Azealia Banks issues half-apology written by her PR team

You'll recall that last time we came across Azealia Banks, the Zac Goldsmith of pop had taken to Twitter to call Zayn Malik a "curry scented bitch".

Well, her PR team have found enough space between updating their LinkedIn profiles to get an apology of sorts out via Instagram.

Instagram might seem an odd choice, but it's one of the few social networks Banks is welcome on at the moment.

How has it taken so long for this apology to appear? It turns out being racist and homophobic is something you have to spend some time thinking about:

Now that the immediacy of the infamous incident has worn off, I've had some time to decompress & take a more rational assessment of things.

You just know you're being set up for a bullshit empty apology-shaped hole when the person won't even mention what they're supposedly sorry for.

But, yeah, you've had the best part of a week to "rationally assess" attacking someone using racist and homophobic language. What did you come up with?

I want to extend my sincerest apologies to the world

Not specifically to Zayn, the man she insulted, you'll note, but - hey - he's part of the world, right?

Employing racial/sexual slurs/stereotypes in attempts to make fun of or degrade another person or group is not fair or fun for anyone

To be honest, Azealia, you did look like you were having a lot of fun doing it while it was happening.

Allowing my anger to get the best of me, I’ve managed to insult millions of people without reason. And for that I give my deepest apologies.

Ah, so it wasn't Azealia's fault, really; it was just that she got angry she turned into a racist homophobic shit. She's kind of a Hulk/Trump hybrid, it turns out.

And the whole "curry-scented" thing? Why, that wasn't meant to be insulting at all. It's just good old fashioned humour:

She said she was repeating a joke from her native New York – where nearly half of cab drivers were born in Bangladesh, India or Pakistan – that taxis smelled like curry.

“I feel compelled to clear the air with curry itself because that’s a bridge I don’t want to burn. I still want to be able to enjoy it freely without guilt or judgment,” she wrote.

So, during this heartfelt apology to the world in general, the only entity which got a direct sorry was a foodstuff. Maybe she meant it was heartburn apology.

Trouble with this is that the "joke" that taxis smell of curry is racist in itself, so you're only saying that you were being derivatively unpleasant rather than creatively unpleasant. And as Zayn isn't actually a taxi, neither the joke nor the explanation makes sense anyway.

Doesn't really work as an apology, does it?

Azeailia Banks: Pretty unpleasant

It's not simply that Azeailia Banks managed to cram quite so much racism and homophobia into her tweets to Zayn Malik; it's the way she discovered to double-down on them:

Throughout the day Banks has continued to argue with people on Twitter about her rant adding even more offensive content to her stream of tweets.

The rapper even went live on Periscope where she continued her heavily racist rant against Malik, saying how he had been kicked out of One Direction for being a "brown b****".

It's to Rinse's credit that they've uninvited her from the Born & Bred festival:

After increasing calls upon the festival's organisers to remove Banks, who was due to headline the festival's second day, from the bill, they have now responded with a statement saying: "We have decided to cancel Azealia Banks' appearance at Rinse | Born & Bred Festival. Rinse | Born & Bred is a celebration of rave culture and has been created for EVERYONE. We celebrate inclusivity and equality."

Her name has now been removed from the festival's website and replaced by a blank space.

After the over-crammed suitcase of shit Banks has been pushing into the crowds this last day or so, a blank space has never been more welcome.

Matchbox 20's Rob Thomas drinks so much, he forgets himself

Matchbox 20's Rob Thomas is off on a tour of Australia right now. Although he nearly had to come back straight away after "making a joke":

“I keep drinking until I think I’m a black Australian”.

Considering there's such a serious alcohol problem amongst Indigenous Australains that it's the main cause of a horrifying death rate amongst the group, if Thomas had known quite what he was saying, that would be career-endingly shameful.

As it turns out, Thomas was horrified to discover the truth:

“I said I drank until I thought I was Australian. Then I drank so much that I thought I was a black Australian and then I drank so much I thought I was a little Australian girl.

“These were 3 things I chose at random to represent 3 things I’m not. I’m not Australian. I’m not black and I’m not a little girl.”

Thomas said that had he known there was a “connection between the indigenous peoples of Australia and a stereotype involving drinking” he would have chosen another example.

“I was so ignorant to the situation that when I heard people groan I actually thought THEY were being racist. I didn’t know until TODAY that just the phrase ‘black Australian’ was racist all on it’s own. (sic)

“I sat in my room and I cried when I found out.”

Thomas said he was “truly sorry” for how the joke was delivered, “most of all to the indigenous people here”.

That seems heartfelt, and genuine. It's what contrition looks like.

He had the grace to admit he got things wrong, and to apologise.

Let's move on.

Except... to play the Columbo 'one last thing' card...

Leaving aside the specific Australian angle, we're still left with something difficult.

In trying to conjure up something different to himself, Thomas thought of a black man.

Now, he could have said he'd drunk so much he thought he was a dragon, or Napoleon, or a teapot, or the singer in a half-decent band. There's a lot of things that are completely unlike him.

But instead, the most distant thing he can come up with from himself is a black man.

Yeah, I suspect it's true that Thomas doesn't have much idea how far the experiences of typical black men - American or Australian - differ from his life. That might be the problem, Rob.

And a quick aside: even without the awkward race angle, going on stage and talking about how much you've drunk isn't an act; it's a stag party organised by bores.

Mark Seymour tells racists to get lost

Hunters And Collectors heard that their music was being used by racist wank-gerbils Reclaim Australia. Mark Seymour isn't having it:

I've just been informed that 'Reclaim Australia' are using 'Holy Grail' at their rallies.
Let me be clear. 'Reclaim Australia' is a racist organisation.
We stand together with refugees and asylum seekers the world over.
We are opposed to bigotry, race hate and fascism.
'Reclaim Australia' has no place in Australian Society.

This has had the happy side effect of leading his racist fans to out themselves, and withdraw from being his fan. For example, one prime toothbucket called Jake Myers swept in to slap this out of his keyboard:

Fuck you Mark , just burnt my hunters albums , are you fucking blind to what's going on in the world stop being politically correct and have some balls, at least reclaim are doing and saying something, yes it mightn't be the best way of doing things but at they are trying , this is what shits me about Australia these days everybody is to fucking soft and afraid of offending someone, fuck I'm cranky.

First of all, clearly if Seymour had been too scared to offend people, he wouldn't have had a pop at the brain offsets which calls themselves Reclaim Australia.

Secondly, and more importantly, you've burned your Hunters albums, have you, Jake? Really? You set fire to them, did you? It's funny, because I don't smell burning plastic coming off that post. I smell something, but not that.

The VMAs happened, and we'd be better off if we try and pretend it didn't

The VMAs - the bit on the calendar when everyone remembers MTV still broadcast - happened yesterday, in a series of events in which pop music finally broke.

Miley Cyrus was on hosting duties, and couldn't decide what to wear. So in the end she wore everything:

Every single one of Miley's VMA stage looks. Which one is your favorite? #VMA #MileyVMAs pic.twitter.com/ThvbZxU3mT

— Miley Cyrus Fashion (@StylishCyrus) August 31, 2015

Seven outfits. Seven outfits, and not one of them worked. The one with the giant Smarties on, clearly, was sold to her by a designer trying to keep a straight face while insisting that he had GaGa on the other line putting in a bid for it. But that was just the worst of a very, very bad bunch.

Somewhere this morning Billy Ray Cyrus is saying "when I said there's no way you're going on stage dressed like that", I wasn't being an overprotective father; I was talking on behalf of Vogue."

It's not just Miley's dresses which had most of America thinking it was time for an intervention, though. She's now got dreads.

Of course, there's no reason why Miley Cyrus can't have dreads - even ones that are so obviously fake that they look like they've recently been used to stop trawlers drifting off to sea - but it came across as a somewhat insensitive thing to do after her recent dis on Nicki:

Miley Cyrus berated Nicki for speaking out on issues that affect black women in the music industry,& is also wearing dreads rn. The audacity

— hot ebony mom (@egbaprincess) August 31, 2015

It shows something of a deaf ear, or poor advice, to spend a chunk of the week telling a black woman she doesn't know how to campaign on behalf of under-represented black women, only to turn up with a head full of shoddy cultural appropriation. It's fair to say it didn't go down well.

And that wasn't the end of the racial insensitivity for the night:

MTV: racism is bad! MTV: allows miley cyrus onstage in dreads, allows rebel wilson to dress up as a cop introducing the hip hop category

— spock kirk (@mrtrohman) August 31, 2015

In case you're not sure that having someone introduce the hip hop awards dressed as a cop making jokes about "injustice" is that much of a dick move, even the Daily Mail noticed.

Kanye was also there. He made reference to that time he was on before and gatecrashed Taylor Swift picking up an award:

He spoke of the aftermath of interrupting Swift lo those many years ago. He bit the hand that was feeding him by saying, "You know how many times MTV ran that footage again, 'cause it got them more ratings?"

It must have been galling that when you tried to make a gallant gesture in order to put the focus firmly on yourself, only for the awards show you're at to make hay from it, eh.

West also used the occasion to announce his plans for the next decade:

"And yes, as you probably could have guessed by this moment, I have decided, in 2020, to run for president."

Cyrus's reaction to this - which came after a break, which means not only did she have time to think of a response, but other people could have, too, was:

“Trump, you had my vote. But now? Kanye West for president!”

Even in jest, to tell Donald Trump you were going to vote for him is deadly. Perhaps there was some metajoke being made about how, if you're going to vote for some guy off a reality TV show, it doesn't matter which one you go for, but somehow, I doubt it.

In happier news, Nicki and Taylor made up their beef. But Nicki wasn't done with Miley:

Minaj thanked her pastor while taking the award for Anaconda, then turned to Cyrus, who was on a nearby stage. “And now back to this bitch that had a lot to say about me the other day in the press – Miley, what’s good?” said Minaj.

Miley was forced to go off script for a moment. Like a pro, she blamed the press:

Cyrus responded to the confrontation, with a brief comment about interview responses being twisted from their intended message. “We’re all in the industry, we all do interviews, and we all know how they manipulate shit,” Cyrus said, before continuing with her script for the night.

Or maybe she didn't, as obviously that was on The Guardian website and you know how the press manipulate shit.

You do wonder, though, why she didn't contact Minaj directly and explain what she really meant when the interview came out, don't you?

In case you've forgotten, there were awards being given out as well, and here's the closest thing to winners in full:

Best Rock Video: Fall Out Boy, "Uma Thurman"

Best Pop Video: Taylor Swift, "Blank Space"

Best Male Video: Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars, "Uptown Funk"

Best Hip-Hop Video: Nicki Minaj, "Anaconda"

Best Female Video: Taylor Swift, "Blank Space"

Best Video With a Social Message: Big Sean featuring Kanye West & John Legend, "One Man Can Change the World"

Song of the Summer: 5 Seconds of Summer, "She's Kinda Hot"

Best Collaboration: Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar, "Bad Blood"

Best Direction: Kendrick Lamar, "Alright" (Colin Tilley & the Little Homies)

Best Choreography: OK Go, "I Won’t Let You Down" (OK Go, air:man and Mori Harano)

Best Cinematography: Flying Lotus feat. Kendrick Lamar, "Never Catch Me" (Larkin Sieple)

Best Art Direction: Snoop Dogg, "So Many Pros" (François Rousselet, Jason Fijal)

Best Editing: Beyoncé, "7/11" (Beyoncé, Ed Burke, Jonathan Wing)

Best Visual Effects: Skrillex and Diplo feat. Justin Bieber, "Where Are U Now" (Brewer, Gloria FX, and Max Chyzhevskyy)

Artist to Watch: Fetty Wap

Video of the Year: Taylor Swift featuring Kendrick Lamar, "Bad Blood"

Morrissey talks about race again. No, it's not what you think.

Without even going near the High Court endorsed viewpoint that Morrissey Is Not A Racist Nor Ever Shall Be Called Such, it's clear Mozzer has a complicated worldview that probably can't be summed up comfortably in one word.

He's just called out Obama for acting like black lives don't matter:

Obama has mystified me because he doesn’t appear to support black people when they need it most… Ferguson being an obvious example. If Michael Brown had instead been one of Obama’s daughters, I don’t think Obama would be insisting that the nation support the so-called security forces! How can they be called security forces if they make the people feel insecure? Obama seems to be white inside. There is an obvious racial division in America and it’s exploding and Obama doesn’t ever support the innocent black people who are murdered by white police officers who are never held accountable. You would expect him to be more understanding of what it means to be black. But so far, he hasn’t been.​ There’s no point in continually saying that we must support the police when it is obvious to the entire world that the police in America are out of control.

How can this Morrissey then go to London and mutter about not hearing English accents in Knightsbridge and the gates to England "being flooded". It's almost as if (pop psychology alert) that having spent so much time in America, Morrissey finds it impossible to talk about Britain except through a character - part cartoon, part one-of-the-sleeves-of-a-Smiths-record - in the same way that, say, Lousie Mensch's attempts at providing commentary on American politics is powered by a belief that she should know about this sort of thing, but without enough context to clarify into something that isn't a bit embarrassing.

And in case you're thinking "well, this is Morrissey just saying something liberal to try and offset the view in some people's minds", that doesn't seem to be the case either; it feels thought-through. Compare this with what he has to say about racism in the music industry (American music industry, of course) where he's a bit sketchier:

I think rap has scared the American white establishment to death, mainly because it’s true. James Brown once sang “Say It Loud, I’m Black And I’m Proud”. No pop artist would ever be allowed to say that today … they’d be instantly dropped from the label. If Billie Holiday approached Capitol Records in 2015 they wouldn’t entertain her for a second. Also, yes, I feel that I bring my spirit to America, and I feel very much a part of it and I’ve played in most cities big or small. America has been so important to my musical life, and the audiences have always been incredible. I’ve always felt privileged even though I know I’ve been locked out of mainstream considerations. That’s life! Me and Billie Holiday, good company, at least.

It's a pity they didn't ask him to expand a bit on what he meant by "rap" - the quote here could have come from thirty years ago; does mainstream rap really still worry the establishment in the same way? It's hard to believe that tracks like Trap Queen are going to cause too many Bank of America execs to nervously run a finger round their collar. There's a sense of the "I'd imagine" about this part of the interview; like his descriptions of Britain and immigration in the fateful NME interview, it's as if he's generating a viewpoint based on half-impressions and fractured memories.

I think we're nowhere different from where we started - Morrissey has a complex intersection with questions of race and identity in the modern world.

And while you don't need Morrissey to point out that a lot of white American cops have a problem with a lot of Americans who aren't white, the fact that he is may say something about just how bad that situation has become.

The UKIP calypso continues to demonstrate the unelectability of UKIP

Mike Read has withdrawn his UKIP Calypso song, after it occurred to him that, maybe, singing about "illegal immigrants" in a funny-black-person voice might be racist after all.

The Red Cross were apparently offered some of the proceeds of the song, but they said no, on the grounds that they couldn't accept funds linked to a political party. And that they work with asylum seekers, so the song didn't really fit with their values, either.

Rather than accept this, UKIP decided to be arseholes about it:

A Ukip spokesman said "synthetic outrage" produced by "right-on" social media users and the media caused the removal of the track, claiming that less money would go to causes such as the British Red Cross from its sale.

But the principle that the Red Cross can't accept party political donations is a solid one - they can't be seen as being connected to a government, or a ruling class, or an ideology. A proper political organisation would understand and respect that.

More to the point: where did the idea that this was raising money for the Red Cross come from?

Here's the UKIP Facebook page announcing that "their celebrity member" had made the track:

Our celebrity member Mike Read, the former Radio 1 DJ, has written a brand new single especially for UKIP and we need your help to get it to the top of the pop charts.

It costs just 79p to download, 20p of which will go to UKIP.

Odd, if you're keen to raise funds for the Red Cross, that you wouldn't think to mention it.

And on Monday, when Read was defending his racist song as not being racist at all, he didn't mention that there were funds being raised for the Red Cross.

The Amazon download page for the song - is still live, incidentally, so Read and UKIP can't even manage to withdraw a song from distribution, never mind pull a nation out of Union. But that page doesn't mention the Red Cross, either.

I'm not suggesting that UKIP have made up this donation in a desperate bid to try and salvage an embarrassment and try a 'you're upset about racism but you're making Africans die of ebola' argument, or that they're lying... oh, hang on. I am. UKIP are lying. Of course they're lying.

Who's the worst pop star?

We've got something of an asshole-off this morning.

In one corner, Justin Bieber, insulting the entire disabled community, according to Tom Turner:

I want to share my disappointment and utter disgust at pop star Justin Bieber for his lack of judgment when he was caught using a wheelchair to get past the crowds at Disneyland last month.

The disabled community recently celebrated the 24th anniversary of the signing of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, and his actions where a blatant slap in the face to the disabled community.

That is pretty bad sounding, although something should have alerted Tom that maybe there's more to this story than it seemed on original reports.

Because, first, it's Justin Bieber. Generally, in the fawning Kingdom of Disney, if you have that sort of name recognition, you don't find yourself standing at the back of a two-hour queue at Splash Mountain.

Secondly, as everyone knows, when Bieber wants to cut a queue at Disneyland, he pulls the old 'dressing up as Goofy' ruse.

It's possible that Bieber had a genuine injury. Or, equally, that he was insulting the entire disabled community by using a wheelchair because he's an entitled tit who's too grand to walk around a theme park. We may never know.

But in the battle for worst pop star, there comes a challenge from beyond the grave. It turns out the the corpse of Michael Jackson has more stories to share, as the New York Post has been talking to his former maids:

“Michael sometimes ran around where the animals were, and he’d track . . . poop throughout the house and think nothing of it,” Maid No. 1 recalled. “Then, if you said something, he’d threaten to make doo-doo snowballs and throw it at you.”

The doo-doo snowball, by the way, is the third most popular cocktail at Wetherspoons right now.

So, not wiping his shoes at the door. That's bad. But, like in some sort of Blind Date - Blind Dirt, if you will - there's another maid who wants to share. Maid No. 2, how disgusting was Michael Jackson?

When Oprah Winfrey visited the Los Olivos, Calif., ranch for an interview in 1993, it was pristine. Floors were waxed, walls scrubbed and windows power-washed.

It was after she, guest Elizabeth Taylor and TV crews left the next morning that the real Jacko appeared.

“He literally peed on the floor of the entryway, right where you saw Oprah walk in. It was surreal. He just stood there, unzipped his trousers and watered the floor,” Maid No. 2 said.

That sounds bad, but to be fair, after Oprah has been on your territory, you do need to remark the boundaries. Maybe that's what Jackson was doing.

Maid No. 3 - do you have anything to... oh, you do:

“Any of the children he played with who hit the bull’s-eye would get extra ice cream or anything else they wanted,” said Maid No. 3, who worked from 1996 to 1999. “He hated those guys with a passion. He was surprisingly very anti-Semitic. He’d lead some of the kids in chants: ‘Kill the bastards,’ and ‘Kill the bloodsuckers.’ ”

The maid said Jacko watched in disgust as Spielberg got a Los Angeles Film Critics award in the 1990s.

“It was crazy. He turned into his favorite ‘Twilight Zone’ character, and his eyes kind of bugged out, and he went into this crazy trance, pointing his finger at the television screen and saying, ‘You’re a bad man, a very bad man,’ ” she said, referring to the famed TV series’ character of Anthony Fremont, a boy who “wishes away” anyone who displeases him.

“At first, I thought he’d bust out laughing or something or that he was playing around, but it changed his entire mood. He was dead serious.”

Instead of banishing his foe to a cornfield, as Anthony did, Jacko would wish Spielberg into “Jew hell,” the maid said.

That IS pretty awful, as everyone knows that Shatner's Bob Wilson is the best Twilight Zone character.

It's fair to say that, on the scale of assholery, 'encouraging kids to chant anti-Semitic rants' does knock 'cutting in line at Disneyland' very much into the second division.

Of course, had Bieber been ten years sooner, there's every chance that he would have got an invite to try the white-knuckle rides at Neverland. What a loss to humanity we never got such a crossover episode.

Madonna now very much the James Arthur of race relations

Hmm. So Madonna happily threw around the N-word on Instagram, and has got round to apologising. But, much as James Arthur tried to suggest his homophobic grunting wasn't bad because of how he did it, Madonna's apology tries to suggest that there's somehow a context in which it's all okay. NPR brings us up to speed:

On Friday night, the singer posted a picture of her 13-year-old son, Rocco, boxing and included the comment, "No one messes with Dirty Soap! Mama said knock you out!" She then added a variation of the N-word.

She quickly deleted the comment when outraged Instagram users berated her for the use of the word, and was initially defiant. But in a statement to The Associated Press on Saturday, a contrite Madonna said: "Forgive me."

"I am sorry if I offended anyone with my use of the N word on Instagram. It was not meant as a racial slur. I am not a racist. There's no way to defend the use of the word. It was all about intention," she said. "It was used as a term of endearment toward my son who is white. I appreciate that it's a provocative word and I apologize if it gave people the wrong impression."

Extra points, there, for saying that there's no way you can defend using the word, before going on to attempt to defend using the word.

But it's okay, see, because her son is white. That's so alright, then, yeah?

James Arthur burns through goodwill

James Arthur is well on his way to being a Pointless answer in the X Factor winners category in a year or two. You might have caught his appearance on Children In Need last night; even with what seemed to be seventy other people on stage, the song and performance was totally empty. It was like watching someone humming in a very busy bus station. Even his tattoos seemed to be embarrassed to be part of it.

It wasn't the worst thing involving James Arthur yesterday, though: he's outed himself as a racist homophobe, too.

Somehow Arthur got himself caught up in a rap diss war with Mickey Worthless. Miss, miss, Worthless started it:

‘You sucked Simon [Cowell’s] bell to get your deal. You suck Simon’s bell and Louis [Walsh’s]’ as well. Yeah you did, you faggot. Yeah you did, fuck off.’

Leaving aside the obvious homophobia of this line, if it was true, then surely Arthur could at least be said to have put in the hours to get his deal?

Arthur, though, wasn't taking it lying down - the claims, that is - and decided to respond. Rather than write a reply which said 'Actually, you're homophobic and I'm far far greater/ won a public vote with an independent adjudicator', Arthur responded in kind:

“You’re a terrible rapper, you should shoot yourself”[...]

“You fucking queer. Hilarious, precarious you Talibani confused, imbecilic mimic of a gimmick”.

Ah, yes. The moral high ground of adding pedestrian racism to homophobic insults.

Arthur at first tried to brazen it out:

He thought he was Mr Rap Battle, so he had to get it. He asked for it

You'll note that Arthur seems convinced that it is HE who is Mr Rap Battle.

Someone, though, has intervened and pulled Arthur's Soundcloud o' Intolerance.

As the shit, stitched-together Tommy Duckworth without Tommy Duckworth storyline on Corrie shows, ITV isn't amused when its tea-and-crumpets image is disrupted by children doing filthy raps, so let's hope Arthur isn't expecting to appear on X Factor this season. (Equally, if Arthur does, Chris Fountain might have the makings of an unfair dismissal claim on his hands.)

In the short term, it might be best if someone stops buying the two boys top-up vouchers for their phones.

[Thanks to Michael M]

Wait, wait: there is something interesting about the Lily Allen video

Lily Allen's probably wishing she'd stuck to covering Keane and helping John Lewis flog festive geegaws.

Instead, she's found herself caught up in being guilty of not having addressed every single social wrong in a three-minute pop parody video.

There's a lot of stuff been churned out about the Hard Out Here video, and, I suspect, there is much more to come, although anything that goes beyond 'perhaps Allen didn't think through absolutely everything through from every angle' is probably overboiled and aimed at a soft target.

What is quite interesting, though, is the interesting and polite interaction between Suzanne Moore and Lily Allen on Twitter last night - proving, at least, that it is possible to disagree, and disagree about fundamental and important things, without resorting to ALLCAPS FUCK-LOBBING.

What is even more interesting, though, is that Allen appears to have deleted her messages to Moore, leaving Moore appearing to be talking into thin air. It's a pity, as Allen made a really sharp point, reminding Moore of the time Suzanne accidentally upset trans people.

It all ended with this:

2) Feminism is cool about disagreement . I respect. @lilyallen We are grown ups . We both give as good as we get.

— suzanne moore (@suzanne_moore) November 14, 2013

But it's disappointing that Lily's side of the debate has vanished already, and her Twitter feed returned to a bland list of viewcounts and iTunes positions. I'd rather hear her thoughts than Keane covers.

American Idol is so very racist, claim booted contestants

American Idol producers are currently being deluged by a class-action lawsuit from disqualified contestants, who are claiming they were kicked out because the programme is racist.

On The Daily Beast, Kevin Fallon puts up a strong defence on behalf of the programme.

How can the show be racist, he asks, when so many winners are African-American? And, sure, 10 of the 12 contestants who have been canned for not having revealed the truth about their arrest histories are non-white, but other contestants have also been dropped for not being open and honest about, for example, having record deals in the past. It's a rule thing, not a race thing.

Fallon ends by calling an expert witness, Nigel Lythgoe:

Back, in January, Nigel Lythgoe, former executive producer of the show, said he was “shocked” by the charges, saying, “We treat everyone the same no matter the race, religion, or sex. I think we’ve always had a fantastic share of talent from contestants both black and white. I don’t think I’ve ever seen racism at the show.”

As someone who will now sheepishly admit that he has, in fact, seen every episode of American Idol — and don’t you dare calculate how much time of my life that amounts to — I can unequivocally agree with Lythgoe. I haven’t seen any, either.

And all that is quite compelling, but... it doesn't really get to the heart of the allegation in the lawsuit. Entertainment Weekly reports:

Furthermore, Freeman wrote, the show illegally dug up arrest histories for those 10 men, using them to humiliate the singers — but never attempted to dig up similar dirt about white contestants. Allegedly, only black contestants were questioned about their criminal histories.

Freeman called these actions “cruel and inhumane,” accusing Idol of exploiting black contestants, perpetuating “destructive stereotypes,” and making them appear to be “violent criminals, liars, and sexual deviants” — though none of the 10 men he represents had been convicted of charges stemming from their arrests.

(It's worth pointing out the Idol producers claim they obtained all their information through legal methods.)

That claim - that some black contestants were effectively brought onto the show and then beaten down - is one that you can't wave away by saying 'but black contestants won'. You can see, at least, the possibility that Idol has constructed a way of having an inclusive storyline while still pandering to prejudice.

There's a couple of questions that need to be answered: does Idol only investigate its black contestants in this way? How is it obtaining the information? And why isn't this done before putting a camera into people's faces?

Little Big Ban: No Doubt pull video, claims some of their friends are Native Americans

No Doubt have, within the last 24 hours, unveiled a Western-themed video for Looking Hot, pulled it, and issued an apology:

“As a multi-racial band our foundation is built upon both diversity and consideration for other cultures. Our intention with our new video was never to offend, hurt or trivialize Native American people, their culture or their history.

Although we consulted with Native American friends and Native American studies experts at the University of California, we realize now that we have offended people. This is of great concern to us and we are removing the video immediately.

The music that inspired us when we started the band, and the community of friends, family, and fans that surrounds us was built upon respect, unity and inclusiveness. We sincerely apologize to the Native American community and anyone else offended by this video. Being hurtful to anyone is simply not who we are.”

Yes, they might have phrased it slightly differently, but the did slip "some of our friends are Native Americans into their apology.

To be fair to No Doubt, their defence is pretty solid - they've never been the sort of band you'd look at and think "well, the English Defence League would enjoy this" - which just makes the misstep even more bemusing.

Especially if they consulted Native American experts. Which academic in the field would have said "yeah, go ahead and make a pop video in which cowboys fight with 'Indians'. There won't be a problem with that'".

Gary Barlow: The white man's burden

If your toes curled at the "savages with spears" sequence of Gary Barlow's jubilee video, but were clinging to the hope it was well-meant but clumsy, I'm afraid it gets worse this morning as Gary Barlow gives an interview to The Sun in which he trots out the 'I saw a black person and thought they were going to eat me' line that you might have thought hasn't been seen outside a Punch pocket cartoon since the 1960s:

After travelling by canoe for six hours to the remote Pacific isle of Malaita, he was completely taken by surprise when he was surrounded by members of the clan wearing necklaces decorated with TEETH.

He told TV Biz how he was scared for his life and worried he would become the victim of cannibalism.

Gary said: “We were all white men and there were only eight of us.

“I really did think, ‘They’ve taken us all this way up the river and they could kill us and eat us alive and no one would know’.”

Just while that's sinking in, you might also want to ponder how Gary thinks you could be first killed, and then eaten alive.

Kelly Clarkson endorses, distances self from Ron Paul

Kelly Clarkson appears to have switched sides, announcing that she loves Ron Paul.

And then, after discovering that it wasn't a popular idea, trying to sort-of-half-endorse him:

"I do not support racism. I support gay rights, straight rights, women's rights, men's rights, white/black/purple/orange rights. I like Ron Paul because he believes in less government and letting the people (all of us) make the decisions and mold our country. That is all. Out of all of the Republican nominees, he's my favorite."

Aw, yes - who cares about the racism and the homophobia when he'll make government smaller?

In other words: Kelly Clarkson is happy to endorse anyone, regardless of how shady their character, providing she pays less tax as a result.

Gordon in the morning: Print this out, keep it in your wallet

I'm not sure that an interview with Gordon Smart can form a legally binding contract, but let's cling to the possibility:

THOSE wooden stools can now officially be turned into sawdust – DA LOIFE say they will never return as a band following their farewell tour.

Oh, by the way, the dodgy "Loife" isn't actually the worst of Smart's lapse into clumsy Irish stereotyping - Alan Smartridge, if you will:

The lads have ruled out doing a Take That-style comeback in years to come.

Even if they were offered all the potatoes in Ireland. That's it.

Let's just be thankful he managed to get through the piece without mentioning horses on council estates.

Being Smart, he doesn't actually have a quote which backs up his claim, instead offering this:

Kian Egan said: "We walked away from a multi-million-pound record deal that would have changed our lives for ever, secured our future beyond anything.

"It's not about the money. We'd have made far more on a new record than we ever would with a comeback tour."

That's not quite the same thing as saying there will never be a return, though, is it?

The real worry is that there's now going to be lots of them making records:

Shane said: "The first person to decide to do a solo record, the other three will all be there."

You do know that's not quite how "solo" works, don't you, Shane?

Morrissey remembers he's meant to be suing the NME

Four years ago, when the NME ran Morrissey's comments about the country being "flooded", the singer threatened to sue the NME for making him look like a racist. At the time, he ended up only suing The Word, who apologised in court for referencing the comments.

And that seemed to be that.

Until yesterday, when Morrissey's people and the NME turned up in court. MediaGuardian reports:

Lawyers for the former Smiths frontman told the high court on Monday that the singer "continues to suffer" reputational damage from a controversial interview he gave to NME magazine four years ago in which he complained about an "immigration explosion" leading to a loss of British identity.

The court hearing was to decide if Morrissey could bring an action against IPC and the then-editor of NME, Conor McNicholas. Morrissey contends that the piece remains a blot on his character; the IPC team counter that he hasn't seemed that bothered up until now:

However, lawyers for McNicholas and the NME told the court the claim should be struck out. Catrin Evans, acting for the magazine, claimed that financial difficulties, a legal dispute in the US and an acrimonious fallout with his then manager had "distracted" Morrissey from pursuing his claim against NME.

Morrissey threatened legal action against the magazine in November 2007, days after the interview was published.

According to Evans, the singer dropped the complaint for three years before recently reigniting the row. "The court can infer from this that there has been such a delay that is not a genuine bid for vindication," Evans said. "[The claim] simply didn't figure at the forefront of his mind."

Evans claimed that Morrissey "by his own actions" has provoked "more topical" accusations of racism – including an interview with the Guardian in September 2010 in which he described Chinese people as a "subspecies" – since the NME article was published.

Part of the IPC case is that Morrissey continues to tour and sell records, and that his fanbase seems undiminished as a result of the article - the "nobody pays much attention to the NME" defence.

MediaGuardian ends with this:

McNicholas, whose seven-year editorship of the NME was characterised largely by the well-publicised row, was in court for the three-hour hearing on Monday. The hearing continues on Tuesday.

To be fair, when you think of McNicholas' period at the NME, it's surely the vanishing circulation that you think of first, isn't it?

Kelis racist incident suddenly moves a few hundred miles south

The incident that Kelis reported on Twitter where she was racially abused in a London airport? It now turns out she was in Spain:

"Just to clarify, because apparently there's been some confusion, I was in the UK (as always) this time for Bestival (which was great)," she wrote. "I took a flight from Gatwick (airport) back to Spain so for those fact checkers that is approximately a two and a half to three hour flight.

She added: "I landed in Spain and that's when the fat pink faced British guy who was on the plane with me called me a slave and (told me) to call him sir. It was at passport control. I didn't think to make that clear at the time because I was shaken and furious. Now you know."

You'll note the dig at "fact checkers", by which she means those tiresome types who, erm, pointed out that her story wasn't straight.

Now, it's fair enough that you might be angry and annoyed and tweet something opaque - but Kelis had already returned to the subject once when challenged on her sweeping statements about racism in the UK, and neglected to mention the important location of the alleged incident.

And it does make a massive difference to the story whether this happened in London or Spain - part of the complaint was the man behind the passport control counter merely repeated the first bloke's "Kunta Kinte" jibe as if he was amused by it. If you're building an argument about how racism is rife and undiscussed in the UK, using the actions of a Spanish civil servant as part of your evidence would seem to undermine your case somewhat.

[Thanks to Peter D in the comments]

Kelis hates us so much right now

It is, of course, wrong and unforgivable that an idiot at an airport had a go at Kelis. The Mail's coverage doesn't actually help, either:

American singer Kelis has launched into an angry Twitter tirade against Britain after she was allegedly subjected to racial abuse in a London airport.

The 32-year-old was waiting at passport control at one of the capital's airports when she was apparently labelled a 'slave' by a middle-aged white man.

The Mail's standfirst - which is all most of its readers will have read before leaping down to the comment forms - neglects some of the fine detail which appears further down. The "disgusting Nigerian" comment, for example, which is just horrible.

I think we might have to take issue, though, with Kelis' decision to use this one incident as an exemplar of race relations in 21st Century Britain:

'I didn't say anything at the time of the riots in London for a lot of reasons. But I am in London all the time and today I'm gonna say that the racial issues in the UK are disgusting.

'Its racially decades behind progression because everything is swept under the rug. People don't talk about it. People don't fight about it. Not mentioning a problem doesn't make it go away.'

Hmm. So, Kelis could have said things at the time of the riots, but didn't. Perhaps because the riots and looters were from a wide range of backgrounds?

I'm sure the organisers of Love Music Hate Racism, or RISE, or Kick Racism Out Of Football, or all of the other groups fighting racism in all sorts of fields will be surprised to hear that there's no fighting against xenophobia; likewise, given how often the Mail runs stories about how much "political correctness" there is in the UK, with its going mad all the time, I doubt the right would entirely recognise a Britain in which casual racism doesn't create a storm.

There's too many people like the guy behnd Kelis at the airport. And I don't think we can deny her right to be pissed off and angry. But later on, when people responded "aren't you American? Isn't there a bit of a problem there, too?" she ploughed on:

'[Americans] are the poster child for racial inequality even still with a black president. But its NO SECRET! And that I can fight against. I can try to prepare and teach my son. Because its out there. But you can't fight for or against something no one is willing to talk about or even admit exist.'

Isn't pretending the British don't talk about racism a bit... well, of lazy stereotyping?

[Thanks to Michael M]

Spotify take down Skrewdriver, eventually

Quietly, the Skrewdriver album which had arrived on Spotify seems to have gone.

This seems to be something of a change of heart from the company, which last week replied to my complaint:

Dear Joseph!

I'm not called Joseph.

Our catalogue is drawn from music provided by tens-of-thousands of record labels and aggregators from all over the world and these rightsholders are responsible for the music they deliver to Spotify. As a music platform, our job is to provide our users with the choice of as much of the world's legally available music as possible and not to judge what people should and shouldn't listen to. We have over 10 million tracks, adding about 10,000 tracks per day, and as such there may be some material that people will find offensive.

As ever, Spotify users have the freedom to choose exactly what music they listen to. However, as a result of this issue, we are building a new system that will also allow users to filter out explicit material or tracks that could be deemed offensive. Advertisers on Spotify will continue to be able to filter out explicit content when running campaigns.

We want to underline that whilst we believe in freedom of expression and do not censor material that has been legally licensed to us, Spotify absolutely does not support any content that incites hatred of any kind, be that race, religion, sexuality or otherwise.

If we are informed that some music is illegal, then we will take appropriate action. However, we feel that it is not our place to actively censor or remove music that isn't illegal and leave it to individual users to choose not to listen to music that may cause offence.

Kind regards,
Henrik

Perhaps they should have listened to the Skrewdriver stuff they were supporting at the time before confidently claiming the Spotify didn't support material inciting hatred. At that time, Spotify was hosting When The Boat Comes In, with the cheerful "nigger, nigger, get out of here/ nigger, nigger, go go go" chorus and the pledge to "fight them to the death". But, obviously, not in a hateful way.

It's good that the company did the right thing in the end, but it's incredibly disappointing that their first reaction was to churn out an ill-judged form lecture on free speech instead of listening to the songs they were offering.