Mensch & Murdoch turn Bataclan into terrorporn

When terrible things happen to people, it's not unusual for the authorities to withhold some of the worst details. It's done out of respect for the dead, and out of concern for their families.

So it was with the slaughter in the Bataclan - the public was told of the murder; the bestial nature of what happened inside the venue was alluded to. But the fine detail - the horrific fine detail - wasn't made public.

There was no need - if you felt you required something more than 'people murdered because they were at a gig' before you felt it was unacceptable, before you were horrified, you might have a problem yourself.

At this point, enter Heat St. You probably haven't heard of Heat St - it's Rupert Murdoch's version of the Drudge Report, with Louise Mensch as the drudge.

You might wonder why, with a media empire stretching from the Wall Street Journal in the first circle down to The Sun and Fox News in the seventh needs a tattle-based website. It looks like the main motivation is a way to get "things" "out there" without tarnishing his mainstream brands.

And, yeah, if it's something that could tarnish a brand like the New York Post, you can imagine the sort of content they're publishing.

Hence, it was the natural home for an "exclusive" detailing what happened to people inside the Bataclan. Doubtless, Mensch and Murdoch would defend the publication in some vague 'it is important to know what we are dealing with'.

And it is.

But who didn't already know? Why hadn't already imagined the detail? Where is the audience going 'when I thought it was just shooting the people sitting in the area reserved for the disabled and laughing, I was going to cut ISIS some slack but this feels like they went too far?'

There's nobody who needs this terrorporn.

It's funny that the sort of people who wail 'you're playing into their hands' when the BBC forget to add "so-called" in front of "Islamic State" are quite happy to re-up ISIS propaganda and to burnish their reputation when it might get a few extra clicks for a website.

There are monsters everywhere. Why would you work with them?

Mariah Carey stays solid. Just from a distance.

Mariah Carey was supposed to play Brussels last night. Faced with the opportunity to carry on as normal, she, erm, chose not to:

I love my fans in Brussels and at this time I am being advised to cancel my show for the safety of my fans, my band, crew and everyone involved with the tour. I hope to see you soon and send my prayers and eternal love, laughter and light to my Lambs.

Oddly, nobody seemed to be advising Jess Glynne or Johnny Hallyday to cancel. I wonder where the advice came from.

Jedward are taking on ISIS

The world is ending the year weary, as a tiny band of tiresome-but-weaponised dullards try to run a ruler of terror across the planet.

Listen up, ISIS: Sure, you're an over-rated prepubescent wet dream that's hung around way too long.

But we've got our own over-rated prepubescent wet dream that's hung around way too long, and they're taking you on.

Jedward are touring airports to somehow counteract terrorism:

The Irish twins will embark on a series of gigs across Europe to reassure their fans that "everything will be okay​".

However, those wanting a performance from the duo will be left disappointed, as the two will just be meeting fans.

"We're not performing but instead we plan on defying the current fears about terrorism by reassuring our fans that everything will be okay​," John told the Irish Sun.

I know what you're thinking - you wouldn't trust Jedward to accurately predict the weather if they were stood outside in a thunderstorm, so to what extent is their reassurance that there's nothing to be worried about actually reassuring?

On the other hand, what a superb riposte to ISIS. "Yeah, guys, look, we're so bothered by you, we've got Jedward on the case."

The Home Office said there are no plans to raise the threat level to Chico in the foreseeable future.

Greekobit: Demis Roussos

Demis Roussos, Greek pop star, has died.

While it's true he was a icon at home in Greece, you have to have a sneaking suspicion that part of the reason he was so well-known overseas (and remains identifiable thousands of miles from home, forty years after his peak) was because 'big bloke in a thing that looks like a dress' was such an easy, cheap target for a lazy parody.

He also had a brush with terrorism, being on a plane hijacked by Islamic Jihad and Hezbollah in 1985. His 39th birthday passed while he was being held; the hijackers marked the occasion with a cake. It doesn't really take the sting away from the shooting people and dumping corpses on the runway, though.

Roussos was 68 and had suffered from health problems for a long time; he listed Sting as one of his favourite composers.

Madonna sticks to the terrorism line, something something lizard people

Talking to The Guardian, Madonna has barely softened her claim that having her music leaked onto the internet was a form of terrorism:

Speaking to the Guardian on Sunday, the singer said she was “living in a state of terror” following the leak, adding that there was “a big possibility” they were the result of her personal computer being hacked.

“Obviously there is a person, or a group of people behind this that were essentially terrorising me. I don’t want to sound alarming, but certainly that’s how I felt. It’s one thing if someone comes into your house and steals a painting off your wall: that’s also a violation, but, your work, as an artist, that’s devastating.

“I’m an artistic person, I’m very expressive. I’m sorry if words alarm people, but that’s what it felt like. It was not a consensual agreement. I did not say ‘hey, here’s my music, and it’s finished.’ It was theft.”

Now, if she went simply with "theft", that'd be a fair description of what happened. But terrorism?

Talking at the end of a week when 140 people were killed for being at school, it would take an astonishing lack of understanding or compassion to try and make a case that simply having a few files lifted and dumped online was in any way comparable to that; would that all terrorism could be solved by simply bringing forward the presale date for an album, eh?

But having overbaked the leak, there's more grand claims lining up to be made:

Madonna unexpectedly released six tracks from Rebel Heart on iTunes, following the leak of the unfinished songs earlier in the week: the album itself is not due for release until March. She immediately reached No 1 in the iTunes chart in 36 countries, a situation she described as a miracle.

A miracle, no less. Not only do we have terrorism at one end of the scale, but the intercession of the almighty to make a popular artist able to sell music in quantities large enough to get to the top of a list of sales. Take that, Lazarus, if you thought you were the last word in miracles.

The only way this could get any more absurd would be if it turns out Madge is engaging with David Icke style conspiracy theories as well. But that'd be a step too far, right?

The six songs from Rebel Heart released thus far do not shy away from controversy: one, Illuminati, mocks the various conspiracy theories on the internet that implicate a variety of entertainers – including Jay-Z and Lady Gaga – in membership of a shadowy ruling elite.

“There’s a lot of talk in pop music right now about people saying, ‘Oh, this person’s a member of the Illuminati,’ or they’re Illuminati, or you’re Illuminati, and people’s idea that there’s a group of entertainers or very wealthy people, they’re referred to as the Illuminati, and they work behind the scenes and they control things and they’re very powerful, and there’s possibly a reference to something dark, or black magic, or something like that. And I have to say I laugh at all of those things.

“I think there are some people who don’t mind being referred to as that, but I know who the real Illuminati are, and where that word came from. The root of the word is “illuminate”, and that means “The enlightened ones”, and it came from the Age of Enlightenment, when a lot of arts and creativity flourished, from Shakespeare to Isaac Newton, to Leonardo Da Vinci, Michelangelo: the philosophers, artists, scientists were all engaged in a kind of high level of consciousness through their work, and they were enlightening and inspiring people around the world. And those are the true Illuminati. So the purpose for writing that song was really in a way, ‘So, if you think I’m the Illuminati, then thank you very much, a compliment, because I would like very much to be part of that group, the real Illuminati, and this is what it’s not’”.

Yeah, it's like one of those magic eye pictures; if you stare at those comments for a minute or two, an actual lizard will leap out of the screen at you. "I'm delighted to be part of the Illumnait because it's actually being like Shakespeare" is very much the Masonic "I know what you are but what am I" of comebacks.

Odd, though, that Madonna doesn't seem to think that the Illuminati might be behind the terror/miracle of her leaks and sales. Wake up, Madonna. Clearly the goat lizards are pulling your strings more than you realise.

On the cover of Rolling Stone

This is the cover of the new Rolling Stone - it's quite controversial:

Yes, to the shock of America, Rolling Stone are running a cover that isn't of a topless female celebrity holding a hat over her tits. Americans are struggling to understand this deviation from house sty...

Oh, hang on. Apparently that isn't the problem. Thinkprogress' Judd Legum tries to boil down what the problem is here:

New Rolling Stone cover turns the Boston bomber into Jim Morrison. A comparison: pic.twitter.com/UJKhAMJSGO

— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) July 16, 2013

Oh, yes. It's a head-and-shoulders shot on the cover of the magazine, and they had a head-and-shoulders shot of Jim Morrison about three thousand years ago, so it's clear that what they're trying to do there is turn one into the other.

It couldn't just be that they've put a photo of the subject of their cover story on the, erm, front cover, could it?

The complaints seem to fall into two large clumps, on a sliding scale of ill-informedness.

The first is a suggestion that RS is trying to make Dzhokhar Tsarnaev into some sort of rock star, because they've put him on the cover of a rock magazine, and what else can it mean other than 'Tsarnaev is a rock star'.

The magazine sighs, and tries to explain that while people might think RS is a rock magazine, it really isn't:

The cover story we are publishing this week falls within the traditions of journalism and Rolling Stone’s long-standing commitment to serious and thoughtful coverage of the most important political and cultural issues of our day.

I think that's quite mild, really. After all, Rolling Stone is arguably at its worse when it talk about music, lurching between Tom Waits and Janet Jackson (providing she's got her top off).

It makes you wonder what the complainants think PJ O'Rourke has been filing all these years - do they think he was reviewing Green Day gigs and asking Bonnie Rait about her fitness regime? Do they assume that Hunter S Thompson's main order of business was joining Sting in the studio?

The second group seem at least vaguely aware that the title covers current affairs but, in the style of the 'he's looking like Jim Morrison' observation, that it's wrong to have an accused murderer on the cover, especially when he looks so bloody handsome.

America, it seems, wants its monsters to look like monsters (except the ones out of Monsters Inc). How dare Rolling Stone suggest there might be a more nuanced position; that the man accused of bringing death and misery to so many could look like the sort of boy you'd hope your daughter would take to the prom?

Bizarrely, CVS and a grocery chain have even gone to the lengths of pulling the magazine from their shelves. They happily sold copies of Time with Osama on the front; they stocked and shipped back Newsweeks with Bin Laden covers. I'd love to see CVS explain what policy it is that they're invoking here.

The point being missed in the all the squawking is that the cover is the story - that to his friends, he was just the sort of kid who would make a great prom date:

Someone mentions one of the surveillance videos of Jahar, which shows him impassively watching as people begin to run in response to the blast. "I mean, that's just the face I'd always see chilling, talking, smoking," says Jackson. He wishes­ Jahar had looked panicked. "At least then I'd be able to say, 'OK, something happened.' But . . . nothing."

Rolling Stone has published a thoughtful article about not judging something by the cover. It's a pity a lot of people won't get to read it, because they're so quick to do just that.

You'll have been worried about Nelly Furtado's views on the Bin Laden photos

I know that, when trying to weight the risks and advantages of the decision by The White House to not releases photos of Osama Bin Laden's face, I've had trouble coming to a firm opinion. The reason?

Well, who can decide where they stand on such a question without guidance from Nelly Furtado.

Thank the lord, she has now broken her silence:

Canadian singer Nelly Furtado has applauded U.S. President Barack Obama for refusing to release photographic evidence of terrorist leader Osama Bin Laden's death.

And Furtado is glad a grisly image of bin Laden with a bullet wound to the head is being kept hidden away.

In a post on her Twitter.com page, she writes, "So grateful that we'll have one less violent photo circulating throughout the world. White House has good taste."

It was, of course, a matter of taste and decency that had been staying Obama's hand, and nothing to do with the risk of inflaming extremist passions around the globe leading to a series of bloody reprisals against Americans and their perceived allies.

Thank god Obama has an eye for the tasteful decision, eh?

With Osama Bin Laden dead, the important question is: What does Mel B make of it?

I'm glad you asked.

ContactMusic has scoured what it calls "celebrities" reactions:

Melanie Brown writes, "We need to take a moment to give thanks to the soldiers who risked there lives."

Meanwhile...

a stunned LeAnn Rimes exclaims, "Omg (Oh my god), Bin Laden!!! Blessings to our troops and a bit of peace for our country and those who lost loved one's (sic) in 9/11"

I'm sure LeAnn will realise in a moment or two that this doesn't actually stop America being at war in Afghanistan. Or that if Al Qaeda was the force it was supposed to be, that there'd be dozens of idiots with weapons keen to avenge the death.

No tweet to that effect yet. Perhaps her battery is low.

Meanwhile...

Nikki Sixx, who heard the news while in the Big Apple: "Being in New York and hearing that Bin Ladin (sic) is dead is icing on the cake...".

Oh, yes. Where better to be on Osama Bin Laden Thrown Into The Ocean Day than New York? The cake of a summary execution and swift vanishing of the body can only, surely, be improved by a coincidental being in New York icing. Cursed are the poor celebrities who are merely having to eat an uniced cake.

Mali shifts music festival

I suppose that - in context - the overbearing presence of mobile phone companies and the cancellation of the trains heading towards the county might be minor quibbles when it comes to music festivals. Organisers of Festival Au Desert have had to shift the venue closer to Timbuktu to make it safer from terrorists.

Not safe enough for the French, though, who've advised their nationals not to attend. Balancing out the risk, though, is that U2 aren't playing. You've got like those odds, right?

Rich man slightly inconvenienced by world events

Let's not lose sight of the real issue at the heart of this twat trying to let indoor fireworks off on a plane above Detroit: it caused a slight delay for Rod Stewart in his travel plans.

Winehouse: Not a target at all, admits The Sun

So, amongst the stories that popped up in the last day and a half or so was the admission by The Sun that the big front-page splash which claimed Amy Winehouse and Alan Sugar were on some sort of terrorist hit-list was about as true as... oh, that story about Elton John's dogs or something.

The Sun has appears to apologise:

A PHONEY terrorism "expert" has confessed to duping newspapers and a senior politician.

Newspapers. Like The Sun, you mean?

Yes, it turns out that far from being an apology from the Sun to its readers, it's actually running an apology from Glen Jenvey to The Sun:

Jenvey - who had been described as "an extremely capable and knowledgeable analyst" by Tory MP Patrick Mercer - said: "I'm fully responsible for the story. The Sun was deceived.

"The Sun did not know that I was behind the postings.

"I would like to apologise to all the British Jews who we scared and I'd like to apologise to The Sun newspaper."

Somehow, The Sun seems to think that this lets it off the hook - "ooh, he didn't say 'I've forged the postings', so how were we to know?". Shouldn't The Sun have investigated a little more closely before running the story?

So, apart from the relief that Amy Winehouse is now - officially - once again her own worst enemy, there remains a big question: had we paid to read this story behind a paywall, would we get a refund?

This bike is still not a pipe bomb

Two years after the first airport shutdown because of a bicycle with a This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb sticker on it, it's happened again:

"I was at work and just kind of freaked out," TBIAPB lead singer/guitarist Ryan Modee told the Pensacola News Journal on Thursday of his reaction to hearing about the incident. "I was like, 'Oh, God, not again. How could this be happening?'"

Modee is urging fans to remove stickers from items at airports and other high security areas to avoid such problems, and says the band will replace them afterward.

Perhaps there should be a warning sign - say, two miles from the airport boundary: "remove your This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb stickers now."

Of course, given that Memphis Airport was shut down by the sticker, you wonder if terrorists might not be more effective at disrupting infrastructure by forming punk bands called things like "Watch Out - This Innocent Looking Laptop Case Is Actually A Dirty Bomb" or "Yes, If I Was Attempting A Terrorist Outrage I Would Wear A Badge Saying Death To The West Like This One I Am Wearing Now" and wait for word of mouth to do the rest.

NME admits Ronson-Winehouse story was toss - eventually

Kudos to the NME for admitting the story it ran unquestioningly about "prominent" British Jews being on a "terrorist hit list" was a pile of nothing, while The Sun, from whom they originally picked up the story, has quietly deleted it.

There is one hanging puzzle, though: it's not just why the NME simply copied a story when a more enquiring mind might have at least poked a curious finger into the Sun's claims. Even without knowing the strange, trolly background of The Sun's terrorist "expert" and the dubious nature of the original "threat" (taken to pieces deftly by Bloggerheads) a few seconds poking about online showed that there wasn't any serious threat at all.

But the really strange thing is why it's taken two weeks for the NME to get round to correcting its original story.

Bookmarks: Some stuff to read on the internet - The terror threat of live music

On The Guardian's Comment Is Free, Sunny Hundal explains why some types of live music are being put under the cosh:

I was, until recently, a regular at a monthly club night before the police suddenly started strictly enforcing ID checks. This wasn't merely to ensure I was above the required 18 years of age. Not only was everyone required to provide visual identification, but they also had to be logged in a computer database – otherwise none of us could go in. Everyone's driving licences were scanned through a machine and recorded on a computer, with no indication of how long the police would store the information for.

When I objected, the (white) club promoter was quite frank with me. He said the police had said they were "concerned" that the venue played "black and Asian music" and hence wanted added security. Any sort of trouble is extremely rare at this night. Yet their reasoning was that if any fight broke out, they could track everyone at the event if necessary.

Form 696 explicitly singles out musical styles such as R&B, bashment, garage or styles including MCs/DJs as examples of genres that have to be stated if put on. It also required event producers to state the likely racial profile of people attending. When accusations of racial profiling were inevitably raised by the music industry, the Met changed the wording to ask who it was targeted at.

Someone on the internet makes intemperate comment

This website will now report something another website published that it had read on another website about something which appeared on yet another website. And they say we live in age with too much information.

The NME has picked up on The Sun's story this morning which reported a pro-Palestinian website calling for protests against British Jews:

Reports have emerged today (January 7) claiming that Amy Winehouse and Mark Ronson have been included on a "terror target" hit list made in reaction to the current conflict in the Gaza region.

A post on the forum apparently called for users to compile "a list of top Jews we can target", which included both Winehouse and Ronson's names.

In other words, somebody has drawn up a list of not-even-all-that-prominent British Jewish figures. Of course, it's a snide and not-exactly-considered response to the deaths in Gaza, but should anyone really be worried? Not unless a paper can find someone willing to talk the thing up.

British anti-terror expert Glen Jenvey told The Sun that the comments should be taken seriously.

"The Ummah website has been used by extremists," he said. "Those listed should treat it very seriously. Expect a hate campaign and intimidation by 20 or 30 thugs."

Poor Mark Ronson, expecting to be surrounded by a number of thuggish loudmouths. Mind you, he's worked with the Kaiser Chiefs so it's not like he's not used to it.

What's slightly confusing about Jenvey's response is his warning to "expect" a hate campaign, as if drawing up a list of people to be held responsible for a different nation's decision to hurl missiles isn't a bit of a hate campaign in its own right. And, in addition, the "expect intimidation by 20 to 30 thugs" seems surprisingly precise. Obviously not as precise as, say, "expect intimidation by 27 thugs", but still quite precise nevertheless.

It actually turns out, though, that there isn't even a special hit list being drawn up - the Sun story merely says that someone on the Ummah website linked to (yes, another) site which had a list of the 100 most prominent Jews living in Britain, which makes the threat of twenty to thirty thugs seem even less likely: if they can't be arsed to cut and paste the entire list onto a web forum, how likely is it that the necessary 3000 thugs are going to be mobilised?

It's silly, it's unpleasant, but not as silly treating everything that appears online as some sort of superplot.

Jakarta off? No, she cancelled of her own accord

Rhianna has pulled her planned Jakarta gig over fears that she might be a target for terrorists seeking an easy reprisal for the Bali bomber executions:

"They said Indonesia's security is not supportive," event promoter Troy Waroka told the local press. "The concert will be postponed until January or February."

Oh, yes. Just give it five or six weeks. These desperate, callous terrorists who would happily murder innocents in their hundreds in November to atone for the execution of their brothers are sure to be over it by the New Year, aren't they?

Modern conundrums

E! Online struggles with a reader's problem:

I really like that M.I.A. single "Paper Planes." But I hear she supports terror. Is that true? Is she a terrorist?

—Mela, Los Angeles

Mela, Mela: given the state of the world we live in, where just happening to be in the wrong place at the wrong time can see you flown to Cuba and being force fed down a long tube, do you really think that the authorities would cheerfully allow a terrorist to pop up on the MTV every few hours?

Given, though, that the music industry insists that buying a dodgy CD is effectively a way of funding terrorist organisations, it's an interesting moral question: if MIA was a terrorist, would it be more or less acceptable to buy her CDs off a bloke in the pub?

It's on a par with, say, Will Young joining UKIP

Some nervousness over in Kuwait where, apparently, pop star Hussein al-Ahmad has quit the industry. Not for him, though, the usual afterlife of the failed popstar - he's not going to make two poorly-received movies, try his hand at writing an autobiography and then booking a comeback tour with Kim Wilde and Bananarama.

Oh, no: he's supposedly joined Al-Qaeda.

The trigger-happy terrorists are delighted, of course, hoping that fans will buy into the concept of jihad in the same way that Britney Spears fans will happily buy her perfume because it's got her picture on it.

They're making a video to celebrate their new signing:

Al-Ahmad's friend, Miftaf Lughzi confirmed this in an interview with the Arabic satellite television channel Al Jazeera.

"I believe that a video has been produced by al-Sahab [the television production arm of al-Qaeda]," said Lughzi.

"He should have given an interview which will be released on the Internet in three months," he said.

In three months? Bloody hell, the Stone Roses could make a video faster than that. Even EMI would suggest that in the digital age, you might look at a slightly faster turn-around between recording and distribution.

Al-Ahmad became famous through a local Pop Idol-style programme, Star Academy, although clearly the offer of a large number of virgins in paradise forever seemed more attractive than the number seventeen slot in the Kuwaiti download chance and the opportunity to have your life shaped by the closest thing Al Rawdatayn has to a Louis Walsh.

It might seem strange to us to exchange a pop career for a life in armed struggle, but who has seen Alex Parks recently?

The Miley Cyrus terrorist dance

We did wonder when reading the sad story earlier today about the sixteen year old kid who was arrested after supposedly saying he was going to hijack a plane to commit suicide who'd be the first news outlet to try and make something out of the supposed plans to fly the plane into a Hannah Montana gig.

Well done, TMZ, whose team broke off from their current duties of reporting every single rumour surrounding the death of Heath Ledger, and then reporting the denials with a 'fancy anyone even believing that' sneer, to bring the 'news' of how close Miley Cyrus came to grief:

The unnamed 16-year-old had handcuffs, duct tape, rope and other items with him on the flight Tuesday, and though there was no incident on the plane, the FBI says he had a plan to hijack the jet. "He had some general plans where he was going and indicated where he wanted to die."

... and then how close she didn't come to grief:

Even though Nashville media have reported that the plane was going to be directed to Lafayette, La. to interrupt a Miley Cyrus concert, it seems that the concert was scheduled for today, not Tuesday.

... which didn't stop TMZ headlining the report:

Dude Tries to Crash Miley Gig – With Plane?

although, of course, the response to the question is 'no, not really'.

Now, let's assume that there really was a 'plot' - and it wasn't all a damaged kid seeking some attention - let's just look at the facts here: a sixteen year old boy, acting on his own, planning to somehow overpower the entire attendant team (and, presumably, all the passengers) using only some string and sticky-tape. So, how's he actually going to manage that? But even if he did, he'd then have to get into the locked cockpit, and somehow overpower the flight deck team. And then somehow fly the plane to a concert, and dive it into the gig - which isn't that easy, if you're not used to flying this sort of plane. So, really, it was a 'plot' in the way that another 16 year-old boy's 'plot' to move to Hollywood and somehow become Miley Cyrus' boyfriend is a plot.

People are fragile things, you should know by now

We'd always wondered if there were people in Britain who lived in day-to-day fear of terrorism, convinced it's only the careful decanting of shampoo into 100 millilitre bottles before going through security that stops us from all being murdered in our beds.

We're really surprised that there are, and that Editors' Chris Urbonowicz is one of them:

"England is not a great place to be at the moment. I retreated high up in my flat. I tried to avoid everything that has happened."

Yes, Chris. Going to the top of a tall building - that's the best way to avoid terrorists.