MEGADEATH SING JOHN BOLTON'S TUNE

As if the United Nations didn't have enough to contend with, what with John Bolton being the first instance of a hostile ambassador, now they're going to have to cope with being the target of neocon hair metallers Megadeath.

Yes, Megadeath. They're calling their next album United Abominations. Do you get it?

Dave Mustaine explains:

"I was watching TV and saw the trucks that said 'UN' on them and said, 'Man, you are so uncool, ineffective, anything," the singer/guitarist said in a recent Billboard interview.

"I thought, 'Wow, I've got to run with this. I got it -- United Abominations, 'cause it's an abomination what they're doing!"

He's right, you know - working to bring aid to the hungry and frightened, and trying to seek peace and prevent war, that's just so uncool. Like, they drive round in vans with UN on the side - un, like in uncool. See, dudes? And even Kofi Anan admits the UN is just, so, anything.

The UN has reportedly gone into emergency session to discuss how to deal with this serious threat to their authority. The security council have passed a resolution calling for Mustaine to "get his stupid hair cut and stop sounding like a Fisher-Price Slayer", but that still needs to be ratified by the whole council. Fiji has suggested that Iron Maiden be sent in to Megadeath in a bid to calm the situation.

Oddly, Mustaine is calculating the gestation time of United Abominations at somewhere between 18 months and two years - in other words, he takes six times longer to make an album virtually identical to the last one than than the period he expects the UN to solve the Lebanon-Israel conflict in.

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