

Gordon in the morning: Genius steals - and Doherty thinks he's a genius

To be fair, Gordon's column this morning does lead with a fairly alright-of-its-type slushy Rhys Ifans/Sienna Miller story - apparently Sienna's having an "age crisis". She's about to turn 26.

Even more surprisingly, there's a strong, almost journalistic piece, which reports that Pete Doherty seems to have lifted lyrics for a track on Shotter's Nation from a song by the Britanarchists. Oh, and the song, Baddie's Boogie, might also have had its music ripped off from Babyshambles' Mik Whitnall's former Ferryman bandmate Wayne Kenyon.

Now, it could all be down to coincidence, or maybe even homage. But Babyshambles' people seem to be somewhat reluctant to discuss the issue.

So, yes, two actual stories in Bizarre. Wonder if Gordon's on holiday.

How did you spend Christmas, Shane McGowan?

You have to feel a pang of sympathy for Shane McGowan. Having reached his 50th birthday - against, it should be noted, enormous odds - on Christmas Day, he might have expected some praise. A reassessment of his career. Perhaps a South Bank Show special.

Instead, he ended up doing this. On his 50th Birthday. On TV:



And we know it's possibly being a little over-sensitive, but is it really all that funny to replace a woman who died in the sea with a person dressed up as a beluga whale?

Punish Winehouse for drug use? The Norwegian would...

As if her legal troubles in Britain weren't bad enough, now the Norwegian drug possession case which everyone thought had been settled through a swift fine payment is flaring up again: she's been summoned to appear before a Norwegian court in February. Assuming, of course, she's not already having to deal with fall-out from the whole Blake-perverting-justice business. Nobody seems entirely sure why the Norwegian court wants Winehouse back, but we bet Bergen can't wait for the economic miniboost of the paparazzos and journos turning up en masse.

Albarn: celebrity culture is bad

Damon Albarn has launched a stinging attack on celebrity culture:

The current celebrity culture "sends out all the wrong messages", he said.

"I think it's creating a mindset that suggests you can get something for nothing and that it's easy to acquire status and fame."

The power of his message might only be slightly weakened by his platform, which was an edition of Today which he had been invited to edit due to, erm, his celebrity status.

Merry Christmas...

... to, as they used to say in The Beano at this time of year, all our readers.

Christmas in 1987: Best singles, part two - top ten

10. I Am The Law - Anthrax



9. April Skies - Jesus And Mary Chain



8. Prime Mover - Zodiac Mindwarp And The Love Reaction



7. Here I Go Again - Whitesnake

Embeding made impossible by Geffen records

6. With Or Without You - U2



5. Animal - Def Leppard

Embedding made impossible by Universal records

4. Baby Turpentine - Crazyhead

3. True Faith - New Order



2. What Gives You The Idea That You're So Amazing Baby - Crazyhead

1. This Corrosion - Sisters Of Mercy



[Part of Christmas in 1987]

Xfm hires Berry

We might be getting confused as festive cheer starts to sink down over our ears, but is it a traditional career curve to move from a company's mainstream network to the younger, more left-field sister station?

Increasingly so at GCap, it seems. Richard Bacon did it - and now Dave Berry has been picked up by XFM after being dropped from Capital.

Apple tells iPods 'hush now'

The Daily Telegraph is quite excited about Apple's newly filed patent which will allow iP