Well, Rhydian, you should know

Hey, guess what? One of the least popstar like people ever to waste Saturday evenings, Rhydian, is really thinking standards have slipped down at the X Factor:

"I don't think any of them are in Leona Lewis's league to be honest," he said.

"Jedward were one of the best things in the show talent-wise. At least they were entertaining. I was surprised they went last week - I thought another little young lad would have gone! Lloyd Daniels is making it through by the skin of his teeth each week."

To be frank, Leona Lewis' league isn't really that much of a standards bar, is it? Sure, you fell short, Rhydian, but it's a league that suggests men playing on a park pitch rather than in front of a crowd of millions.

The really sad thing is that Rhydian is clearly only sharing his "expert" opinion to promote his new album, which is available at all supermarkets, and will remain so until the returns van comes round just after Christmas.

Gordon in the morning: Watched telly. Got up.

In common with other papers, Gordon Smart has got very excited about the Williams story, turning the top story over to something he's read on the internet. The rest of Bizarre this morning is fairly typical: there's something from another part of the paper about Cowell telling Britney to go home to her mother; a story which seems to be "I saw Alesha Dixon on the television" and a photo of Rhydian off the X Factor, which is borderline bullying:

ALABASTER X Factor flop RHYDIAN ROBERTS – or, as I like to call him, ROBOKNOB – beamed down to make his first public appearance, eight days into his Mexican getaway.

Earthlings appeared terrified upon seeing the excessively muscled albino pop oddball clasping a rugby ball.

Why would you call someone Roboknob because they've got pale skin? Why would being albinoesque make you a robot? Am I missing something?

Gordon Brown has time on his hands

It's nice to know that Gordon Brown had the time to send a note to Rhydiann. Downing Street refuse to say what was in the note - a "personal matter:, apparently - but we suspect it might be based on some sort of understanding what it's like to take second place to a bland but more charming man.

Talent shows are sources of discontent

It's bad - by which we mean amusing - enough that The X Factor result has already been called into question by claims that the phone system collapsed allowing Leon Jackson to edge out Leland Palmer (Rhydian Roberts) and claim the right to ruin the Christmas charts. Ofcom is looking into it - although, surely anyone stupid enough to trust ITV to run a properly managed phone-vote after the year they've had probably deserves to be fleeced - and some Welsh radio stations are going to boycott Jackson's single until there's a recount.

A gathering conspiracy base is suggesting that Welsh voters were more likely to encounter an engaged tone than voters elsewhere, doing down the boy from the valleys. Talkback Thames have denied any such thing would have happened, pledging that, erm, actually, they're just incapable of putting a system in place which would count all the votes.

Meanwhile, in America, Light of Doom are claiming they've been kicked off The Next Great American Band because the organisers more-or-less bounced them in to having big drums on a cover version of We Will Rock You. They don't seem to have thought that, perhaps, the problem would be covering Queen rather than the nature of the cover.

Actually, they have thought of that, claiming they didn't want to do it in the first place. It's a pity, actually: a bunch of guys who are happy to be pushed around so much would have been a delight for the major labels to mould.