Katy Perry: Putting the 'part' into 'bipartisan'

You know, the hardest thing for the Obama White House - besides the questions about the way their drones keep raining death down on the heads of people thousands of miles away - is trying to navigate the deep rift between the parties in America.

Still, the inauguration is a good time to try and overcome those divisions, isn't it? To remember that Obama is the nation's president, not just a Democratic president. That's why its a cultural event as much as a political one, and why singers like Katy Perry are invited along. To be inclusive. After all, if Perry's family can straddle a political fault line, why can't America, right?

Hang on, what's that, Perry?

Pop star Katy Perry, who will be featured on the cover of the January 2014 issue of Marie Claire, told the magazine that she refused to allow her parents to watch her sing at President Obama’s inauguration “on principle,” and because they are Republicans.

“My parents are Republicans, and I’m not. They didn’t vote for Obama, but when I was asked to sing at the inauguration, they were like, ‘We can come.’ And I was like, ‘No, you can’t,’” she told the magazine.

Yes. Because the idea of someone who didn't vote for Obama not attending one of his inaugurations is impossible to even conceive, isn't it?

George W Bush zings back at Kanye

Kanye West might think he's fast with a line, but he wasn't counting on George W Bush, who has shot back at West's 'Bush doesn't care about black people' jibe just, erm, five years after it happened.

Bush has written a book - I know, bless - and he's currently trying to promote it to anyone who might have some money left after he'd crapped the US economy into a junkyard. On a tour to promote the book, Bush brought up West while talking to Matt Lauer:

'He called me a racist', Mr Bush said on the primetime special.

When Lauer clarified that West said, 'George Bush doesn't care about black people', Mr Bush reiterated that to him those words meant West was claiming, 'he's a racist'.

Meanings of words, George? That was never really your strong suit when you were President, was it?

'And I didn't appreciate it then. I don't appreciate it now', Mr Bush continued.

Actually, I don't think West was even dignifying you with being racist, George - at least a racist might have been engaging with Hurricane Katrina; West was suggesting you didn't even think it worth your time to think about.

'It's one thing to say, "I don't appreciate the way he's handled his business". It's another to say, "This man's a racist". I resent it, it's not true and it was one of the most disgusting moments in my presidency.

In the book he wrote: 'The suggestion that I was racist because of the response to Hurricane Katrina represented an all-time low'.

Well, there's some common ground between Bush and West; both thought the episode was the low of the Bush presidency, just for different reasons.

But it wasn't really West that made people think you didn't give two hoots for the poor of Louisiana, George. It was more the sitting about on your hands not doing anything while people were drowning, and then the not-saying-anything when the residents of New Orleans were being treated as hostile as they tried to survive in their own city. That sort of thing.

By the way, this passage from the Mail's report on the Bush book is also quite priceless:

Mr Bush also reveals in Decision Points that he stands firm on his decision to invade Iraq, resents being accused of lying about WMDs and even considered dropping Dick Cheney from his 2004 campaign to 'demonstrate that I was in charge'.

The idea to replace Cheney was prompted in 2003 during a private lunch with the former vice president who offered to drop out of the race.

So Bush was going to show how much he was in charge by, erm, accepting the suggestion of the Vice President that he step aside. That's decideration in action right there.

The illustrated Hello: Little Richard

I guess the oddest thing about Little Richard announcing his plans to retire this year is the discovering that he's not yet 70. I suppose because it feels like he's been around forever, if you'd asked me when I didn't have Google to hand I'd have put him at at least half a decade over that.

Little Richard, then. You don't need me to tell you about him, do you?

He's kept himself busy recently - he even had a job helping the former President get his message across:



[From The Daily Show, of course.]

But this is him doing what he does best - no, not losing members of his backing band to James Brown:



[Part of the Illustrated Hello]

Bono: a shaky grasp on the past

There's much in Sean O'Hagan's interview with Bono in today's Observer Music Magazine, and if you were judging him on the basis of a singer in a rock and roll band, you'd probably be content with the breadth of his knowledge. But given that he's shaping public policy, his lack of understanding and glib grasp is a little worrying. Take this, for example:

It's a scary and an amazing time. Look, the world is waking up again. Not to get too grandiose on your ass, but there are shifts that always happen after a major crisis. So, after the First World War, the League of Nations; after the Second World War, the United Nations. The IMF, the World Bank, all came about after periods of crisis. And after 9/11, the Iraq dabacle, and the market meltdown of the last year, I think this is the moment when actually everything is up for grabs. It's like Bob Dylan says on Brownsville Girl [he breaks into a Dylan impersonation]: 'If there's an original idea out there right now, I could use it [laughs].' And there are original ideas out there, that's the thing."

You could just about accept "not to get too grandiose on your ass", I suppose, but when it's the most coherent part of the sentence, you might choose not to. "There's always shifts after a major crisis"? What does that mean? Is he suggesting that The League Of Nations was a good thing, despite it being a terrible, terrible failure which helped bring about the Second World War, while simultaneously allowing Africa to remain a playground for the Western Imperial powers? And wasn't, really, the Second World War the real shift that followed the First World War?

More closer to now, is Bono trying to smear together the terrorist attacks on September 11th, 2001, the Iraq "debacle" (I wonder if he ever called it that when he was hanging with George Bush) and the global financial meltdown into one, single, event? How does that make sense - after all, the global reaction to September 11th was almost in complete contrast to the global reaction to the invasion of Iraq?

O'Hagan asks Bono if he ever thinks he's being played:

"I don't care if I get the results. You have to judge me only by the results. If there were no results and you saw a picture of me hanging out with George Bush or Tony Blair or whoever, that would be a different matter. But if you see a picture of me and Bush and two years later you hear people saying 'How on earth did a conservative administration start the largest response to the Aids emergency yet?' I understand why people threw tomatoes at me at the time but even the worst critics have stopped."

Even the worst critics have stopped? Bloody hell, Bono, even you and Geldof were criticising world leaders for not doing enough last year. And you're hardly anywhere near your harshest critic.

It is true that Bush did support Africa more deeply than Clinton. But the evangelical edicts which came with much of the AIDs initiative money, like the Abortion Global Gag Rule, did a lot of harm, leading to the closure of clinics and making it harder for some people to receive condoms and sex education - so the funding of HIV drugs has to be seen in the context of the work Bush helped do to fuel the HIV crisis at the same time. And while Bono might think that it was his golfing trips at Gleneagles that swung the attention the Bush White House gave, especially in the second term, it's more likely that result of the Chinese rush to access the agricultural, energy and strategic value of African nations. For while there's been some Bono-pleasing health investment, Bush was building up AFRICOM. But perhaps Bono sees Africom as simply another body in the mould of the LON, the UN and the IMF.

So, O'Hagan asks, did Bono keep his opposition quiet in return for access to the White House?

"No, it's more that I don't make a song and dance about my criticism. Everyone in the White House knows where I stood on the war. In the run up and when it was just about to happen, I had many conversations where I expressed my feelings. But I felt I had to focus on this one thing which was, don't make a deal on extreme poverty. Make it truly colourless politically. It was the power of one clear idea. And it succeeded. And it was very, very difficult, and there was a lot of hand-holding, hours and hours, weeks and weeks, meeting after meeting after meeting, trying to get people not to play politics with the world's poor. And for me to alienate people who, to be fair to them, were often sending their sons to Iraq I just felt, I don't want to be shouting my mouth off about this war when really I have a chance, along with other people, of achieving for the first time broad political consensus on this one hugely important single issue of Africa and aid."

Aaah - it would have been too confusing for Bono to criticise the war publicly while campaigning on global poverty. Although, erm, somehow it wasn't too confusing for him to make his anti-war feelings known behind closed doors? That makes sense. It would have been distracting for us to know, but not for the administration.

Still, it's all in the past now. Bono is busily recalibrating his non-partisan stance into being surprisingly Democrat-friendly:

The amount of U2 fans who supported [Obama]! The young U2 fanbase were really active in the campaign. Though the One campaigners are from every political colour, an enormous amount of them were also campaigning for Obama."

Sadly, there are no questions about Bono's property developments, nor about U2's tax status. But then, you can't get everything in, can you?

U2: Dissent in the ranks

Hey, it turns out it's not just us who worries about the people Bono rubs shoulders with. Larry Mullen isn't that comfortable, either:

Although he says he admires his bandmate for his achievements on the world stage – which he says will be “his legacy”, as well as his his voice and lyrics he adds: “My biggest problem really is sometimes the company that he keeps. And I struggle with that. Particularly the political people, less the financial people. Particularly Tony Blair – I mean, I think Tony Blair’s a war criminal. And I think he should be tried as a war criminal. And then I see Bono and him as pals, and I’m going: 'I don’t like that'.

He said Bono "would know how I feel about Tony Blair". Mullen said he understood why the singer had cosied up to President Bush. "George Bush has been very generous to his cause … the difference between him and Tony Blair is that Blair is intelligent. So he has no excuse for what he did. Whereas I think George Bush could find a few excuses for his behaviour.

It's admirably outspoken and honest of Mullen to say that in public - although it's hard to see why he's any more relaxed about the financial chums of Bono.

Bono, of course, has an explanation for why he rubs shoulders with Bush:

“It was embarrassing for the band. Edge always tells me, 'You’re an artist, remember that. You’re not a politician'. But if you’ve looked into the face of a mother whose daughter or son has died in their arms for no good reason, they don’t know or care who’s President of America. It’s something that once you’re a witness to, you can’t get it out of your head and so you don’t take shit on their behalf."

And that's a fair point - if you have the access, you should use it to push for good. Trouble is, Bono seemed to always be popping up to help Bush - photo-ops, stressing what a good job he was doing. And, indeed, the only time Bono seems to criticise his famous chums is when their period of power is coming to an end. It might be easier to believe that Bono is using his unique position to forward the needs of the many if the people with whom he met seemed more like they found the meetings awkward, rather than so much great fun.

Forget about that suitcase: Bush pardons John Forte

George Bush has pardoned John Forte, hip-hop artist and occasional Fugee colaborator as part of his Presidential winding-up.

Forte was convicted for his part in a case involving a suitcase stuffed with what police called a million dollars' worth of cocaine (so, probably worth about a third of that, using a general rule of thumb); Forte has always maintained that he believed the offending suitcase to be stuffed with cash rather than drugs. He's served seven years of a fourteen year sentence. His pardon may have something to do with his friends - Carly Simon has campaigned for him - rather than a willingness on the part of George Bush to look kindly on convicted drug dealers generally.

Ricky Martin changes his colors

One of the big supporters of George Bush is now hoping we'll forget all that, as Ricky Martin throws his weight behind Hillary Clinton:

"These elections will have historic repercussions both in the United States and the world. Senator Clinton has always been consistent in her commitment with the needs of the Latino community," Martin said in a statement released by the Clinton campaign. The former First Lady stated in a press release she feels "honored to have Ricky Martin's support. He is a very important voice in the Latino community and together we will work to improve the lives of families and children across the country."

It might be unfair to suggest that Martin's sudden discovery of what a lot of good work the Democrats do is down to a sniffing of a change in the political wind. Let's just hope people don't keep mentioning that Martin played Bush's inauguration.

Dave Grohl's political corner

So, it turns out that Dave Grohl's support for John Kerry at the last US elections wasn't entirely wholehearted:

During the last election I supported John Kerry on the campaign trail not as the guy from the Foo Fighters but as a citizen concerned about the future of this country. I did it because the Bush campaign was using some of our music at their rallies, and I didn't feel like the songs they were using made sense in the context of the message he was delivering. I couldn't stop them from using them; there's legally nothing really you can do. So I thought, Well, I'll go out and sing those songs at Kerry rallies, where they seem to make more sense -- songs about love and hope and compassion.

Oddly, he doesn't then go on to explain about his motivation behind playing gis in support of campaigners who claimed that HIV and AIDs were unrelated. Perhaps he'd heard some people with actual medical knowledge playing his songs and wanted to counterweigh against that.

George Michael - vindicated

Karl T brings the toe-curling appearance of Tony Blair in George Bush's video about his dog, with the following observation:

You might remember the hissy fits thrown in certain circles when George Michael's video for 'Wag the Dog' cast Tony Blair as George Bush's pet dog.

This was of course, totally untrue. Tony Blair is in fact George Bush's pet dog's confidant/mentor. I know it's Christmas and everything, but for fuck's sake...

Whoever knew that Michael was over-estimating the importance of Blair to the Bush government? It is just one step away from being held in a cage dangling from the ceiling of a psychopath's sky-boat, isn't it?

Bono's friends: It's tough at the top

Rolling Stone are granted an opportunity to fawn over Bono, and naturally treat him with the sort of kid gloves he grants to his chums in Washington. The most interesting thing about the Rolling Stone interview is the subtle, early attempt to reposition himself, ready for a change in the 2008 White House. He's not a friend of Bush, he's a friend of America, you see.

So, what about Iraq, then?

There was a plan there, you know. I think the president genuinely felt that if we could prove a model of democracy and broad prosperity in the Middle East, it might defuse the situation. I don't believe that, and in the capacity I had, I told them that.

[...]

I told Paul Wolfowitz, all of them, to go ask the British army what it's like to stand on street corners and get shot at. Remember that during the British army's first years on the streets of Northern Ireland, they were applauded by the Catholic minority. Go look at that, and ask yourself how that all got turned around.

It was always going to go wrong. I remember in the first moments after "shock and awe," I was watching it at home with [my wife] Ali and I said, "These people have just hidden their guns in the basement, took off their uniforms and come out waving American flags. And they've been told to. They knew this was coming, and they know what they're doing."

[...]
So you mentioned this to Wolfowitz. Who else did you say this to? Did you say it to Tony Blair?

I said it in all my conversations. To Condi. To Karl Rove. I did not discuss it with President Bush. I try to stick to my pitch, and it's an abuse of my access for me to switch subjects. But I'm a lippy Irish rock star, and I'm more used to putting my foot in my mouth than my fist. So occasionally I'm just going to talk about it.

We're a little lost as to why Bono felt he could talk about Iraq with Rove and Rice, but not with Bush - what would make that an "abuse of access"? Or did Condi and Karl encourage Bono to chat with them on their Arabic adventure?

You'll notice Bono sidesteps the direct question about Blair.

Of course, this also contrdicts what Bono, erm, told Rolling Stone a couple of years back when he suggested that he didn't discuss Iraq on his trips to seats of government:

He said he’s made it clear that he doesn’t support the war in Iraq, but he doesn’t campaign against it because his main priority is helping the poor and disadvantaged.

“I work for them,” Bono said. “If me not shooting my mouth off about the war in Iraq is the price I pay, then I’m prepared to pay it.”

It's also fascinating that - in the current version of things, Bono suggests that he was tirelessly working against the war on Iraq, but only in secret.

But that's besides the point, of course, because Bono then goes on the endorse the lie of linking the War On Iraq with Al-Qaeda:

I want to be very, very clear, however: I understand and agree with the analysis of the problem. There is an imminent threat. It manifested itself on 9/11. It's real and grave. It is as serious a threat as Stalinism and National Socialism were. Let's not pretend it isn't.

So how did a war against a country without a significant Al-Qaeda presence fit with a threat which "manifested itself" on September 11th?

Even The White House has given up on that one.

But then Bono probably doesn't live in the same world as the rest of us:

It is utterly accepted in the U.S. and Europe that you cannot live a life of peace and prosperity if at the end of your avenue there are hungry people without clean water, losing their children because they cannot access a twenty-cent vaccine or dying for the lack of drugs we have falling out of our medicine cabinets.

Really? "Utterly accepted", is it? Then why was George Bush happy to veto the bill which would have provided free healthcare to ten million children at the very end of his street, lest it upset the insurance industry?

Bono, of course, has a thing for politicians:

Just being in D.C., and meeting all the people I've met - I've now been going there for nearly ten years. They let me in their rooms and they listen to my rhetoric or invective or whatever it turns out to be. And I come away from that city not with nausea but with admiration. These people work like dogs. These lawmakers, they're trying to move between their families back home and Washington. All of them could make much more money in the private sector. Not all, but most of them are there for the right reasons. There's very little glamour. And they're listening to me, who's completely over-rewarded for what I do.

So, serving in Washington is a selfless, loss-making affair, is it?

Let's heed Bono's words, and appluad Ray Hunt, who selflessly serves on Bush's Foreign Intelligence Advisory Board, bravely sacrificing time he could spend overseeing Hunt Oil's interests in exploiting the Iraqi oilfields.

Let's applaud Dick Cheney, who scraped by on his simple Vice-President's salary while his former employer, Haliburton, somehow got loaded down with Iraqi "re"construction contracts. Oh, yes, the massive hike in share price might have helped a little, what with him holding getting on for half a million share options, but let's not forget that Cheney had "forgotten" those holdings when he told NBC he'd severed all ties with the company, so effectively, he probably thought he had forsaken all that cash.

Bono, there's no shame in loving power and money and even that faint whiff of corruption. Just don't keep playing us all for bloody idiots.

Joni Mitchell lights up

So, how did Joni Mitchell come to get her distinctive voice? Twenty a day, from middle school age, apparently:

"I have smoked since I was nine, so obviously it didn't affect my early work that much."

"I would grab my tobacco and get on my bike, looking for a beautiful place, a grove of trees or a field, and go amongst the bushes and smoke and that always gave me a sense of well being."

And now the government's taken away that innocent childhood pleasure, along with working up chimneys and heroin-filled chews in the pick'n'mix.

Still, Joni's still got her smoking, and she's still got fire in her belly:

"I was mad at America, mad at the government, mad at the people for not doing something about it. They were going to be so quick to impeach Clinton for kinky sex but slow to do something about Bush and his Nazi stormtroopers. All that loss of freedom and everybody just kind of oblivious. It's dumb and it's dangerous."

We're not sure that Clinton's sex was that kinky - maybe if he'd been wearing Lewinsky's dress, it'd have been heading in that direction, but otherwise it was as vanilla as it was illicit. And we're not sure that suggesting Bush has Nazi stormtroopers is entirely helpful, either - Bush is unpleasant enough in his own, untrammeled capitalism without having to throw Nazis into the mix. But we'd rather have Joni Mitchell being political than Duran self-censoring to avoid sounding "angry" any time. Especially in these times.

The Boss versus The President

Bruce Springsteen used an appearance on NBC yesterday morning to throw a little White House baiting onto the networks:

“This is a song called Livin’ In the Future. But it’s really about what’s happening now. Right now. It’s kind of about how the things we love about America, cheeseburgers, French fries, the Yankees battlin’ Boston… the Bill of Rights [holds up microphone, urging crowd to cheer] … v-twin motorcycles… Tim Russert’s haircut, trans-fats and the Jersey Shore… we love those things the way womenfolk love Matt Lauer.

But over the past six years we’ve had to add to the American picture: rendition, illegal wiretapping, voter suppression, no habeus corpus, the neglect of our great city New Orleans and its people, an attack on the Constitution. And the loss of our young best men and women in a tragic war."

When Fox claims that the US media is a liberal playground, you have to think how unusual something like this happening on television is to realise how paranoid they are.

Trouble is, Bush would have been too busy whooping to have heard the second half, but at least it's not Bono.

Bono prays for... something

To be fair, Bono seems to be one of the few in the rock world to actually bother to even mention the now-being-extinguished rebellion in Burma, so it'd be churlish to focus too closely on just how vapid his contribution has been:

"It is extraordinary to see the Buddhist monks isn't it? Their non-violence may, I pray, win out over the ugliness of the situation.

"There is jeopardy. I slept uneasily last night and I'm sure everyone else that watched did too."

It's hardly a clanging call to action, though, is it?

Bono says he admired the imprisoned pro-democracy leader Aung san Suu Kyi, adding, "I've always followed her progress and that of the Burmese people. "She is a study in grace and they are a study in patience."

Bono's support for Suu Kyi is, indeed, both in public record and on record: he wrote both the song Walk On and an article for Time in 2004 in her honour.

But what's noticeable is that Bono stops short of actually calling on the squatters in the Rangoon government to step aside; it's lovely to praise grace and patience - oh, so much patience - but where's the fire, Bono?

Indeed, rather than calling out the Chairman of the State Peace and Development Council, Bono takes the opportunity to once again heap praise on his friends at the heads of Western governments:

"In Britain, Gordon Brown has shown some leadership as has George Bush. Everyone should keep their fingers crossed and say your prayers for them."

The most important thing, then, is that Bush has come out of this looking good. Clearly.

50 Cent tries to enter politics

Presumably as part of his ongoing frustration at being bested by Kanye West at every turn, 50 Cent has had his people rustle up some political observations for him.

Cent has appeared to support the Iraq war in the past, popping over to help the troops keep their peckers up. Which makes his sudden conversion to being anti-war a little awkward:

"Me and George Bush were both born on July 6. He has less compassion than a regular human being.

"We are so different. I actually went to Iraq because I went to perform for the soldiers.

"Bush just sends people to war."

50 Cent, of course, is well known for his hatred of pointless violence and his disgust at the suggestion that guns and shooting and killing are cool and.... oh, hang on, he isn't, is he?

But turning to next year's elections, who does 50 Cent fancy?

"I'd like to see Hillary Clinton be president.

"It would be nice to see a woman be the actual president."

The actual president? As opposed to what, exactly? Are there fake lady Presidents we've been missing out on?

Still, you've got to applaud Cent's grasp of the complex political issues facing a Democrat planning a run in 2008 - he's able to identify which one has the skirt. Well done, Fiddy.

Lily attempts to appease America

Lily Allen seems to have suddenly remembered what happened to the Dixie Chicks when they slagged off the Commander-In-Chief. And they didn't have to worry about getting visas, neither.

So, she's, uh attempted to clarify her position on that MySpace page she said she wasn't going to be updating as often because the fun had gone out of it:

hello all

v festival was great, thanks to everybody who came ,

i just want all my fans to know this ,
I have called george bush a c**t at pretty much every show i have played over the past year , that is because I think he is one and i stand by that . You can make up your own mind as to whether you agree with me or not , thats just how i feel . Just because i hate george bush doesnt mean I hate america , quite the opposite , I think the US is a great place and I am really sad that I cant be there for my commitments scheduled for the near future . what i said about George Bush this weekend bears no relation to what happened a couple of weeks ago with my visa , that is an issue with the US immigration service . I just wanted to let you all know that my " foul mouthed tirade " so widely reported over the past couple of days is actually pretty rehearsed and ive beeen saying it long before all this visa issue .

Erm... Lily, you realise the "Us immigration service" problems you had were pretty much down to the line they've been taking fed directly from the White House? And it's a little bit simplistic to say "I am only hating Bush, not America" without suggesting where you see the line between the head of the State and the nation. Yes, it's possible to hold those two positions simultaneously, but without being given any explanation as to what you actually believe in the space between the two extremes, a casual observer might wonder if you merely trumpeted that you hated Bush because it sounded like a cool, anarchic thing to say, rather than because you have any real understanding of American politics.

She then tries to explain why she raised a glass to, erm, an alcoholic:

also me raising a drink to Amy , was just that , showing my support for her . I've been around enough substance abuse and alcoholism to know that it's a serious matter , and not to be taken lightly .

So, thoughtless rather than aggressive, then.

im sorry, i wanted to write this because i felt like if i didn't say anything you all might believe the rubbish your being fed .

But the "rubbish" is, erm, that you called Bush a cunt and raised a drink to a woman suffering from alcoholism. We're slightly tired of the way the semi-famous try to pretend that their bad behaviour has somehow been "misrepresented" or "made-up", relying on the distrust of tabloid standards to bury their own stupidity.

Lily Allen plays visa roulette

We're not sure Lily Allen is entirely bothered about playing America again - certainly, calling George Bush a fucking cunt during a televised festival gig isn't entirely the best way to warm up Homeland Security to your next application. The current US regime doesn't really do fair comment/free speech very well, Lily.

AT&T snip the 'looza

AT&T made a pretty play for the young-ish, web-hip market earlier this month by webcasting Lollapalooza sets.

Up to a point: it turns out somehow AT&T's webcast mislaid Eddie Vedder's anti-Bush speech during Pearl Jam's set. (And yet they left the music in.)

Funnily enough, this is the same AT&T which happily handed over details of thousands and thousands of its customers private phone calls to the National Security Council, even although none of them were suspected of any crime and there had been no request through the courts for the information. By a strange coincidence.

What does George Bush know about music?

It seems like a great idea - the music industry sends a stooge down to Nashville to ask George W Bush a loaded question (in effect, 'should we be nice to music industry companies or should we be like the Axis of Evil?'). Bush, of course, would give a deft, RIAA-friendly response, press releases could be published, everyone happy.

Trouble is, they forgot that George W Bush isn't the swiftest thinker to have held the highest office in the US, and couldn't understand the question:

QUESTION: Mr. President, music is one of our largest exports the country has. Currently, every country in the world -- except China, Iran, North Korea, Rwanda and the United States -- pay a statutory royalty to the performing artists for radio and television air play. Would your administration consider changing our laws to align it with the rest of the world?

THE PRESIDENT: Help. (Laughter.) Maybe you've never had a President say this -- I have, like, no earthly idea what you're talking about. (Laughter and applause.) Sounds like we're keeping interesting company, you know? (Laughter.)

Look, I'll give you the old classic: contact my office, will you? (Laughter.) I really don't -- I'm totally out of my lane. I like listening to country music, if that helps.

Perhaps they'll have better luck with Dick Cheney. If they can think of a way of working "shooting" into the question.

Bush was "unChristian", says Sheen

Martin Sheen has, for some reason, decided that the four year-old Natalie Maines versus Republican America battle is still a hot topic:

"I saw what happened to the Dixie Chicks.

"If George W. Bush were a true Christian, like he proclaims himself to be, you know what he would have done? He'd have invited them to his next barbeque to play and say 'Hey, I love their music and whether or not I agree with them, I support their right to free speech.'

But instead he was a bully. And he enjoyed watching what happened to them ... it gave him a sense of power and righteousness."

While Sheen has a point, you do wonder if perhaps the time to bring this up would have been while people were still burning Dixie Chicks CDs or, at a push, as Bush was running for re-election. Still, we can't wait to hear what he makes of Tipper Gore and the Back In Control Center.

Allofmp3 closure - sorry, should we be cheering?

Despite there not having been any legal process, Allofmp3.com has been closed down, apparently as a gesture of goodwill from Vladimir Putin as he met George Bush to discuss the growing number of beefs between the two presidents.

Obviously, the music industry are delighted at the move, but isn't it somewhat disturbing? Is there really any difference between Allofmp3 being summarily closed and the seizure of Shell's assets in Siberia? In both cases, there may well have been legitimate grounds for the actions taken, but without a full hearing in open court, how will we ever know?